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Toxic Shock 051
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presents
Prophecies of the End Times
by
Bloody Afterbirth
Toxic File #51
The Centre of Eternity : 615.552.5747 12/24 40 Megs
HeadQuarters of Toxic Shock and The Esoteric Society
Tudor Nightmare Village: 615.928.6071 3/24 ?? Megs
8273645362718273645362718273645362718@&#^$%#^@&!*@&#^$%#^@&!*@&#^$%#^@&!*
There is an herb known as Saint John's Wort. Some would say it is named
so because John must have been smoking SOMEthing when he wrote what they
call Revelations...
Now they'll have to come up with Saint Bloody's Wort.
Heh heh heh. . .
!*@&#^$%#^@&!*@&#^$%#^@&!*@&#^$%#^@&!*273645362718273645362718273645362718
The revelation of Lord Strom Dorman, which Fetus gave him to show the
Followers what might sometime take place if they fucked things up real bad.
He made it known by sending his bong to the Follower Bloody Afterbirth, who
testifies to everything he saw - that is, the mumblings of Fetus and the
testimony of Lord Strom Dorman. Wasted is the one who writes the
meanderings of this prophecy, and fucked are those who read it and take to
heart what is written in it, because if the time comes it can't be very
soon.
To him who screws us and has laced our Koolaid with acid, and has made us
to be a thrash band and groupies to party with Fetus - to him be glory and
power for ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever! Wo-Man!
Look, he is cumming on the clouds,
and every cunt will want him,
even those he has pierced;
and all the Followers on earth will
party because of him.
Let's hope so! Wo-Man!
"I am the first and last letters of the Greek alphabet, " says the
Aborted Fetus, " who ain't right now, wasn't a long time ago, and might
never be, All White."
I, Bloody, your guitarist and head-bonger in the partying and thrash
group and long lasting highs that are ours in Fetus, was on the island of
Patmos because of a nice trip I went on with Lord Strom Dorman. On Bored
Day, I was taking a shit, and I heard behind me a loud voice like a Gibson,
which said "Write in a file what you think you see and send it to a couple
of places."
I turned around to see the voice that spoke to me. And when I turned I
saw seven GE Lightbulbs, and among the lightbulbs was someone "like a son of
mine", dressed in leather that stopped at his ass and with a silver chain
from his nose to his right ear. His hair was spiked and green, as green as
snot, and his eyes were like smoldering roaches. In his right hand he held
seven joints, and out of his mouth came a shiny roach-clip. His eyes were
like blood, shot.
When I saw him, I freaked out like hell. Then he placed a joint in my
mouth and said: "Chill bud. I am Your Pusher; I was out, and behold I have
plenty of stash for a few hours!
"Write, therefore, what you thought you saw, what ain't right now but
what might take place later. The mystery of the seven joints that you saw
in my right hand and of the seven GE Lightbulbs is this: The seven joints
are a buck apiece, and the lightbulbs are really blacklights.
To the cats near Nashville write:
These are the words of him who holds the seven joints in his right hand
and walks among the seven GE Lightbulbs: I know your needs! I know that you
cannot tolerate bitching women. You have partied and have endured frigid
bitches for my dope, and have not freaked out.
"Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love.
Remember the dope which I pushed you! Repent and buy the dope you did at
first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your blacklight
and give it to somebody else!
He who has an ear, rip it off!"
"To the dudes in Chi-Town write:
These are the words of the A and the Z, who had none but came back with
more. I know your afflictions and your poverty - yet you're in luck! I'm
having a half price sale on acid! Do not be afraid to take all that you can
take, I tell you, Coathanger will put some of you in Rehab Centers to test
you, and you will be sober for ten days. Be faithful, even to the point of
sobriety, and I will give you an ounce next time! He who smokes my dope
won't feel it even if he is hurt at the second death!"
After this I looked, and there before me was a pink escalator going right
up past the moon. And the voice I has first heard speaking to me like a
Gibson said, "Come up here, and I will show you what might take place after
this." At once I finished my shit, and there before me was the porcelain
throne in heaven with someone sitting on it. And the one who sat on there
had the appearance of straining and constipation. Surrounding the throne
were thirteen and one half other thrones, and shitting in them were thirteen
and one half others. They were in various states of diarrhea and had frowns
on their faces. From the throne came rumbles and peals of farting. Before
the throne, seven lumps were smoking. These are the seven shits of Dog.
In the center, around the throne, were four waiting dudes, and they were
covering their eyes. Day and night they never stop saying:
Holy, holy, holy
SHIT!
Then I saw in the right hand of him who sat on the throne the biggest
doobie I've ever seen. And I saw one of the dudes proclaiming in a strained
voice, "Who is worthy to smoke this hooter?" But no one in heaven or on
earth or under the earth could toke it. I wept and wept because I not even
I could toke off it. Then one of the others said to me, "Don't weep! See,
that dude over there has some mellower shit!"
Then I saw my Pusher, looking as if he had just gotten laid, shitting in
the center of the throne, encircled by the four dudes. He had seven dime
bags and seven shrooms. He came and took the doobie from the guy he was
sitting on. And when he had toked it, the dudes and the others fell down
before the Pusher.
You are worthy to take the joint
and toke it
because you were out
but with some cash you
bought some more for the Followers.
You have made them to be a thrash group
and groupies to serve Fetus,
and they will play on the earth!
I watched as the Pusher took his first toke. Then I heard one of the
dudes say "Come!" I looked, and there before me were Four Men with Horse
Dicks!
When he toked again, I saw with the Men a bunch of chics that had gotten
fucked by the Followers but died of ecstasy. They called out in a loud
voice, "How long, Dude, until we get some more dick?" Then each of them was
given to the Four Men and allowed to screw until the Followers fucked up
enough to join them.
