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| There Ain't No Justice |
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| #53 |
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- 42 Creative Things to Do -
- With the American Flag -
by Kel'anth
No one really thinks of the flag as a very functional object. This
attitude is usually assumed because there isn't really much you are allowed
to do with the flag. There are fairly well-known regulations on how to
make, display, store, and dispose of these common household items. Flags
are, however, actually extremely useful and versatile items, and can be
used as such by any creative and freethinking person. I've put together a
few examples to get you started.
Two flags sewn together on three sides can be used as
1. A body bag for small children.
2. A trash bag.
3. A general-purpose sack.
The flag can also be disassembled into pieces.
4. The red and white stripes, separated, are good party decorations.
5. The starry parts make good quilting scraps.
6. The mini-pole included with H.S. classroom flags makes a good ceremonial
spear.
7. You can cut out the stars along with small circles of felt to make
Satanic symbols.
Other uses:
8. Three or four can be used to improvise a stretcher.
9. A doormat.
10. A towel.
11. A handkerchief.
12. A bandana.
13. A napkin.
14. A dustcloth.
15. A lightweight baby blanket.
16. A loincloth.
17. A tourniquet.
18. An absorbent wound dressing.
19. Flags make stylish curtains.
20. Great for hiding undesirable company logos at the Olympics.
21. Mopping up noxious spills that eat through paper towels.
22. Good for wrapping an ice pack if you want it REAL cold.
23. A flag can substitute for an expensive cardboard windshield shade.
24. A more envirionmentally friendly packing material than foam peanuts.
25. Bullfighting (in case your red cape got torn).
26. Strangling people.
27. Gagging cops and kidnap victims.
28. Throw one over a mud puddle. It keeps a lady's shoes clean but spares
your clothing.
29. When camping, use it to plug a hole in your tent. No more heavy tarps!
30. Also good for starting the campfire.
31. Soak a flag with Raid and hang it under a bug light to kill moths.
32. Why get a perfectly good rag covered with oil while servicing your car
when flags are so readily available?
33. If your car has a leather interior, spread a flag on the seat when you
get in to prevent summer ass-burn.
34. The confusing colors make flags good blindfolds.
35. They also are good for when you run out of clean cloth diapers.
36. Impregnate a flag with acid and you can sell it openly.
37. Sew small amounts of contraband under the stars to smuggle it out of
the country.
38. Flags make good stuffing for effigies of political figures.
39. They also make good bedding for household pets.
40. Use a flag to jam a paper shredder.
41. Use a toilet, then toss in a flag. It gets a great reaction.
42. Superglue one into each toilet and stall in a public building, and
watch all the patriots go out the back door one by one.
Hope this is enough to get you started. Good luck and happy flagging!
[[ Now since that was so short, and I have a bit of Kel's poetry lying ]]
[[ about, I include it as an extra.... ]]
---
No Name
---
The man with no name lived his life
By the light of his own reason
Deserted from an army in a time of strife
Was caught and hanged for treason
An alien in his land of birth
His parents he never knew
There was no place for him on Earth
His words would ring too true
No religion, no country
He danced to a different tune
Walking on the edge of society
He had to fall off soon
His body, swinging on a rope
Deprived of life and pale and cold
Is the only momument he can hope
Through which to have his story told
Yet tell me if you too can see
The triumphant smile he wears
He felt he won--how can that be?
