United States Underground 021

Published in

· 5 years ago

  

uSu - united States underground                         By:Mind Bender 

                 fedz, why they suck, and how to avoid them     

 
        Yes, why all know that fedz suck, they ruin fun, they make life  
miserable for anyonw who doesn't SUCK!  That's just the basics.  The also   
suck because they couldn't solve a crime without all their high tech shit. 
This file is saying that the fedz as a group and stupid and suck, not that 
each indivisual fed is stupid.  There must be at least some smart fedz, but 
not enough to make any kind of difference.  

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        The fedz are very stupid, there are only 3 reasons fedz ever catch  
people. 

        1. All their high-tech shit 
        2. right place-right time 
        3. reports from people 

 
                        1. 

        Encyclopedia Brown could catch more people than the fedz if the fedz 
didn't have all this high tech shit :).  All this fingerprint dusting, call 
tracing, etc.  Without there gadgets, they can't do anything. 

                        2. 

        If a fed is on patrol and he happens to see a robbery.  He drives 
as fast as the fedmobile can go and catches the guy.  This is luck.   

                        3. 

        Reports, like when someone calls and goes, somebody's in my house! 

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        TO AVOID FEDZ 

 
        1. before commiting a crime, think what high-tech gadgets they could 
use and then try to come up with ways to make it so the gadgets will be  
useless, like to avoid call tracing you would use a payphone and be quick. 
or to avoid fingerprints you would use gloves.  This part requires some  
thought. 

        2.  When a fed sees you by sheer luck, you have got some problems, 
it helps if you have a mask, so they can't identify you.  Also don't use a   
car, because fedz have cars that can go very fast, and have better suspension 
not to mention other things. 

        3.  After someone sees you, or a fed, if you know, run, leave town 
lose or gain a few pounds and shave your head.  You could also make yourself 
look different when you commit the crime(before-hand preperation). Then make 
yourself look normal again.  Like die your hair, lose or gain pounds, get a 
stick on tatto and remove it. Get some lenses for your eyes.  Put makeup on 
so you look like you have a scar.  Limp, whatever, you have to be a good  
actor to do some of these things. 

 
        I hope that helps, cya and look for more uSu releases soon. 
                                                -Mind Bender