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Pure Bollocks Issue 22_010

eZine's profile picture
Published in 
Pure Bollocks
 · 5 years ago

  


---------------------------------

* S A D * C A S E * C O R N E R *

---------------------------------


Yes, the Sad Case of the Year awards return for their second year. This is an
award given to a person or persons that either really pisses people off by what
they write or makes them piss themselves laughing! In short- an computer nerd
or a literary lamer. (Nice phrases, Genie!) Last year's award (read PB #21 for
all the guff) went to CHRIS BAILLIES for being an Amiga-lamer who knew fuck all
about the Falcon, and yet went into the ST Fidonet echo just to slag it off!
The runner up for Sad Case '92 was a close second by AARON SMITHIES who was
also an Amiga lamer slagging off the ST, but even less subtle!
We'll be giving out a couple of nominations of our own in the next couple
of issues, and we'll be announcing the winner in the next Christmas/New Year
issue of PB. If you wish to add your nomination and reasons why you think they
deserve the title of Sad Case of the Year 1993. These can include stuff like
text files they wrote or ripped out scrolltext. As our award winner of last
year shows, they don't have to be involved in demos or cracking!
So here's one nomination, and there's anothers in the other text files,
which will also tell you more about

***

DISCLAIMER: (1) The views expressed here are not neccesarily those of all the
contributers to this or any issue of Pure Bollocks disk
magazine.
(2) To Powerman - this is not a dig at your coding skills, believe
us! Sad Case awards are only judged on what a person or persons
say or write, so this is completely seperate to the Flowerman
slag in PB #21. If you have a nomination of your own,
and evidence to back up your nomination (eg text files and so
on), then you're welcome submit it.

***

SAD CASE '93 - NOMINATION NUMBER 1 - APPEARING IN PURE BOLLOCKS #22

This is a strange one- it's not a person but a duo- but we think they're
equally sad, not neccessarily in coding or anything like that, but in what they
say. So we won't comment too much.... For PB #22 we present the nomination for
POWERMAN and FLASHBACK JACK of The Wild Boys.

NOMINATION 1 : POWERMAN & FLASHBACK JACK OF TWB.
NOMINATED : EGB'S SMELLY SOX
SECONDED : FLOWERMAN


----------------------------------------------------------------

From Ledgers 3: 'PD Column' by STE of UNT

It might not seem like much, but it got Powerman and Flashback Jack annoyed!

<< STATE OF THE ART DEMO - The Wild Boy- Powerman with a scroll text
by Flash Back Jack .. >>


---------------------------------------------------------------

From Ledgers 4: 'TWB News' by POWERMAN of TWB

This is in 'answer' to the above, and it also notes what Powerman and Flashback
Jack did when someone sent them hate-mail!

<< Ok- now I'll tell you about Flashbak Jack. He was pretty angry about the
review of State Of The Art in Ledgers 3- because it said: State of the
art- by the Wild Boy- Powerman with a scroller by Flashbak Jack! So- he
has started doing some designing and other things for our new megademo-
and I cant say anything (well- wont say- I can say what I want but I wont
say what I can say because I dont want to....) but some of his ideas are
going to make this megademo one to look out for.........
Flash was staying at my house a couple of weeks ago- and I got a letter
addressed to Powerwoman! When Magz of SPI called me Flowerman- I was
deeply offended..... but POWERWOMAN! Now that really does take the urine
(well if I was allowed to swear that sentence would make sense!). I
opened the letter and I cant repeat what it said (lots of swearing you
see.....) but basically this guy was saying rude things about State of the
art. There was an address and phone number on the letter- so Flash phoned
up (I was on the other phone) and a woman answered (I presumed it was this
guys mum). He asked if this guy was in- and she said 'no' and I said
something like 'Tell your son he's dead!'. Flash had a right go at me- and
later we phoned up again and he told me to shut my mouth- so I didn't say
anything this time........ it turned out that this guy didn't send the
letter (so I'm very sorry for what I said. I wont mention your name- but
you know who you are!). He said it might have been Derek MD- and
considering what we said about him in the Wild demo- I wouldn't be
suprised. Anyway- the reason for telling you this is because I want to
know who sent the letter. Own up unless you're too chicken to face The
Wild Boys.......I dont want to turn this wonderful disk mag into a
noticeboard for slagging people off- but this guy derserves it.......own
up- and I'll get Flash to round up the boys and then we'll bust you
up.......... >>


-----------------------------------------------------------------

From Ledgers 5: by Tick of SPI

This tells us about all of the above, and also about Flashback Jack and TWB's
taste in music. (Note all swearwords were censcored in this article so it would
be acceptable to Budgie UK!)

<< As soon as we had got in the car Powerman stuck on Quadrophonia at about 4
billion decibels, it sounded quite good for the first ten seconds!!!! Well
at Powermans me and Mikey or rather me and Mikey, well enough of that but
we got out our new disks to show powerman. He also gave us a look at
Magnums Gfx ( well wicked, I bet it was digitised!!!!!! No only joking, I
love the sprites for Powermans Game, well funky ) also some of the demon
X's music which was pretty good but was mostly of Technoshot which I don't
like that much. I also saw quite a few things for the Enterprise megademo
and it looks like being a 2 disk job now! Well Flash BACK JACK ( he'll love
that spelling ) phoned up at about 12 o'clock and Powerman was trying to
persuade him to come round in the afternoon but Flash back jacky said he
had his paper round to do.

Anyway we ate lunch and then flash back jacky came round, he was really
passed off about what the Untouchables had put on their review of State of
the Art ( I love it Mat, State of the art by the wild boy and Flash back
jacky did a scroll text, Classic ), well I thought he'd be a 5 foot midget
but he was actually quite tall for such a young duck head, he is actually
still in school ( the fourth year!!!!!1 Bwah Bwah Bwah ), well he
imediately put on his Techno shot and turned up the volume to full blast
and started to jive to very similar sounding tunes for about 4 hours,
listening to this stuff all the time makes you realise why Jacky is the way
he is. He also came out with all these bullshot stories about him being
followed by police as he and his freind had been arrested the other day for
drug trafficing, what a load of ballblocks!!! When he got the shot kicked
out of him at Lotus Turbo espirit by Mikey he said it was because he
couldn't play puter games on an empty stomach and was begging Powerman to
order a pizza.

Well we left at 5 o'clock and bleive me after a whole solid day of techno
crup your ears really feel like shot. Believe me Matt i'd consider your
self lucky that you've never met Jacky, well jacky if your reading this
letter, ohh I forgot you can't read as Techno has damaged your brain and
you are a school drop out and you'll probably be dead anyway or in prison
so you probably won't be reading this.

-----------------------------------------------------

Well I have just read the ledgers 3 and 4 and I have a few comments to
make. Firstly I don't look anything like Doogie Howser as was implied by
Matt. Also I found Powermans article very amusing, he was on about sending
Flash Back Jackie round to Derek MD's house to kill him. Well if you have
met Flash back Jackie you will know why this is funny, I mean what's a 14
year old teenie bopper gonna do to someone ? well I suppose being Flash
back Jackie he could always ballshot Derek to death. Here's how the
conversation would go:

Jackie: Well Derek your history mate, me and my mafia brothers are gonna
break your kneecaps, I have a 2 foot flick knife in my pocket, a
concealed one at that, I almost got caught by the pigs yesterday
for smuggling drugs through from Brazil coz i'm a drug barron mate,
I also have my five bodygaurd positioned on roof tops to shot you
if you should make any movement.

