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Toxic Shock 009
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presents
Downfall of Coathanger
by Bloody Afterbirth
Toxic File #9
!@$#%^*&!@$#%^*&!@$#%^*&!@$#%^*&!@$#%^*&!@$#%^*&!@$#%^*&!@$#%^*&!@$#%^*&
Yea verily I say unto thee, Fetus was a mighty opponent, and The Destroyer
stood not a chance 'gainst His strength! Let now the tale be told!
*&%^$#!@*&%^$#!@*&%^$#!@*&%^$#!@*&%^$#!@*&%^$#!@*&%^$#!@*&%^$#!@*&%^$#!@
Fetus... The Flaming Fetus... Fetus the Fickle... Fetus the Fucked...
Fetus Owner of Department Stores... Names for the entity brought into existence
by the Mighty Coathanger. Little did his 'Alimightiness' know that he was but a
tool of Coathanger... For as long as Fetus and his followers continued their
actions, Deathbringer only grew in strength... The stronger they became, the
stronger He became.
By the Almighty Abortion, Coathanger had brought into existence one of the
most fearsome forces of all eternity, a force whose sole purpose in 'life' was
to fuck everything up. Fetus... And as long as Abortion was looked down upon,
Coathanger's strength would reign eternal... As long as empty headed women saw
Fetus' as a curse, as long as they were willing to kill a part of themselves,
Coathanger would dominate... And dominate He did, unknowingly, behind the
scenes, letting none know that He was in control...
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
- -_- -_- -_- -_- -_- -_- -_- -_- -_- -_- -_- -_- -_- -_- -_- -_- -_- -_-
Moses was a man of little intelligence. He had this all encompassing
desire to be whipped and beaten and made to pull big rocks, wallow in the mud,
and make bricks without straw. So, when Job Services came around and offered
him a job as a Prince of Egpyt, he turned it down and took on the job of Slave
to the Pharoah.
The people of Israel had grown sick of centuries of Bondage and Discipline,
and were looking for someone to lead them from captivity, someone who would show
them NEW kinky sex rites.
Now...Moses was stupid, but he was ambitious. Instead of being whipped, he
wanted to do the beating, as that turned him on much more. Coathanger noticed
this, and called to Moses.
"Moses! Yo! Bud! Hey you! Yeah you, with the stretch marks! Cm'here!"
For many days, Moses journeyed to the Golden Calf Tavern, where Coathanger
was leading him. Once there, Moses proceeded to get really fucked up. When he
was done, and was stumbling out the door, Coathanger appeared.
"HOLY FUCKING SHIT! Look at THAT! Its a COATHANGER!"
"Shhhhh! Keep it down, keep it down. Let's make a deal bub."
"Uhhhh, whash kinda deal you wan' make, Mishter?"
"I'll show you how to lead your people out of Egpyt and give you your very
own whip and leather straps, if you'll just promise to do exactly as I say."
"Ok! Shoundsh good! Let'sh get to work!"
--Weeks Later, In Pharoah's Audience Chamber, Auditions For Party Entertainment
Are Being Held--
"Next!"
"A girl calling herself Loosey, sire."
A little girl walked into the chamber, and sat before the Pharoah on a
small reed mat. She looked up at Pharoah, rolled her eyes in the back of her
head, started screaming "FUCK ME FUCK ME FUCK ME FUCK ME" and spun her head
around on her shoulders three times, puked bile for 10 feet all over the place,
fingered herself and began fucking the air.
"Hey, how many of these things are we going to get? That's the fifth one
today! NEXT!"
"A runaway slave named Moses who turned down the offer of Prince to be
beaten chained and whipped all in the name of kinky sex, sire."
"What is your trick, what is it that you do?"
"My Lord and My God speaks to you through me, and these are his words.
Let my people go, so that they may worship me faithfully without being
whipped and beaten!"
"Who is this Lord, that I should let them go? I know this dude not, and
the Israelites are leaving not."
Pharoah kicked Moses out, and decreed that all Israelites were now only
required to make half as many bricks as before, and they could have 3 days off
every week, with pay, to be thoroughly beaten and whipped, with newer and
kinkier sex rites, to keep their mind off of freedom, as Moses promised.
Moses returned to the Golden Calf, got plastered, and met with Coathanger
once again. "Oh Mighty Hanger of Coats, what can we do now? Pharoah didn't
listen to your Mighty Decree, oh he is soooo strong and wise!"
