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Twisted Young Minds Expand 064
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=| T.Y.M.E. - Twisted Young Minds Expand | #64 by the ccon crew | jul 96 |=
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ComiCon Intl. 1996 Review
\=---------------------=/
Thursday
\=----=/
_vYrus' view_
thursday morning at 6:30am, i was the first one up. i couldn't remember what
time pinguino had told us we had to get up, so i woke her up and asked. turns
out it was 7:00. i got up anyway and put the newly updated penguin palace
page online (http://www.napanet.net/~vyrus/penguin), and we pretty much
putzed around until we left at about 8:00.
when we got to the con, we had a few problems. pinguino and tsk went inside
to unload the booth stuff, and me and tymat got stuck outside. for over an
hour, since the guard working the double doors we had originally been waiting
at decided to close them. we waited in front of the security entrance until
about 10:40, when we finally ran into pinguino who was about to leave the con
to go to the airport to pick up daniel fu, author of thief.
tymat and i finally got to go in, so we went inside, went to the penguin
palace booth, set up the computer and a few more things, and i wandered off
to look around. i can definatly say that the marvel, dc, and wizards of the
coast booths were pimp shit. excellent displays, lots of stuff to look at. i
also caught a glimpse of an excellent shirt. it said "don't panic", with the
little green dood with arms on it. if you've never read douglas adams, this
just flew right over your head.
i walked around for hours, occasionally running into pinguino. tymat spent
most of the day sleeping, as usual, and tsk was running the booth all
morning. i just wandered inside, went outside every once in awhile for a
smoke, and just enjoyed myself.
by afternoon, i had met daniel fu, who was back with pinguino, lord jazz,
anarchist, todd pluciennik, and his woman colleen. pinguino and tsk were
about to leave for the airport again to pick up dbringer, so i went with
them. went to the airport, fairly uneventful, and came back.
i fell asleep around 6 or 6:30, and slept until 7. then we left. twelve of us
walked to a little diner called ruby's, and four of us split off and went to
mcdonalds instead since we didn't want to wait around. me, db, ld, and tymat
all took the shuttle to mcdonalds, and then say in front of the hotel talking
until pinguino showed up to let our dumb asses in.
in. so much happened inside. i'm gonna try and say it all. the mcdonalds
crowd went upstairs while ping went to go watch a fireworks show. tsk had
arrived and he came upstairs with us. the mcd's crowd sat in the hotel room
and smoked a nice fat joint, while tsk complained the whole time about the
smell. we eventually aired out the room, but the hallway reeked of weed for
about twenty minutes.
in search of food and drinks, we (all but tsk) went out to look for a soda or
candy machine. on our floor, we found an empty soda machine. much more
searching around revealed a soda machine on the eighth floor, which we all
bought a couple sodas. dbringer discovered a service elevator behind the
machines, and went off to take a peek while me and a couple others fucked
around.
we met up with db a little while later, and he announced he had found that
the service elevator led to a bar totally stocked. as of this typing
(thursday night), he is planning to find some bolt cutters. =) updates when
something happens. =) him and tymat went off to raid the place of everything
but the locked up stuff, and when we came back to the room, we found a giant
sign that read "Come Celebrate With Us!" on top of a san diego skyline and
some gay yellow and blue fireworks explosions. kinda funny to see it sitting
on the bed.
after db and tymat came back the second time, we were all lazing around and
watching tv when the front desk calls. "excuse me, we have three people down
here saying they're in your room, but you already have five and a room can
only hold four." aw shit. i'm not even going to go into that big fucking
mess, but the end result was that me, ping, db, and tsk are all staying in
the room, todd, his chick, and dan fu went to todd's grandmother's house, and
ld and tymat are supposed to sleep in the film room back at the con, but at
this current moment, tymat is crashed on the bed and ld in a chair. (and db
is sitting here watching me type this thing. =))
and that's about where we are right now. since the other four are asleep, db
is about to FALL asleep, and i'm wide awake, i think it's time for some late
night "fucking-with-the-sleeper" games. woohoo!@#
.vy.