By this time derek would have heard enough ballshot to make him commit
suicide by impailing himself on a large spike. >>

--------------------------------------------------------------------

"Day in the life of Flashback Jack" - article in Ledgers 6

<< A day in the life of Flashbak Jack of The Wild Boys
---------------------------------------------------

Yep, its all completely true, no wonder Flash hasnt got time to do more
than a scroll text on the Wild Boys demos ! .. By the way Flash, you should
watch what you say about us, your threat scared the poor old Equaliser so
much he only goes out under cover of darkness in a heavy disguise now !

Mat !



Monday, November 4, 1991
------------------------

06.00 Got out of bed, had a wash, a piss, a shit and some breakfast. Got
a big job on today, a hit to be precise downtown in west
London..... better get all my equipment ready, the hit goes down at
09.00 hours. Shit! My 9mm automatic is busted, I'll have to give
Nick a call and see if he can do the job for me, he's just got out
of jail for selling puff, so he might not want to get involved.
Hang on a sec... 995 3663......bring....bring.....click.....Hello.
Hey yo man its Flash here, whats happenin? "Hey man, why you run
off dat day me and you were down Acton Town selling puff, I did 2
years in prison cos a you, you're a dead man Flash, dead........"
brrrrrrrrr. Oh well, what a sore loser, I'll just have to get
someone else to do it.......

08.00 Good news, I got someone to take the hit for me, which means I've
got some time today to do that bank job I've been planning. First
thing I gotta do is round up some mates......

08.30 Ok, a few of my mates are now at my house, and we're off to school
but only so that no-one will get suspicous. At lunchtime we're
gonna go down National and Provincial........we might visit Dixons
while we're at it.......

08.40 Got on the bus. Loads of kids from my school were on the bus, you
can tell by the disgustingly ugly green blazers we have to wear.
Shit, some guy from my school is getting beaten up by someone from
Nower Hill school.......gees man, all these guys from my school are
such wimps, except me and my mates of course. Theres an old woman
standing by the doors waiting to get off the bus, I've got an idea.
Boof!!!!!! Hehehe, I just kicked the old woman out of the bus!
Ha!

09.00 Arrived at school, Rick of KLF is hanging around outside with his
pit-bull terrier, probably trying to pick up little boys like me,
better try and avoid him....... [No, I don't know what the fuck
they're on about either! -EGBSS]

09.30 I'm now behind the bike sheds smoking snouts......I hope I dont get
caught this time or I'll have to chip down Powermans house like I
did last time so that I dont have to face my dad when he finds
out..... wooooo,woooo,woooo shit man, thats the radic, they must
have found out that I was behind the hit which went down a few
minutes ago, I'm outta here........ [radic = polis in case you
haven't guessed. -EGBSS]

10.00 I'm safe, the radic came round and asked a few questions, but I was
no where to be found. I better lay low for while, theres gonna be
a lot of heat on the streets after this morning.......

11.00 In an hours time I'll round up the gang to do that bank job, but
its now morning break and I've got a chance to sell some 'stuff' to
all the kids.........stuff like puff of course (snout, grass,
gunga, coke, you name it I got it) and car radios, videos etc......

12.00 Rounded up the gang, and we're off down the high street. Firstly
though, I gotta get a get-away-car. I know, I'll phone my
wonderful and amazing cousin Powerman! 081 922 6671 Bring
Bring.....click.... Yo whats up.........Yo man its Flash, I need ya
to come round, I'm gonna do a bank job and I need a car.........
"Fuck off" .......click... Ah well, I'll just have to nick a car
then. Right, car park, thats where to go. Hmmm, a mini,
naaaaa..........Skoda, naaaa........yes, I'll have some a
this.......an RS Turbo, very nice.........boof!! Wooo Wooo Wooo
shit man, the alarms gone off! Quick, get in the car lads! Right,
I'll just hot wire it and we're off. Brrum! Bruuum! Shit, which
one is first? This one I think............"Thief! Yo come back
here with my car you little bustop!"

13.00 Managed to get away in the stolen car, we're now parked outside the
bank, and we're just about to go in. Masks on
everyone........right, just a minute while I load this M16
automatic........Ok lads, lets do it...........Oh shit! What the
hell? Its closed! "Maybe thats because its lunchtime Flash......."
who asked you you fat dick..... We'll do Dixons then.......

14.00 We're now outside Dixons, and after waiting for the staff to get
back from lunch, we are ready to go in........Boof!!!! Gimme all
that money now! Move it, come on come on I aint got all day!
Shit! Does that Lynx come with a power supply? I saw one just like
it the other day for twice that! I'll have one of them
please.........thats 100 pounds please...........heres two fifties,
thanks a lot...... "Hey Flash, why did you pay for that?" What,
you expect me to steal it? Gees.......

17.00 Got back from school, still a lot of heat around, but I'm safe.....

17.35 Watched Neighbours

18.00 Watched Home and Away

19.00 Left my house to meet some of my mates at Acton Town station.
We're gonna try and sell some puff we gotta get rid off.......hope
the radic dont come round again......

19.30 No luck yet, nobody seems to be interested. Whats thats sound?
Jeeesus! Lets get the fuck out of here.......... "Ok man, you're
under arrest, spread em!" Shit, I'm under arrest, wait a minute,
I've got an idea. Boooooof! Haaha, just kicked that pig in the
dick, I better run for it.

20.00 I'm at Powermans house after being chased by the police but I was
faster than them. Wow! Powermans been showing me some wicked
stuff from Hardcore Dancefloor 2. Better get home before my mum
starts to wonder where I am.

21.00 Got home. Well, this is it, thats a typical day of my life.
Tommorrow I've got another hit on, plus a few muggings......but I
dont want to bore you with any more of my very boring life.

00.00 Good night!

Newsflash: at this moment news has come in that Flashbak Jack of the
infamous Wild Boys based in London has fled the country after
XTC tablets and other drugs were found at his home. He is also
wanted on several attempted murder charges and worst of all,
not doing any work for The Wild Boys, most notable in the State
Of The Art megademo in which he only did 2 scrollers and
designed 1 screen. A spokesperson from The Wild Boys wouldn't
comment on the matter......more news as it arrives...... >>

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Scrolltext from intro to Ledgers 9- written by Spy of (then) TUC.

