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Underground eXperts United File 500
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Underground eXperts United
Presents...
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[ Just A Number ] [ By The uXu Concept ]
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
'Just a Number' 500 FILES!
by the uXu YES YES YES YES YES!
5 0 0 WE (ALSO) MADE IT!
IT (ONLY) TOOK US EIGHT YEARS!
HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO
"The secret of popular writing is never to put more
on a given page than the common reader can lap off
it with no strain whatsoever on his habitually slack
attention."
(Ezra Pound)
we don't think so
and we never will
If you're looking for cheap entertainment, move on. This file is not for
you. It's for... someone else. Move on to alta vista. Search for sex.
Drop your pants in front of the monitor and express your only talent.
Now, for the rest of you who are still here...
This is a typical anarchistic textfile within the realm of electronic
underground writing. It has no real beginning or end. It is about nothing
special. No author? No specific one.
No layout.
No design, no credits, no spell checking, no grammar checking, no prestige,
hard to read, hard to understand. A bundle of opinions and beliefs
expressed in no systematic combination whatsoever.
These kind of files were very common, once upon a time.
We wrote it partially to celebrate the 500th file of the uXu.
But mainly as an homage to the last ASCII generation.
You see...
We are of what we believe to be the last recognizable generation of a
full-time, life-time writers dedicated to the american standard code
of information interchange.
We love being writers, but we cannot stand the paperwork. Therefore,
computers are exactly what - and the only thing - we need. When it comes
to the analogue world, we are like everyone else. We breathe, eat and
work. We have friends and family. But in the digital world, we are
esoteric and anonymous; few of us use our real names. We will never appear
in the culture section of your favorite morning paper, talking about
"post-modern projects". We will never show up in debates on television,
debating classic and modern prose in relation to "democratic alienation". We
will all die anonymous, and few will ever know who wrote the uXu files. We
do not tell you this to think that we are special, because we are not.
This is written in 1999, but it all started a long time ago, in an era of
romantic anarchy in digital publishing, a time when everything went, nothing
was too extreme, most people just wanted their Voice to be heard, not their
Face to be shown.
But we were of course not the first. We were far from the first, even. Ever
since the seventies people all around the world had discovered the freedom
inherent in the various machines for aretmetical and logical operations,
occasionally connected to each other thanks to ingenious protocols. And we
will not be the last. We are not the best. But certainly not the worst
either.
Like all e-zines in the ascii-industry we are grateful to the Cult.
Without them, who knows how the electronic world would have looked today?
What counted was not the Form, but the Content. Not because people simply
did not care about Form, but because they had no choice. The american
standard code of information interchange defines itself as text-only. Bright
green (or orange) text on a black screen, that's all you got, do the best
of it, if you can. If you're not interested in doing your best, do whatever
you can, no one will complain. They will just read.
Yeah, sure, some tried to make themselves bigger than they actually were
by lame attempts to charm the audience with sentences like hEy MaN IZ
n0t Th1Z C000L, but it never worked out. There are no short cuts to the
art of .txt - because it is only text, and text-only.
We wrote all the shit we wanted to write. We could do it, because we
were anonymous. We were not Persons, but Handles. Anonymous individuals
who could present whatever sick opinion we had - just for the sake of
it! Just for the sake of feeling "hey! I can write this! AND NO ONE WILL
STOP ME!" Try the same today... it's impossible. You are always Known,
Controlled, Examined, Valued, Rejected, And So On... FREEDOM! FREEDOM!
Modern technology made it possible for us to say whatever we wanted to
say, no matter if we meant it or not. Fantasies are nice, thoughts are
interesting, but they are to a certain extent strictly private. But modern
technology made it possible for us to share our private views, without
being shot down by a lynch mob of critics the next day. FREEDOM! FREEDOM!
Modern technology makes it possible for any mediocre philosopher to put
out some trite cliche' in big big capital letters, and get away with it,
because before the viewers mind says "what the hell is this shit?" the
screen explodes in cascades of pointless graphics. It is called "design",
but it is nothing more than color to cover up and hide the empty space
behind. Take your little hammer and carefully bang it against some of the
great statues of the Internet that has been erected during the past years.
What do you hear? It echoes - it is empty. It is nice to watch, it is big
and majestic - but it is empty.
This is our five-hundreth file. We ought to talk about ourselves in this
text, but what should we say? A lot, of course. But no one knows where
to begin. So why not let someone else talk about the uXu instead:
Electronic Magazines: UXU (Underground eXperts United)
Founded in 1991, based in Sweden, uXu is a good example of a textfile
endeavor where you can actually track the progression of a small social
group through nearly a decade. The files begin with descriptions of the
computer "scene" of Sweden, bombs, technology and eventually expands
over the years to journal entries, musings about philosphy, song lyrics,
interviews, and a bunch of nice fellows just letting you know what
they're up to. All in all, good solid quality and a fascinating study.
