9 toxic dynamics that lead to the end of a relationship
Unfortunately, relationships of love can end, you have to make it a reason, even those couples that seem very strong and inseparable, in reality can reach the break.
When a love story often ends up remaining it is only a great sense of powerlessness, so much sadness and in some cases a strong resentment. Usually when one of the two people decides to put an end to a love there is little to do, yet behind this choice there are always reasons.
The end of a relationship
Each story has its reasons, since it is personal. Many couples are separated because of inconvenient third parties. In fact, when there is a third person, it is very easy to understand within the couple. He changes. Times change and words also change. We start talking less and often the sexual life also becomes latent. But others are not the cause of the end of a love.
Many times feelings change and love turns into affection and friendship. We no longer see each other as before, when it was at the center of our thoughts. Now we find much easier to look at others, in the desire to meet new people and new children. This is indicative of a finished love. Even the desire to spend time together ends.
We start a new way of seeing the story and at this point it is better to finish it because otherwise things could only get worse. Here are the most insidious dynamics and how to avoid them
10 insane dynamics that undermine the relationship
In addition to learning how to make love last, therefore, we also need to prevent negative dynamics from developing. In most cases, they are not great cataclysms that cause the passion to fade, but small, bad habits and negative tendencies creep in, weakening the relationship. For example…
1) Laziness
And by this I do not mean the scarce, if any, desire to enroll in the gym or to wear running shoes and do two complete laps of the park: indolence in a relationship becomes much more serious when it makes us believe that we are "feeling good "And to feel" at ease ", even though the fireworks are long over and no one seems interested in turning them on again. What happens then? Literally, you sit on the relationship, which in turn flows like a long, calm river, with no particular jolts but no peaks of unrestrained happiness. But love does not accept indifference.
How to counter it: putting in place a routine that is good for the couple, even if it costs a little effort.
2) Individual egoisms
They are always wanting to be right or claiming that their needs are always supported, excluding the possibility of reaching a compromise and regardless of the partner's needs: the classic "let's do as I say". When they end up prevailing over common projects, they undermine them to the foundations and the couple collapses.
How to counter them: with dialogue, and establishing a rule of equity, of the type: once you, once me.
3)
Jealousy
To a certain extent it can even be a symptom of the couple's good health, but more often it becomes a destructive impulse, which has its roots in insecurity and fear of the abandonment of those who try it, weakening trust between partners. Victims of jealousy are mainly those of the former partners. According to a survey carried out by the club for singles Eliana Monti 59% of the interviewees closed a report for this reason.
How to counter it: by lucidly evaluating the situation. If he is with you and not with her, there will be a reason: it didn't work.
4) Always stay together
At first you want to spend a lot of time together, on any occasion. Thus - in addition to annoying friends, who can no longer see us if not "accompanied" - we risk getting used to a symbiotic bond, in which individual spaces are missing, and sooner or later the feeling of asphyxiation arrives. Furthermore, the lack of individual spaces leads to losing sight of oneself and one's personal goals, with the result that slowly the partner will no longer see the person he fell in love with.
What to do: strive to take time for oneself, to cultivate one's interests and friendships; and then you know: being alone every now and then keeps the desire alive!
5) Lack of sincerity
Whether they are big or small lies towards the partner or lack of honesty towards one's desires, thoughts, needs, feelings. In the first case, if lies are discovered, a flaw is formed in the fabric of trust and it is easy for it to spread, until it is torn. In the second, you risk finding yourself living a relationship that you don't want.
What to do: look inside; reflect before acting, wondering if our actions will lead us to lie.
6) Always avoid conflict
Sometimes we turn a blind eye to the partner's attitudes and behaviors that annoy or hurt us. But if you don't tackle the subject for fear of quarreling, then you risk exploding like a pressure cooker, causing more damage.
What to do: learn to calmly discuss and transform conflict into an opportunity for growth by adopting smart litigation strategies.
7) Assume instead of asking and listening
It is when we expect to be in the mind of the partner, to know exactly how he feels, what he is thinking, what he wants and what he needs, how he will behave. Maybe wrong.
What to do: try to listen to the partner beyond the image - sometimes stereotyped - that we have made ourselves, and prefer direct and sincere communication.
8) Think of not making it on your own
Often there is a tendency to base one's whole life on the partner; one relies on and relies on the other. The result is that in this way a bond of dependency is triggered so that we can no longer see ourselves as individuals, but only as part of a couple, and in which our individual growth risks becoming stuck, lying on the security that "there is so much X ". It should never be forgotten that a couple is made up of two independent people.
What to do: sometimes ask yourself "what would I do if there were no Y" and do it.
9) Interference
Don't put your finger between husband and wife. And if the mother-in-law puts her own mind, even the partners are sometimes negatively influenced by friends and relatives, who instill doubts. But only the couple really knows what the relationship is like, so it is only up to the couple to make decisions and take stock of the situation.
How to counter them: thanking for advice, but striving to always think for yourself.
But why is it so difficult to engage with others?
Because commitment requires sacrifice, renunciation, ability to give oneself without expecting anything in return, use of personal resources in favor of the other, altruism and absence of selfishness, dedication, availability, openness to dialogue, complicity, affection, emotional participation, presence , empathy.
In short, love: that is, the feeling of an indefinable fact, but which brings together all these things, that feeling that only those who manage to open themselves to it can really feel. In this regard I would like to invite you to read the article "How to build a healthy and lasting relationship"
Source:https://psicoadvisor.com/9-caratteristiche-tossiche-che-portano-alla-fine-di-una-relazione-2707.html