<< HELLO THIS IS THE SPY OF TUC TYPING HERE. WELL I HOPE YOU LIKE THIS SHORT
INTRO THAT THE ARGONAUT DID. WE DECIDED TO DO THIS SCREEN WHEN WE SAW THAT
REALLY CRAP ATTEMPT AT TRIDI BY THE POWERMAN ON LEDGERS SEVEN (DISK A), I
MEAN IT WAS PRETTY POOR DON'T YOU THINK? ANYWAY I'D BETTER NOT GO TOO FAR
WITH SLAGGING COZ HE MIGHT ACTUALLY COME BACK TO THE ST SCENE AND DO
SOMETHING GOOD, BUT I DOUBT IT. ...... I CODED THIS SCREEN WITH A BIT OF
HELP FROM EQUINOX, THEY DON'T ACTUALLY REALISE THAT THEY HELPED ME, BUT
THEY DID. I LOOKED AT CODE, BUT I GAVE CREDIT. MIND YOU, THE POLYGON
ERASING IS MY OWN METHOD, AND SO IS THE TRIDI CALCULATIONS (98 PERCENT).
........ BY THE WAY HEY POWERMAN (IF YOU SEE THIS), THEN I CAN IMAGINE THAT
YOUR FILLED TRIDI WILL GAIN SPEED, AT LEAST YOU DIDN'T LOOK AT OTHERS CODE,
BUT PAYED FOR IT WITH SHIT RESULTS! NICE RASTER FX THOUGH! >>

--------------------------------------------------------------------

"Mutant Monthly 6" by Tick of SPI from Ledgers issue 7

<< What the folk is happening to the enterprise ? ...... So who's left ? Well
there's the wild Boys, then I get a call from Dan telling me that they have
gone to the amiga, Dan said he got this bit of gossip off Matt of the
Untouchables. Frankly I don't beleive it at all, but who knows ..... Well
as for me not beleiving the bit about Powerwoman and the rest of the Wild
boys going to the Ameoba, I am sorry MAtt!!!!! I rang up Powerwoman and he
said it was true, here's how the conversation went :

Rob : Hello Neil, I've been hearing a few funny stories recently.
Powerwoman : L..l...l..li..like w..w.....what ?]
Rob : I hear your an ameoba owner !!!!!!!
Powerwoman : Y...y...yes i..it i...i....s true.
Rob : Why ?
Powerwoman : Coz t..t..the a..a..ameobe i...i...s m.m..much better.
Rob : Has jackie got an amiga then ?
Powerwoman : Not at the moment, but I am gonna buy him one for Xmas in
exchange for sexual favours!!!!!!!

This means the end of the Wild Boys and the end of the enterprise, the
enterprise megademo would have been pretty shot anyway. Probably about as
orriginal as the state of the art demo but with orriginal coding and Gfx.
Oh yeah the reason for all the fullstop things in Powerwomans text is coz
he has a speach impediment, not coz I've got a dodgey keyboard on my Ste.

Actually I have to thank Powerwoman as he has given me agreat idea for the
Split Infinity Megademo. Just look out for the screens dedicated to him and
MAtt of the Untouchables, they should be very funny if you know these two
guys ( prat in Powerwomans case ). >>

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Response from POWERMAN in Ledgers 10- I don't know if it's serious though, when
groups keeps slagging each other it always seems to get down to this level
anyway!

<< Waffle by Powerman of TWB
-------------------------

Hi boyeeeees, Powerman is in the place and this time I'm talking about
nothing in particular, I dont even know what this article is about, I'm
making it up as I go which is why its called 'waffle'.........anyway, there
is a reason for this, I'll be giving some coding tips and talking about
some important things a bit later.......firstly let me say that Slam -
Another Hardcore Jam should be out now, or will be out very soon.......I've
just been reading Mutant Monthly 6 in Ledgers 7, and if you want to see
what I have to say to the Dick of Split Infinity (or what was SPI, I bet
they organised a copy party and all the members saw what the Dick looked
like and said 'we outta here'). Anyway, if you want our response, get
Slam.........I wont say anything here because Mat would have to spend at
least a week editing all the swear words, so get Slam and read the
scroller........Flashbak Jack came round yesterday in 175 grands worth of
car (an Aston Martin), dont worry, he wasn't driving.......he forgot to
bring his scrolltext for Slam but he told me about it, its mainly about the
Dick, and is very very offensive........dont read it if you have a weak
heart........oh by the way, did you know the Dick (or Rob James) was
homosexual? Yes, its true, when he came round my house he kept trying to,
erm, you know, he kept trying to (stop laughing, this is a very delicate
subject), ok I'll come straight out with it - he kept trying to bum me and
Flash up, we had to chuck him out because he couldn't control
himself......he also told us about his, how shall I put this, his bizarre
activities which he participates in with his school friends, and jees, he's
pretty friendly with 'em if ya know what I mean...........ok enough of
this, I just thought I should warn you about this guy if he phones you up
and askes if he can come (!!!) round..........dont forget to get Slam for
the full story.

.............

Ok all you coders out there, this ones for you......

Powermans Coding Tips part 3 or 4 or whatever, who gives a shat anyway?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Drink lots of Sunkist, not Coke because it makes your mouth feel very
strange after you've drank too much, not anything alcoholic because it
starts to taste like piss after a while (never mind, Flashbak Jack is the
only one who'll understand this!), not tea or coffee either.......

Listen to some ragga stylee house or techno with a hardcore stylee beat
museeeek.......something like T99, Quadrophonia, Roobarb and Custard,
Manix, Hypnotist, Cubic 22 etc.......if you haven't got anything like this
just chip down your local music store, bus down the door, walk in and say -
hey badboy, gimme some wicked house chuuunes or me gonna bus you
up........come man, gimme de ting now or me smack your face........if this
doesn't work then just say - please may I have some house records in
exchange for an agreed amount of English currency.......if this doesn't
work kick the guy and steal some records......check out a tune called
Liquid, its amazing......

When making a demo, the first thing you should do after you're loader has
been installed (or before if you want) is to clear the whole memory except
the bit used by the loader, this will prevent any software rippers from
working..... Also, set up a reset vector to clear the whole memory, as a
normal reset doesn't do this for you.......apparantly Nexus's software
ripper will rip anything, even if you clear the memory, so dont think
clearing the memory will put you in the clear, it will just prevent all the
lame software rippers from working....

Ok thats enough tips, you didn't think I was going to give away any really
useful tips like plotting 700 vectorballs with a 16khz soundtrack did you?
(see the next TWB megademo......). I'm listening to some awesome tunes at
the moment, ting is MENTAL!!!!! I dont care what anyone thinks, theres
nothing like pure hardcore techno to get your brain buzzin'.........

........

Hey Dick of SPI, dont bother looking for your crup loading graphics in the
Enterprise megademo, I told Nexus not to use them because (and I'll be as
subtle as I can) they are absolutely SHAT! Oh, and dont bother looking for
any of your shat (jees Mat, this no swearing rule is a right basta- a right
pain), TWB logos in any of my demos, you call youself a graphics artist,
even I could do better........hehehehe how da feel Dick........

.........

I was talking to Flashbak Jack yesterday, he told me how shat an album
called Atomizer was so all techno freaks do not buy this shat album! He
also read out his scrolltext for Slam, all I can say is that it must be the
most offensive scroller ever written, hey Dick you're gonna cry when you
read dis boyeeee, if Slam is already out you'll all know what I mean!

..........

One quick messge to the guy from the Pixel Twins who coded the sync
scroller on Ledgers 9 - I have every right to boast about my 10 scanline
sync scroller, seeing as at the time when it was coded sync scrollers were
not as common as they are today (these days anyone can get hold of one,
when I coded mine I had no help at all, I had to code it myself...).
Anyway, what I'm saying is that I can boast because I had a sync scroller
before most British crews, and at the time most people were using 14 line
and 20 line sync scrollers, so 10 scanlines was considered fast! Oh, and
my latest sync scroller only takes 5120 cycles, yours takes about 22000
(you waste about 17000 cycles at the beginning of the VBL just waiting in a
loop!). So there!

