Vaginal and Anal Secretions Newsletter 036

eZine lover (@eZine)

Published in 

VAS

 · 5 years ago

  

ÉÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍ» 
º ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ ßÜ     Û ÛßßßÛ Ûßßßß ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ º 
º ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ ßÜ   Û Û   Û ÛÜÜÜÜ ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ º 
º ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ ßÜ Û ÛßßßÛ     Û ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ º 
º ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ ßÛ Û   Û ÜÜÜÜÛ ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ º 
ÌÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍ͹ 
º                Vaginal and Anal Secretions Newsletter #0036                 º 
ÇÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄĶ 
º          Date Released : [06/30/92]       Author: Jeffery Dahlmer           º 
ÇÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄĶ 
º                            The Cannibal's Cookbook.                         º 
ÓÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄĽ 

        Finally, we have it...The long awaited Cannibal's Cookbook that we 
have been promising since ohh.. Issue #3 or so. 
        Recently we have been getting lots of comments on how sick we are. So 
tell ya what, Call Live Wire BBS or PoT (see #'s at the end of the tfile) and 
send e-mail to studmuffin on PoT or the sysop on Live wire and we will make 
a VaS issue dedicated entirely to your comments. You seem to think we are 
sick, depraved, even stoned. We do appreceate your feedback/suggestions. 
        If you wish to get in touch with us, but don't wish to call LD, 
Studmuffin can be found on CelerityNet, TCSNet, FelonyNet, and a few other 
smaller ones. 
        Anyhow on with the recipes! Have fun! 

PREFIX 
====== 
        Before you go about trying to cook people, you should know the basic 
steps to cleaning and preparing a human body for consumption. Unlike the 
chicken, Human skin does not taste very good, So for most recipes you will 
want to to remove this. One method is to place the body in a bathtub full of 
ice cold water for about a week. This will loosen up the skin enough to 
the point where you can peel it off like an orange, and it will keep the body 
from rotting. Another method is to boil it off. Be careful doing this, I 
would not reccomend it as the bodily organs may expand as the body fluids 
boil and the corpse may explode. 
        Bones are another problem. The spine can be particularly tricky to 
remove if you want to get those tasty back mussles. The most effective way 
to remove this nuissance is to cut off the head (This is one of the least 
useful parts of the body - to be explained later), and pull the spine up 
through the neck. You will have the problem of the ribs getting in the way, 
So you may want to make a deep incision going from the top of the throat 
down to the abdomen right in the middle of the front of the body, and a 
horizontal cut at the abdomen where the other cut left off to avoid damage 
to any other parts of the body. Save the lungs, heart, liver, spleen, 
pancreas, etc... these will all be used. 
        The useless parts of the body will be your feet, as they are mostly 
tendons, bones, ligaments, and the like, so they won't be very tasty. Next 
is the hands. They are a little bit meatier, good for apetizers (I do have 
a recipe using the fingers and toes so you may want to save them!). The head 
is basically useless, A human brain is not a tasty thing, trust me, I know. 
Its kind of like eating rotten calliflour <SP?> that is all gray and dingy 
and nasty smelling. Of course if it is a guy you probably wont want to eat 
the dick after all the stuff that goes on around there, and the same with the 
anal cavities, etc. Stomach, small & large intestines are NOT good eating. 
If it is a female, the breasts are mostly fat anyways, so save the fat, it 
makes for jucier meats when you saute them with it. I wouldnt reccomend trying 
to eat the nipples either, I dont think they would taste very good. 
        And I am not going to go into the methods of getting your human 
subject. I will tell you that you want someone slightly overweight, not too 
much, but with a little fat to keep the meats jucier and the skin easier to 
remove. 
        Anyhow enough of the technical stuff, On to the recipes. For this 
stuff you will need a oven/stove. I wouldnt recommend using a microwave because 
human flesh has the tendency to really get dried out when you put it in the 
microwave. 

+-----------+ 
| Apetizers | 
+-----------+ 

Finger-Size Snacks. 
=================== 
Ingredients: 
10 fingers (or 8 fingers and 2 thumbs for smartasses) 
10 toes 
1  Cup flour 
1  bowl of melted butter 
1  Cup cornmeal 

What to do: 
First of all, you want to remove the fingernails and toenails (and thumbnails 
for the smartasses again). Removing the bones is not neccessary, but a plus. 
If the fingers were cut cleanly, the bones should just slide out. Mix the 
cornmeal and the flour into one bowl (not the one with the butter in it). Now 
dip the buttered fingers and toes into the cornmeal/flour mixture. Repeat 
until all pieces are well coated. Now place the butter left over in a frying 
pan, bring it to a sizzle, then proceed to fry them until they are golden 
brown and crispy on the outside while soft and moist on the inside. Eat while 
still hot. Serves 2. (1 hand & 1 foot for each of you!). 

