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Underground eXperts United File 119

  


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Underground eXperts United

Presents...

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[ ...As If Every Day... ] [ By The GNN ]


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"...AS IF EVERY DAY..."
by THE GNN/DualCrew/uXu

"We are about to go all systems out"
(The Force Dimension)


Nothing matters to me any more. Behind my dark glasses I can see the
world in a complete new vision. Life, death, love - they are only words.
My black suit fits me alright. The mirror shows me - or maybe not. The
person in front if me is a welcomed stranger. An individual who has lived
inside me all the time and now finally got the chance to live.
Live. Live forever. Childish thoughts. No one can live forever but
everybody believes that they will. Fuck them. Fuck all who imagine that
they are something special.
The gun is placed in a holster on my right. It is not visible, it is
hidden under my wonderful black suit. The face is smiling. It is me - or
maybe not. We are about to go all systems out. Turn off the switch and
everything goes black. Sleep...

- I see...
- We can offer you help and support.
- No thanks, I think I can handle this myself.
- Are you sure? Please let us help you.

- Get out of the car, bitch!
She looks at me with her mouth open. She wants to scream but does not
dare to. I grab her and drag her out of the car. She falls to the wet
asphalt, still with her mouth open. I get into the car. It is a small
japanese shit vehicle, made to fool all the customers in this country.
Fuck them. The headlights throws away a cold rug over the street as I
roar away in the night. I watch the girl get to her feet behind me and run
away.
She had no reason to fear. I am not cruel. I still have feelings for
beauty in this world. Others should fear.
But how could they? I have not warned them. I will not either. They
just have to accept what is coming to them. It is coming real fast.
I have a long journey in front of me. It does not bother me, it will be
a pleasure. Father time is on my side. God will help me get justified.

- Time is short.
- I know.
- Please, let us help you. There are professional...
- No. No way!

The night is clear. Small rain drops are crushed against the windscreen.
They do not make up any dreams. They fall and disappear, and when they are
gone - no one remembers them. There are billions of them. For a short
time they live, then they are gone. Gone! As if nothing happened.
Religion, media, politics... Ha! Let them live in their dreams. Let
them believe that they are creating something. I will create, I will do
what I want to do.
Look at those shadows that walk around us! They float around, with no
goal (correction: with no REAL goal). They exist, then suddenly they do
not any more! What a surprise! Hey, they scream. Hey! What about my
goals? What about my LIFE? I had so much to do, I had everything in front
of me! What now? This cannot be true! Something is really fucked up!
Help me!
No one listens. Why would they? The shadows have other things in mind.
The conclusion explains all questions: it will never happen to me.
It will. Tough luck.
I was fooled - yes, I admit that. But now, I understand. When you are
confronted with the final truth, when it crawls under your skin and shows
its ugly face - you will understand too.

- Mother...
- Yes, my son?
- I... must tell you something.
- You sound strange? Is something wrong?
- Yes... it really is...
- Tell me! Let me help you! What has happened! Tell me!
- Mother...
- Tell me!

I love this black suit. I look really sharp in it. My black sun-glasses
are perfect. The automatic pistol is even better. I bought it a long time
ago to protect my life.
Major domination!
It will be used for its real purpose, I promise. It will be used to
explore the darkest closet of existence. Meaning of life, will be clear to
me. The gun is only a tool to help me go through with this. My mission is
to crush the corruption. Not all corruption, that is impossible. But
maybe, just maybe, my small contribution can help. Or maybe not.
This is a sick world. A really rotten, stinking world. The world itself
is not very bad. But the attitudes suck bigtime. Be something, do
something, live forever.
Run with the pack or follow the leader.

- I will...
- Say it!
- I... I cannot.
- Say it! It will help you! Confess the truth to yourself!
- FUCK YOU!

Yeah, fuck you! I park the car a few blocks away from his house. The
night has turned into morning. Birds sing and the red sun slowly makes its
way into the sky. I walk towards the entrance.
Then I stop. I hesitate! I really do!
So what if I do? Would you like to make something out of it? Why do we
not live in paradise? Who constructed this vision? Is it all a dream that
we will wake up from with a scream, or with a smile? Will someone bend
over my face and ask we if I enjoyed it?
Questions, questions...
Fuck them. My steps are convinced. I knock hard on the door. For the
first time in my life I am lucky. He opens the door. He asks me who I am.
Who I am! Remember me, I say and laugh! I am that small kid who faced
the hard ground while you stood on my head! Remember?
He says nothing. That is fine with me. I place the gun to his head and
pull the trigger.
It is not like in the movies.

- Say it!
- FUCK YOU!
- Say it!
- I will die! I will really die!
- Good...

I have a long journey in front of me. People have to be visited. They
will have to confront me again and remember me! All of them. They would
not have understood the meaning of life anyway. I have. I have
understood. I am just a fart in the hard wind. The only way to be seen,
is to catch the day. I takes a hard blow to your chin to get the facts.
Someone or Something have to grab you by your shoulders and shake you
violently until you realize that you-are-absolutely-nothing.
Unless you try. Let us catch the day!

- Now say everything that feels hard for you to say.
- Please...
- Say it! You have to! You must fight your depression!
- I have brain cancer. I have less than six months to live.
- Fine. Use these months with care!

I sure do! I sure do... Next stop will be my ex-wife. Let us catch the
short day before it is too late!
I am about to go all systems out.


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Feel the tension! We are in the beat!
SEDES DIABOLI +46-586-NOTTOBEFUCKENWITH!
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We gave up using animals because we thought it was too cruel.

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uXu #119 Underground eXperts United 1993 uXu #119
Call SEDES DIABOLI -> +46-586-43766
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