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Underground eXperts United File 178
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Underground eXperts United
Presents...
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[ How To Talk With ET's... ] [ By Budha & Greg Iloyd ]
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HOW TO TALK WITH ET'S WITHOUT BEING MURDERED WITH RESONANT-RAMAN RAYS
by BUDHA (without Nirvana) & GREG iloyd (without IQ)
As you all can guess, RAMAN rays are produced in the inner sexual
gonades of the extraterrestrial world's inhabitants. But we, human beings,
are totally insensible for such radio-frequent love signal and it's
interpreted as misapprehension. This make those extremely advanced
creatures pissed off, and frequently leads to death or severe corporal
damages.
Now you are able to establish immediate third grade contacts.
First step: The E.T.'s starship landed in your backyard.
- Act as naturally as possible, try to show a pathetic smile (it's a
universal language, two hypothesis can be considered here: they will
love you as a Panda-bear or, if they are germanic descendants, you
can initiate the World War Three, it's up to you to analyse the accent.)
Second step: They ask you to use the toilets.
- It's OK, because it's represents a first signal of excitation of
female of any kind of living being (also your wife, off course,
brrr...). Now any mortal would take a look at the keyhole. You've
seen the females, their pussies are shining bright...Beware, these
are the RAMAN rays! (You are immune to this sensual proof of well
being) but beware, if you don't take sufficient care you could make
love with an electronic photographic flash (what bright idea!)
with several burns in your ...your family album.
Third step, more dangerous: They get out of your toilets, they've just
changed their TAMPAX and they are hornier.
- You pretend indifference, try to talk to your dog and if you don't have
one search for one. It's not necessary talkin' to a dog, you can talk
to a cow, cat, rat, Mickey Mouse or any other stupid animal. Otherwise
you can argue that you have a telephone call. The last hope is a
physiological need like shitting.
Last step: they went away.
- They gave you one buck for cleaning service and got their ass out.
The females were menstruated and radioactive vaginal secretions
contaminated your W.C. (what a mess) That's not all, they were tourists
and were space-sick.(Oh Thor!). But you are very happy, you could earn
a Californium-coin of incalculable value and you lost 30 year of your
life due to radioactivity diseases. You got a unique phosphorescent
latrine too (the best souvenir you can get in your live). And don't
forget, you must keep smiling with your pathetic face.
CONCLUSION:
You are an asshole because E.T's abused of your confidence. The
conclusion is that they don't speak, they communicate by radio-
frequency electromagnetic waves and make love with pulsated
lasers. Sorry, boy.
NOTE: Some recent and very confidential reports from NASA concerns
about the strong signals received at 15,554.222 kHZ from deep space.
Our bright researchers attribute such signals to spacial bacanal.
N.B. All gays are curious.
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uXu #178 Underground eXperts United 1994 uXu #178
Call LHDý -> +1-818-546-2332
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