Friday
\=--=/
kind of a kick back day so far. i didn't get up until 12:30, when pinguino
woke me up, and i took the shuttle with her to the con. the con was fairly
uneventful, except for the fucking seminar that pinguino signed me up to do
with her.
for the first forty-five minutes of it, we were waiting for the previous
dipshit to clear out, and then we couldn't do anything since we were missing
some equipment, like the screen projecter for the moniter. so we ended up
talking to a crowd of maybe twelve people, nine of which we already knew. =)
the only funny/cool part was that tsk ended up doodling for some guy that
works for dark horse and activision, and i caught him on film. ah! shit!
caught in the act, eh, tsk?
end of that. putzed around. i went back to the hotel with dbringer, but
before he went inside, he went on a beer run. and picked me up some smokes,
too. pretty cool. we sat inside and drank a few beers, and pinguino showed
up. we ditched the beers and the bottles under the bed, and i was sitting on
the bed buzzing pretty nicely. thank god she couldn't smell the shit on my
breath. =) went to wendy's later on. before wendy's, we also met lee
anderson. woohoo. the infamous. er33t.
after wendy's, me, db, and ld came back. db and ld went to the bar to check
it out, and i set up the computer to start work on this damn thing. most
likely later tonight i will be too drunk to write, but i'll try, we'll see
what happens. =) pinguino came back, we hid our beers, and that's where we
are right now.. lots of the night left, and who knows what'll happen, so i'll
keep an update. wh00t.
quick update: pinguino just told me she tasted it on my breath. (ON my
breath, goddammit, ON my breath. NOT IN, ON. =)) ahwell. so i didn't get away
with it. but we'll see.
/---------------------------------------------------------------------------\
note from dBringer: I bought 12 mgd's at the liquor store down the road...
Did I mention I'm 16? Oh well... I had heard that pinguino didn't want
alchohol or pot in the hotel room so when she came in me and ld hid our beer.
(Someone is getting brutally killed on TV right now... X-Files I think.) I
asked ping if she minds if we drink after 15 minutes of hiding our beers and
taking drinks when she isn't around. She said, "Okay..." so we both pull out
half drunk beers. She says she wants all of the bottles out of the room
eventually so I pulled out all five empty bottles from under the bed.
Everyone laughs. Maybe I'll get mujahadin over here and we'll go get some
samuel adams... That would be cool.
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------/
this is fucking funny.. right now we are in the hotel room fucking with some
guy on a radio that tymat got from the doubletree hotel. db is flirting with
him and me and ld are watching him walk back and forth on the street below.
this guy is totally trying to zero in on us, and db is completely fucking
with him. ping and tsk left to go back to the con and grab some food for us,
and tymat is trashing over at the pac bell CO. what a wild night. i'm half
drunk and we're having a blast.. i'm keeping this notepad window open (i hate
win95) and whoever wants to write is gonna. bewm.
/---------------------------------------------------------------------------\
note from dBringer: I think ld drank urine.
anoter note from dBringer: ld doesn't think it was piss.
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------/
---
another note from ld, it was water you fucks. <g>
---
ahahaha... weird shit... well.. we're waiting for this fucking porno to come
on and pinguino still hasn't come back yet.. some dood from room 608 came
by... from icons or something.. heh.. well. anyway. i'm having a smoke and
i'm pretty drunk. so. i'll fill you all in tomorrow.
.vy.
Saturday
\=----=/
the fucking porno never came on. i think we are all going to throw a fit if
we get charged for it. i can't remember the end of last night, except someone
was throwing shit at me and pinguino. ld still doesn't believe he drank piss.
=)
got up about 11:30 this morning, and me and db were the last ones in the
room. i went to the con and hung out in the pro lounge for a while, and
putzed around most of the day. it's been real slow. so i came back to the
room, after wondering where db had been for the last three hours, and on my
way i got stopped by some bum drunk guy.
"hey man, wanna buy a bus pass? good for the rest of the month." fucking
weird. i don't even live here. he asked for some change and tried to make an
exit, but the weirdo walked ahead of me, swearing at thin air. too much booze
addles thy brain, asshole.
i'm back in the hotel. supposedly we're gonna see a few movies tonite back in
the con, and i am gonna grab a few z's. i hope db buys more beer tonite...
sodium's here! uh oh.
