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Pork Issue 05
p O r k
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.dSSSSSP' `˝&$$$P' .dSSSSSP'.dSSSSSP' .dSSSSSP' `˝&$$$P' .dSSSSSP'.sdSSSs.
.d$$$$$P' misfit .d$$$$$P'.d$$$$$P' .d$$$$$P' .d$$$$$P'.d$$$$$P'
`˝&$$$P' iesus! `˝&$$$Pb.d$$$$$P' `˝&$$$P'.:::::::::.`˝&$$$P' `˝&$$$P'
::: $˝˝˝˝˝$`:::
pOrk five baby.. ::: $sdPs, ::::
"surplus beaver pelts ::::...`˝&)`:::
and spam!" uhh.. yeah. :::'.ssss˝'.::: el pOrko cinco.
::::::::::::::: suck my juevos.
∞ ---(pOrk 5! there is a god!)------------------------------------------------ ∞
yes, yes, calm down. pOrk 5 is here. thanks so much for taking three seconds
out of your day to download it :). uhm, yeah. this is weird. i guess i'm
just in a writing mood today, because this is the second issue i've done all
day (dunno if i'll finish this one today though). anyway..hey, dig that zany
pOrk header up there, compliments of yours truly. uh huh.
∞ ---(hey, swell)------------------------------------------------------------- ∞
well, shit. i got this far and i can't really think of anything to write on.
fuck.. hey, here's a plan. i'm gonna rip off an idea done a million times a
day and do a daily journal to show everyone how pathetic my life is (i think
we zine people do it for the sympathy vote, i dunno.) anyway, here goes..
∞ ---(diarrhea cha cha cha)--------------------------------------------------- ∞
5:14 am - i'm immersed in some dream, totally content with myself.
5:15 am - i hear an annoying beeping noise, which sounds vaguely like one of
those construction vehicles backing up. i slowly wake up and realize that my
alarm clock is going off. i reach over and slam the snooze button, allowing
myself another seven minutes to sleep. the alarm goes off again, and i pound
the snooze button again. sometimes this goes on for an hour or more.
6:00 am - i'm finally awake and realize that i have to be at the bus stop in
forty five minutes. i stand up, throw on the same clothes i wore yesterday,
and trudge downstairs to put my two dogs out before they urinate on the rug.
6:10 am - the dogs are drained and fed, and i decide whether or not to take
a shower (and hey, most of the time, i do). i hop in the shower, sit down,
and fall asleep for another fifteen minutes, until the water gets cold.
6:30 am - i get dressed, brush my teeth, take a leak, and go downstairs to
eat a couple of blueberry pop tarts, and watch the first half of tiny toons.
6:45 am - i am now freezing my ass off, because it's winter and i'm standing
apart from the other kids because they annoy me and no one's talking except
for this retarded kid who talks to himself and reeks of fish.
6:50 am - i'm on the bus and, lucky me, i'm the first stop on the driver's
route, and he drives like 10 miles an hour. so, i sit on the bus for a half
an hour.
7:30 am - i'm standing in the halls before homeroom, hanging out with all my
other punk friends.
7:40 am - 1:15pm - school sucks.
1:20 pm - lunch. it's 'hamburger on roll' day. yahoo. i think i'll go vege-
tarian.
1:50 pm - 2:35pm - school sucks.
3:00 pm - i finally get home and check my answering machine. 2 messages, one
from my girlfriend telling me to call her when i get home, and the other one
is from my mom telling me i'd better to the goddamn dishes or there's gonna
be trouble.
3:20 pm - my girlfriend calls again, and she's pissed because i didn't call
her back. i go over to her house and we fuck around for awhile.
4:50 pm - i rush home, because i have to be at work in ten minutes, and i've
got to get dressed.
5:20 pm - i'm late for work. bitch bitch bitch. that's all they ever do.
9:00 pm - i come home, and this time ive got like ten messages on my machine
from friends. "james, its trip, call me bitch." "hi james, this is teresa.
gimme a call when you get in. i love you, bye." "yo, james, its rob. gimme a
call man." "james, its teresa again. what time do you get off work anyway? i
love you, bye." etc.. etc.. etc..
9:30 pm - i call everyone back. teresa's not home, trip's at wrestling, robs
line is busy, etc.. etc.. etc..
10:30 pm - i boot up the computer and call around. i get on irc, and usually
stay there the rest of the night unless someone calls or i go out (i don't
watch much tv).
1:00 am - i'm starting to get tired. my eyes hurt from looking at my monitor
so i'm lying on my bed reading an anne rice book or something.
2:00 am - i fall asleep listening to L7 or sonic youth or something.
5:14 am - i'm immersed in some dream, totally content with myself...
and that's pretty much it.
∞ ---(hey, wow)--------------------------------------------------------------- ∞
anyway, i'm done. member list time.
guys who do shit for pOrk :
misfit the big cheese
cypherhex not so big cheese
scribble not so big cheese
trip not so big cheese
∞ ---(distros?)--------------------------------------------------------------- ∞
yup, pOrk has distros now. i figured 'hey, what the fuck? its not gonna hurt
me any' so here they are. i'll be damned if i know the numbers to these BBSs
but i'm sure you're all 3l33t and you can find em. w0rd.
board : zyzop guy:
alderaan mindcrime
avalon belial
birdhouse projekts devine styler
erebus hooch
evil intentions betrayer
illegal immigrants trip
if you want a distro, find me and you'll probably get one. cool? cool.
∞ ---(how can i find you?)---------------------------------------------------- ∞
on one of the above boards (well, most of em anyway) or call my vmb :
800-256-6269 box 7543. cool? cool.
∞ ---(da end babeeeee)-------------------------------------------------------- ∞
seeya later masturbator.
(eof)SAUCE00its pOrk baby. whack off to it. pOrk people 19951117˘Pì