One more thing, hey you guys from the late Ultra Crew (hssshsshs...), have
you got that great chip tracker Tri Sound? I have, and some replay
routines, and no you cant have them! hehehehehe....

Ok I'm outta here, see ya'll in Slam or in P.O.P's forthcoming demo (I've
done a guest screen), dont forget to look out for a game called Cool J
Charlie, and if you are offered a pirate copy, give the guy a kick up the
backside, and a knife wound across the throut and a bullet in the head,
from me......

Over and Out

Powerman of TWB

Hey yo Dick, you're a dead man...

Yo Dick, you stink...

Oh, and get a decent haircut...

Sort out your clothes aswell...

know what I'm saying....

Peace(\/)

TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT WWW WWW BBBBBBBBBBBBBBB
TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT WWW WWW BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB
TTT WWW W WWW BBB BBB
TTT WWW WW WW WWW BBBBBBBBBBBBBBB
TTT WWW WW WW WWW BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB
TTT WWW WW WW WWW BBB BBB
TTT WWWWW WWWWW BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB
TTT WWW WWW BBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

Forever....



----------------------------------------------------------------------

Scrolltext to "Slam (Another Hardcore Jam)"

THIS DEMO MAY NOT BE REVIEWED IN ST FORMAT OR PUBLIC DOMAIN, IF YOU DO I'LL SUE
YOUR ASS....... WELCOME TO SLAM, THE SEQUEL TO THE AMAZING HARDCORE
DANCEFLOOR......... THIS DEMO WILL PROBABLY BE MORE FAMOUS FOR ITS OFFENSIVE
SCROLLTEXT THAN THE MUSIC, BUT ANYWAY IF THE TICK OR THE SPY IS READING DIS,
READ ALL DIS TEXT IF YOU DARE........... OK THIS IS THE FIRST TWB DEMO SINCE WE
STARTED CODING ON THE AMIGA, SO EVERYONE WHO KEPT SAYING WE HAD QUITTED THE ST
CAN SEE THAT ITS NOT TRUE AT ALL, WE ARE AN ST AND AMIGA CREW..... FIRST THINGS
FIRST, THE CREDITS - CODING BY POWERMAN, SOUNDTRACK ROUT FROM PROTRACKER,
GRAFIX BY MAGNUM, AWESOME MUZIX BY THE DEMON X AND AGAIN THE TITLE WAS THOUGHT
UP BY FLASHBAK JACK.......... OK, LETS TALK ABOUT WHAT TWB HAVE BEEN UP TO
SINCE HARDCORE DANCEFLOOR. BY THE WAY, DID YOU SEE THE REVIEW OF HARDCORE
DANCEFLOOR IN PUBLIC DOMAIN MAGAZINE? FOR A START THEY SAID 808 STATE PDL WERE
RESPONSIBLE FOR THE DEMO, THEN THEY SAID THAT THE 5 TRACKS WEREN'T ENOUGH, AND
TO TOP IT ALL OFF THEY MADE IT SOUND AS IF WE JUST SAMPLED 5 TRACKS FROM
BEGINNING TO END.........HEY FUTURE PUBLISHING, Y'ALL ARE A BUNCH OF SORRY
LOOSERS, LIKE THE DICK OF SPI.........OK, LETS GET BACK TO TALKING ABOUT TWB.
OUR GAME IS REALLY COMING ALONG NICELY NOW......I'VE SENT A PREVIEW TO
RENEGADE, AND I'VE STARTED THE AMIGA CONVERSION. THE DIGITISED MUSIC IS REALLY
GOOD, THE AMIGA VERSION WILL HAVE DIGITISED MUSIC ALL THE WAY THROUGH, THE ST
VERSION HAS CHIP MUSIC WHILE YOU'RE PLAYING. SPEAKING OF CHIP MUSIC, A GUY
CALLED NEXUS (WHOS DOING THE ENTERPRISE MEGADEMO, ALL ENTERPRISE MEMBERS SHOULD
SEND ME THEIR SCREENS AND I'LL PASS THEM ON) CAME ROUND A FEW WEEKS AGO AND
AGREED TO DO THE CHIP MUSIC FOR MY GAME. AFTER SEVERAL CRASHES WE MANAGED TO
GET HIS CHIP MUSIC DRIVER WORKING WITH MY GAME. I MUST MENTION THAT THE BASS
ON HIS TUNES IS VERY GOOD, IT EVEN RIVALS COUNT ZEROS BASS SOUND! AND NO, IT
DOESN'T USE SAMPLES.......OK, NOW THE INTERESTING BIT - MY GAME WILL BE CALLED
COOL J CHARLIE, AND OUR DEVELOPMENT NAME IS WILD DESIGNS. THE STORY HAS BEEN
CREATED BUT ITS NOT FINALISED YET........OK, I'LL STOP TALKING ABOUT MY GAME
NOW, BUT I HAVE JUST ONE THING TO SAY - PLEASE DONT PIRATE IT, OR DISTRIBUTE
PIRATE COPIES BECAUSE IF YOU DO I'LL KICK YOUR ASS..........BUT SERIOUSLY, IF
YOU WANT TO KEEP PLAYING SLOW GAMES WITH JERKY SCROLLING, SHIT GRAFIX AND EVEN
WORSE SOUND, JUST PIRATE OUR GAME AND WE'LL GIVE AMIGA OWNERS OUR
GAMES.........DONT PIRATE OUR GAME AND WE'LL KEEP MAKING ST GAMES......SO DO
THE RIGHT THING.........OK LETS TALK ABOUT THE NEXT TWB MEGADEMO.......OOPS!
DID I SAY MEGADEMO? ERRRM, WHAT I MEANT WAS, OHHH OK, THE CATS OUT OF THE HAT
(???) NOW SO YES ITS TRUE, THERE WILL BE ANOTHER TWB MEGADEMO. I WAS GOING TO
KEEP IT A SECRET, BECAUSE IT WILL CONTAIN A FEW THINGS NEVER SEEN BEFORE ON THE
ST, AND WILL HAVE A VERY NICE 3D DEMO, BUT I SUPPOSE THERE'S NO HARM IN TELLING
YOU THERE WILL BE A THIRD TWB MEGADEMO, I'M JUST NOT GOING TO REVEAL ANY
DETAILS. IT SHOULD BE FINISHED IN A FEW MONTHS HOPEFULLY, SHORTLY AFTER MY GAME
IS RELEASED ANYWAY. I'VE BEEN DOING SOME AMIGA CODING LATELY, MAINLY MY GAME
BUT SOME FILLED 3D CODE AS WELL. THE AMIGA IS VERY EASY TO CODE, BECAUSE THE
HARDWARE DOES EVERYTHING FOR YOU, WHICH MEANS YOU CAN CONCENTRATE MORE ON IDEAS
AND GOOD EFFECTS INSTEAD OF ALWAYS WORRYING ABOUT CPU TIME........ HEY, HAVE
YOU NOTICED THE LACK OF COLOUR FLICKERING ON THIS SCROLLER? (THIS IS A 1 PLANE
SCROLLER WITH RASTERS). READ LEDGERS 7 TO FIND OUT HOW ITS DONE. OK LETS HAVE
SOME GREETS, WHICH GO TO THE UNTOUCHABLES (HEY TONY, THANKS FOR AGREEING TO DO
A SCREEN!), FUTURE MINDS, FUZION (MACDOS, I'LL USE YOUR GFX IN MY NEXT
MEGADEMO!), SKA (CANT WAIT FOR YOUR VECTOR DEMO!), TOUR DE FORCE, NATO,
TERMINATORS, INNER CIRCLE, FLEXICHRON, DNT CREW, AND ALL OTHER DECENT CREWS ON
THE ST...........MEGA SUPER DOOPA KISS MY ASS GREETS TO THE DICK AND SPY.
ANYONE WHOS READ THE MUTANT MONTHLY 6 ARTICLE IN LEDGERS 7 WILL KNOW WHY WE
DETEST THE DICK......OF COURSE NONE OF WHAT HE SAID IS TRUE, ANYONE STUPID
ENOUGH TO BELIEVE HIM IS JUST AS IMMATURE AND CHILDISH AS HE HIS. HOWEVER, I
FEEL IT IS MY DUTY TO SET THE RECORD STRAIGHT, NOT THAT TWB HAVE ANY OBLIGATION
TO DEFEND OURSELVES FROM A LITTLE SHIT LIKE THE DICK YOU UNDERSTAND..........
ANYWAY I WILL SET THE RECORD STRAIGHT FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO WANT TO HEAR THE
TRUTH FROM ME. FIRST OF ALL, THE BIT ABOUT ME BUYING FLASHBAK JACK AN AMIGA IN
RETURN FOR SEXUAL FAVOURS. WHAT I ACTUALLY SAID TO THE DICK WAS THAT I WAS
GOING TO BUY FLASH AN AMIGA IF HE PLAYTESTED AND DESIGNED SOME LEVELS FOR MY
GAME. HOWEVER, THE DICK MUST HAVE BEEN DAY DREAMING ABOUT BUMMING UP ONE OF HIS
BOYFRIENDS, WHICH IS PROBABLY WHY HE DIDN'T CATCH ALL OF WHAT I WAS
SAYING.......... NOW, THE WORST THING THAT THE DICK SAID WAS THAT I STOLE CODE
FOR STATE OF THE ART! OK, I ADMIT, THE NOISETRACKER REPLAY ROUTINE IS RIPPED,
BUT I ADMIT THAT IN AT LEAST ONE SCROLLER, AND ONLY A FEW PEOPLE USE THEIR OWN
MODULE PLAYERS ANYWAY, BUT APART FROM THAT AND THE GUEST SCREEN, EVERY OTHER
BYTE OF CODE IS ORIGINAL CODE BY ME, ALL THESE PEOPLE THAT THE DICK WAS
SUPPOSEDLY TALKING TO WHO SAID THAT I RIPPED CODE HAD BETTER SORT THEMSELVES
OUT.................. SO, LETS FINISH THIS DICK BUSINESS WITH A SHORT BUT