_..later.._
DEATHBRINGER IS A FUCKING IDIOT.
we went out and bought some beer, and db drank his 40 in about two minutes.
then he goes out and steals a fucking fire extinguisher, brings it back to
the room. he leaves again with it, sprays it all over tymat and the ice
machine, and a couple minutes later we hear sirens. the fire truck pulls up
RIGHT in front of our window. db bolts out the door, and me, tymat, and tsk
are gong nuts because we're hella freaked.
lord jazz blew chunks all over the sidewalk and in the bathroom. the hotel
room stinks of something that tymat tore off the window. uh. what IS that
shit?
pinguino calls and starts laughing and then gets scared and tells us we don't
know who db is.
ugh. i quit that. about 12:00 me, db, and tymat went back to the con, watched
some stupid anime flick called A.D. Police Files ][, and came back cuz it
sucked. i snuck another beer away from the sixer and am drinking it right now
because db is stupid and he fell asleep. ahahaha. sodium has been doodling
all night, so nobody will let me touch the fucking computer since they've all
been drawing doodles all night. tsk is talking in his half-sleep, and sodium
is going to die because he just ganked my beer. my friends are gonna love
this.
on the way back from the con, tymat picked up a sign that says "no parking
any time". ld and anarchist are being stupidfuckers and waving a flashlight
around, wishing they were at a rave. instead, they are at doodlecon 96 and
wishing they were somewhere else right now. sodium is playing with the mouse
and tymat is wrapping his dumb ass up in toilet paper. ld and anarchist are
dying to watch a porn. (don't tell anyone, but i think those two are going to
have some funky buttsex tonite. ld and him are singing "penis, penis, penis,
penis"... god knows what THEY'RE thinking? ahahahah...)
*** NEWS FLASH BY SODIUM ***
hi. i rock. and everyone here sucks.. and ld's panties smell like tuna.. or
so he brags. and vYrus is dancing on the bed with a samuel adams... in fact..
here is a list of who drank, how much, and who got wasted..
* people who drank and how much:
tymat: a 40oz and one beer
sodium: a 40oz
vYrus: a 40oz and eight and a half beers
death bringer: 35oz corona and eight beers and a 40oz
lordjazz: two beers and urine lager.
* who got loaded and acted like fucking retards and talked to the signs and
beat the shit out of the elevator...
tymat
vYrus
* which brings me to my next subject.. what exactly did tymat and vYrus do?
1. vYrus yelled at the ceiling in the bathroom and ripped it apart and spit
french fries all over the mirror.
2. tymat got mad at sign and beat the living piss out of it.
3. tymat not only wore a suit he stole from upstairs but he also ripped the
window covering and wore it as a cape... "eyem supermaaan!"
4. tymat (again) stole no parking sign.
5. tymat buttfucks statue.
6. tymat toilet papered pinguino's computer and himself. the dumbass.
7. tymat wanted to kick every cops sorry ass.
(vYrus just spit on the wall..oh..now the television......and tymat.)
* INFAMOUS QUOTES?!@#$
"i didn't fuck her!!!" - vYrus
"i aint drunnnk! gimmie another beer!" - tymat
"blaaugh$@^$@^ugh...uhhhhh.... i dont feel good." - lordjazz
"my panties smell like tuna." - lordjazz
"do it in the bushes!" - anarchist
"i never heard the word d00dleboy until like a few weeks ago" - sodium
"why don't we quote everything we say!" - death bringer
"you don't know death bringer. don't let him in!" - pinguino
"if you take the last sam adams then i cut your hand off!" - death bringer
"i suck. fuck me." - sodium
"i gotta pee!" - the silent killer
"i gotta pee!" - tymat
"i gotta pee!" - vYrus
"i gotta pee!" - sodium
"you guys are fucked up (drunk) tsk is in charge." - pinguino
"i'm gunna puk..aUUUghbluagh$@#$." - anarchist
"i'm not THAT drunk." - vYrus
"those sirens better not be headed this way." - anarchist
"porno! porno! porno! porno! porno!" - lordjazz and anarchist
"this whole thing sucks" - anarchist
"don't fart this way!" - anarchist
"i can't type these that fast!" - sodium
"you all suck. i should quit the scene." - sodium
"four days and i STILL haven't gotten any twelve-year-old pussy!" - lOrdjazz
"what's this wet spot on the floor." - vYrus
"stop touching me." - vYrus
"i don't fuck joyce (pinguino) with my foot!" - vYrus
"what do you fuck her with?" - the silent kunt
"i didn't fuck her!!!" - vYrus
* Why i suck.