And how strange that no one cares
---
Song of War
---
Sing a song of war
Sing a marching song
As we train for battle
As we march beyond exhaustion
As we learn to aim our guns
Sing a song of war
Sing a sailing song
As we board our floating barracks
As we cross the seven seas
As we land near the battleground
Sing a song of war
Sing a drinking song
As we fill ourselves with beer
As we dull our brains with drugs
As we distract ourselves with women
Sing a song of war
Sing a fighting song
As we march into battle
As we fill our foes with lead
As we blow their forts to shreds
Sing a song of war
Sing a dying song
As we meet their cavalry
As we dive into trenches
As we fall like bowling pins
Sing a song of war
Sing a mourning song
As we pack our dead in body bags
As we ship them back home
As we find our friends and brothers dead
---
The Machines
---
I see them every day
I see them everywhere
They look but do not see
They listen but do not hear
They touch each other, but never feel
Brains and hearts in neutral
I hear them on the radio
I see them on TV
I meet them on the street
They are everywhere
Moving on invisible tracks
Reading lines from a script
Free, yet they are slaves
Alive, yet they are dead
Human, yet they are--
--THE MACHINES
---
Invaders
---
Invaders from space
They came without guns
Yet they took our place
They were the chosen ones
They lived in our cities
Among us, yet apart
Mankind, as it watched them
Died of a broken heart
We were animals in our own eyes
Once those eyes had seen the light
Their brilliance must destroy us
The brute children of the night
---
Insight
---
I look into your eyes
I see sharp steel blades
Your stare cuts like a knife into my soul
You know what I am thinking
What I'm feeling
Who I am
And you know what can make me whole
Never in a thousand years
Have I found such a one
A sharp mind, insight so keen
It is an abstract quality
A kind of thought
A state of being
Yet I could swear I saw its sheen
---
Camera
---
All-seeing eye
Without comprehension
Perfect image
Yet without dimension
Eidetic memory
Without a mind
Superhuman sight
Yet truly blind
---
4,125,241,623
---
Citizen number four-billion
One hundred twenty-five million
Two hundred forty-one thousand, six hundred twenty-three
If there ever was a great man, it must of course be he
In school he did his homework and aced all of his tests
When it came to football he was among the best
The college he went to was top in the nation
And he chose plastic surgery as his vocation
But he could also write pop songs and his band
Soon became the most popular in the land
He became a trillionaire with a house that slept a battalion
And it was always filled with women--he was like a wild stallion
His hair was always perfect and his clothes in current fashion
When he reached his fifth facelift he tired of too much passion
He dumped most of his harem and ran for President
He paid for his campaign himself, or so the story went
The other candidates could not find any mud to sling
No action of his was controversial, not a single thing
He never got a parking ticket, he never ever got arrested
He never took an unpopular stand, or demanded that ideas be tested
It was unanimous; he won the election
Since no one found reasons against his selection
It went down in all the history books, his record was unbreakable
He did nothing right but his popularity was unshakable
He won reelection by a margin just as wide
Since he did nothing wrong who could not be on his side?
---
Computer
---
Idiot savant
Numbers' master
But words it does not know
Alien mind
Fast as lightning
Yet it can't think what to do
Soulless genius
Perfect logic
It's nothing without you
---
Inheritance
---
"I promise you, my son
Not to let you die
I promise you eternity
My inheritance, forever"
My soul, created, born
Into a world where pain is all
Chaos, order, are meaningless
Life and death, only masks
My soul, mangled, torn
Lies on the ground
Broken, bleeding
Eviscerated, crushed
In a puddle of hate and lies
Truth is a lie
Light cannot shine on me
The only truth is pain
My soul, suffering
I cannot die
No way to stop the pain
Sadness, anger, loss
All that's left is pain
"I promise you, my son
unending life, but
When did I promise you
Love, Laughter, Freedom
Hope, Light, Truth?
I promise you, my son
My inheritance--pain"
---
My Heart
---
My love, you owned my heart
But when you left, it fell apart
There's nothing left in me
To love, you did not set me free
You have killed a part of my soul
And I can never again be whole
---
Ghost
---
I live here still, alone
Where I once held the throne
Only spiders, vermin venture here
The people never dare draw near
They fear me, but who has more to fear?
I, a harmless wisp of light
Could not harm them in any fight
I am little more than a memory
Yet here I am, I cannot die
Oblivion forever eludes me
Why should people fear me, why?