"Go to my people, Moses. And tell them that their Lord and their God has
promised freedom from the bondage, freedom from slavery. I will deliver them
from Egypt!"
Moses did as told, and was laughed at hysterically. The people were really
enjoying the extra bondage, besides, Coathanger didn't promise anything, just
the end of a fantastically kinky sex act!
Coathanger and Moses chatted once again, and this time they decided to blow
Pharoah's mind with some really awesome shit...
"Show me your miracles, show me what this Coathanger can do!"
Moses pulled out his dick, and it began slithering and sliding, like a
snake, and grew longer and longer, and fucked a serving girl.
But Pharoah was unimpressed, and brought another serving girl into the
room. She stripped, and suddenly a long dick slithered from her asshole and she
proceeded to pump herself until she couldn't fuck any longer.
And then Coathanger said unto Moses..."Go to Pharoah as he goes out to piss
in the river. Then, take in hand your mighty dick and say to him "Coathanger
says, Let My People Go, or I shall surely strike the waters of the river and
make them nasty!""
Pharoah went out to take his morning piss, and noticed someone on the other
bank, flailing his arms and going "Oo oo oo! Hey! Hey! Lookit lookit!" He
recognized it as Moses. He was holding his dick in hand, and started mumbling
some gibberish about striking the river if Pharoah didn't free the people.
"Hey, yo, you can kiss my ASS if you think I'm letting all this free sex
go! You MUST be buggin'"
So with a mighty grunt, Moses pissed in the river, and it turned yellow and
stank, becoming urine. The whole of the river was urine, but Pharoah was not
bothered, anyone can piss in a river. He spoke to the slaves...
"Slaves of Egypt! Because of what has been done to my river, I am now
cutting out the whippings! You will now do NOTHING! You will stay at home and
be treated like HUMAN BEINGS! That is the punishment!"
Now the slaves grew restless, and yea, even Moses was depressed, because he
too missed the Bondage and Discipline. Ah! His moment! He could take
advantage of the situation!
"My people! Coathanger says this! Follow me from Egypt, and I shall see
to it that you are thrashed thrice daily!"
Well, the people were really excited about this, and began to form a faith
for Coathanger, and worshipped Moses as His prophet. After all, anything was
better than being treated like humans...
And Moses spoke again to Coathanger, and again Moses went unto Pharoah.
"Pharoah! This is what Coathanger the Barbarian has decreed! If you don't
let my people go, you're gonna be really really really really really sorry! I
shall send plagues on top of plagues and you will weep!"
"Bah humbug... You expect me to believe that shit?"
Fetus had hardened Pharoah's heart, unbeknownst to all. The Pharoah was
now the tool of Fetus, doing as Fetus bade.
The next day, frogs with lice stormed the country and attacked the cattle,
giving them all boils which killed them all and then flies buzzed the area
dropping tons of maggots onto the fields and then ten gazillion locusts flew
through and ate up everybody's Egyptian Express cards and then the sun was
struck and it was dark at noon for all kinds of hours. But still, Pharoah was
strong, his heart was hardened. He did not give in.
Hank Aaron then arose in front of the people and a dejected Moses. "My
Lord speaks to me, and gives me a message for you all:
"Yo...Dudes! This is FETUS! Wanna have a PARTY? Well hey man, all you
cats gotta do meet me in the desert at 9pm Friday! Catch ya later dudes!"
Moses feared for Coathanger as all the Israelites suddenly decided that
Fetus was the man to vote for.
"Wait! People of Israel! Fetus has offered you no way of leaving!
Coathanger shall remove you from here, and let you go to the party, all you must
do is follow Coathanger's decrees!"
Well hey, the people saw a definite advantage in following Coathanger,
Fetus was notoriously good at having some really wakked out parties, the
Canaanites were a really jammin' kinda people, and everyone had heard about the
big blast they had at Sodom...
The next morning, Moses once again approached Pharoah.
"This is the word of Coathanger.
Free my people, that they may have a hell of a party."
Well, Pharoah wasn't about the let a bunch of slaves go to a party that he
didn't get an invitation to, so he promptly said NO and decreed that all slaves
would now be allowed to stay up as late as they wanted.
Aaron stood before his people and Pharoah and said, "This is the decree of
my liege Fetus! Let 'em go or you'll be soooooorrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyy!"
