Mimeograph Issue 05
Intro
well, here we are again, this time it's mimeograph number 5, not a whole lot has changed, it's still hard as hell to get people to write for this.although, i'm glad to see some new faces in this issue, sinister 6000 has graced us with his presence, after calling mimeo total trash a few monthsago, after i released my first issue.
this will be a interesting issue, as i have hidden something that i was originally asked not to have in here. it is up to you to find it, this decision was made after a talk with an un-named anonymoutitical person.
not a lot has really been happening scene wise (or atleast stuff that i know about), surprising since it's the summer. so i invite everyone to take part in a compo (oOoo ahhhh), yes that is correct, a compotition in the art of ascii doodling, it will include new school and old school if there is enough competitors. to find out more about this extravangaza, click on over to http:/mimeograph.mimic.ca, there should be info up there in a few days.
thats all i really want to say in the intro, i'm currently sick as a motherfuck. i'm more plugged up than a queer on gay pride day. having a sinus infection, as well as bronchititus has kept me rather out of commission the past few days. but tally-ho.
From the journal
From the journal - by Neil
In retrospect, I'd have to say that creative writing class would by most accounts be the worst crap in all the land. The class had a near endless supply of people whose idiosyncracies (i'm trying to be nice, that's about as nice as I can get) to this very moment bounce off of the insides of my skull. There were five (five!) stereotypical cheerleader type of girls, who weredubbed 'the shiny girls' some years back. I'm not quite sure of the origin of the name, but rumours ranging from it referencing the various assortments of polyvinyl plastic clothes they wear to the slightly more venomous idea that they are easily distracted by shiny things, all seem somewhat plausible to me.
There were a couple of highlights. There was a bodybuilder, Ryan, who took the course presumably to get a mandatory english credit without actually having to do english class, who was probably the smartest person in theclass, merely by the fact that he blatantly stole nearly every story he wrote from contemporary action movies. He wrote his year end story as a combination of two parts 'The Rock' and one part 'Soldier', starring Kurt Russell as a robotic soldier of fortune (according to the commericals). When asked to read parts of the story aloud to the class, he managed to actually lift an entire passage of dialogue verbatim from the former movie. When I asked him about it later, he was laughing his ass off, and saying what a joke the class was. He also wrote a story about an navy commander who, at one point, falls down some stairs. When asked if he's okay, the commander blames his tumble on the plans of a sea crab. When it's pointed out to him that there aren't any sea crabs around, he remarks that it would figure, as "the tricky bastards usually work in pairs." I actually collapsed on the ground into quasi-epileptic fits of laughter when I heard that line. (I just recently found out that the crux of that play was taken from the film 'Hot Shots!' starring your favourite teen heartthrob and mine, Charlie Sheen. -- Ed. {Neil} )
Anyway, all of this has basically been building up to an excerpt from my journal. Basically, the teacher was so impressed by the fact I could use not one but BOTH of my opposable thumbs that she threw marks at me. I did my best to counter by writing very bad work. There was no change in my mark. I stopped handing things in in march, and by june I was still getting an 80. That being said, here is a journal entry I wrote. It is written of the style of someone who is mildly retarded.
There is a chinese cowboy in my neighborhood. I see him walking the streets near my house every now & again. Sometimes he takes my bus. He wears a cowboy hat. The chinese cowboy is a well kempt man of about 50 or with a slender fu-manchu style moustache and beard combo. He also wears thick spectacles. I would like to get a picture of him before I move out of Scarborough, because I think without it people will think that I have made him up.
I have heard from some people that the chinese cowboy is out of his mind and insane. That's a funny expresson. Regardless, I was told that atsome point he turned a hose on some kids on my street for no good reason. I also heard that he attacks people, but I don't know if that's true or not.
The chinese cowboy is okay in my books, just as long as he doesn't wear leather chaps.
Something to read
anyway.. all the b.s. aside, this month hasn't been very eventful.
rippa was appointed senior.. he quit.. polygon threatened to quit..retribution was kicked out..
hey. Good.
fuck them. You know why? because i fucking said so.
rippa killed legacy, and all of a sudden he's made senior by black jack.. after reviewing the facts for about, 30 seconds.. I stumbled uponthe startling fact that I am in fact.. a senior.
