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Vaginal and Anal Secretions Newsletter 001

eZine's profile picture
Published in 
VAS
 · 5 years ago

  

ÉÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍ»
º ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ ßÜ Û ÛßßßÛ Ûßßßß ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ º
º ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ ßÜ Û Û Û ÛÜÜÜÜ ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ º
º ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ ßÜ Û ÛßßßÛ Û ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ º
º ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ ßÛ Û Û ÜÜÜÜÛ ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ º
ÌÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍ͹
º Vaginal and Anal Secretions Newsletter #0001 º
ÇÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄĶ
º Date Released : [05/12/92] Author: Cyrogenic Piss º
ÇÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄĶ
º Lots of Uses For Dead Parents º
ÓÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄĽ

Hi, Welcome to the first issue of VAS. In case you are wondering why
we have such a weird name, its because we couldnt think up a better one that
sounded good. So if you dont like it, fuck off. Anyhow we hope to get lots
and lots and lots of good quality textfiles pourin' out here, covering every
topic known to mankind. Some of us will use our real handles, others, like
me, will change handles from newsletter to newsletter as i think of more
interesting names. Anyhow enough of this bullshit , lets cut to the chase...

Have you ever wanted to kill your parents, but you are just too afraid
that after you kill them, you wont have any idea what to do with them? Well,
I know what you guys are going through, So I have compiled this list of stuff
that you can do with your parents after you kill them.

1] The eskimos of northern Alaska find that the jelly-like substance inside
polar bear eyes is very tasty, why not find out if the same holds true
with your parents?

2] Cut off your mom's tits and use the skin as a handy cap. Fuck wearing a
stupid Chicago Bulls hat when you can wear a tit-hat.

3] Cut off your dad's sac, and use it as a change holder.

4] Peel the flesh off their bones in thin strips and make beef jerky.

5] If you have really fat parents, get them up on someones roof, tie a rope
to them, with them being right over the front door. Now ring the doorbell,
and when the person comes out, pull the rope and your dead mom or dad will
fall on them... It will have quite a crushing effect.

6] Your dads testacles can be used for many useful things, such as :
marbles, slingshot ammo, golf ball <if hes got big balls>, or chewing gum.

7] Peel off all their skin <you may have to boil them first> and make it into
lampshade covers, wallets, etc. <ala Adolf Hitler>.

8] Cut off their heads, soak them in muratic acid <available at your local
hardware store> and use the skulls as decorations around the house.

9] The tiny bones of the inner ear make great holders for that hot greasy
ear of corn on the cob.

10] You can scalp them and sell their scalps to indians.

11] Get on an expressway overpass, and throw them off it onto traffic. Or
tie ropes to them, throw them down, and when cars come, pull the ropes
to make them 'stand up' and watch the commotion.

12] A tit also makes a good portable pillow or pincushion if you sew it up
right.

13] If you were to break the hip-bone in half you can play horshoes, by
ripping the large bones out of the legs and using them as the poles.

14] Pull out their large and small intestines and see if they REALLY stretch
out to 30 feet like your science teacher tells you.

15] Dump lots of pop rocks and pepsi down their throat and watch them
explode <mikey likes it>.

16] Necrophilism <For the truly perverse>.

17] Stick the end of an acetylene torch up his or her ass, fill them up with
gas, then stick a road flare halfway into their asshole and staple it
shut. Now light the road flare, and set the parent somewhere. In a while
it will be raining parents.

18] Take out their brains and bring them to school, giving it to people in
the hallway. People will take it, I mean, who the hell would bring a
real brain to school anyways heh.

19] When taken out properly, the spine can be used as a good noisemaker on
new year's eve.

Hmm thats all for now. If you do kill your parents, I would highly
reccomend trying one or more of these fine methods.

ÉÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍ»
º For All The Latest VAS Files, Be Sure To Call : º
ÇÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄĶ
º Persistence Of Time BBS þ 2400 baud þ (313)462-1906 þ NUP = T.MESS01 º
ÈÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍͼ

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