Pharoah laughed at that, after all, how foolish could these people be? Who
ever heard of a dude named Fetus being able to do anything to a Pharoah?
But even as Pharoah laughed, all of the Egyptian Fetuses ruptured the flesh of
their mothers, clawing their way out, slaughtering their parents and all their
friends, going on a mass killing spree and hacking up all the first born boys in
all the families except those who had a Ghostbuster sign on their front door.
"Ok! Ok! I give! Fetus has beaten me! The people may go to the party!
They are free!"
Cheers and ecstatic joy went through all the slaves, for at last, they
would have a hell of a party in the desert! Coathanger felt his power slipping,
for Fetus had a power that Coathanger had not foreseen.
Coathanger spoke unto Moses once again... "Take my people towards the sea,
and when you reach the sea, piss in it, and the waters shall be parted!"
"Oh, yeah right, bullshit man, there's no way in hell you can do something
like that!"
"Well, ok, so you're right. Take my people to the bridge I built last
night, that'll let 'em cross the Red Sea. And hey, while yer there, light up a
Bic for me and say I caused the flame, ok?"
"Yeah, sure, but I better get a hell of a pension for this."
Two months later... Coathanger had, deliberately, led the people away from
the party and towards the mountains. Fetus was furious, for he had not known
that the people were so stupid as to see that it was HE that caused the attack
by the fetuses. As they neared the mountains, Rap music was heard from the top
of Cyanide, and Moses took it as a sign. He told all the people to stay where
they were, that he was going to go get some really juked out shit and he'd be
back shortly.
Once Moses reached the top of the mountain, he found a flaming marijuana
plant, but it wasn't burning up! Well, this was like the most fucked thing he
had ever seen, and he was truly in awe!
"Moses. Thou hast done thy job well. Now. Scribe these commandments down
for me, for these are the rules my people are to live by.
Thou shalt have no other parties before I say so.
Thou shalt not make for thyself any idol of anything other than Bruce
Springsteen because I said so.
Thou shalt not misuse a coathanger and use it for any purpose other than
back alley abortions, for using it for any other purpose will really piss me
off!
Thou shalt remember the song Sabbath, Bloody Sabbath because it is a really
cool song, and you will listen to it as much as possible.
Thou shalt kill thy mother and thy father, for they are EVIL!
Thou shalt not kill on every third leap year that falls on a Thursday.
Thou shalt not fuck anyone else's spouse with permission.
Thou shalt never tell the truth in any Court of Law.
Thou shalt never covet what thy neighbor has, simply steal the damn thing
and get it over with."
But when the People heard the Rap music, they were apalled. They had
busted their asses to follow a drunk son of a bitch to a mountain, missing the
party and still not having any really kinky sex. Then, to top it all off, they
were forced to endure the sounds of Aborigine bongo banging with sounds like fat
lipped fuckers spitting all over the place. That was all they could take!
Well Fetus noticed this. He planted a big ass building right in the middle
of the desert where the People were, and they were amazed. He called it the
Golden Calf Tavern, and all were welcome. Inside he threw a hell of a party,
free drinks to everyone, and the kinkiest sex rites ever devised went on
inside. Adam and Eve would have been awed by the things done inside!
Everybody got fucked up royally, and they were banging like bunnies on a
hot summer night, when Moses came down from the mountain.
Moses was walking slowly, trying to balance the slabs of stone he was
carrying that had the commandments engraved upon them. When he looked down upon
the building and saw that the party had begun, and that Fetus had been
responsible, he slammed the tablets down, breaking them, ran to the building and
joined the party in the name of Fetus.
And so ended the reign of Coathanger, for the last of his followers were
bought by the thought of an eternal party, a party that only Fetus can throw.
The power of such a blow was too much for Coathanger, the last of his strength
was sapped in attempting to comprehend just exactly HOW kinky the sexual acts
actually were. Fetus reigns supreme.
*!@&^#$%!*@&#^$%#^@*#@^@*$#%@^#%!&@*#%$#&^!%$&#@%$@#%#@^#!@$!#@!@!&^#*&@!^
(c)1989 Toxic Shock - All Rights Aborted or Miscarried
The Followers Of Fetus
Bloody Afterbirth
Fetal Juice
Gross Genitalia
Twisted Testicles
Tasty Abortion
