Vaginal and Anal Secretions Newsletter 047

eZine lover (@eZine)

Published in 

VAS

 · 26 Apr 2019

  

ÉÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍ» 
º ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ ßÜ     Û ÛßßßÛ Ûßßßß ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ º 
º ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ ßÜ   Û Û   Û ÛÜÜÜÜ ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ º 
º ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ ßÜ Û ÛßßßÛ     Û ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ º 
º ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ ßÛ Û   Û ÜÜÜÜÛ ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ º 
ÌÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍ͹ 
º                Vaginal and Anal Secretions Newsletter #0047                 º 
ÇÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄĶ 
º          Date Released : [07/03/92]       Author: Library Policeman         º 
ÇÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄĶ 
º                   The Adventures Of /<-aPTaiN ]<-RaD Part 1.                º 
ÓÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄĽ 

        Welcome to the first "Adventures of /<-aPTaiN ]<-RaD". I hope to make 
a few more of these, as a creative writing project when I have no other ideas 
and we need more VaS files. So anyhow... On with the first story of the 
series... 

                <=*=< /<-aPTaiN ]<-RaD GoeS oN VaCaTioN >=*=> 

        It was a hot summer day, and /<-aPTaiN ]<-RaD was thinking to himself, 
"BoY THiS SuRe iS BooooRiNG... THeRe aReN'T aNY ]<-RaDiCaL ]-[aCKeR CoNVeNTioNS 
CoMiNG uP SooN... i WoNDeR WHaT i SHouLD Do". (Don't forget that /<-aPTaiN 
]<-RaD always thinks in ]<-K0oL tYpE.) 
        Well after countless hours of reading humerous VaS files and hacking 
into ever goverment computer in existence, /<-aPTaiN ]<-RaD decided, "MaYBe 
i WiLL TaKE a NeeTo VaCaTioN To GeT aWaY FRoM iT aLL... aND To PiCK uP SoMe 
dewd-ical BaBeZ!". 
        So /<-aPTaiN ]<-RaD hacked into multiple computer systems, but to no 
avail. All his internet accounts had been shut down, and to make things worse, 
he had a large popsicle stick up his ass (He forgot to take it off the seat 
earlier). So as he removed the large splinters in his rectal cavity, he 
pondered thoughts on how to get to a really K0oL place like jamica so he 
could show the Jamican Vodoo Posse' all his NeEtO T-FiLeZ on growing PoT. 
        "a-HaH!" he thought to himself. "i HaVe CoMe uP WiTH THe PeRFeCT PLaN 
To GeT To JaMiCa!". He then ran out the door and was gone for several hours, 
forgetting to turn off his FuCkInG InTeRnEt HackER program he was running to 
get all his /<radical accounts back. 
        Several hours later, /<-aPTaiN ]<-RaD raced back in the door, holding 
a large corrugated cardboard box and $38.31 in postage stamps. "WHaT a GeNiuS 
iDea, iF i Do SaY So MYSeLF" thought /<-aPTaiN ]<-RaD. "MaiLiNG MYSeLF To 
JaMiCa WiLL GeT Me THeRe ReaLLY CheeP aND ee-z!". 
        So /<-aPTaiN ]<-RaD took the box down to his local post office, and 
packaged himself up in the box, and proceeded to mail himself to Jamica. He 
figured he was all set, and according to his calculations on his SuPeR D0oPeR 
PaNaSoNiC xP-3053.13a moDel S0oPeR CaLcuLaToRr it would take approximately 
3.931 days to get there. 
        Of course what /<-aPTaiN ]<-RaD forgot was that the US postal service 
is a total joke and loses half the mail you send. So instead of ending up in 
Jamica, he ended up on a small desert island somewhere in the pacific ocean. 
        He got out, looking around to see if anyone else was around, and sure 
enough he ran into Gilligan and The Skipper. Then he found the Professor and 
he made a spaceship out of some coconuts and /<-aPTaiN ]<-RaD's sole scruffy 
pubic hair, and /<-aPTaiN ]<-RaD proceeded to fly his newly made spacecraft 
back to his house, where he would think up another way to get there. 
        Unfortunately, He forgot that he was still running his FuCKinG 
iNTeRnEt HaCkEr program, which had been going for the past week. Now as 
dumb as the FBi is, they managed to catch on to his little scheme. And as he 
went to check out how many k0oL PaSSwoRDz AnD AccOUNTs He had gotten, a SWAT 
team burst into his house spraying jizzum all over. 
        They tackled /<-aPTaiN ]<-RaD down to the ground, and read him his 
rights as they unearthed the worlds largest xxx gif collection (oVeR 2.9 
gigabyTeS oF NuDiE PiCZ!). After seeing all those really neet GiF files, 
the FBi decided to give /<-aPTaiN ]<-RaD a chance to be a free man. They 
decided to have a masturbating contest. The FBI's best man vs /<-aPTaiN 
]<-RaD's best man <Which they assumed to be himself>. Then at the last minute, 
]<-RaD called upon his very good friend Pee Wee Herman who came over and 
saved the day, and they all live hapily wacking ever after. 

The moral of the story: KeeP reaDiNG VaS FiLEs FoR MoRe PooR WriTiNG! 

                   ÄÄÄÍÍÍÍÍ[ VaS DiSTRiBuTioN SiTeS ]ÍÍÍÍÍÄÄÄ 
ÉÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍ» 
º  BBS Name                 Number       Baud   Sysop                Title    º 
ÇÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄĶ 
º  LiVe WiRE BBS        (313)464-1470    14.4   Studmuffin          World HQ  º 
º  PoT BBS              (313)462-1906    24oo   Phreak_Accident     World HQ  º 
º  TcH BBS              (713)373-4031    14.4   One Meg Cacher      Dist. #1  º 
º  Floating Pancreas    (305)551-0311    14.4   Majestic Cockster   Dist. #2  º 
º  Phantasm III         (313)884-2617    14.4   Scavenger           Dist. #3  º 
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