Chocolate Covered balls 
======================= 
Ingredients: 
2 Testicles (if its a male) 
2 Eyeballs 
1 half pound of hersheys chocolate 
4 toothpicks (or 2 if its a female) 

What to do: 
First, place the chocolate in a double boiler and melt it nice and soft and 
goey. Then dip the balls into the chocolate (stick a toothpick in it to lower 
it in and get it all covered). Now place these in the freezer to cool them 
off, and boom, you have a ready-to-eat-snack anytime. Serves 1. 

Entrail Salad 
============= 
Ingredients: 
Any leftover parts from cleaning human 

What to do: 
The human body contains a plethora of useful body parts that we cant really 
use for other recipes, yet it would be a shame to waste. For example, the 
spleen, various fat tissues, Arteries & Veins, nerves, etc. Just mix these 
up in a bowl, and then add some dressing (thousand island is good for this) 
and you are set with a healthy nutritious 100% natural snack. 

+--------------+ 
| Main Courses | 
+--------------+ 

Bob Roast 
========= 
Ingredients: 
1 Large thigh muscle 
1 breast (if its female - else 1 ass cheek) 
1 cup of miscelaneous body parts 

What to do: 
This is a good meal for a family of 3 or 4. You will remove the muscle on the 
thigh of the person <pretend his name was Bob so we can call it Bob roast>, 
and then the fat from the breast (or ass cheek) which you will melt in a 
seperate pan and pour over it. Place the roast in a deep covered pan, in an 
over at 400 degrees for 35-40 minutes, until brown on the outside , sauteing 
occasionally with the melted fat. After about 15-20 minutes, add the entrails 
to the bottom of the pan, and re-cover. This will help keep the meat nice and 
moist. Serve while hot. Feeds 4. 

BBQ Spare Ribs & Watermelon Pie. 
================================ 
HEY YOU NIGGER STOP READING THESE VaS FILES WE HATE YOU - GO BACK TO THE 
JUNGLES OF AFRICA OR WHEREVER YOU CAME FROM. 
If you arent a nigger than read on (there is no watermelon pie though). 
Ingredients: 
1 set of human ribs 
1 jar of barbeque sauce 

What to do: 
This is an easy one to make, if you have a barbeque. It just wont work too 
well in a oven or microwave. The main problem here is gettin 2 sets of ribs. 
You will need a powerful saw, and saw the ribs off of each side, this can 
get difficult, one of those electric meat cutting knives may help. Then coat 
them with BBQ sauce before putting them on, Grill on each side for around 
5-10 minutes, until nice and brownish-red, then turn over, adding more sauce 
to the side as you turn it over to keep it juicy. Serve while hot. Feeds 2. 

+---------+ 
| Deserts | 
+---------+ 

Boy after all that great food you are ready for some desert eh? Well here is 
2 ideas for some good recipes for desert. 

Hot Spleen Sundae. 
================= 
Ingredients: 
1 Spleen 
1 Pint Of Ice Cream 

What To Do: The spleen holds excess blood that is really dirty and shitty, so 
its tastes really good! Simply boil the spleen in some water until it starts 
to turn a bright red, then quickly remove it <it will explode if you don't>, 
and pour it over your ice cream. Voila! Instant delight for your kids and 
relatives! Serves 2.. 

Pussy 
===== 
Ingredients: 
1 Pussy 
1 pint ice cream 
1 bag cholcolate chips 
1 cup sprinkes 

What to do: You guys who tongue your girlfriend's clit think thats eating 
pussy, you are sorely mistaken. What you need to do is to remove the actual 
pussy from the corpse <if its a girl> with a sharp knife, and stuff it with 
the ice cream, chocolate chips, sprinkles, etc. Then eat the whole thing like 
a Pita bread.Yum Yum. Serves 1. 

CONCLUSION 
========== 
        Well thats all the space I am allowed so until the next issue of VaS 
have phun and happy eating! Hope you enjoyed this fine piece of literature! 
Leave us comments on any of the below BBS's (But preferable PoT or Live Wire). 

 
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