Turbo Zine Issue 5

eZine lover (@eZine)

Published in 

Turbo Zine

 · 5 years ago

  

+------------------------------[ t u r b 0 ]----------------------------------+ 
|                                                                             | 
|                           turb0 'zine numba phiv                            | 
|                                                                             | 
+-------------------------------[ z i n e ]-----------------------------------+ 
  |______( good mornning vietnam )______| 

  good morning vietnam! well it isn't the morning time and you aint from 
  vietnam, unless you like sumhow are from there and got my nifty zine. 

  anywayz, its issue numba phiv. so give sum around you a high phiv 
  cuz turb0 reached it to numba phiv, in three days. jeah. 

  you know why i can put out some many zines in the less amount of dayz. 
  cuz i'm the elitez person out there. 

  alrighty then! 

 
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+ 
  |_______( dividerz )______| 

  yup you guessed it? i was gonna talk about the dividers and headerz. 
  wonder how ya figured that one out. hmm. oh well. 

  well, the headerz rock, cuz i said so. they are the same from last 
  issue, but that is okay, cuz i'm elite. 

 
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+ 
  |______( lesbianz )______| 

  aren't lesbians so great? i so they are. one night when i was in 
  tucson wit my homiez playing sum ball afta the gamez were over, we 
  went cruisen around for a while and guess what. we found sum chickz 
  that weren't all that bad. 

  they asked us if we wouldn't mind watching them dyke out. this brought 
  at grin to my face. hehehe. anywayz, we saw them dyke out. kind of 
  nasty. some of my homiez joined in and started gang fukin. thatz when 
  i left to go back to hotel wit one of my otha homiez. 

  anywayz, it was all good. 

 
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+ 
  |______( tucson, arizona )______| 

  if you dont know about tucson wit is in arizona, then dont worry. not 
  everyone knows where it is. anywayz, i went to a couple fast food 
  joints down there wit my homiez and like all of them had slow 
  service. it pissed me off. 

  jack in the box - know as jack in the crack - 
  mcdonalds and 
  wendys 

  all had slow service. i ate crap food the whole time down there. 

  along wit that we watched pornos and charged them to my coaches 
  account. between the three rooms of us guyz, we charged about 
  25 different movies to his acct, counting hot releases and pornos. 

  boy was he surprised! grin. he ended up bitching at the place, cuz 
  we werent suppose to have access to the movies. but we did. 

 
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+ 
  |______( hmmm ... )______| 

  why do you dogs rub there asses across the dirt, ground, floor afta 
  taking a dump. 

 
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+ 
  |______( da beyotch )______| 

  there is this one girl, that i will refer to as the beyotch for know. 
  all she does in school is beyotch at people and blab her mouth of. 
  she bad mouths people and she thinkz she is the sheit. 

  sumtimes i wish i had a gun wit me. jus go up to her and shoot her brainz 
  out onto the flo0r. oh well. 

  or i could do her, oj style. slash, slash, slash, slash, slash, slab. grin. 

  enough wit the oj jokez. 

  even though i think he did it. cuz he wouldn't run from the copz the 
  day afta the crime. kill da nig. grin. believe me i'm not racist. but 
  i really think he did it, the evidence was against him, but when you 
  have a racist policeman and dont forget that oj was a rich bastard. 

  but he aint rich no more, cuz of this trial. he still has so money 
  and think he should give it all to me. since he is old and will 
  prolly get killed within the next couple yearz. 

 
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+ 
  |______( gravity )______| 

  how does gravity work? you throw sumthang up and it comes down. 

  pretty simple. is there a mathmatical equation for gravity or is 
  just there. 

  oh well. all i know is that e = mcý (that would be da squared sign) 

 
+------------------------------------------------------------------------------+ 
  |______( babes )______| 

  top ten or so most finest babes are; 

  -x-10-x- your mom 
  -x-09-x- sandra bullock cindy crawford 
  -x-08-x- nikki taylor 
  -x-07-x- cindy crawford 
  -x-06-x- crystal bernard - helen on wingz 
  -x-05-x- pamela lee 
  -x-04-x- ana nicole smith 
  -x-03-x- stacy sanchez - march 95 playmate 
  -x-02-x- demi moore 
  -x-01-x- my future girlfriend (christy - christen) 

 
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+ 
  |______( me )______| 

  hehehe. i'm better looking than brad pitt or tom crews. so beat that you 
  m0f0z. you can beat me cuz i'm god, the all mighty one, mr. wonderful, 
  mr. perfect. girlz jus go crazy over me. have to beat them away wit a 
  stick. grin. 

 
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+ 
  |______( inet access )______| 

  for dumbasses out there. here is sum helpful tips for people that only 
  have unix - text based shell - accountz. 

  dir - to see whatz in a directory. 
  cd .. - to exit a directory. 
  cd\ <dir_name> - enter a directory. 
  rm - remove file 
  mkdir - make directory. 
  rmdir - remove directory. 
  lynx - lynx is how to see world web sitez. 
  ftp - is to ftp to sitez wit filez. 
  telnet - is to telnet other boardz or nets. 
  irc - is a chat place to the world. 

  that was kewl. 

 
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+ 
  |______( duh )______| 

  like duh d00d! anywayz, i'm getting tired of typing and typing and 
  typing. so i'm gonna stop for a lil bit, maybe do another issue or 
  sumthang or jus get on da net, cuz i have an account. 

 
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+ 
  |______( sneak peak )_______| 

  here is a sneak peak at what next issues headers and dividers might look 
  like, if i can rememba to do them. grin. grin. grin. 

       ____( topic goes here )____ 
  +---`---------------------------'----- 

  that lookz like a pretty good reason to wait for the next issue of this 
  nifty, spiffy, phun 'zine, eh? 

 
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+ 
  |______( lataz )______| 

  i'm outta here. have fun and my email address is soul.raider@blast.neta.com 

  and poo is still a distr0. poo is in 602, which is in arizona for those 
  mof0z that didnt know that. 

 
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+-------------------------------[ z i n e ]-----------------------------------+ 

 
 (c) 1995 big hurt productions - turb0 zine - 

 
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