And yet, they stay away
And I'm alone here, every day
Slowly going insane
---
The Sands of Time
---
They are not a placid mass
Trickling slowly through an hourglass
While the Father, long white beard
piled in his lap, not seen nor heard
leans on his sickle, deep in thought
as that which is becomes what's not
The Sands of Time are a desert dry
Where the hot sun beats down from the sky
On every traveler or nomad band
That seeks a path through the arid land
And oft the wind will whip around
Lifting the fine sand from the ground
Flinging grit through the dry hot air
And any pilgrims passing there
Are blinded, stung by the sharp fine stones
Many lose their road and go on alone
Some, despairing, lie down to die
The howling of the wind masks each final cry
And they each gain a shallow grave, where they fall
Until the dunes hear the wind's keening call
And come away, leaving the bodies once within
All gone but for dry bones and parchment skin
And at these times the Father roams the land
He emerges from the storm's blinding cloud of sand
And strides toward his victim, his beard white and long
And rippling in time with the wind's mournful song
He lifts his sharpened, bloodstained scythe above his head
And adds one to his quota of the violent dead
Then disappears into the mist to strike again
To continue his dread harvest of broken men
---
Couch Potato
---
Blob of gristly meat, still breathing
This brainless lump lies on a couch, not reading
Eating artificial snacks as his blank eyes stare
It doesn't matter what is there
The hand sometimes spasms, changing the station
A psychedelic collage of information
Washes over the empty man like the swell at sea
Yet he derives a kind of pleasure from watching TV
The eyes close, the mouth stops chewing
Sleep is not noticed, does not disturb his viewing
Dreams of sound and picture bites fill his head
Things no one ever really did, or ever really said
In the morning he rises, bestirs his ponderous weight
And leaves for the job that he loves to hate
---
Test Fire
---
It was night
A cool night in a hot summer
The moon was full and bright
It looked down on us
Watched as we lovers walked
Hand in hand on the beach
But then--
A streak of light
Blindlingly bright
A bird of ill omen
Making its flight
Toward the lovers' lovely
Celestial orb
It struck
The light
Too bright
We looked away
When we dared look back
A gash, it slashed Selene's face
Red welt
Artemis bled
Then--
she was dead
The Man in the Moon
from his smashed-in head
Wept, or so it seemed
A stone tear shed
For the lovers
For the dreamers
For the crazy caring minds
That make this globe go round
And for the suicidal folly
Of his murderers' race
Then--
No more face
No more Moon
Just a cloud of rocks
Dispersing
They could not dispel the gloom
Of the night nor of our spirits
As I held her in my arms
We wept aloud
For Selene's mutilation
For each other
For ourselves
For spirit-sisters and brothers
Our kindred in mind
And for all mankind
Now nights are dark
And tides are stilled
Since the night
Luna was killed
---
Survive
---
The world died
But never mind
Nuclear bombs go off
But all is not lost
The snakes swallows its tail
The end is only the beginning
From life comes death come life
And death again, from normal strife
Renewal comes again with passing ages
True progress comes in stages
Next time or the next
We will survive
---
Tick
---
I am alive
I will survive
I take what I need
As you bleed, I feed
Yet soon that tiny drop
Of life-energy will stop
Flowing from you too me
And when it's time to set it free
From old life will come new
And what's one drop to you?
Huge mountain of strange meat
You won't miss what I eat
Will you?
---
Hellfire
---
Feel the heat
Feel the fire
It rises
Gets higher
From the depths of Hell
They come
Bringers of Chaos
Yet organized
They sweep o'er this fragile orb
Singed flesh all around
Melting metal, softened glass
Skyscrapers collapse in glowing heaps
The demons feast on side of man
Feel the burn
Feel the darkness of death
There is nothing anyone can do
Not even you
---
Animal
---
I do what I do
Don't we all? Don't you?
A flash of inspiration
Or an instinct
Is all you need
Why such perspiration
Sweat of your high brow?
I look at your kind
You are confused
I am certain
You build your cities
And they kill you
And you fear death
And what comes after
What is after?
I have never seen it
You cry over spilt milk
Wasted tears--what is done is done
You try to understand
Wasted time--only actions count
What does your high brow bring?
