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Underground eXperts United File 125
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Underground eXperts United
Presents...
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[ They Are Coming ] [ By The GNN ]
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"THEY ARE COMING"
by THE GNN/DualCrew/uXu
A play.
Properties: Two chairs, placed towards the audience.
Actors: Two, "A" and "B". Dressed in neutral clothes.
"B" carries a small bag.
A voice through a loudspeaker.
The beginning:
The two actors make their way to the chairs, pretending
that there is a crowd around them.
A: Hey, there are two free seats!
(they being to make they way. A walks first.)
A: Sorry... excuse me... thank you.
(B follows A. They sit down.)
B: Perfect view! Perfect...
(B places the bag in front of himself. A looks at his wrist watch.)
B: Thank god, that it is not raining.
A: Twenty minutes left...
B: Aha.
(they look at the sky.)
A: He, I told Anna that I only got one ticket! I did not want her to
be here. This is for men only!
B: (Laughing) You are an asshole!
A: (Laughing)
(A and B looks at the sky)
A: Got the camera?
B: Yep!
(B reaches for the bag. Before he is able to reach it he stands up. A
also stand up. A person (not present) walks past them. They sit down
again. B opens the bag and grabs a small pocket camera)
B: A new film... ten bucks... unfuckingbelivable.
A: K-mart?
B: No way! I wanted a bit more pro equipment for this occasion.
A: But...
B: Yeah, yeah. The camera is a bit old, but it is the film that makes
the pictures. If my pictures are really good, maybe I can sell them
really expensive to some paper...
(they have to stand up again and let a person pass).
A: How many seats are there in this row?
B: Too many. Hey, maybe we can get a better view over the landing area
if we...
A: Forget it. I will not move.
(they look at the sky again. B takes a picture of the sky.)
A: Why did you do that?
B: Looks good.
A: Good...
B: You know, "before", "after" and so on...
A: Forget about making money of your pictures. Look at those guys on the
other side.
(A points)
B: Shit...
A: That is what I call cameras!
B: Damn, should have guessed that half of the worlds leading newspapers
are here tonight.
A: Correct my friend. So simply concentrate on taking family pictures.
(they look at the sky. After a while A looks down)
A: GET DOWN!
(A grabs the head of B and drags him down)
B: What the...
A: The television is taking pictures of the crowd! Imagine if Anna is
watching this!
(after a while, they dare to look up again)
(A and B looks to the left. A speaker is heard)
S: Ladies and gentlemen! Please notice that there is now only ten minutes
to touchdown!
(A stands up and shouts)
A: Get ready folks! Invasion from Mars! Invasion from Mars!
(B grabs him and pulls him down)
B: Calm down...
A: Was that not funny?!
(A laughs hysterically.)
B: Indeed.
(they look at the sky)
A: Give me a cigarette.
B: Have not got any.
A: WHAT?
B: I decided to quit. In this modern age, I feel that it is a bit...
primitive... to smoke.
A: Damn... I really needed one right now.
(B look at the sky.)
A: Does not the landing area look a bit small for a flying saucer?
B: Are you an expert, or what?
A: I mean, in "Alien" the space cruisers are enormous...
B: I think the crew in charge know EXACTLY what they are doing.
(they look to the left again)
S: If you want to buy the complete messages from the aliens then come to
the information tent! Two dollars each!
A: Sick! People still tries to make money on everything nowadays!
B: Yeah, the tickets...
A: I mean, what will they THINK about us? Will they be forced to drink
Coke? Will the pope invite them to tea, and charge a couple of
dollars?
B: Well...
A: Hey! I bet that NASA will make them pay for the landing area when
they have landed!
B: Why not a parking ticket?
(B laughs. A looks at the sky.)
B: What the hell...
A: What?
B: Look at that kid!
A: Oh my god...
B: What is he doing? How the hell did he get to the landing area?
A: Is it a sign he is holding?
(they look)
A: Do...not...trust...them... "Do not trust them".
B: Weirdo! Ah, now the police is finally coming!
(they look.)
A: He! That nightstick knew where to hit!
(they look. B takes a picture.)
B: Hope our friends above us did not see that. They might have changed
their mind then.
A: Sure they did. But they must have crazed people aboard too that they
have to beat. Or shoot. You know, like in the army.
B: Have you been in the army?
A: Seen a lot of films from WWII...
B: Ah...
(B looks away and grins)
(they look at the sky)
(the look to the left)
S: Five minutes! Five minutes, folks!
(they look at the sky)
A: Hope they are unarmed...
B: Chill out... if they wanted to invade us would they let us know when
and where they were coming?
A: No, but...
(B raises his feet and stamps on the floor.)
B: Got you!
A: What?
B: A cockroach dared to walk in front of my deadly shoes!
A: Aha...
(they look at the sky)
A: Why?
B: What?
A: Why? Why did you kill that cockroach?
B: They make me sick. We have them all over our house! Cannot stand to
see a healthy insect!
(B laughs.)
A: I see...
(B looks at the sky.)
A: But...
B: Now what?! Do not tell me that you have grown interested in cockroaches!
Bah, bah... liberate the insects! Free Mandela!
A: He is not an insect... is he not free?
B: Yeah, yeah, yeah...
(B looks at his wrist watch)
B: Less than three minutes. Can you see anything? Should they not be
visible by now?
A: Mmm...
(B looks at the sky.)
(they look to the left.)
S: Important message! The aliens have been delayed! We will wait for
further information. Please remain where you are!
B: And I thought that they were perfect! But even they can be late! Feels
good somehow...
A: What if they are perfect?
B: What do you mean?
A: Perfect. Better, more clever than we are.
B: They ARE! How would they manage to travel all the way from behind Alfa
Centauri otherwise?
A: What if...
B: What if What?
A: What if... they are superior to us?
(A and B looks at each other)
B: I do not quite follow you... would that matter? Look, I go and visit
by mom sometimes and I feel rather superior since I have a well-payed
job and...
A: That was not my point!
B: Then what DID you mean then? You know, I am really confused now. Have
you been smoking something or what?
A: I do not smoke grass, you do! If you have not ruined your brain with
that shit, you might have...
B: Please...get...to...your...fucking...point!
A: You are a human. Your mom is a human. In that way, you are far from
intellectually superior to her.
B. You have...
A: And you do not crush her under your foot when she gets irritating!
(B looks down and studies the dead cockroach.)
(they look at each other.)
(they look at the sky.)
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I feel you. If you feel for a free callback service where
angels sing then do call SEDES DIABOLI +46-586-43766
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The Spectator Cartoon Book.
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uXu #125 Underground eXperts United 1993 uXu #125
Call THE PHROZEN REALM -> +1-514-738-2105
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