AMAZING.
was in informed? no.Was i told of the news after it had happened?no. .. what about the next day?
.. no.
I found out 2 days later.
so, fuck that.
polygon is a gif2ansi using ripping fag.He should have been kickedout a long time ago.
and retribution? he asked to be kicked.Now he's throwing a hissyfit because i actually did it.
fuck him.
Jeff doesnt trust me..hell, why should he? i've only tried toimprove mimic for the few months i've been a senior. I've onlygotten countless people to join. I've only tried to actually get things done, as opposed to other seniors in the group who shall remain nameless. One of them quit, and the others handlerhymes with bel negro.. well, kinda.
All of that aside, because i want to get rid of members who haventdone anything in a long time.. Named discyple.
he doesnt trust me.
fuck that.
Hax0r b0yz
here i am with a sinus infection and bronchititus, as most of you know, from hearing me try to get sympathy on irc (pathetic i know), this may be a long thing or it may not be, i have not decided yet. it really depends on how many times i have to blow my nose, because that can really break a guys concentration. without further adeu, i present a story of the time a wheel chair got stolen from the mall.
it was a average day, and the newly formed hacking group needed something to do, since their first meeting was unexpectantly cutshort by the closing of the cafe they had chosen earlier. to the mall they exclaimed in unisen(sp) !! the mall in their small town was extreemly boring, with the shaping of a Y you always had to turn around when you got to the end, which can make you look quite the fool. imagine seeing 3 guys walk to the end, turn around and start walking back, i would have laughed if i saw them. so here's thesituation, one went outside while the other two brought a wheelchair to the doors, as if someone was getting out of a car. the one waiting outside eagerly jumped in the chair, and proceeded to drool, and talk with a bad, almost unrecognizable slur, throwing in the occasional gibberish. they got all sorts of looks from passers by, but nonetheless continued throughout the mall. when they explored every corner in the mall, they decided that they would leave, but not without the wheelchair, it would make for some interesting fun downtown. hiding the "Property of ****** ****** Mall" on the back of the wheelchair with their backpacks, they headed out to theparking lot. home free!!
the journey downtown took a while, as no one was really good at operating this contraption, and no one wanted to push, unless it was pushing down a hill it seems. after falling off the wheelchair, hax0r boy #2 shouts "IT'S A MIRACLE!! I CAN WALK!!", which drew numerous ammounts of cheering, and laughing from the skids nearby. once downtown, the hax0rs purchased twenty-five dollars of marijuana, and threw the wheelchair into the river, and it was never to be seen again. hax0r boy #1 got in trouble that night because hax0r boy #3 stayed the night, and decided to break up the weed on his trusty mouse pad. thus making the whole downstairs smell of ganja.
the end
Elevate
Eh. Hi. Guess what's back? Elevate! With a bang. Elevate quickly died off after the first release due to member losses and submittion loses, but now I've decided to restart the group with old members that still draw and new ones that do.
Elevate is about making artist's better, if you are interested in joining Elevate, send me some mail at revolution@mimic.ca.
If you wanna help out some artists, whether it be a tutorial, or a joint, send me some mail again to revolution@mimic.ca.
Elevate #2 should be out in about a week. Look forward to it.
- revolution//mmc
Quotes
*** Topic is 'Gould is at work right now, you could message him all kinds ofbullshit'
*** Set by fever on Fri Jul 09 00:27:44
((jeffcreep)) Some kid came into BBV, asked for the washroom key.. so Ihooked him up.((jeffcreep)) ..anyways, Janine went to get the key from him, since he hadgone & she wanted to go.((jeffcreep)) ..so like, she goes into the washroom, and the kid has pissedEVERYWHERE
((jeffcreep)) all over the seat, the floor..((jeffcreep)) It was the only time I thanked god that I had a cash register.
((G0AT)) [ssixk] .pagl-ki31;ln12k512309xsgfnmxnz.,mna'qwerp[oi149gskmzxclb098 45;jklasgnasd09723'qsr\[aspdf\][pas]as{}PSADG|}P{A BXVBZXMNAS ERQ(UW ETASGK:NXZB><ZXB<ASN:KJWEPTOUASG
((kaeslogic)) i dont want to here what you have to say at any time.
