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Underground eXperts United File 221
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Underground eXperts United
Presents...
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[ Escape Macabre, The ] [ By The GNN ]
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ESCAPE MACABRE, THE
by THE GNN/DualCrew-Shining/uXu
"lonely eyes, lonely face
I thought that I
was all there was to be"
(Waits, Tom)
What we cannot accomplish in our real lives, we live out in fake worlds.
Worlds, created by others or by our selves. Movies, music, books, alcohol,
drugs. They may all help us to escape from our boring selves and turn us
into something extra. Fantasy and imagination, for those who are gifted
with that special feature. No man would stand reality as it really is
forever. We call it entertainment, but in the end it is a result of
frustration. It is the escape macabre for creatures who are painfully
aware of their situation. It is a human disease.
We want so much we can never have, and that hurts. Since we only have a
brief moment in this world, we know that it would be a waste to do nothing
at all. But there is no point in just doing anything, we must do something
special. What is this thing called 'special'? Is it necessary the search
for affection from other people, the hunt for power and profit? Perhaps.
However, it seems as if they are only instruments for the real goal;
satisfaction. The feeling that one have actually done this special
something in the short moment of consciousness. The search becomes more
complicated as we realize that there are no clear rules of what is extra,
something special. Time flies, we have not got the time to find that out.
We lean back on what we regard as other people's desires. We try to analyse
what others believe is good and evil, right or wrong. Then we try to live
by their rules.
We live in a paradox, because we ought to be more aware of what we as
individuals want to do than what other people wants us to do. We have more
contact with our own sensations than others. But we do not dare to take
the risk to trust ourselves. Maybe we have desires that no one else has.
If we live by our own intuitions there might be a chance that they will not
be accepted by the majority. If our life style is not accepted - instead
rejected - by the population, we will never receive any affection, nor
satisfaction. Hence, we play by the rules of other people and keep our
dreams to the fake worlds.
It is the escape macabre, because almost everybody live like this. We
watch the goals of other people and make them our own. Even if we hate the
goals, the idea of life being mere work, we do not dare to stand out of the
crowd. We do not fancy people who are not like ourselves and we know that
other people think the same. Therefor, we conform and join the crowd, the
majority, the population.
In front of a movie, a word processor or a bottle of whiskey it is
different. There we can live in worlds that do not exist, but appeals to
us. There, we will escape the hard reality for a moment and spend some
time in a better world. In the real world we may not create much, but as
soon as we rush away to dream land we will become kings and queens.
"You shall not try to be someone else," people say. "You should always
strive to be yourself."
Be yourself - how is that possible? How come that people who are
regarded as 'people who are themselves' are admired? When we try to be
'ourselves', we hate it. We hate the little fool that is the real person
inside us. It is much better to conform again, try to find out what
other people think is a great person and live by their rules. That fails
too, we feel like clowns who participate in a show. We cannot play the role
as we want to, and in the end we believe that we look like complete idiots.
We go home and wonder how to play the role better. We watch movies to find
out, we write stories to create perfect persons and we drink alcohol to
relax and forget. We admire the one who we believe is him- or herself,
simply because they have something we believe that we have not.
We are victims of the majority, we are a part of the majority, hence we
are victims of ourselves. Sooner or later we die, and perhaps we have
succeeded in the task of soften our own pain. We live and die like
dreamers. Those who we regard as successful people do not fancy their
situation more than we do. No one ever reach the complete satisfaction.
We need the escape macabre. It does not matter if we are young and
foolish or grown and mature. If it was not available we would fade away,
like shadows in the evening. The escape macabre is our own personal dawn.
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Beyond the minimal state.
Let us all get lost at FTP.LYSATOR.LIU.SE /pub/texts/uxu
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Come out and Play.
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uXu #221 Underground eXperts United 1994 uXu #221
Call METALLAND SOUTHWEST -> +1-713-468-5802
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