I suck. Face it. uhm. this trip sucked. you are all freaks. fuck all of you.
thats right. you reading this mag right now. fuck you. i hope you fucking die
mother fucking fucker faggot fucker. fuck. fucky fuck fuck.. fuck.. fuck fuck
fuck fuck? fuck fuck. fuckfuckfuck.
*** tsk kills sodium and tells him to shut the fuck up already. ***
*** note from Tsk. ***
People, you don't even know how fuckin' weird this whole .. trip has been.. I
mean shit, the entire thing has been a whole bunch of teenagers getting
fucked up and beating the shit out of the entire hotel... in many different
ways. I'm not saying it's bad or anything, because it's entertaining to
watch the stupid things we're all doing here... from the french fries and
tomatos out the window and hitting cars, to watching all the odd stuff tymat
keeps stealing, (oh my god.. sOdium just tried to walk through the mirror..
see what i mean? <g>) such as a credit card validator, a power strip, a suit
from a dumpster which the valley parking people wear, 2 walkie talkies from 2
different hotels, the no parking sign, the toilet paper, the fire
extinguisher, many many many many ham sandwiches and sodas <g>, home
pregnancy test, maxi pads WITH WINGS, and a mousepad... bah.. tired.. be back
later.
*** end of tsk's blurb ***
Sunday
\=--=/
boooooooring. this morning we had two or three fucknuts come in and yell at
us to clean up the room. you should have seen it. toilet paper, beer spilt,
wallpaper hanging off the wall, the 4th of july sign was in a million pieces,
the window tint was spread across the floor, beer bottles everywhere, and ld,
anarchist, and sodium all bailed and spent the night back at the hyatt where
(they say) ld got buttraped.
we all got up and cleaned the stupid room, and got lucky when the management
said we wouldn't have to pay for the wallpaper damage. but if we fuck up
anything else, we DO have to pay for it. went to the con, i drank three cups
of coffee, STILL didn't wake up, watched twenty minutes of _The Gods Must Be
Crazy_, got sick of it, fucked around, went back and watched almost all of
the old classic movie _King Kong_, and talked to pinguino about tymat's mood
swings.
now we're back at the hotel, and db is saying that we should get all fucked
up tonite just because pinguino said we couldn't. =) anyway, all of a sudden
i have nothing else to say, so i guess someone else is gonna write. h0h0h0h0.
*** Tsk has returned ***
dammit, this smoke alarm must be fucking broken... hrmm.. lets see what we
have here.. 4 people smoking, one of them smoking a huge ass cigar.. everyone
understands that the alarm will PROBABLY go off, but they're continuing to
literally breathe on the smoke detector. Wait, now there's two people
smoking cigars.. ld and dbringer. this is ... sucky. In case all you cool
people out there care, I don't smoke.. i don't drink.. i don't do drugs.. in
other words, i suck. But pinguino is the same way. <g>
hey, when you walk into the men's room and you see a faggot jacking off to a
porno comic book in the stall, what do you do when he says "hey dude.. come
here." man.....fucking nasty.
Taking you back to .. uhh..... Friday evening at McDonalds, ld was with
anarchist eating innocently.. all the while a 80+ year old lady was staring
at chris through the bars of the booths. Then she started hucking cream
packets across the room yelling "fucking shit." then she stopped, stared at
ld, started shaking, and sayed, with fixed eyes with ld, "oh shit, i wanna
fuck him." DUDE, i know you're thinking this didn't happen, but i swear to
you, this really happened.. if you still don't believe me, try to remember,
this is Downtown San Diego... anything can happen down here. <g>
hRm.. i can't wait for tonight; everyone's going to be just as fucking messed
up as last night... i'll probably end up, i dunno.. sleeping at the police
station or something.. i might just go to the hyatt and get some free food
with my professional badge. <g> I dunno, we'll see what happens..
*** anarchist knocks Tsk out and steals the keyboard. ***
i am the god of fuck. you hear me you horny pig fucker? i said i am the god
of fuck. I FUCKING OWN YOU ALL. I OWN YOUR DILDOS. I OWN YOUR MOM'S DILDOS.
