United States Underground 006

eZine lover (@eZine)

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United States Underground

 · 5 years ago

  

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Downhome Country Breakfast:  How to mess up someones property BAD. 

                                             Courtesy of: 
                                             ThE aNaRcHiSt 

    The art of fucking up peoples property has not really changed over the 
years.  Sure there is the old shit in the bag trick, and forcing alka-seltzer 
up a small animals throat and throwing it at someone.  But I think the coolest 
way to fuck up someone's property is the "downhome country breakfast" method. 

    First, do this only when you are alone one NIGHT or with a friend, because 
in the night you probably won't get caught, and if you have too many people 
with you, one may confess.  Now that you have that down lets get ready to do a 
little destruction.  Get a freezer bag, or other decent sized plastic bag, and 
a copule of baggie ties.  Next, go into your refrigerator and find anything 
that smells really bad or that will mold over.  Some things include tuna fish, 
garlic, tomato paste, raw eggs, horseradish, or anything you can find.  Be 
original!  Next, put all of your ingredients in the bag.  After you've done 
that there are three alternatives: 

1.  Get any waterproof firecrackers, matches, flares, whatever and put them in 
    the bag, but save one firecracker.  When you put all of that in, lace the 
    outside of the bag with the gunpowder.   Now, obtain some duct tape (found 
    at any hardware store) and make a loop with it and attach it to the bag. 
    Casually, WALK up to the target, tape it on, light it, and run like hell. 
    The best places to put the bag is on a car, in a mailbox, or in a gutter. 
    The result is all crap everywhere in their car, or mailbox, etc. 

 
2.  Buy some Zippo lighter fluid from your local drug store.  Now, take the 
    bag outside.  Open it and put in approximately 3 ounces of fluid.  Tie the 
    bag up with the baggie tie and squirt the outside of the bag with the rest 
    of the fluid.  This works best in the summer when the victim has central 
    air.  Take the bag and put it under the loozers central air unit.  Now 
    light a stick and appply the flame to the bag and run like hell.  When the 
    loozers wake up or come home at night, their house will be engulfed in 
    gray, putrid, noxious fumes.  Let them try to fuck with you now. 

 
3.  Put anything thats sweet in the bag instead of what you have in now.  Such 
    as, oranges, apples, potatoes, licorice, soda, caramel, etc.  Now close up 
    the bag and cut a hole about as big as the tip of your middle finger.  Be 
    careful when delivering it to the loozers house or car because it might 
    spill.  Plant the bag under the foundation of the house or stuff it in 
    a hole in the front porch and over time, hundreds of ants will be vacating 
    their house and it will cost hundreds to get them out. 

 
    These are just some ways of pissing people off by ruining their house, be 
creative.  Have fun!!! 

                                               ThE aNaRcHiSt