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TraxWeekly Issue 069
______\____
Issue #69 | \\ \ ______ - T R A X W E E K L Y -
|: \/ | the music scene newsletter
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|___\\____/\ :| Founded 12 March 1995
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| TraxWeekly Issue #69 | Release Date: 22 August 1996 | Subscribers: 766 |
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_____ Welcome to TraxWeekly #69!
_:__ / |
| \/ | This week, we are proud to
/\ _________ ______ ________ _______ feature a "generic" TraxWeekly
/ \\ \\ \_\ _ \\ \ article, brought to us with
/ \ \ / _/ / _/. \ the same flair shown in his
/______\___/ /_______|_____\____|_______/ "TraxWeekly World News."
/___\ sTZ!/sE .
| /\__|_ We also have a person "Top 100
|_____/ : listing from Interphaze. It is
extremely interesting to see some of
the opinions voiced by members of the music scene about what the think
represent the cream of the crop of tracked music. A number of reknown
composers dot the list, so please check it out.
For another dash of humor, I've included a little spoof on the recent movie
Independence Day. For those of you who haven't seen it yet, or have no
idea what it is, please try to avoid it. The humor is rather subtle.
Ascii art this week comes from Stezotehic! His approach to logos has
allowed us to "flow around" the art a little better.
Again, another slow week. Life goes on. =)
Gene Wie - gwie@csusm.edu
TraxWeekly Publishing
/-[Contents]----------------------------------------------------------------
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. General Articles
_ _:_______ 1. Generic TW Article........Zinc
| \ __ 2. Top 100 Mods..............Interphaze
| \\/ ____ 3. Indoctrination Day........Dean Kanipe
| sTZ!/sE \ / | Group Columns
: \/ | 4. Explizit
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|_____/ \ __ | Closing
\\/ \\ Subscribing
\ \ Contributions
\_____|_ _ TraxWeekly Staff
:
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/-[General Articles]--------------------------------------------------------
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--[1. Generic (Pointless) TraxWeekly Article]-----------------------[Zinc]--
Welp, I just had to due something for this special issue! That's right,
the one issue that really counts - issue 69! Before I go further, I'd
like to express my disappointment with Blackwolf for stealing my
"TraxWeekly World News" title! Now that that is over with.. Here comes
my article: a satire on the number of silly, not-very-useful articles
from the past.
[Editor's Note: Blackwolf didn't steal it. We just continued using the
name. But thanks for the information, mr. egomaniac. -Ed.]
Hi! I'm Mr. Generic TraxWeekly Article! First of all, I'd like to start
off with a few handy-dandy neato-licious phantasmagoriffic tracking tips!
Load up your copy of ScreamTracker 3 (you can download the latest version
from an ftp site called "ftp.cdrom.com", which has a lot of neat stuff).
Go to pattern one, which is ACTUALLY called pattern ZERO. Now, go the the
very first column on the F2 screen. A quick way to get there is just to
hold down the HOME key until the CPU starts beeping. Press your 'Q' key!
Now you've entered a note! A C-5, probably. So, the trick is to go to
the order list, and enter a bunch of numbers, which represent patterns.
Still though, you won't hear any sound. This is the trick, because if
you are following these directions, we're probably better off not hearing
your tracks.
Now, a good idea is to load PM-SINER.SMP into all 99 sample slots, and
press CTRL-S. Save your song with the name "K_MART.S3M" and be sure to
upload it - unzipped of course - to the ftp site I mentioned earlier.
You may want to go to the sample list first, though, and put in some neat
high-ascii comments, because this always impresses people.
Onto another topic: sample ripping! Sample ripping is what happens when
you take other people's samples and use them in your own song. Everybody
does this, but you should still go into #trax (the irc channel) and start
up debates about this every now and then.
Something of upmost importance to us all is the interview, so I've
decided to interview somebody who is of incredible importance to the
interview itself, and this is myself, because I'm the only one who will
understand the strange questions I ask.
<zinc> Okay let's start with the basic stuff like your real name and age
and anything else you want to reveal.
<zinc> Do I have to say my real name? There's some warez grubbers who
will kill me if they my true identity.
<zinc> so make something up.
<zinc> okay, I name is Bob Dole.
<zinc> Alrighty then, bob. What is your opinion on sample ripping?
<zinc> hey is this supposed to be funny because you were talking about
sample ripping in this article?
<zinc> Shut up! Don't answer my questions with questions!
<zinc> Okay, sorry.
<zinc> well nevermind that question then. What do you think about all
the retarded, pointless interviews we see in traxweekly?
<zinc> What's that supposed to mean?