I OWN YOU. I WILL RAPE YOU IN YOUR SLEEP. I WILL SEND A BIG FAT BLACK GUY
NAMED BERNIE WITH HIS PANTS DOWN TO SKULL FUCK YOU! shit, it doesn't matter
what thy say, 50 cent cigars kick reds ass. this trip sucked my left nut. i
only stayed in the hotel for one night and ended up sleeping in a all-night
movie theatre at the hyatt (not where we were staying) in the midst of "12
monkeys" (which was a shitty movie from what I saw of it before falling
asleep) uh, shit, my wrist just started hurting so fuck you i'm gone. FUCK
YOU GO HOME. THERES NOTHING LEFT. GOD IS A WHORE. BURN THE FLAG. BOW DOWN
BITCH, MAKE YOUR DOG BOW DOWN!
*** an leaves, Tsk takes over ***
Dude, was that paragraph something you would hear from ld or what? ok
whatever. Tymat is having fun right now stealing more ham sandwiches from
the hotel next to us.. hRm.. i think i'll greet people now because i'm outta
things to say. What's up, #ansi? you guys rock.. except for the very few
annoying people who i can't stand, i think you know who you are.. tymat r0x,
and dbringer r0x.. and so does unsolved mysteries.. these things r0ck.
Oh yeah, pinguino is like, going agro on us all.. she's getting really pissed
at everyone, including the few of us who haven't done anything wrong..
She'll like, yell at us when we're around the booth, and when I take a
picture of a doodle boy like she told me to do, I think she's just too
paranoid about everything and she's changing plans every 10 seconds.. I don't
know.. this whole trip is strange.. it's messed up, but it's fun.. <g>
*** I'm bored. someone else takeover. ***
*** aight, vYrus has the keyboard! ***
weeeeeeiiiirrrdd day. the con was kind of lame. we cleaned everything up and
came back, but on the way back, some faggot chink grabbed my ass while i was
getting off the tour bus, but i didn't say anything since i thought it was
pinguino, but i got off the bus and she asked me why he had, and i just
freaked. "WHAT?!$#$"
this is the last night. we have yet more beer and pinguino is being a mommy.
=) she's leaving again, so i'm afraid as to what db, ld, and tymat are goign
to do. i plan on chilling out tonight, because it wasn't very fun when i woke
up this morning and pinguino was mad as hell at me. that really sucked.
okay, i've covered it all. maybe later when i'm really drunk i'll write up
again. i have like three bucks left, and it's probably going toward beer
later on. so i'm outtie. whoevers next, take your shot.
** end of vYrus, beginning of pinguino ***
Hi.. this has been the weiiirdest weirdest WIERDEST 6 days ever. I've never
had this much responsibility placed on me in my life. Last year, Todd
Pluciennik took care of the hotel details, booth sales, and everything. Right
now, I totally value what he did for us last year..
DBringer is making stupid suggestuions. I just turned 18. I'm not supposed to
sit here and fucking babysit these people 16-17 year olds. I have other
things to do, like figure out who I met and what everyone wanted ;) Also,
rewrite the Avalanche catalog. I made a lot of professional connections, as
well as a lot of friends.
I saw Sketch again this year.. you can see a pic of me and him on the acid
web page,... http://www.acid.org/~radman. He was a crackhead bum whose real
name is Frisbee. This year, Tsk had a conversation with him, and I took his
photo. His beanie is now fixed, and he still smells funny.
I met the publishers of Twist and Shout Comics.
*** vYrus iz baq ***
i'm drunk. ld and db are drunk also. they're out having a smoke. i can't
type. funk dat. ahahahhahah... anyway... tymat stole someone's briefcase.
what a dipshit.. the guy went downstairs to security and mentioned it was
"odd" that his briefcase was sitting outside his door instead of inside the
room. ahahaha..
ld is back and he's a little more sober then he was earlier. earlier his dumb
ass was rolling around the room crashing into things laughing uncontrollably.
stupid BUNGHOLE.
ld, db, sodium, and tymat are all trying to figure out to order porn on tv
since it didn't work the other night. i'm nicely bored since i just had to
reformat this stupid fucking file since it was jacked up in dos edit.. it was
ascii text without line breaks.. LAAAAMMMEE... stupid windows notepad.
ld is complaining that the floor is wet and everyone else is going nuts that
there is no porno. ah, shaddup. i'm about to fall asleep, and i'm going home
tomorrow. h0h0. anyway... this file is open to everyone, i'll prolly write
a little bit tomorrow morning, but until then, this file is open to everyone
else.