Suicide
Depression
Pollution
War
Murder
Insanity
Worry
Regret
You are human
You are "advanced"
You are "superior"
You are hurting
I am animal
I am simple
I am "inferior"
I am happy
---
Teardrop
---
At the corner of your pretty blue eye
It begins
A drop of moisture
Charged with the essence of your grief
It builds
Until the time is right
It begins its journey down your pale cheek
It falls
A liquid diamond
Dropping swiftly, glittering with moonlight
It hits
Its final resting place
A tiny wetness, and sadness, I feel it
You cry
But I am here for you
---
Heartbreak #1
---
Flesh parts
Enveloping the cold steel
In a warm soft embrace
My heart open
As once before
The cold shining steel, sleek and slim and beautiful
Enters my heart
Where another, lithe and lovely, has before
And then, withdraws, leaving an emptyness
That I have felt before
A broken heart
Torn apart
Bleeding on the floor
As I have once before
And will do nevermore
---
Waterbed
---
Sleeping in perfect comfort
Dream sweet dreams
Awake with the sun
Waves roll across the waterbed
As you lazily stir
Servant brings breakfast
Then, suddenly, takes the sharp knife
Plunges it into your place of rest
Your place of comfort
Rent cloth parts
Red stain wells up
Wounded, revealing other, older wounds
Sink into the pool of blood
Servant lifts the domed lid
A human head on a silver platter
---
Traitor
---
scream
"TRAITOR!!"
desolate rocks reply
"TRAITOR!...traitor!...traitor..."
mind reels
utterly alone
without self
soul divided, at war
blood pours away
a rising red river
infinite blood
could bleed forever
drown in blood!!!
pain!
scream!
"TRAITOR!!"
mocking mountains
emptyness echoes as if alive
"TRAITOR!!"
the same voice replies
---
Grey on Black
---
Silhouettes, grey on black
Staggering, crawling through the night
Screaming, crying, dying in the night
Wheeling like a bird, a spot of light
A flitting flashlight beam picks out
From the faceless masses of sufferers
Here -- a face, contorted with pain
There -- an ankle, slashed and bleeding
Slit wrists, slit throat, gushing red
A knife embedded in a chest
A punctured head, one more is dead
The light moves on
Distracting attention from the pain
Yet the pain goes on
Silent suffering,
or screams or cries
or wistful sighs
The shapes, the shadows, crawl on unheeded
Yet the others cower, with frozen veins
---
Vampire
---
I feel the Hunger
I lust for the Hunt
Yet dare I stir from this dark crypt?
Century upon century teach caution, yet
My fangs tingle in terrible desire
Do they know me still
The mortals who swarm like bees?
Or have they forgotten
They have but short memories...
The Hunger, the yearning
Within me, is burning
No time to think
I MUST HUNT! I MUST DRINK!
Goodbye, refuge dear
I cannot remain here
Mortal blood beckons me
I shall never be free
This Hunger, I cannot resist it call
This Curse shall rule me, 'til I fall
By weak mortal's hand, or sun's bright ray
I see this, yet I cannot stay
I must take my chances, out there...
---
Sculptor of Worlds
---
I am a dreamer
Creator of visions
Sculptor of worlds
I live apart
In this world
Yet not of it
I have seen too many worlds
To think this one unique
To think it's so special
Superior to all others
I have made its betters with my own hands
What is this world,
This land, these laws,
These customs and values to me?
Yet as I strive to transcend this small world's limitations
Clinging hands, some hateful
Some loving, yet misguided
Some indifferent, yet offended
At my presumptuous exit
Try to drag me down to the ground where the pragmatists plod
They are weak, yet their numbers
Like the sand on the seashore
Uncountable, unimaginable, even by me
I feel I am falling, like a downdraft-pulled bird
Yet I feel in my wings
The strength still to rise
No more goodbyes
I will never look back once I'm free
---
Lonely Hearts
---
The loneliest heart
Is the one that most cares
Universal concern and affection and love
Lead only to universal distance
They can scarce believe a heart has room for a world
They could hardly want to crowd it
Or worse yet be crowded out
They keep their distance
There is often respect, seldom love
The largest, deepest void is the least filled
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