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Toxic Shock 055
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presents
Trix Are For Kids
by
Gross Genitalia
Toxic File #55
Centre of Eternity 615.552.5747 40 megs Lots of Files - HQ of Toxic Shock
[TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS]
"Ooh, I hope no one's around!" <Rip, shake rumble, pour><GRAB!>
"Nuh uh! No! Silly rabbit, Trix are for KIDS!"
Sick of this commercial? I am. The Trix Commercial. It sucks. It's stupid.
It's totally uninteresting because due to large misfortune, the true story of
the Trix Rabbit was covered up by Universal Studios in embarrassment. General
Mills cereal held its corporate heads in the shadows in shame. It went
something like this.
"Trix commercial, Take Two"
The bright, sparkling red box of Trix cereal sat eagerly waiting on the
cloth-covered table of the set. The children stood poised and ready just
outside the camera's view. The rabbit was unleashed and it bounded up to the
table, and snatched up the box greedily. It ripped off the top, dug its
hands into the bag, and JUMP! The children sprung onto the set, took away the
box, and chanted the ever-famous line: "Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids!"
The cheap little bastards took the rabbit's cereal, poured it into a bowl of
juice from a cow's udders, and ate it. Talk about one pissed rabbit.
This commercial did not suit the director.
"Trix Commercial, Take Three"
A similar situation. This went on and on, over and over, until the rabbit
tamed himself and a 30-second commercial of perfection was reached. It aired
for 3 weeks. And the routine began again. This time a different set, a
different studio, same product in question. Trix cereal.
And again, as always, the Trix Rabbit did not get his cereal. Another
commercial of perfection, it aired this time for four weeks. The rabbit had
reached his peak of anger. But the millions of kids across the country to
whom this colorful commercial appealed, they knew not the personal feelings
of the rabbit; they did not know his side of the story, of his agony and
torture which the producers had put him through. He had tried so desperately
to contact Animal Rights Activists, but his success was none; no mail was
delivered from him by the greedy and money-hungry bastards of General Mills.
The embarrassment of "The Big G" occurred. Yes, it was covered up, the
story you never knew. The Trix Rabbit -- got his Trix.
On one particular shooting of the commercial the director and cameraman
met in a conference room to discuss some new footage with the children. The
rabbit came prepared; he had stolen an army-issue lockpick set and picked the
lock on his cage. He snuck to the set and investigated its every inch. Yes!
No one was around, no one was in sight. The Trix Rabbit stood alone on set
number five, in a fake kitchen setting with a real box of Trix cereal.
Greedy hands snatched the box. He leaped up onto the table and took a
pose of victory! He shouted a rabbit scream! And no one came!
He ripped the box open with a certain air of violence, and tore the paper
bagging with great victorious rips. He took out a handful of the crunchy cereal
and adorned his white body with its rainbow of splendor! Aaaah, that feeling
of power he had so longed for!
He pulled yet another handful and shoved it into his filled, drooling
mouth. He crunched, waiting for that perfect moment when all the fruity taste
of Trix Cereal would burst in his mouth, a watering flavor of ecstacy! The
moment came.
It sucked. The Trix cereal which he so glamourously ate fucking sucked
shit. It was the most awful and repulsive shit he had ever eaten in his
life of pain.
All his life! All his fucking damned life he had waited for the proud
moment where he would finally get his damned Trix cereal, and it turned
out to be a hoax. All the commercials, all the publicity. LIES! LIES! Millions
of children led into a false sense of security with a cereal that delivered
nothing which it promised. It was not fruity, and delicious, and mouth-watering
good, it tasted like cardboard, like dried rotten cardboard. It fucking sucked.
The rabbit felt as if everything he had lived for was lost. Gone.
The Trix Rabbit stood in utter disappointment on Set Number Five of
Universal Studios.
He drew a Derringer.
He shot himself.
(c)1990 Toxic Shock. By Gross Genitalia. How depressing.