MEANINGFUL MESSAGE TO THE DICK - I DONT KNOW WHAT YOUR PROBLEM IS, BUT YOU
WANNA SORT OUT YOUR CLOTHES, SORT OUT YOUR HAIRCUT, SORT OUT YOUR SPOTS, SORT
OUT YOUR FACE, SORT OUT YOUR LIFE......... LETS TALK ABOUT SOMETHING
ELSE.......... THE HIDDEN SCREEN IN STATE OF THE ART! THERE ISN'T ONE GUYS,
SORRY TO LET Y'ALL DOWN LIKE THAT, BUT THERES NO HIDDEN SCREEN. I DECIDED TO
OFFICIALLY ANNOUNCE THIS BECAUSE THERE ARE CERTAIN PEOPLE AND PROBABLY A LOT
MORE WHO HAVE WASTED SO MUCH TIME JUMPING UP AND DOWN ON THE MAIN MENU,
PRESSING SPACE IN EVERY POSSIBLE POSITION WHILE IN MID AIR, THINKING THAT THE
FACT THAT THE WIZARD CAN JUMP HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH THE HIDDEN SCREEN.......
THERE MIGHT BE A HIDDEN SCREEN IN OUR NEXT MEGADEMO THOUGH. OK, PEEP THIS - A
GUY CALLED DJ KID (WHO DID THE SAMPLING ON MY FULLSCREEN IN STATE OF THE ART)
ASKED ME TO MAKE A DEMO FOR A CONSOLE SHOP CALLED CES. I AGREED, IF I GOT TWO
FREE MEGADRIVE GAMES. HALF THE DEMO IS FINISHED, AND I DEMANDED ONE GAME NOW OR
ELSE I WOULDN'T FINISH THE DEMO. OF COURSE AFTER DES (THE OWNER OF CES) SAW THE
DEMO HE COULDN'T REFUSE, SO I NOW HAVE SONIC THE HEDGEHOG ON MY MEGADRIVE! BY
THE WAY, I HAVE FINALLY STOPPED DRIVING MY GOLF, I NOW HAVE A BLACK XR3I, SO
THE NEXT TIME YOU SEE ONE DRIVING ROUND LONDON WITH SOME BAD STYLEEE TUNE
COMIN' OUT THE SPEAKERS, IT'LL PROBABLY BE ME AND JACK........ RIGHT THEN, DO
YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY WE MADE HARDCORE DANCEFLOOR AND THIS DEMO? ITS BECAUSE
FLASHBAK JACK, THE DEMON X AND I THINK PURE HARDCORE TECHNO AND HOUSE IS JUST
AMAZING, MAGNUM IS MORE INTO HEAVY METAL. HOWEVER, THE DEMON X IS ALSO VERY
GOOD AT OTHER TYPES OF MUSIC (CHECK OUT OUR GAME WHEN ITS FINISHED). HE'S DONE
SOME MEGADRIVE MUSIC CONVERSIONS AND 2 AMAZING SLAYER CONVERSIONS! YES, HE'S
DONE 2 OF THE BEST THRASH METAL CONVERSIONS EVER ON THE ST, EXPECT TO HEAR AT
LEAST ONE (PROBABLY DIE BY THE SWORD) ON OUR NEXT MEGADEMO, AND I'LL PROBABLY
USE AT LEAST ONE MEGADRIVE TUNE AS WELL, BUT THERE WILL CERTAINLY BE A REALLY
GOOD HARDCORE TECHNO TRACK. THE NEXT TWB DEMO WILL BE THE LONG AWAITED DIGI-
SYNTH 8, WHICH WILL PROBABLY BE CALLED WAVEFORMS. IT'LL BE THE BEST DIGI-SYNTH
YET.............. WELL, THIS IS MY BIT OVER WITH, AND NOW THE MOMENT YOU'VE ALL
BEEN WAITING FOR, FLASHBAK JACKS SCROLLTEXT, DEDICATED TO THE DICK OF SPLIT
INFINITY. BEFORE I GO THOUGH, HERES A MESSAGE TO THE DICK - IF YOU'RE LOOKING
FOR TROUBLE JAMES, YOU'VE FOUND IT, JACK IS NOT THE KINDA PERSON YOU WANNA GO
OFFENDING........I'M OUTTA HERE, HERES THE JACK MAN HIMSELF.........SEE YAS
LATER................. SLAM ANOTHER HARDCORE JAM. YES LADS ITS HERE THE SEQUEL
TO HARDCORE DANCEFLOOR. THIS ONE WASN'T COMING OUT FOR A FEW MONTHS BUT I
PERSUADED POWERMAN TO STYLE IT OUT AND GET IT FINISHED BECAUSE I WANTED TO
WRITE A SCROLLTEXT. WARNING WARNING WARNING THIS NEXT BIT OF SCROLLTEXT IS
CALCULATED TO OFFEND. YO TICK YOU REACHING THIS? I HOPE SO BECAUSE I GONNA
DISTRESS YOU. LET ME TELL YOU A FEW TINGS ABOUT TICK - THE GUYS FAT, DRESSES
LIKE A TRAMP, SMELLS, GOT MORE SPOTS THAN SOMEONE WITH THE MEASELS AND HE'S GOT
A 70'S STYLE HAIR CUT. TICK THAT WAS FOR STARTERS.......IT WAS A BIG MISTAKE
TRYING TO DISTRESS ME. THE TICK SAID I WAS QUEER, BUT TICK IF I'M QUEER WHY I
AM I FUCKING YOU MUM TELL ME THAT EH..........DONT WORRY LADS IT WAS SHIT, ITS
NOT WORTH GOING DOWN THERE FOR A SHAG, BUT IF YOU'RE LUCKY AND GET DOWN TO
KINGS CROSS EARLY ENOUGH YOU MIGHT JUST CATCH HER. IF YOU GO TO VICTORIA
STATION YOU MIGHT FIND HIS GREASY OLD MAN LOOKING AT THE WOMEN OR SELLING HIS
BODY AS A RENT BOY. I DONT KNOW IF THE FAT BASTARD TICK HAS GOT ANY BROTHERS OR
SISTERS SO I CANT CUSS THEM........NOW TICK YOU FAT SHIT, STOP EATING AND READ
THIS......I THINK I'LL STOP CUSSING YOU NOW, HAVE YOU LEARNT YOU'RE LESSON? I
HOPE SO BECAUSE IF YOU HAVEN'T YOU GONNA GET IT GOOD NEXT TIME. FAT BOY YOU
STARTED THIS AND I'M FINISHING IT. I THINK I'LL LEAVE IT AT THAT FOR NOW TICK
BUT IF YOU CUSS ME AGAIN I WONT JUST BE CUSSING YOU.......................
ANYONE GO TO THE LIVING DREAM RAVE? IT WAS MENTAL, IF YOU MISSED IT YOU ARE A
MUG. BIG SHOUT GOING OUT TO SIMON G, GAVEN P AND JAMES P. JAMES, MESSAGE -
FUCK COMPTON. ANYWAY TIME TO GO, I'VE SAID MY PIECE.......IF TICK TRIES IT
AGAIN, BOY, HE IS GONNA GET IT. LATER HERE'S POWERMAN...............OK THANKS A
LOT JACK, HEY TICK YOU TESTED US, YOU'VE SEEN WHAT WE CAN DO, NEXT TIME IT'LL
BE A LOT MORE THAN A FEW RETURN SLAGGINGS..........WHILE WE'RE ABOUT IT, HOW
ABOUT SLAGGING OF THE SPY OF THE UNTOUCHABLES..........HEY SPY, DONT PLAY ME
COS YOU DONT KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GETTING YOURSELF INTO.....JUST TO GIVE YOU A
TASTE, I'M GONNA COAT YOU WITH SOME NASTY WORDS BOYEEE..........WHY SEND ME A
REALLY SHIT ENTERPRISE LOGO MAN? WHY, THE TING WAS CRAP! WHY SAY YOU'RE INTRO
IS MORE PROFESSIONAL THAN MINE, ITS NOT PROFESSIONAL TO RIP OTHER PEOPLES CODE.
WHY SAY ITS BETTER MAN? AT LEAST ALL MY CODE IS ORIGINAL, AT LEAST I DONT TEEF
UP OTHER PEOPLES WORK............YO SPY YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A LITTLE SHIT HEAD,
IF I EVER MEET YOU I SWEAR I WILL KICK THE SHIT WELL AND TRULY OUT OF
YOU..........I FEEL SORRY FOR YOUR PARENTS GUY, I BET THEY CALLED YOU JETHRO
BECAUSE THEY HATE YOU SO MUCH.........HEY SPY, YOU'RE A FUCKIN ARSEHOLE WHO
HASN'T GOT A CLUE ABOUT RESPECT, DONT TEST ME OR I'LL SMASH YOUR TEETH SO FAR
DOWN YOUR THROAT YOU'LL HAVE TO STICK A TOOTHBRUSH UP YOUR ARSE TO CLEAN
EM............ OK ENOUGH COATING, I'M JUST GOING TO FINISH OFF THIS SCROLLTEXT
AND GET OUTTA HERE......... I'M NOW LISTENING TO A TAPE WITH SOME BAD TUNES ON
IT, FLASHBAK JACK MADE IT FOR ME - ITS GOT LIQUID SWEET HARMONY (AND THE
REMIX), ALTERN 8 EVAPOR-8, FREQUENCY AND ARMOURGEDDON, PLUS LOADS MORE AWSOME
TUNES.........OK I GOTTA CRUISE, SEE YA'LL IN THE NEXT TWB MEGADEMO (OR DIGI-
SYNTH 8 WHICH WILL PROBABLY BE OUT SOONER). SORRY TO ANYONE WHO WAS OFFENED BY
THE SCROLLER (EXCEPT THE TICK AND SPY OF COURSE, WE MEAN TO OFFEND THEM).
BEFORE I CHILL I'D JUST LIKE TO SAY THAT THERE WILL BE NO MORE SLAGGING FROM
US, I THINK TICK AND SPY HAVE HAD ENOUGH, AND SO HAVE I. IF ANYONE WANTS TO
SLAG US THEN GO AHEAD, WE'LL JUST IGNORE YOU LIKE WE SHOULD HAVE DONE WITH TICK
AND SPY........... JUST ONE LAST MESSAGE TO THE TICK AND SPY - GUYS, WHY ARE
YOUR LIVES SO BORING THAT YOU HAVE TO GO SLAGGING US FOR NO REASON JUST FOR A
BIT OF FUN. YOU GUYS REALLY ARE PRETTY SORRY, AND THATS NOT A CUSS, ITS A
FACT.................. CHECK YA'LL LATER................

