Underground eXperts United File 573

eZine lover (@eZine)

Published in 

Underground eXperts United

 · 5 years ago

  

 
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                         Underground eXperts United 

                                 Presents... 

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         [  Forest Thump  ]                           [  By DIzzIE  ] 

 
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_)_)_)_)_)_(_(_(_(_(_ 
aight: 

presenting.....an eatwhileyoushit production, in 
association with fuckwhileyoukill unmotion 
antipictures: 

Forest Thump 

BY: DIzzIE 
-------------- 

[scene: forest thump is sitting on a bench, wearing 
short white shorts, gulping down chocolates, whith the 
chocolates smeared all over his face, zoom in on the 
side of the chocolate box: "BigMomma's Laxative 
Products," an old lady comes along] 

Forest: Hello M'am 
Lady: Hello son 
F: would u like a chocolate? 
L: no thanks sonny, Grandma's not falling for that one 
again...no siryeee 
F: my drunken-dadda always said: whores are like a box 
of sweet sweet cheap chocolates: you cant stop at one, 
you gotta eat the whole fucking box, and then go out 
and buy yourself another box, and then another one, 
until your wife finds out that you've been spending 
your money on chocolates and takes out her 
Winchester....... 
L: that's nice sonny, grandma's a little hung over 
from last night's Tequila and Bingo Bash, so would you 
mind shutting the fuck up? 
F: quite allright grand........[LOUD FART]OOOOOOOOOH! 
I say, i gots to go to the bathroom... 
[forest jumps up, and starts running in slow motion, 
the "eye of the tiger" song starts playing, there are 
lots of kids on the sides of the street holding vodka 
and Jack Daniel's whiskey bottles, yelling "you've got 
the runs Forest, you've got the runs!" 
slowly an unsightful bulge appears, you can see the 
brown staining his white shorts, then a thick brown 
liquid begins to drizzle down the side of his leg, 
leaving a trail on the sidewalk, insert a bunch of 
farts along the way] 
F: oh goodness, I darn gone and pooped in mah pahnts, 
daddy's g'nna beat me again... 
[forest finally reaches the bathroom, savagely pulling 
out a fishing/gutting knife and jabbing it into the 
guy who's already sitting on the toilet, killing him 
and pushing him out of the way] 
BathroomGuy: Hey what the fuck? You sick ass mother 
fucker, what the fuck are you doing? 
F:i be using the skills the american army taught us in 
vi-et-nam [all the while stabbing the guy] they call 
this the "carving contest" its what the americans did 
to all the vietnamese children, the ones whom they 
didnt use for sex anyway... 
BG: aaaaaagh, I'm dead..... 
[Forest successfully sits down on the toilet,the music 
stops. Absolute Silence. Then we hear a satisfying 
loud "thump" and forest slumps to the side, dead] 

--Fin!-- 
haha, wasn't that funny? no? fuck you too. 
email me: xcon0@yahoo.com 

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 uXu #573              Underground eXperts United 2000              uXu #573 
                               http://uXu.org/ 
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