Underground eXperts United File 416

eZine lover (@eZine)

Published in 

Underground eXperts United

 · 5 years ago

  

 
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                         Underground eXperts United 

                                 Presents... 

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         [  The Paradox  ]                            [  By Joseph  ] 

 
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The Paradox 
by Joseph 

 
One and every living soul would forget him. He knew for sure. A chinese 
saying he had read somewhere summed up his insights pretty well. Put your 
hand in a bucket of water, splash around; when you see the last waves die 
out, you understand how many traces you leave behind when you die. Of course, 
if you splash harder, the waves remain longer; but not forever. Like the 
ancient thinkers of China, he had come to the conclusion that it was no use 
splashing around. 
   Dinner time. His woman served him his last meal without knowing about it. 
Rather depressing entertainment. Friday evening, and you just have to put 
in a little extra. So fucking ordinary. A bottle of wine to go with the 
meal, well, maybe not so ordinary after all. Most people have a good 
but embarrassing booze entailing the evening dinner, staring at the shows 
on television; ending the night with some soft porn. When the brain has 
contracted into a pink raisin inside the cranium and the eyes are as red as 
the cheap wine that went with the meal - it is time for the late night 
education programs. Naturally. And you are satisfied with it. Because you 
know you are waiting for the right moment. Some day, or more like one day, 
you will show them all. But not today. Today, they are showing that great 
film on television and, hey, maybe you even got to screw your spouse 
afterwards. Naturally, one keeps the job. The wheel of squirrels, too hard 
to learn, it is hard to know, hard to understand. Especially when you notice 
that you would not have a lot of company. If you know, you can, you do - 
well, then you cannot stand it any more. 
   That was one of the reasons. Another was that he could not find an end to 
his sorrows. When he occasionally joined the people outside his home he did 
not find happy people. He saw the disabled. Old, ugly and stupid. Those 
which are despised. He saw sorrowness in the them, not pity, but something 
worse - outsiders. He could identify himself with those people. Those in 
a wheelchair. Those with a lazy eye. Those whom did not understand 
mathematics. You laugh at them. You laugh at them because they cannot do the 
things you can do. The laughing masses never ask themselves this question: 
these people, whom no one wants to have anything to do with, how do they 
compensate their shortcomings? Which talents, which we ignore, have they 
developed? 
   But this was something that deeply disturbed him. Who gives a shit? All 
these despised people - in front of whom can they demonstrate their talents? 
The worst part was probably that those which despised were in majority, 
followed by those who felt sorry and then those who could not really see the 
difference. Those who could not see why a physical handicap could be a 
problem at all. Those who only saw the person. Not the leg, not the lazy 
eye. This group of people was so small that it almost did not exist. Anyway, 
he could not look these physical and social freaks in their eyes. He was 
ashamed of his fellows and himself. 
   A more powerful reason was that he was always afraid. He could not go 
out at nights. He had seen and heard enough. You could die for a cigarette 
or a glass of beer. The very existence of people that performed such 
horrible deeds scared him. He was not ready to play with his life for a 
glass of beer or his cigarettes. 
   And therefore, out of these simple and slightly neurotic reasons, he 
would do something these people would never be allowed to do to him. He was 
well aware of the paradox. 

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 uXu #416              Underground eXperts United 1998              uXu #416 
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