((kaeslogic)) do not speak to me.
((ssixk)) awwwh
((pogue_)) its hear not here ;)
((ssixk)) but baby.
((pjeffcree)) Oh man, pogue the guy from norway regulates kaes!!
((pjeffcree)) Owned!!
((wise-k)) only porno lesbians look good
((ex0dus`)) can someone do an ascii for my shell company
((ex0dus`)) you'll get a free DS1 shell
((kaeslogic)) how do i work a shell? :)
((jeffcreep)) /* controversial "superpenis" algorithm ;) */
((jeffcreep)) eggdrop has a 'superpenis' algorithm!!
((aet-)) the other day.. i was playing halflife.. there was a camper... i went like "damn camper, move".. my mom heard it, and she went like "if its a jew, throw a 5$ on the floor, he'll move to get it"
((wkz)) this is no fun
((wkz)) you rednecks
<cat-dog> penis
((retributn)) MECHA LECHA HI MECHA CHINEY HO
((retributn)) THATS THE ONLY ARABIC I CAN SPEAK
((OUTKAST-)) ive got a woman but im not goin out with her, she wont let me hit it DAMNIT(*!&@$)!@*&)!@(*&$)(!@*&$)!(@*&$!)(@*&$)(!@*&$!)
<cat-dog> OUTKAST-: hit it? i usually stick the penis in the vagina, whatdoes hitting it do?
((produkt)) i saw a crusting, yeast-filled, negro vagina and i got horny
((produkt)) anyone have that kind of fetish
((_sod)) dont knock sodium
((panacea_)) sod; ahhaha
((ministar)) sod: your so pathetic
((ministar)) giving props to yourself
* _sod pats himself on the back
<cat-dog> UNF
((radmanTDS)) mEOW.
<cat-dog> do you live with TGuardian?
((radmanTDS)) yes.
((radmanTDS)) we share the same toothbrush, even.
<cat-dog> is it pink?
((radmanTDS)) no it's a barbie toothbrush.
-/ cat-dog [~cat_dog@ppp0011.log.on.ca] joined #soa at 12:11
<cat-dog> unf
<cat-dog> can i join?
((xt4)) this is a joke ?
((xt4)) send me ur works anyway
((xt4)) i never saw your works
<cat-dog> look in mimic packs
((xt4)) sec
((xt4)) ur in pack
((xt4)) 14?
<cat-dog> yes
((xt4)) name of file
((xt4)) i dont find you
<cat-dog> cd!che.ans
((xt4)) Wow!
((xt4)) nice
((xt4)) you really want to join soa :?
<cat-dog> yes
((xt4)) WELL SO YOUR IN DUDE
((xt4)) you got more works in
((xt4)) the pack?
<cat-dog> naw, just kidding actually mimic4life
-\ cat-dog parted #soa [~cat_dog@ppp0011.log.on.ca]
<pghfilth:#ans> there was actually a porno bbs backhomecalled "the fuck truck"
((blk_jack)) Man, I swear to god.. the only bad thing about having a penis is the fact that an erection when you're standing up is really really annoying.