<zinc> Well let's wrap this thing up. Please tell us where you can get
your latest mods, and anybody you'd like to say hi to.
<zinc> Um. My tracks are pretty pathetic though, so I don't want people
to get them. And I don't want to greet anybody, cuz I don't think
anybody likes me in the first place.
<zinc> That's right. Not even me. Go away.
*END OF INTERVIEW*
Well, that interview didn't go too well. I guess some people just don't
get it. So I'd better move on.
New subject! The demo!
[Editor's Note: I told zinc not to submit this crappy article, because
it sucks beyond all imagination, but he did anyways. Sorry. -Ed.]
Since Second Reality, I haven't seen any good demos. I sure, there have
been demos, but not DEMOS! I mean, yeah they were demos, per se, but as
far as demos go, the only real demo must be like "DEM-OH" and not like
"Dee Moe" because a DEMO isn't a Dee Moe. So there you have it.
Okay. This is the end of the article. I apologize to everybody who have
submitted stupid articles and are offended, but that's your own problem,
so why am _I_ apologizing. Nevermind that. I'll just take a brief moment
to plug two new songs of mine: BECKOFM.ZIP in incoming/it. It's a neato
track which goes where no mod has gone before. Also, TREK.ZIP, which is
in incoming/s3m and was my ambient mc4 entry. Yay.
During the time it took you to read this, 5 people will have died from
motor-vehicle accidents, and 1 person will have died from smoking. Also,
1 fetus will have been aborted, and most importantly, 74 people will
have fallen asleep from reading this same article. Toodles.
[Editor's Note: Make that close to 700 people. If you keep writing
articles like this, people aren't going to read TraxWeekly anymore.
They'll find other things to do, like read AudioFile. =) -Ed.]
- zinc / rays@direct.ca
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--[2. Top 100 Songs]------------------------------------------[Interphaze]--
This is Interphaze speaking, giving you a warm hello. This is my
Top 100 list of mods, which I hope you might have some interest in. I like
*all* the songs listed here a great deal, ie; whatever gets last is not
a *bad* tune, but a *brillient* tune. There are a lot of mods out there.
But first, some cautionary words:
1. If you're a composer and not mentioned on the list, I might not have
heard too much of your work, so don't get angry with me. Also there
are many composers I like that I haven't mentioned too much (or at all)
on this list. The songs they write don't seem to stand out too much in my
mind -- they are all of a good quality (for instance Heatbeat is a
better composer than Emax but Heatbeat isn't mentioned in my list at all;
sorry!)
2. Note I don't judge on professionalism; I judge what tune I like the
most. I don't care if a certain module has real guitars/16bit samples/
excellent stereo panning and (arrgh!) vocals. None of this means anything
if the tune is bad.
3. Please note I am not at all influenced by the opinions of those on
#trax, or of the publication Traxweekly itself. It would be much easier
kissing up to everyone on the scene by mentioning current composer's
tunes, believe me.
4. (or POSSIBLE FLAME ALERT) If you wholly disagree with this list,
thinking I've made some glaring ommisions, or that I'm musically illiterate
etc. (well, anyone who likes disco music runs that risk, don't they?), then
why not make your *own* list, and send it into Traxweekly.
Well, that's enough chat. Here's the list...
