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Underground eXperts United File 189
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Underground eXperts United
Presents...
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[ Methods For Creating A Paranoid Lifestyle ] [ By The GNN/Hedge ]
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METHODS FOR CREATING A PARANOID LIFESTYLE
written by HEDGE and THE GNN
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Things and questions to ponder:
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1) An accident is not always an accident.
2) There is always something going on behind your back.
3) Friendly people are never friendly because they like you.
4) A telephone is not a device for communication, it is a
"Give-Away-Your-Private-Life-To-The-Authorities"-device.
5) Never trust a "Walk" sign when crossing a road.
6) Always test a food recipe on someone else before you eat.
7) When a friend loans you money it is a sure sign of 3).
8) Never trust a female.
9) Never trust a male.
10) Let your friend start the car.
11) Your apartment is bugged.
12) Let the dog open all your mail.
13) Do not respect warning signs.
14) Your parents know:
a) They want you to take care of them when they get older.
b) They forgot to use a condom.
c) They failed the abortion.
15) No one likes you, get that straight dumb-ass!
16) You believe you are nothing, but trust me... you are the star when it
comes to the global conspiracy.
17) You are the third person who reads your mail. The sender reads it, then
the police reads it and finally you.
18) An instruction book for any advanced electrical device can easily be
manipulated. Take precautions: Wear rubber shoes and turn on your new
toaster.
19) A sniper is watching you through his gunsight at this very moment.
20) A quiet friend is the one who has your apartment bugged.
21) Do you know what is inside your TV?
22) Your wife fakes orgasms in bed.
23) A tourist with a camera is not always a tourist.
24) Voting is not democracy. It is a way to find out where your sympathies
lies.
25) Who installed your computer?
26) Can you hear your neighbor? He can hear you.
27) They can see you. They can hear you. They are just waiting for the
right moment.
28) How long has that blue van been standing outside your house?
29) Your relatives are not your relatives. They work for a foreign power.
30) Do you know what the bartender just put in your drink? I know.
31) Your pet is a advanced tapping device. Just cut it open and find out.
32) New postman? Suspect a conspiracy.
33) All music contains hidden messages that makes you do things you never
wanted to do.
34) One word: Russia.
35) Another word: U.S.A.
36) Some other words: Your government.
37) They always blame you.
38) More words: Your government is allied with the other words.
39) You are expendable.
40) Do you know what really happens to your credit card slips? Haha...
41) You are not meant to read this file.
42) Behind you!
43) What is that chopper doing there?
44) It is a shame that you do not own a gun... You will need it tomorrow.
45) Garbage looters are government spies.
46) Everybody, except you, pisses in the swimming pool.
47) Are you sure that the lamp in your refrigerator turns off when you
close the door?
48) A beautiful day is a good day for work. The police thinks that too.
49) Fear darkness.
50) Fear sunlight.
51) When you are asleep, others are awake.
52) Are your dreams really your dreams?
53) Everything you do is monitored.
54) The real party begins when you leave.
55) How could your neighbor afford such an expensive car?
56) How could your wife afford such an expensive fur?
57) How come the telephone only rings when you are at home?
58) Your teacher, boss, wife, child, superior and friend are all parts of
something you are not.
59) Is there a trap door under your airplane seat?
60) Truths are lies. Lies are truths.
61) Your world was created just to find out how you behave.
62) Why is that girl being so nice to you?
63) Your family tree is confidential information.
64) Your childhood was unhappy. Even if you deny it.
65) Suspect something if someone visits you.
66) Suspect something if no one visits you.
67) Your cat was not killed by a car. It was taken in for questioning and
then executed.
68) They created the word "friendship" just to make you feel secure.
69) You are at the right place for them at the wrong time for you.
70) Always think ahead.
71) A surprise could kill you.
72) Death is always painful. They have told you that suicide is painless,
just to get you going.
73) There is no God.
74) Things never seen are always worth knowing. Too bad you never see them.
75) Your child is growing fast. Is it the same person?
76) Is it the same news in your paper as in your neighbors?
77) Explosives are easily hidden.
78) If you look under your bed, you will be killed.
79) Is the closet door open when you go to bed? Never mind closing it, it
will be open in the morning anyway.
80) There are no ghosts. It is only your government.
81) George Orwell was your only friend.
82) They always smile before they stab you.
83) Death is a liberator.
84) Never show feelings. It will be used against you.
85) Do not let them see you drunk.
86) Do not let them see you at all.
87) Use the sewer for transportation.
88) What is behind your mirror?
89) Do not read your mail. Do not answer the phone. Do not talk to anyone.
90) Just wait.
91) Never sleep at the same place twice.
92) The government invented your hangover.
93) Who controls your thoughts?
94) Your fingerprints are everywhere.
95) You have always overlooked something important.
96) They have enough evidence.
97) Someone is laughing at your sexual habits at this very moment.
98) No one will tell you about your bad breath.
99) Try living as normal as possible while you are trying to understand
what is actually going on.
100) Who ACTUALLY wrote this?
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uXu #189 Underground eXperts United 1994 uXu #189
Call THE KUNGFU THEATRE -> +1-401-351-5345
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