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United States Underground 013
uSu - united States underground By:Cyberglitch
Totally cruel Anarchy
Ok listen up this shit is ment to be seriously funny and really
damaging to people's stuff and or people. If you do any of this shit, don't
go blaming the shit on uSu.
Ok here goes Totally cruel anarchy.
1) Say there's someone you really hate, that has a car. Ok now do this,
THING'S YOU'LL NEED:
Gloves(something that's not cloth, get disposables)
A plastic bag to put road kill in
Fresh road kill, a dead or run over squirrel or chipmunk,
whatever will do
Some scotch tape
A old tie that no one will care that's missing
A pair of sunglasses(optional, not really nessary, but funny)
A glass cutter
A plunger(or something that you can suction glass with)
WHAT TO DO:
Ok first get your gloves and plastic bag ready and go out and
find some dead road kill and pick it up wearing the gloves
and put it in the bag.
Next take the tie and put it around the road kill's neck like
a person would wear one. You can put the sunglasses on to,
just make sure there's no finger prints, after all you
wouldn't wanna get caught doing this shit because of finger
prints.
Ok now place your road kill back in the bag, now go to your
victim's car at night time! Now make sure that they don't
have an alarm that goes off if you touch or move the steering
wheel slighty, the drivers seat or if you remove the window.
Now with the plunger suction it on the window. Then with the
glass cutter cut out the glass and carefully remove the glass
that it suctioned onto your plunger(or whatever). Then take
that glass and put it down somewhere(remember no fingerprints
unless you wanna get caught). Now with the tape take you road
kills hands(or claws, whatever) and tape them to the steering
whell(or glue them if you wish) as if the road kill where
trying to drive this persons car. Then watch tommorrow morning
(from a distance where they can't spot you) as the person who
owns the car comes out and sees the road kill in his car,
most people would probally just take the road kill out with
the gloves. But the stench from the road kill being in there
over night will be there for quite some time, Espeically if
there maggot's and shit on the road kill already. Watch what
they do, then laugh your head off :).
2) In your school(if you go to school), go into the bathrooms when no ones
in there, usally after school is good, just make sure no one sees you
going in so they can't blame the shit you're about to do on you. Ok
when you go in, make sure you got'ta take a leak(no not a crap, i
wouldn't trust any toliet that being used by more than 4 people).
Then go up to the toliet, and start to take a leak, but what's this
you accidentlly relieved yourself, but no of the urine made it into
the toliet, ah what the hell piss on the walls, the toliet handles
hell even do it to the door. Then those cheesy toliet paper dispeners
take one and open it(or if you have a toliet paper roll take if off
the wall), and drop in it the toliet. Do this for each stall, so when
someone has to take a crap they have nothing but their hands to wipe
their asses with. What this a sink in the bathroom, well we can't
have that now, ok do this, clog up the sink, and any other holes that
remove water from the sink, then turn on the water and let it
overflow. Hell if you wan't to take a dump in the sink. Bring like a
toothpick and stick in the shit and make it look like a little white
flag. Then calmly leave the bathroom like as if nothing happened, then
when you get home laugh your fucking head off as some poor janitor now
has to clean after you going to the bathroom.
3) During one of those boring as hell school assembly come into the place
where they meet reaking and releasing some fowl body orders. Then
when you get your seat, pick your nose and start wiping your finger
with that really big bogger on it on someone else seats. Watch them
either get sick or just leave. What's that you have the 3 day old
piece of gum in your mouth, well if you school has those nice cloth
seats, take the gum and smear into the cloth. Watch the janitors
scream and cry like all hell becuase they have to take that shit out.
During the assembly scream out stuff like "BOY THAT WAS A STINKY",
"WHOA DID SOMETHING DIE IN HERE", "UHHH CAN SOMEONE PLEASE PASS THE
GREY POPUNE", "IF WE USED UP ALL OUR SICK DAYS MAY WE CALL IN DEAD?",
"HEY THAT PERSON OVER THERE ISN'T FAT, JUST SEVERLY GRAVITY IMPAIRED",
"OOPS, SORRY ABOUT TAKING A DUMP IN MY SEAT", "HEY PULL MY FINGER!",
"HEY I'M HUNGRY ENOUGH TO EAT A HORSE, GEUSS IT'S TIME TO GO TO BURGER
KING". Have fun dammit
4) If you're really fucking crazy, on school the next day right on your chest
"Anarchy Rulez" and then run around your school naked or with no
shirt on.
5) With a friend who has a car, buy like a crate of Snapple(the good shit,
nothing like the Lipton or Nestea Crap), drive and drink a couple of
the bottles, then with the empty bottles roll down your window and
have fun. Take the bottle chuck them at cars, windows, houses, hell
even people, and to make it even more funny and nasty, take a leak
in the bottle, cap it, and then chuck it at something, WHOA what a
stench. Have fun with this one, just make sure you don't drive to
fast, you wouldn't wan't a cop to stop you and try and take you in
for disorderly conduct would you?
6) Go to your nearest play ground and harass the kids their, tell them you
wan't to make love and stuff with them. Take those crappy swings and
wind them up onto of the pole so no one can use. Jam the merri-go
round wheels and teater totters. Get a dead road kill and tape it
onto the slides there.
7) Go around your neighborhood and knock people's mailboxs of the posts
and put them in the middle of the street for cars to run over.
10) Pour some lye or other bad tasting shit into your teachers coffee
11) Go into the class you hate the most and relieve yourself in the corner,
hell even take a dump while your at it, and make sure you smear it
on the teachers desk.
Look out for more cool and funny shit to do in later releases.