1. Space Debris Captain
2. Insideout Purple Motion
3. Skyrider Purple Motion
4. Beyond Music Captain
5. Defloration Emax
6. Ambient Power Vogue
7. When the Heavens Fall Purple Motion
8. A Touch of Spring Purple Motion
9. Near Dark Purple Motion
10. Party II Intromuzak Skaven
11. Stardust Memories Jester
12. Assembly_94 invitation Purple Motion
13. Enigma Tip/Firefox
14. Compulsion To Obey Lizard King
15. Inspiration Purple Motion
16. Starshine Purple Motion
17. Mysticism Necros
18. Charts Overdrive Purple Motion
19. Turbulence Purple Motion
20. Gravitation Lizard King
21. Macrocosm Firefox
22. Desert Dawn Lizard King
23. Crusin' Hawaii Jogeir
24. Artificial Intelligence Prism
25. Abra1 Jogeir
26. Electrification Groo
27. Nargual Dance Jugi
28. Biomechaniod Groo
29. 2nd_Reality Purple Motion
30. ID Skaven
31. 2nd_Reality Skaven
32. Exploration Purple Motion
33. Realization II Necros
34. Aquaphobia Purple Motion
35. World of Plastic Purple Motion
36. War.. Middle Earth Skaven
37. Skyscraper (remix) Necros
38. SSI Intro Purple Motion
39. Point of Departure Necros
40. Space Gravition Lizard King
41. Satellite 1 Purple Motion
42. The Decalogue Vogue
43. Underwater Breathin' Purple Motion
44. Virtual Dreams Dntro Groo
45. Realization Necros
46. Fracture in Space Purple Motion
47. Andante Necros
48. Shadowrun Purple Motion
49. World of Mages Lizard King
50. Led Storm Jogeir
51. Towards Immortality Groo
52. Respirator Zodiak
53. Mental Motion Amadeus
54. Blowup Larios/feyd
55. Zine SFX Omega
56. Banana-split Dizzy
57. Cream of the Earth ?
58. Can't Fake the Funk Basehead
59. Global Motion Purple Motion
60. Just Spank It Tip/Firefox
61. Dope_(on Jugi
62. Age of Legends Lizard King
63. New Beginning Purple Motion
64. Metroplex Necros
65. Ambient Light Vouge
66. Cybermoon Jugi
67. Purple Sky II Purple Motion
68. Elekfunk Moby
69. Lucid Dreams Jugi
70. Greynote Necros
71. Amegas ? old
72. Ominiphillia Skaven
73. Bounty Eyebrow
74. Echoing ? old
75. TMP (from Unreal demo) Purple Motion
76. Catch that Goblin Skaven
77. Molecule's Revenge Jester
78. Darkness/Pinball Purple Motion
79. Acid Jazz-Part 1 Nuke
80. Sundance Purple Motion
81. Realm of Chaos Skaven
82. Elimination Lizard King
83. He Has No Face Skaven
84. Arcadia Necros
85. Chipslayer Lizard King
86. Click Necros
87. Basic Instinct Jester
88. Astraying Voyages Purple Motion
89. Guitar Slinger Jogier
90. Miracle Man Purple Motion
91. Claustrophobia Lizard King
92. Longstabben Lizark King
93. Blowaway Jugi
94. Scenial Purple Motion
95. Galactic Lizard King
96. Cloudscape Zodiak
97. Free From Guitar ?
98. Comm-Jazz Jogeir
99. Variations Jogeir
100. Aurora Orion Jugi
Anyway, please direct comments to [jayr@break.com.au], such as whether I've
missed certain songs or just anything at all. As it is, this list was
done quite quickly and could be much better than it is. For instance
some of the placing *may* need to be rearranged. Thanks!
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--[3. Indoctrination Day]------------------------------------[Dean Kanipe]--
[Editor's Note: If you haven't seen Independence Day the movie or have no
idea what it is, ignore this entire article. -Ed.]
40 Things I Learned From ID4 That I Never Knew Before
By Dean Kanipe
Area 51 Research Center
While viewing the film Independence Day, it became apparent that I was
remarkably uninformed about several things related to Area 51, aliens,
military operations, and America in general. Below is a quick list of
a few important things I learned from the film that I never knew
before, and a few lessons that were inferred from the plot. I wish to
thank the creators of ID4 for making these facts much clearer to me.
1. Aliens like to blow up significant land marks first. Apparently the
best way to destroy a city is to position your "Death Ray" over the
most recognizable building.
2. All pro-UFO people are morons who dance atop the building directly
under the Death Ray.
3. If alien "Destroyers" come to your city to blast it into oblivion,
leave BEFORE they fire the Death Ray.
4. If alien "Destroyers" come to your city to blast it into oblivion
and you are caught in traffic at the last minute, make sure that you
are travelling with a dog and a small child. The Law of Averages says
you'll survive the Death Ray.
5. If alien "Destroyers" come to your city to blast it into oblivion
and you are caught in traffic at the last minute, make sure that you
are NOT a raspy-voiced homosexual cable TV executive. The Law of
Averages says you'll get waxxed by the Death Ray.
6. Stripping is a lucrative profession that allows one to "Pay the
bills," "take care of one's boy," and own a nice house in a middle
class subdivision.
7. Strippers got moxie. When the going gets tough, they can drive
California Highway Department utility vehicles, collect refugees and
use their extensive survival skills to provide food and comfort to
survivers.
8. NASA sends out rejection letters, just like Harvard.
9. Area 51 is an "Assault Base".
10. A fleet of RVs can travel across the Nevada Test Site in
line-abreast formation without the need of roads, thanks to the imense
expanses of Salt Flats and the lack of impeding mountains.
11. Area 51 has a big chain-link fence around it, and the guards at
the gate wear black combat fatigues with white metal helmets in 120
degree heat.
12. Any bonehead with an RV can get to Area 51 by driving across the
Salt Flat to the gate and flashing a captured alien to the guard.
13. Standard operating procedure for the Air Force is to cluster all
vehicles, aircraft, and ground personel on a 200 meter section of
tarmac in the middle of an Alien Invasion.