((bludwulf)) DICK IN THE AIR !@#&!@(# DICK IN YOUR HAIR !@#(&!@# HOW BOUT SOME DICK IN YOUR DERRIERE !@#(&
((retributn)) DONT PUT YOUR PENIS THERE!@#$( WAVE IT IN THEAIR!(#@ SMACK IT ON THE CARE BEAR!(@#$
((retributn)) PUT YOUR COCK IN THE RECLINING CHAIR!@#( HOLD UPBUDDY YA HAFTA SHARE!(@# BUTTHOLE TIGHTER THAN A SNARE!@(#$
((coolG)) you fear my bed-going sk1llo
general nuttiness
general nuttiness
by grmer
my friends used to drive around with tanks of nitrous in thier van.ifthey ever got pulled over, the cop would be like, "how the fuck stupid are youdamn kids?"they were real white trash if i ever met any.they go downtownand actually pimp fags off to other fags for crack.i am not lying.have youor anyone in your family ever pimped for crack?if they do, they are whitetrash. yes, hicks.that jeff foxworthy guy should incorporate "if you ever godowntown and pimp faggots for crack, you might be a redneck" into his comedyshow.i'd laugh.anyway, iv'e been with my girlfriend for a year and i wantto kill the bitch dead.all she does is whine how i never take her out or buyher anything when this is all i do, and she gets mad at the smallest littlething, which gets me mad, then i end up telling her to get her bitch ass outof my house so i can sleep.she is all fucked up in the head.i like towrite in small sentences and one paragraph form, totally opposite to the way iwas supposedly learning all that time in school.i was one credit short ofgraduating in 1998, so they wouldnt let me go back.i was needless to sayenthralled.anyway i got a home tutor that told me she didnt care and shehelped me cheat my way into getting my diploma.i was still so lazy that whenit came to do my final paper for her i went on a whole bunch of web sites andcut and pasted every last bit of information and put it together nicely andoutlined the way i had cut and pasted.i got a 100.i beat the system onceand probably that will be the only time.in the year 2000 i think everyone isgoing to riot and there will be total chaos, no computers will go down and nowarheads are going to explode, or terrorists are going to blow up washington,or new york or what have you, people are just gonna go nuts and party.noonewill be pimping fags for crack because the cia is just gonna drop a wholebunch of crack from a helicopter right in the middle of the block and wee'rgonna set up some turntables, and smoke crack and dance.fuck that ecstacyshit, i'm on some hard ass shit.give us the hee-ron.now stick that inyour pipe and smoke it laced with angel dust.i'm just kidding folks.theonly thing thats gonna happen is jesus christ almighty is gonna come to earthand judge everyone and everyone will be all hyped up that theyl'l be sinningand not even notice before he comes and everyone will die and burn in hell.
this is one of many possible outcomes.
i just think that everythings gonna be be the same it was and everyone's gonnago back to work and school and the girl whose name i don't even know is gonnasay hi to me and il'l be forced to drool over her some more with my dumb bitchgirlfriend about ten feet away yelling at me cuz i didnt buy her a record wheni bought 5 for myself and none for her because she knows she doesnt even havethe concentration or musical understanding it takes to even use turntables.so it's a vicious circle, i want what i cannot have, and what i have i do notwant thank you very much.i am rambling and it is 3:43am.
i wish the cia would give me a really good hookup on the drugs theyconfiscate so i could sell them and not work for my money.selling drugs forthe cia.haha, if you got caught (god forbid) you wouldnt even have anyone torat out because all you know is they guy with the black suit and tie (whicheverone).
i feel bad for the woman who is married to the cia or nsa agent.sheprobably thinks her husband is cheating on her for when he never comes home and
always has to leave in the middle of the night and he cant tell her why.shebetter not argue with him though because all the credit cards she gets to use to
go buy stuff are just tax money.and hell, there's so many different ways thegovernment fucks us for money it's funy, some more than others but it's stillfucked. bail money, cigarettes, seizure, bus fare, everything involved is carsfrom registration to gas.hell, i'd rather take the bus.
bj`s corner (c)
DUN DUN DUNNNN
BJ's corner, PART THREE.
------------------------
Yes folks, I'm aware that it's been awhile since you've seen a gloriouscontinuation of this magical miniseries of articles by myself.. but alas,THE DAY IS APON YOU.BJ'S CORNER PART THREE IS HERE!!(Note: Bj's corner is a text file with a bunch of stupid questions.)
------------------------
School's back, priorities change.. some for the worse, some for thebetter.. but all in all, the ascii scene is still fucked up!Yes folks.. what the hell do we have here?Let's see... We've got the three most major ascii groups in the scene right now.Mimic: Obviously the choice of champions.. like Tiger Woods.Remorse: Whirr is taking a leave?Ohhhh fuck.
True: Heh.
..and that's it? God damn we suck.Now, I know you're all (haha)concerned about this.. so go out, whip open notepad & write an article about how the scene is dying!!