------------------------------------------------------------

Article by TWB in Ledgers 11

<< Coding tips from Powerman of TWB, part 6271438483643138
-------------------------------------------------------

Proper tips this time, not like the previous coding tips article I did.
But first some general bullshat.......I've just finished coding the intro
to the next Wild Boys megademo......the demo will be called Reactiv-8,
there is a reason for this so get the demo when its released to find out
why....its a pretty good intro, 1300 vectorballs with 16khz sound, great
graphics, wicked music by TDX, this will be a demo to blow your
mind......anyway enough of the sales pitch (not that this demo will be
sold, it'll be public domain of course..). There might be an intro by me
on this disk, or on a previous issue of Ledgers. I'm talking about my 50hz
3d demo anyway, which I coded after seeing TUC's intro for Ledgers 9 (read
my scrolltext for the full story....). I got a disk from Spy yesterday with
a really crap Enterprise logo on it as well as a DOC file called APOLOGY.
Some apology, it started by saying how badly coded the Wild Demo was, how
he hates the way TWB show off and how we think everything we do is the
best! He also talked about how much better his intro was to mine. Hey
spy, your intro may have had two parts and digi-drums, but my 3d is bigger
which means my 3d routs are faster than yours (or Argonauts to be more
precise but let me make it clear that I'm not having a go at Argonaut, just
the spy), oh and spy I think you left out one small detail: Argonauts 3d
routs are ripped, mine aint so suck on that you son of a butch. Now, before
we get on with this article proper, a word about all the boasting in TWB
demos: anyone who takes it seriously is an idiot, its only a bit of fun but
we do have every right to boast as well: we were at least the second
British crew to beat the Carebears fullscreen (if you include the Wow
scroller in the Decade demo, which some might say is better than the TCB
one), we have also produced the best megademo for a single coder, State Of
The Art was almost a one coder demo (I did everything except the guest
screen and soundtrack rout). But we dont really care what anyone thinks
about the boasting, they are our demos and we'll say what the bloody hell
we like no matter what anyone thinks of us...........incase some of you
think that TWB are a bit out of line with all the recent cussing between us
and the tick and the spy, let me say that TWB members are great guys, we
didn't start any of the wars and have never slagged off another crew unless
they have done it to us first.