14. The F-18 is the sole fighter in use by all branches of the
service, including Marines and Air Force.
15. From the assault scenes on the Alien "Destroyers', it appears that
the F-18 must have had a 10,000 unit production run.
16. Both F-18s and B-2s must close to within 10 km of a target 20 km
across before engaging with both air-to-air missiles and aerial
launched nuclear cruise missiles.
17. People too drunk to walk can still fly crop dusters and F-18s.
18. Any bonehead with rudimentary aviation experience can be taught to
pilot an F-18 in 5 hours.
19. Any bonehead with F-18 flight experience can learn to pilot an
Alien fighter in 5 minutes.
20. Aliens with anatomy that includes tentacles and clawed feet use
flight yokes just like ours.
21. Aliens are wimps, even the ones in "Bio-Mechanical" armor. They
have glass jaws and can be taken out with a punch by Will Smith. (He
has had a lot of practice on photographers, though. )
22. Aliens are stupid. When one of their fighters approaches the
carrier, they don't bother to communicate with the pilot.
23. Aliens are even more stupid. They pursue their targets into
canyons walls and closing blast doors.
24. Aliens are unbelievably stupid. While unarmed and unarmored, they
do things to piss off people with hand guns.
25. Aliens are just too stupid for words to express. An alien air
traffic controller can look at a fighter that has been human-modified
for 20 minutes and is only 50 feet away and not notice the welded-on
missile rack until the missle is fired through his work station.
26. Aliens are remarkably inarticulate. All they can say is, "Release
you the laughing stock of the community, never fear. When their
"Destroyers" come, you will be vindicated to those who mocked your
tale.
33. If aliens abduct you and do unspeakable things to you, you can
have revenge upon them by flying an F-18 into their Death Ray.
34. If aliens abduct you and do unspeakable things to you and you have
revenge upon them by flying an F-18 into their Death Ray, you will
obtain redemption and your children will be proud of you.
35. The best way to win back a former wife is to be very annoying,
look perpetually vexxed, and keep wearing your wedding ring for 4
years after the divorce.
36. In 10 hours, one man with a Macintosh Laptop can code a virus in
C++ that will take down a completely alien computer system.
37. Even though the Mac isn't compatible with most other Earthly
operating systems, it can interface with an alien computer.
38. Alien network security is nonexistant.
39. Rather than attacking a planet when they first encounter it (ie,
1940s), aliens wait until the planet has developed just enough
technology to possibly defend itself.
40. Scientists at Area 51 are a bit touched in the head, and "Don't
get out much."
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/-[Group Columns]-----------------------------------------------------------
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--[4. Explizit]-------------------------------------------------------------
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::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::[sYNOPTiC]::
Explizit TraxWeekly column issue #27
Hi!
The second edition of our diskmag Exploration, called 'Malevolent Karma'
is about to be released. This Diskmag contains over 400k of articles
about the Dutch music scene, so it should be pretty worth the download.
Sturm has joined our ranks to enlighten us with Acid sounds. He has
already released 'Mind Alteration'; an Acid MusicDisk.
Ch:ilm / Explizit
postmaster@explizit.org
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TraxWeekly is available via FTP from:
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Contributions for TraxWeekly must be formatted for *76* columns,
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must stay with regular text. Profanities and other derogatory
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Contributions should be mailed as plain ascii text or filemailed
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TraxWeekly does not discriminate based on age, gender, race, political
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ALL COMMENTS GOOD/BAD AND SUGGESTIONS ARE WELCOME!
Please contact the TraxWeekly staff at the following addresses:
Editor: Psibelius (Gene Wie)..............gwie@csusm.edu
Staff: Atlantic (Barry Freeman)..........as566@torfree.net
Benjamin Krause...................orogork@cs.tu-berlin.de
DennisC (Dennis Courtney).........dennisc@community.net
Fred (Fred Fredricks).............fred@paracom.com
Kal Zakath (John Townsend)........jtownsen@sescva.esc.edu
Kleitus (Seth Katzman)............skatzman@global2000.net
Mage (Glen Dwayne Warner).........gdwarner@cvn70b.vinson.navy.mil
Mick Rippon.......................rip@hunterlink.net.au
Trifixion.........................trifix@orion.polaristel.net
Zinc (Justin Ray).................rays@direct.ca
Reporter: Island of Reil (Jesse Rothenberg).jroth@csusm.edu
Graphic Contributors:
Cruel Creator . Stezotehic . Squidgalator2 . White Wizard
TraxWeekly is a HORNET affiliation.
Copyright (c)1995,1996 - TraxWeekly Publishing, All Rights Reserved.
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