(Thank you, Jason at <www.textfiles.com>.)
Speaking of thanks............
There are do many people we would like to thank that we dare not even
try. If we did, we would most probably forget someone important. So,
instead of making someone sad, let us just say that we thank <PUT YOUR
NAME HERE>. You deserve it, you really do. We love you, we really do.
If we tried to thank all the people around the world who have contributed
to the existance of the uXu, we would certainly fail and forget someone.
Those of you who really deserves to be thanked know who you are.
Some deserves to be fucked in the ass. Those we can mention, they are
not many; in fact, only one. The uXu do not thank: the anonymous (what?
didn't you dare to state your name?) investigator at the swedish police
force who in 1993 called the uXu "a group dedicated to spreading textfiles
on the subject of terrorism". YOU KNOW NOTHING YOU ARE NOTHING YOU WILL
NEVER BECOME ANYTHING BUT THE UXU WILL LIVE FOREVER
But hey, let bygones be bygones.
Laugh and forget, love and remember.
and... oh... let us not forget our dear WRITERS!
*** WRITER'S GALLERY ***
First one: Joseph
Date: 1/1/96
Time: 5.30 A.M.
Place: Highway leading out of Uppsala
After a rather wet new-years eve, when the last bottle was finished, I
decided to walk home. Due to my intoxicated status I took the wrong way and
found myself walking down the highway to Stockholm. It had started to snow
and the freezing wind bit my cheeks. Vision was down to five feet and my
can of beer almost empty. I finally realised that I was lost - in my home
town. What to do? I argued with my drunken mind. Perhaps it was better to
turn around and take new directions from the last place I recognised? Nope,
wine and beer-fumes told me, if I walked on I would eventually, one way or
the other, come home. Most likely with the help from the local police, but
who cared. So, there I was, walking down the middle of the highway. Cars
honked their horns as they almost hit me in the blazing snow. By that time I
was really depressed and had almost lost all hope to find my way home. Then
I suddenly heard music! I turned my head and in a window not far away I saw
the blurred contours of a man leaning out, singing.
He spotted me and our eyes met.
"Can you drink?" he asked.
My throat was aching for alcohol so my reply was instant.
"Yes!" I shouted.
And so it began. My saviour turned out to be The GNN and he introduced
me that morning to the uXu. Looking back, I can clearly say that encounter
opened up a new world for me.
Second one: Hedge.
When I was around the age of 20, I came into contact with a guy who were
really into anarchistic stuff. He had books about lockpicking, how to make
bombs and any other non-normal book you can imagine. This guy also wrote a
lot of weird litterature on his old dusty Amiga and, as he told me,
everything got published.
Everything published? I asked myself. Who could be stupid enough to
publish anything written by this anarco-militarist? He talked about this
group which had a huge amount of readers, and how the texts were
distributed via the Internet. Internet was just becoming known to the
general public at this time, so I had little knowledge about what that
meant. Nor had I ever heard of the group he wrote for: the uXu.
During this period I was concentrating on my studies at the university,
and had built up a lot of frustration when it came to socio-political
issues, and the intellectual climate in Sweden at the time. uXu gave me the
chance to write about any thoughts I had, and they published them all,
uncensored. Now, they may not have been read by that many, but the sheer
possibility of someone reading them made my frustration a lot easier to
handle.
Some years have passed since I first started writing for uXu, and I don't
write as much nowadays. This is partly because I have a job which takes up
most of my time, and partly because I don't have same the inspiration I had
when starting out. Still, once in a while, I hack away at the texteditor.
It could be about anything, perhaps just some passing thought I feel I need
to put down in writing.
The comfort of knowing it will be seen is still as good.
Too much information
Runnin through my brain
Too much information
Driving me insane
(Police)
Third: Max West
I HAD NEVER HEARD OF THE uXu....
...until some months ago when the file came across my desk. It is now 3
o'clock A.M., no way I am going to sleep any time soon; my option list is
light and they're moving in. Down in front on the sidewalk, furtive
movement in the bushes and I haven't seen any sign of The Fatboy, (my
field operative), yet. I wonder if they got him too......
REPORT TO ICI:
Of the extensive amount of underground Cybersites investigated thus
far, one of the most suspicious was uXu; reportedly basing it's Earthside
strike force in Sweden, we found that no such organization, underground'
or otherwise, actually existed in this location. Though the documentation,
i.e, photos, e-mail etc., (did you see how they were holding up those
drinks? When we examined the photo enlargement, I saw empty vodka bottles
and prophylactics under one table), indicate that they obviously have the
resource and technology for convincing cover, I happen to know that their
true form is a sort of proto human-like shape which appears to be
constructed of small curd cottage cheese. The material flowing into the
site from various Cyber venues is at best, insalubrious, subversive and
obscene.....