........

Before the next tip lets have a bit of bullshat........ok do you know what
The Ticks top ten records are? Before I tell you, I better let you know
that the Tick has a bit, well, quite a bit of a weight problem........hey
Tick, have you tried Slimfast? Ok his top ten records are.....

1. KLF - What time is lunch?
2. Right Said Fred - I'm too fat.
3. Michael Jackson - Eat it.
4. 808 State - In your fat face.
5. Shamen - Move my fat butt.
6. Betty Boo - Doin the fat doo.
7. Technotronic featuring Ya Kid K - Rockin over my belly.
8. DJ Fats - Eat it up.
9. EMF - Unbelievably fat.
10. Pavoroti - Nessun Dorma.

........

Now lets have Ticks top ten films.......

1. AWOF - Absent without food.
2. Big Man.
3. Wanted: Dead or Alive.
4. Cannibal Fever.
5. Cookie.
6. The Thing.
7. Manhunter.
8. Misery.
9. Nightmare On Fat Street.
10. The Blob.

And lastly his top ten tv progs.......

1. Poridge.
2. The Cook Report.
3. Lunchtime News.
4. Masterchef.
5. Eggs N Baker.
6. Sumo.
7. Rosanne.
8. Jim'll Fix It (although he certainly wont be fixing Ticks problem).
9. Who's Fat Butt Is It Anyway?
10. Eatenders.

Ok a quick message to poor Tick - incase we have offended you I'd just like
to say - HAAAHAAAHAAAA you fat bostard! Serves you right........hehehe
hahaha! >>

-------------------------------------------------------------

Article by Powerman on scrolltext writing in Ledgers 11

<< Scrolltext writing, by the Man of Power, The Powerman
-----------------------------------------------------

Hey yo check it one time, this is an article on how to chat, if y'all wanna
liven up your scrolltexts use some of these words, especially if you're a
boring shit like spy....

PEEP DIS - Phrase used a lot by the Fresh prince, means listen
carefully to what I'm about to say.

RESPECT TO THAT (or just RESPECT) - means, erm, respect.....

CHECK IT - means nothing, just a couple of words you use when you
cant think of anything else to write.

LISTEN UP Y'ALL - used when you wish to draw you audiences attention to a
matter of international importance.

HERE WE GO Y'ALL - used to signal the start of a scroller and the
beginning of the journey upon which you and your
audience are about to embark.

Scrolltext end phrases
----------------------

Now, here are some scrolltext endings for you, if you're fed up with the
old LETS WRAP, or LETS WARP (why the hell do people even say that?), LETS
LOOP etc......try some of these:

OVER AND OUT - means your over and out, so you wont be writing anymore
text, signalling the end of the scroller and the subsequent
returning to the start.

CHILL OUT - means stop reading this boring scroller and chill....

I'M OUTTA HERE, LATER - means the scrolltext writer is pissed off, and is
getting 'outta here' (leaving the room) to do
something more relaxing than scrolltext
writing....the 'later' implies that the scrolltext
writer will infact return to his computer and write
more scrolltext later.

WE OUTTA HERE, LATERS - see above, except the LATERS is used instead of
LATER as a certain number of people are leaving the
room (see the WE at the start), LATERS implies that
more than one person will return and write some
more scrolltext.

CHECK Y'ALL LATER - implies that you will be returning to the keyboard
later, leaving your audience in incredible suspense
as they wait for your next scrolltext.

Ok thats it as far as words are concerned, dont use them too much or you'll
start to sound like me or Jack.......and you dont want that do you?

Before I go, heres some words from a song I heard on Kiss FM - Its taking
the piss out of a tune called Toms Diner, so sing this song with a ragga
stylee accent, to the tune of Toms Diner...

I was standing in the corner, searching for my Rizzla

I had some Marawana, I needed to get higher

So I went up to the corner with my Rizzla and my gunja, built another
spliff until I was totally out of my head........da da daa da,da da daa da,
da da daa da da da daa da.....

It might not sound that funny, you have to hear it for yourself which is
why I might sample it for Dreamzone (our megademo!).......see ya's next
time...

-------------------------------------------------------------

Article by 7T7 of The Pixel Twins in Ledgers 11.

<< 7T7 HAS A GO
7T7 of the Pixel Twins hits out.

It has come to my attention that certain people in the demo scene have
been slagging off our routines. I won't mention any names, but Powerman (or
whoever does his scollers) has to be the biggest arsehole around.
Firstly, the Highlander has had his sync scroll routines criticised by
Powerman, who said that they were so many clock cycles slower than his
ones. Well, the Highlander didn't know exactly how many clock cycles long
his routine was, he just knew that it was so many scanlines faster then his
previous one. If the Powerman knows exactly how many clock cycles the
Highlander's routine runs at, then he must have tried to rip it for
himself. It's obviously a lot better then his older sync scroll routine
that came out just after the release of the Lost Boys Mindbomb source which
included a sync scroll routine on the disk. (What a coincidence Powerman.)
Another thing that the Powerman has been going on about is DML's 3D.
Well hell's bells Powerman, at least DML can do larger ojects then you at
50 frames a second on a normal ST. I hear that you and the rest of your
bunch have gone down to the Amiga. Well at least with all those custom
chips that it has, you might be able to do something that looks faster than
the 3D that you do at the moment. Why not try and do some light sourced 3D
like DML did in the Stupendous demo, or how about some fill patterns as
well?? Our next demo will have 3D shapes with fill patterns in. Oh yes, it
will be done in STOS and the 3D is 100% by DML. And even in STOS, it will
still be faster then the stuff that you do in assembly. (When I say the
stuff that you do, I really mean the stuff that you rip from everybody
else.)
Stick to the kind of writing that you're good at. The kind that needs a
crayon.
We do demos to entertain, we don't do them for spotty merchants like
you to to critise. Just wait until you see the next project. Try and take
the piss out of that if you want to look really bad, and a lot sadder then
you already do.

---------------------------------------------------------

Response and more stuff by Powerman in Ledgers 12

<< A vaguely interesting artcile by someone called Powerman...
-----------------------------------------------------------

.....

