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Warning Issue 02
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\ \ \_/ \_\ \/\ \L\.\_\ \ \/ /\ \/\ \ \ \/\ \/\ \/\ \L\ \
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'\/__//__/ \/__/\/_/ \/_/ \/_/\/_/\/_/\/_/\/_/\/___L\ \
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Issue 2, 1/1/2002
Written by:
The Warning Crew
Copyright © 2001 The Warning Crew
Website:
http://warningzine.microsux.com
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Contacts:
Editor: Happy_Hardcor3@punkmusic.com
Admin: cphifer@subdimension.com
Advertising: cphifer@subdimension.com
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The Editor Speaks
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Hello I am the editor. I am speaking as the title suggest. Please keep
reading our zine or you will be abducted by spooky beaver goblins. I
am not lying they got one of our teams best writers when he quit writing.
Acctually just read the zine you have nothing to worry about. Your safe
when you read our magazine well, physically anyways. Do not go away.
Happy_Hardcor3
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Hello this magazine is a public service anouncment! We are currently under great
stress here at the Warning Magazine headquarters and you are to blame! Not you.
YOU! Yeah this is quite pointless I agree but thats the point and you enjoy it so err
don't be a facist and accept what is dished out at you!
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Hate
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I have seen what you have not.
I have seen people starving.
I have seen people dieing.
I have seen people choking.
I have seen smoke and fire.
I have seen explosions.
I have seen the good rot.
I have seen the evil take over.
I have seen what you dont want to see.
I have seen good will turn bad.
I have seen hell on Earth.
I have seen the Omega.
I have seen the future.
If you dont all stop the hate and start to care this is what it is going to come to.
The people of all colors will suffer together and you will then begin to care.
That care wont matter anymore if you have waited to late. The world will end in
disaster and there will be no starting over or repenting. War is in equality to hate.
Murder is also in equality to hate. Don't hate. Osama Bin Laden will get his for the
people he killed God will make shure of it. Do not stoop to his level. Yes you all
want revenge but revenge is not sweet. If you get revenge more innocent lives will be
taken. You can't kill a race just because of one person. Siners always get what they
diserve in the end, but you to are being siners by trying to kill someone. Lives are
taken for a reason. The people in New York had a reason to go. They where called, so
let fate take it's toll. God is in control.
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I have a bear.
--------------
I have bear.
He lives in a tree.
The tree fell.
He broke his neck.
I took him to the hospital.
The doctors ran away.
I tried to fix his neck myself.
The scalple cut his head off.
My bear is dead.
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THIS COULD BE YOUR AD JUST EMAIL ME!
THE AD SPACE IS FREE TO THE FIRST PERSON
TO REQUEST IT!
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Any paper, ALWAYS free to the informed paper reader.
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Every person has the right to the news (whether it's the REAL news, or
not). With those damn vending machines, it is sometimes hard. Or should
I say USED to be hard. I've spent countless hours on public transportation
with nothing to do, but guess the other commuter's names. Now I always
have something to do, read the censored news, for free (and for a good laugh).
Who wants to pay for a bunch of lies and infatuations on paper? Not I. So,
I devised a sure method for obtaining a newspaper from any newspaper vending
machine, at any time. It's easy, causes NO damage to the vending machine,
and it's easy to go undetected while doing it.
Materials Needed:
1) Thin wire coat hanger
2) Pair of wire snips
(not too much to ask, huh?)
Steps:
_
1) So, you got your / \ 2) With your wire snips,
coat hanger. The / cut the bottom piece
only part you ______/\______ off. (Refer to dia-
will need is the a/______________\a gram: a=where to cut)
bottom piece. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
(underlined with
a '^')
3) Now you have a straight piece of wire
roughly 15 or 16 inches long. You
now want to slightly curve this piece
of wire. To make a the perfect curve,
put the wire on a basketball (or a
soccerball, you have the idea) and
bend the wire so it has the same curve
of the ball. If that makes no sense to
you, just make a nice even curve in the
wire.
Voila (sp?)!
You now have a newspaper vending machine opener!!
To use it is quite simple. Stick it into the coin
slot of the newspaper vending machine that has the
paper you want to get for free. Stick it in all
the way. There is not need to be forcefull, it is
*very* easy to open. Wiggle the hanger around until
you hear the latch open. Pull the door down, and
steal as many papers as you like. Isn't that simple?
This works on every newspaper vending machine you'll
come upon. Just keep jiggling the hanger until it
pushes the latch open. It gets easier and quicker
with practice. I can open any newspaper vending
machine in the matter of 4 or 5 seconds. (Something
to be proud of, huh? <g>).
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To submit articles to Warning Zine. Email them to Happy_Hardcor3@punkmusic.com.
We are looking for lots of submissions. We would also like you to let your friends know
about Warning. If you would like to advertise send to the advertising address given.
Thank You For Reading Warning!