"What's fuckin' "underground !" From Tony in front of the monitor
where she's cracking the site we need full profiles on all principals; I
would like to know what color underwear they prefer, providing they use
such articles, and if so, how often do they change etc.
"You are Tony. Your underground...." I had to tell her. Reports from
other districts were filled with wild rumor and innuendo about uXu, but I
can't believe they'd be involved in a royal assassination plot. I mean, if
you're a Cyber-entity, why bother? What are they really up to?
So far we haven't been able to determine their true M.O., or location
but something tells me it isn't going to matter in a few more minutes
anyway. Yeah, I can hear them outside they don't pretend to not be there,
they know by now that we can't escape. Goddamn uXu agents! They're all over
the place, their post-modern cut-out shadows already windmilling through
the room; scratching at the door....must...get...free....
Fourth: The GNN
Hey. How's it going?
Wanna know something? During the eight years I have been active, I have
written more than 250 textfiles for the uXu, 1500 pages crammed with pure
text. I tell you this to boast. I seldom get the chance. Anyway, in most
of these files, I have described lots of people and put them in various
situations. These people, the characters, do not exist, of course. But
I cannot help to think that I really would like to meet them, to see
how they are. "What?" you say, "What an absurd thought!" Yes, I know.
But I cannot help it. Maybe I will see them all when I die. Perhaps
there is such a place as a limbo of t-file characters, to where I will
go too and stand trial for everything I have done to them.
See you around.
uXu forever
Fifth: Speed Devil Show
What's wrong?
What's wrong?
I need something stronger.
I am someone else, in a new costume.
Fuck you, A.P./C.S., hope you die soon, and in pain. If you disrespect
my art one more time, I will end your life with my bare hands, asshole.
Sixth: Jericho / F.U.C.K.
uXu and me.
For those of you who don't recognize my name, I'm the editor of an e-zine
founded in 1993 called 'FUCK' (Fucked Up College Kids). In six years, we
have released 550 files, almost 25% of which were my own. So why do I
write for uXu? Two main reasons. First, uXu has continually produced a
steady stream of high quality files. By accepting my files, it lets me
know that others out there see some value in my writing or my message.
Second, uXu offers a chance to reach a completely different crowd and
solicit more diverse feedback. While it probably isn't recognized in our
lifetimes, e-zines like uXu will later be historical and noteworthy events
that helped shape the way we communicate online.
Last: Bravemoore
I started out as part of the behind-the-scenes uXu crew. I managed the
stage sets (lights & pyrotechnics mainly), but I also served a couple of
years as one of the road crew, i.e., driving one of the trucks.
During the uXu European Tour 1995, The GNN was supposed to read a poem
on stage as the final part of the two-hour show. The Chief and Phearless
was resting backstage, exhausted from their much appreciated, but now
discontinued show "Two men, one bike and a chainsaw" (due to a most
unfortunate accident).
The GNN had only recited two lines of the poem, when the timer controlled
fireworks suddenly blasted off behind him and literally burned off
everything on his back, including his skin. It took the surgeons six months
to put him back together, but almost one year before we two talked again.
Not because he couldn't, but because I was the one who set the timers
incorrectly.
But now, we're one big family once again, and during the annual uXu
conference in 1996, I was granted the status of "Official uXu Member."
One of the happiest moments in my life.
*** END OF WRITER'S GALLERY ***
(yeah, the other 65 writers dared not contribute...)
And now, the moment we have all been waiting for....
THE BRIEF HISTORY OF THE UXU SO FAR
-----------------------------------
Apart from the notorious logo, it all began in august 1991 with:
"Perhaps an introduction is due, and some sort of explanation why
this author starts a new group instead of writing for the group
he once founded and lead. This is the story."
Six months later, The Chief wrote in the fourth index:
"I thought that release #3 would be the last one."
But eight years (thousand years in computer years) and around seven
megabytes (3000 pages of real text) of English and Swedish .txt later, it
will, as always, for the moment, end with:
"If anything is unclear or if you want to get more material from
the uXu, please write directly to the editor: editor@uxu.org"
More to come. The united experts of the underground will live forever.
THE END
-------
Every day is a fresh beginning,
Listen my soul to the glad refrain.
And, spite of old sorrows
And older sinning,
Troubles forecasted
And possible pain
Take heart with the day and begin again.
("New Every Morning", Susan Coolidge)
Right. After all this, the uXu will go back to the normal, structured
and organised way again.
Greetings from Sweden, autumn of 1999.
See you all somewhere in The Netherlands 2001.
all questions go to: editor@uxu.org
all else: www.uxu.org
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uXu #500 Underground eXperts United 1999 uXu #500
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