"Bah, enough about the scene's state.. we want questions!" -- CainWell, you heard the man, let's get the questions going!
------------------------
Why are there so many crazy Disney employees that randomly putpornographic images in various Disney 'masterpiece' movies?
--
Why did True release their first pack on the 19th the 20th? (8:20)--Why do customers at Blockbuster rarely rent quality films?
--
Why is trend so fucking absolute?
--
Why hasn't a doodleboy, or doodleboy(s) started a trendy boy 'power'group like n'sync & the backstreet boys?
--
Why do they remake classic cartoons like Johnny Quest, Spiderman..etc?
--
Did you know there's a Godzilla II coming out?
--
Why do punkrock t-shirts have to be so god damn hard to buy?--ONE TWO THREE FOUR
--
Is Kaes going to die in a random Florida tornado one of these days?
--
Whatever happened to Karma/2?--Whatever happened to Ninja?
--
Why do people always tell half truths?Where's honesty gone to thesedays?
--
How come euros have such weird four letter word names?Elad? Idan? Ohad?(No offense to those artists!)
--
Wait-a-sec, Jeff is a four letter word too.Hey, so is LOVE.. and HATE, and FUCK.. but FUCK's an acronym.For Unknown Carnal Knowledge..(ed: FUCK - Fornication Under Consent of the King <uNF!>)
--
How come that last one wasn't a question?Has Jeff lost it?
--
Why does everyone hate people who think communism is a good idea?There's nothing wrong with opinions like that... unless you become a big nazi &try to enforce them with threats of death.--Why do hugs feel so good?--Why is skateboarding so god damn trendy?
--
Why is hip-hop so god damn trendy?--Does anyone find it amusing that the europe/asia-type scenes existance is threatened by the fact that most of their countries have conscription?
--
Why are 'classic' quotes so essential to everyone?
--
Why do your parents constantly use these classic sayings & quotes sooften? Is this something they used to say when they were kids?
--
Why does everyone find Robin Williams so funny?He's a psycho.
--
Why doesn't anyone write for Mimeograph?
--
WHY MUST YOU ALL BE LAZY SLACKERS?? BASTARDS.
--
shamu
<sekwence> san diego is the best city in the world.
<infect-> isn't shamu there?
<sekwence> shamu died.
<revo2001> shamu is in florida
<revo2001> aint she
<infect-> shamu died!?
<sekwence> shamu headbutted another whale.
<sekwence> no
<sekwence> shamu's here.
<infect-> headbutted another whale!?
<sekwence> i guess they have a new shamu though
<sekwence> but yeah<infect-> GN0@#!$
<sekwence> the original shamu like had a head on with another whale
<sekwence> and died.
uNF!
HI EVERYONE!!#$%%!%$!@ this is prod, and his debut in an emag. sweet. awesome. cool. well! today, produkt will be discussing the various homosexualities of people, *cough*mainly catdog*cough*.
OK!#$%WREDFSVCXXX XKXVM
WERD YOH
OHohOHoHOho
*note* i hold nothing against any persons, don't get mad at me, its justa joke. btw, you're gay.
___/,,,\I HAVE ONE ARM!$#% HELP$%!#@
≥*.*≥ /
\(_)/
\|≥ <---cat-dog
-Dƒƒƒƒ¥_
/|≥\\/\_/\ OK, JUST STICK THAT THING IN HERE!#@
≥\\/ƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒ/ +.+ \ /≥8ƒƒDO¿ƒ\O/ƒŸ≥¿ƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒŸ <---cat-dog's cat/ \/ \¿E¿E¿E¿Edb
As labeled in this diagram, cat-dog is practicing bestiality on his cat, suda . Suda is helping cd calm his pain from the loss of his left arm.
ScRiZzNOwL dIZZoWn
Moving on, we'll demonstrate aeternam's daily activities. Oh my, what is THIS!#@? WHO IS THAT GUY!?
___
a/ \ <----aeternam's afro
e\___/
t/. .\OUgH tEegEe YOur PenIS iS sO sMaLL#!%$
e--> \_O_/ /
r≥o ___::
nOƒ≥ƒO\≥/ o ,::
a(_)_)ÕÕÕÕÕÕÕÕÕÕÕÕÕÕÕÕÕD\___8≥______/D~ o:::
m/ \/≥\___::/ \/odb
Aeternam has sexual relations with t33g33. what a surprise.
