Underground eXperts United File 592

eZine lover (@eZine)

Published in 

Underground eXperts United

 · 5 years ago

  

 
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                         Underground eXperts United 

                                 Presents... 

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         [  I'm Trying  ]                         [  By Eric Chaet  ] 

 
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I'M TRYING 
by Eric Chaet 

 
I'm trying to be of the past, present, & future. 
I'm trying to be of humanity, of life, of the universe. 
I'm examining these lenses prescribed for my eyes 
when there was nothing wrong with my eyes, 
& these filters between my eyes & ears 
& everything happening & being said in the world. 

I'm trying to understand the troubles of my bent & quiet elders, 
& to enter into the testing & calling & laughing play of children-- 
as I enter the resistance & release of Coltrane's saxophone & Bach's organ. 

I'm trying to comprehend the passions 
of those who insist on acting as tho they are always leading, 
& of those who bitterly, heavily do what they feel they must do, 
& those who cheerfully do what they find they must, 
delight in whatever hasn't been ruined, 
& find the strength to be kind 
to one another & to those who fall, distraught, into their midst. 

I'm trying to right myself-- 
I've been staggering--hit from left, right, behind, 
opposed, lied to, honest reactions & information withheld 
by parents, siblings, those I called my friends, lovers, 
by agents--some deceived themselves--of corporations & governments, 
& those whose only job is to expose the raw truth for my evaluation. 

I'm trying to right myself while I still have time, energy, & capacity 
to comprehend what has previously eluded me 
& to contribute an improvement that will thrill me-- 
a thrill like birth, first sex, or dying-- 
& warm the hearts of those cold with anxiety 
or for lack of coats or bread, or a road, shoes, a vehicle, a vessel. 

I'm trying to comprehend myself & everyone else & where we are 
& what has happened so far & what is happening now 
&--carefully, so as not merely to pass on compulsions instilled in me 
at the kitchen table, in school, on the job, during elections, 
from maniacs no matter how respectable in books or seen on screens, 
justifications of wars & of plundering the waters, soils, & breezes, 
of doing whatever they did to whoever they did it, to achieve prominence-- 
carefully, yet lustily, joyfully--do what I can, for your good & mine, too-- 
for the good of whoever is living & whoever is to come-- 
for everyone's good, except those who have set themselves to gain 
at the expense of anyone who inconveniently gets in their way. 

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 uXu #592              Underground eXperts United 2001              uXu #592 
                               http://uXu.org/ 
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