.vy.
*** dum dee dum.. Tsk enters the room ***
What's up.. this is so weird.. ld is like in love with this guy named Ranger
Ralph.. he's fucking the comic book as I type.. .. um, now db is crying
because his cigar broke. <g> Sodium is sad because the porn ordering
people are asking for a home phone number, and tymat wants to go trashing,
only it's not dark enough. .. um, now ld and db are smoking cigars, and it's
really smelly in here.. ill be back later...
*** Tsk leaves and sodium runs in and kills people. ***
uhm. tymat walked around the venilation system and stole a briefcase from
another room. we made him put it back and the manager found out because there
is a direct link from this room to another and the vents in the other room
were broken. what a dumbass. and now here is tymat wad of cum and blood.
*** Sodium grabs a hooker in the hall and rams her until her head explodes
and tymat laughs. ***
that ventilation system was neat cuz yew could go to other rooms. the
next time i go to a convetntion i will bring elite tools like drills,
screwdrivers, bolt cutters and some elite listening devices. right now
my ass is in trouble so i will be going out for a walk soon and gro trashing
the briefcase hat i stole didn't have shit on it except for some comic books
anda a plane ticket. all i can say right now is that you ain't seen nuthin
from me yet.... just wait for defcon 1996. oh yeah... by the way... there
was this one fat dude in this one street corner preaching the bible and
he said something like "in five to ten years they will put a mark on your
forehead or under your skin, and you will not inherit god's kingdom if you
worship the beast!" it was so funny.. me and tsk were cracking up in the
street. db and ld are smoking cigars right now and it stinks like shit.
db says "worship the beast!"
*** tymat exits to the bathroom
*** tymat comes back after fucking his own ear. (sodium wrote)
ermm... eye didn't fuxor my own ear beyatch! and i don't have mood
swings. du0d... if yew think i'm crazy then piss off yew dirty cock sucking
three dollar hoe! anyway i'm going tew kill everyone! i'm going to sell
fetuses in the black market for crack cuz eye am in need! du0d, comic con waz
really fun. the crowd, the comix, the phree stuff (not to mention the stuph
eye stole from 4 different hotels), those chix in superhero outfits, the weed,
the booze, the fuct up thangz that eye did, and of corze the pipol that
went out of their way to hang out wif me. (I'm feeling a lot of love here du0d)oh by the way, ld is fucking the bed right now... heh... they're planning to
get a hooker to our room... hrmm.... interesting.... if thay did i'll just leavecuz i've seen a lot of these thangz while hanging out with the cripts from my
hood. i'm going to buttfuck the lion statue downstaris again. 0h gn0!@#! ld
is fucking the blanket right now... funny shit... anyway i'm done for the day...eyem going to go trashing or somethng.... aight! piece!
*** NEW QUOTE! "let me suck it." - tymat
** ANOTHER ONE! "just jam your nuts in the bucket!" - vYrus
*** NEWS FLASH ***
sodium has his dick hanging out of his pants. woohoo.
*** END OF FLASH ***
Monday
\=--=/
quick review, i want to get this thing released. this morning really sucked.
the management came in and determined that we owed them $150. woo. db paid 75
and penguin palace paid 75. that really sucked. we all cleared out, and me and
db flew back to oakland. that's where i am now, at home, finishing this up.
end of story. wild weekend, and here's a bunch of greets. and and best/worst
list:
greets: ld, db, tsk, tymat, pinguino, anarchist, todd, daniel fu, and everyone
elite that i met at the con. =)
best stuff
best booth: penguin palace
best costume: the big elvis dood.
best guy to talk to: the author of ranger ralph (he was at the booth next to
us)
best hotel room: 309
best night: saturday
worst stuff
worst booth: tsr, the people there was ASSHOLES.
worst room: 608 (they narked us out)
worst person: the hotel manager
worst experience: the briefcase thing.
worst day: monday. =)
peace to all the doodleboys...
.vYrus.
/=\=/=\=/=\=/=\=/=\=/=\=/=\=/=\=/=\=/=\=/=\=/=\=/=\=/=\=/=\=/=\=/=\=/=\=/=\
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