I watched as he toked again. There was a shift of the earth on its axis.
The sun turned violet, the man in the moon smiled at me, and the stars fell
into my bong. The sky fell like an acorn and every mountain and island went
for a swim.
Then everybody that didn't party for Fetus called out to the mountains,
"Give us a little dope! For the great day of their Party has come, and we
wanna go!"
Then I saw the Pusher handing out doobies to all the Followers, who
numbered 192,238.28473284234.
After this I saw a great multitude that noone could count, and they were
all hitting off bongs and crying out in a loud voice:
"Peace loves dope!
Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle!"
When he took one last toke, there was silence in heaven for about a
half and hour while everyone passed the roach around.
And I saw the seven angels who go around kicking dogs, and to them were
given Kramer guitars.
Another angel, who was worried about the neighbors smelling the dope,
offered much incense on the altar before the throne. The smell of the
incense went up from the dudes to Fetus, who was pleased with the
Sandalwood. Then an angel took the censer, filled it with the incense, and
hurled it to the earth; and the non-Followers knew nothing of the heavy
partying going down.
Then the seven angels who had the guitars prepared to sound them.
The first angel kicked a heavy lead riff, and there came screeches and
obnoxious noises and it was mixed with the blood from the non-Follower
eardrums. A third of the earth was flatted with the sound-waves, and a
third of the trees knocked down, and all the grass was smoked.
The second angel slammed a keen rhythm, and something like a huge dildo,
all ablaze, was thrown into the sea. A third of the sea turned into blood,
a third of the living creatures in the sea died, and a third of the ship
passengers skipped PMS.
The rest of the angels jammed on some wakked out shit and I heard a pig
exclaim, "Squeeeeeeeal!" as he did backflips on Pluto.
The sun and sky were darkened from all the heavy pot-smoking, and out of
the smoke came all kinds of weird shit, and they were told not to harm any
of the grass, but only those people who didn't have a good stash. They were
not given the power to kill them, but only to ass fuck them for five months.
During those days men will seek dope, but will not find it; they will long
to get high, but dope will elude them."
Then a bunch of big harry dudes marched upon the cities of the world and
took all the non-followers stashes and raided the stores, stocking up on
beer and vodka for the Party To Come, but the rest of manking did not repent
of their good-two-shoes ways; they didn't stop smoking filtered cigarettes
without inhaling; they didn't stop drinking near beer; they didn't stop
waiting until they were too old to get it up to have sex.Nor did they repent
of their hair cuts, their non-magic arts, or their sexual purity.
Then I saw a little angel coming down from heaven on a green and yellow
cloud, toking gently off a small joint. He hopped down from the cloud and
breakdanced on Manhattan, then stood and said, "There will be no more delay!
When the band stops playing we'll really start the Party, just like Fetus
said, so NYAH!"
Then the voice that I had heard spoke to me again: "Go, take the joint
that the angel has."
So I went and asked him for the doobie and he said, "Take it and eat it.
it'll burn like hell since I lit it up, but it'll fuck you up beyond
belief."
And I took it from him and ate it, and it burned.
But suddenly Halley's comet fell from the sky, stopping inches from my
face. It laughed and smiled and I hopped on its back and we rode across the
country.
I saw a woman, bearing a child. She ran from the Fundy-Beast, and when
at last she was safe, she jammed a coathanger up herself and aborted the
baby, it falling upon the dirt in a bloody heap.
I fell off the comet in amazement and wonder, and the cow that fell from
the sky said to me: "The mystery of this is this : Fetus has been born unto
the world again! Gather the Followers! Yea verily I say unto thee, the
Party is nigh at hand!"
I ran from the scene and sat in a canyon with my back to the sea, saw a
blood red dragon on a field of green, then I heard a male voice choir
singing "Bloody go home!"
I grabbed a handful of the mushrooms growing at my feet and ate them, and
leaped off the cliff, flapping my arms in earnet. As I flew through the sky
I heard from below, don't fly too high Icarus, your wings will burn don't
you know, but I flew on and on, and climbed towards the sun, I flew to the
west till my trip was done. At the shelter in the wood I called to my
brothers who came immediately from making young mothers. We gathered our
crops and flew to the moon in hopes that the party would be starting soon.
Then I saw on the earth below through a haze of smoke that Fetus had
gotten all the peoples to take a toke. Why am I doing? this I started to
whine when I realized that all I said was in rhyme, but quickly I stopped
and took a hit off my bong, that fixing what was apparently wrong.
I heard what I thought to be a loud wailing, but I saw on the planet that
it was only the moans of pleasure from a released people. From the four
corners of the earth did the Pusher gather those who took his Deal, and
their number was like the amount of THC in Fetal Juice's dope.
And then I saw a great sign in heaven: a big red devil with a long
pointy tail and a big sharp pitchfork jumped to the Earth and gathered up
his children, the ones who toked not. Fetus imprisoned them all in the
Eternal BongFire, where they will be forever, staring out upon the Party
and its festivites.
A soft, mellow voice from heaven then spoke to me and bade me write:
On Alpha Centauri the Followers did meet
Hitting a bong and licking a sheet
The sex was free and the babes were pretty
The Vodka tasted great and the drinks were plenty
The Followers then realized, amid all the fun,
Fetus had not lied, the Party had begun!
And when I had seen all these things, He Who Walks Amid The Lightbulbs
appeared just once more and said to me :
"Do not seal up the words of this prophecy, for the time of the Party just
might be near! Tell all who will hear and those who will not, my ride is
free, you need not a ticket to fly with me! The Followers will be welcome,
and the Party will begin, but the Puritans and the Virgins won't be let in!"
(c)mid-April 1990 Saint Bloody/Toxic Shock