JeAH
OtAH, NIGgUh SKRiZzoL DoWN
Hrm.. Now that we've discovered 2 sexual fantasies of the mimic people, we should explore deeper into the dank caverns of GRAND MASTER MOJO's mind.
____
werdhat-> ____/WERD\ _ ___
/------\\\////DoOdZoR, I thINK i'LL mIX SoME bLUEgRasS WiTHgrm---> :o. o : \__/FrEncH Rap THaT woULD SouND ErEet, YoH!#$\-// ///¿ƒƒƒŸ__/ //___// /KLEET≥<-----extremely erekt 'kleet' shirt_ /_/≥≥/ /_/ ¿ƒƒƒƒƒŸgat-> / /¿ƒ(O)ƒŸ<-------------elite texan belt/_//\// ≥≥/| <--elite pants/_|/|``'' ___/||| |⁄ƒŸ ¿ƒƒø <--army boots¿ƒƒƒƒŸ¿ƒƒƒƒŸ
Hrm, grm has a sexual fantasy about mixing bluegrass and french rap.
Here, we find vap0r(guest appearance by haji and discyple)
HAJI
/////HUH HUH, I'M 18discyple/ oo \ /___________\_()_/\≈/__\_______//\vapor\ o o /))/\((.....\_O_/≥__≥C OOƒƒƒ√ƒƒƒ/ n\ \__________/ .D≥/ / 8ÕÕÕÕÕÕÕÕÕÕÕÕÕÕÕD O\ (<|=========≥⁄ƒ/_/\_\ƒø//B4D4$$\____// \¿ƒƒŸ¿ƒƒŸ__// /ƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒ|≥⁄ƒƒƒ/ \/ _/ / ¿ƒƒƒŸ\⁄ƒƒø::: _/ ¿ƒƒŸ/_///\//\\
Heres some porn for you.
GaYseX0rGy!# .....If you cant make it out and are a retard,like ret, haji is buttfucking vapor who is sucking off scott.
Wow thats almost the whole (sorta)mimic crew! Oh no, i forgot blowjob!Heres some bj sexpics.
______ <---he shaves his head because he's too lazy to go out and get/ ÈÈ \a haircut.| . .. \\:::\/:::/\:(__):/<---jeff's beard because he's too lazy to shave.::::::::::DƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒORecently, jeff got a new girlfriend. Little do you guysknow, he only told me the truth...//\\____________//\\\⁄ƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒø///\\ Real-girl//\\ AI Clone!artificial intelligence_//\\___≥¿ƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒŸ≥is a beautiful thing. /__/\___//____________\/oooooooooooooo\/_oooooooooooooo_\
WELL GUYS THATS ALL FOR TODAY!#$%!$#%#!@EITEWIT+)IJ BYE
-PRoDukT Of MImIc ANd PUrG ProDukTShUNZ
PRo D @m IM i C.c A
true
ok, cd here. one thing i want to make clear. uNF
i do not hate or dislike true in anyway, i only took #true because i love cain.he is like one of those goofy retard bastards, you cant help but love them.(nb: cain does _not_ have down syndrome)
but, seriously. true is a very good group, i do not know anything on how it is run, but i could care less as long as they keep pumping out packs equal to or surpassing the level of greatness as true #1. i know you might think this is weird, me writing about how great true!ascii is, but if you think about it, and if you looked at their pack without a pre concieved notion about true, i'm gonna guess your view would be rather different (if you go by: "haha true sucks!!").
i have a lot of respect for cain, and true. not until recently did i get rid ofmy stupid attitude towards them (mimic pride, i guess), i always thought #1 wasa great pack, just never admitted it to well, anyone. it seems that because ofwho is running the group, it gives a lot of different vibes to people.
EXAMPLE: someone who dislikes kaes - "haha, true.. what a joke, kaes shoulda stayed in mimic"
oh well.. time for the pack. i shall finish this later, look for mimeo o6.
-cd