Its 8 July 1992, tomorrow me and Jack (and some of our aunts, uncles,
parents etc....the whole posse) are going to Spain, so I'm quite bored
today seeing as I've done my packing, theres shit on TV and I've looked at
all my new demos.......so I resorted to reading back issues of Ledgers.
They were quite good, even if I had already read them.....I came across an
article by some cheif about his top 10 demos and news about the demo world
so I thought I'd do an article like that.......but first something about
our trip to Spain.......the last time we went, I was doing Spanish at
school, so everyone kept asking me how to say stuff in Spanish......now I
saw this as an opportunity to have some fun......when asked how to say 'one
coffee with milk' I would tell them to say - Soy un caballo.....I'm not
sure if thats what I said, its been a long time, but anyway I told them to
say I AM A HORSE (but in Spanish of course) (I think it means I AM A HORSE,
I'm not that sure.....). The only problem was I couldn't keep a straight
face and they sussed me out.....I would have liked to tell them to swear in
Spanish but they dont teach you that in GCSE Spanish.......I'm looking
forward to going to the Aquapark, its well good, theres a massive water
slide which is about 40 feet high and goes straight down at an angle of
about 50 degrees! Not only that, but the women walk around topless, and
not old women either! I'm talking 20 year old tanned flesh,
everywhere....... not that I'm a perv or anything, but you cant help
looking especially when they walk infront of you with no warning.....

Ok, lets talk about demos, here are my top 10 demos of all time: (they
aren't based on technical excellence, just whether or not I like watching
them).

1. Cuddly demo - This was a classic, its old but for its time was
really amazing....
2. Ooh Crikey what a Scorcher - I think this demo speaks for itself!
3. Decade demo - Great count zero chip and Quartet music really made
this demo stand out...
4. Hardcore Dancefloor - Yes, I know its one of mine but the music
is really amazing if your into hardcore
stuff like me...
5. Punish Your Machine - Loads of screens in this demo by all the
best crews, enough said....
6. Mindbomb - Again, for its time this was a great demo...
7. State Of The Art - You might think I'm being biased but I dont
care, I still load up this demo now and then
and I like it!
8. Slam - The music is a bit too hardcore for me, thats why this demo
is number 8, but I still like it....
9. Stupendous demo - Even though I haven't seen the STE screens,
what I have seen is pretty nice....
10. Pandemonium - For the 3d textured polygons.....

Some other demos I like are Energy For You, European demos, Light Speed,
Lifes a bitch, Union demo, Overdrive, Dark Side of the Spoon......

...........

Top Five Coders
--------------

Ok I'll tell you who I think are the 5 best coders on the ST, I wont
mention myself anywhere because it will cause problems, especially if I put
myself above someone else and they start slagging me....

1. Nick of TCB - Haven't seen much from this guy lately but hey, he
invented hardware scrolling on the ST, thats enough
for me.....
2. Ziggy of OVR - Because of his 3d...
3. The Fate - Have you seen Dark Side of the Spoon? This guy is
also pretty good at chip music...
4. Gunstick - See above (scrap the chip music bit)
5. Manikin - Because of his fractal main menu...

Top 5 Musicians
---------------

1. Count Zero - Not suprising really, I think his chip music beats
everyone elses and the music on Things Not To Do is
one of my all-time favourites.
2. The Demon X - So he's a TWB member, but the reason I took him
onboard was because of his amazing talent at
reproducing hardcore soundtracks almost perfectly.
3. Mad Max - These days his tunes are getting very similar, but
in the old days I loved his music...
4. An Cool - See the M Demo 3 review above!
5. Nexus - Wait for our game and megademo to see why!

.......

Tsk....just realised, tommorrow is the last day I'll get to drive my car
for 2 weeks, unless when we get to spain Jack can teef us up a car so we
can go joyriding......

------------------------------------------------------

.... Oh yeah, I also got a letter from Argonaut saying he didn't want to
keep slagging me so I'm going to write to him and tell him I feel the same
way, so TWB are not enemies with anyone, and never again will we get
involved with any type of slagging..... its just such a waste....... while
reading Ledgers 11 I noticed two artciles about me, one by some guy of the
Unknowns (the Pascal thing) and another by 7T7. This guy from the Unknowns
is obviosly a very disturbed person, I dont know what his problem is, I
dont even know the guy, but whatever he's got against me I wish he would
come out with it and not write childish articles about stabbing me up and
shit.......and now what about this artcile by 7T7? Let me say something to
this guy - the only reason I criticised Highlanders sync scroller by saying
it wasted about 17000 cycles just waiting in a loop was because he said I
boast about my sync scroller.......this was not true (and even if it was,
he has no right to say such a thing). All I've said is that my sync
scroller takes no more than 10 lines, I've never said 'my sync scroller is
faster than yours' to anyone, that would be boasting.....and 7T7 also
questions how I know my sync scroller is faster than Highlanders, he says I
must have ripped Highlanders routine! Hey 7T7, Highlander released the
source to his sync scroller on Ledgers, so no mate, I didn't rip it (what a
fool....). 7T7 also said it was a bit of a coincidence that I had a sync
scroller shortly after the Mindbomb demo was released.......well if this
guy had half a brain he'd know (because I've said this on several
occasions) that TLB sent me their sync scroller, I studied it and wrote my
own routine which was twice as fast, the only similarity between my rout
and Manikins was that they both use the same technique (removing different
border combinations to create different offsets), which is a technique
every sync scroller uses so dont think I stole it from TLB or anything.....
probably the most serious accusation made by 7T7 was about me criticising
the 3d routs of one of the Pixel Twins...... the reason this accusation is
so serious is because its untrue, I've never criticised any Pixel Twins
3d.... ever...... and now I'd just like to say something - if anyone writes
anymore of these stupid articles like 7T7 did, I wont waste my time
defending myself, because you're not worth it....

Well, thats all I've got to say about these people, I'm not going to start
slagging them or anything, they just aren't worth it........ a message to
everyone reading this: if you don't like me, or any other TWB member, or
any of our demos etc.....just keep it to yourself, if you slag us you'll
just make yourself look bad. We make demos because its fun, admittedly our
two previous megademos gave us the image of people with bad attitudes, who
thought we were the worlds best, but we didn't expect people to take so
much notice of the scrollers, we were having a great laugh while writing
the scrolltexts, we expected the readers of these scrollers to laugh as
well.......

So, I'll just finish this business with these words - I dont appreciate
being slagged off, especially for things I didn't do, but I'm not going to
be offended by it, I just feel sorry for the people who write it. If
anyone has a problem with me or my demos or anything, write to me and tell
me what you dont like, dont write stupid articles for Ledgers and hope I
read it.... And remember, all the boasting and showing off and other stuff
in our scrollers is all just a laugh, we dont think the Wild Demo is even
lame, its below that, and I dont think State Of The Art is amazing, my
serious opinion is that its good, I'd give it 80%, when you consider we had
no gfx guy, no musician, one coder who did nearly everything, with no
help, in just 6 months, on a 1 meg ST, with only 1 drive, in hot
weather.......and it was started about 18 months ago, you have to remember
what the demo scene was like then......

Ok enough of this serious talk, I'm looking for good guest screens for our
megademo, so please write to this address if you want to do one (or for any
other reason, if its a slagging letter then I'll just burn it up.

The Wild Boys/TWB/Powerman/Neil/Mr Powerman/Power (CHOOSE ONE!)

131 Gunnersbury Avenue
Acton
London
W3 8LE
England >>


That sounds like a fairly good note to end our nomination on.


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