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Underground eXperts United File 520
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Underground eXperts United
Presents...
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[ Aesthetics ] [ By The GNN ]
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AESTHETICS
by THE GNN/DCS/uXu
"... sexual intercourse. Masturbation. Going to the bathroom. Sneezing.
Coughing. Scratching yourself on various places. Sweat. Drinking. Eating.
Smoking. Breathing. Well, not breathing itself perhaps... but at least the
breath, it's usually revolting. The fact that you are made of flesh, bone
and blood. Shit. Piss. Semen. Being fat. Being thin. And so on."
She turned to the computer and switched it on. While it was booting, she
explained to the journalists that the oncoming manoeuvre was not immoral.
"I may do whatever I want with my body. You've told me so. I've read your
magazines for ten years. You've learnt me a lot."
One (of three) journalists stuck a microphone under her nose and asked
why she wanted to do it.
"Are you deaf?!" she shouted. "Didn't I just say so?"
"You dislike bodily functions?"
"DISLIKE? I HATE THEM!"
"But they are necessary..."
"For living in a body, yes."
What once upon a time had been a typical girl's room with posters on the
walls, records in a pile, clothes on the floor, expensive make-up products
scattered all over the place, and so on, had during the past two years been
transformed into a high-tech machine park. The girl in question, now being
nineteen years old, had constructed all the hardware herself. Today was the
big day; she was about to leave her body in favour of the cold machines. It
was therefore the little crowd of invited journalists had invaded her room.
"But what do your parents say?" one journalist asked.
"They are dead."
"Your boyfriend?"
"I don't have one."
"Are you a lesbian?"
"I AM NOT! I JUST DON'T WANT A BODY!"
Silence. The girl connected two cables to her head, sat down in the chair
in front of a computer keyboard and tapped down some incomprehensible code.
"And now," she said and theatrically raised her index finger high above
her head, "I give you: the magic!"
Her finger fell down on a key. No sound could be heard. But the moment
after, her body relaxed, slid of the chair and down on the floor. Her body
was dead. But according to what she had said earlier, she was not dead. The
amazed journalists leaned forward and stared at the monitor. They all
thought they had been fooled.
Until...
arithmetic and logic
it is so - beautiful
... came up on the screen. The journalists gasped and scratched furiously
in their notebooks.
"Fantastic!" one of the said.
"Incredible!" another said.
"The future..." the third one mumbled.
it is more fun to compute
I am now free
everything is now perfect
"How does it feel?" asked one of the journalists.
clean
"No regrets?" asked another.
none whatsoever
The journalists applauded spontaneously. They had seen something
extraordinary indeed. But they all knew what had to be done. The girl had
just shown them that their magazines would be flushed down the drain in the
future - if more decided to do like her. The journalists explained that
they were mighty impressed, but that they unfortunately had to do something
that could seem rather evil. But it was not! No, no! It was necessary! It
was for the sake of the young!
what?
They did not answer. They just turned the computer off, smashed it to
pieces and left the house. A couple of weeks later, three similar magazines
had similar stories. It was about a poor girl who was too ugly, too fat, too
alone, and had spent too much time with her computers. Suicide had been her
escape from the misery.
The magazines all told their readers to not be like her. Life was too
short for being self-destructive. Instead, they recommended their readers to
take precautions: lose weight (preferably with their proposed diets), get a
boyfriend (they had many advice for success) and of course continue reading
their magazines. Because much was to be learnt from them; they contained
everything a teenage girl needed to know for having a happy life.
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uXu #520 Underground eXperts United 1999 uXu #520
ftp://ftp.lysator.liu.se/pub/texts/uxu/
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