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There Aint No Justice 006
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*-* TTTTTTTTTT AAAAAA NNNN N J *-*
*-* T A A N N N J *-*
*-* T AAAAAAAAAA N N N J *-*
*-* T A A N N N J J *-*
*-* T A A N NNNN JJJJJ *-*
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*-* There Ain't No Justice *-*
*-* #06 *-*
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*-* Phoenix Modernz Inc. 908/830-8265 *-*
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-On the Origins of Derf-
Derf. To some, the name inspires wonder. To others, it inspires derision. Who
is this wonderous being, to whom subs and yea, even whole BBS's have been
devoted? The humble beginnings can be traced to a small Commodre BBS whose name
escapes me. But in any case, the story of Derf began there.
One fine April day, Midnite (then Midnite Raider) came over to my place for our
traditional Sunday AD&D fest. During a break, he called this BBS to show me
something. It was in part the E-Mail he had received, and part the phenomenon
which was growing. It concerned a new user calling herself Angel Baby, and
her ex-boyfriend, Kaos Kidd.
Kaos Kidd was, well, different. Barely literate, he nevertheless threw himself
headfirst into the BBS world. And so did Angel Baby. The banter between them
captured the imaginations of many... females have always been rare enough in
the electron jungle, and this one was a hoot. She was neither a teenybopper nor
an old maid, she was (fascinatingly enough for me) the same age as I. Being
without a female of my own at the time, I was to say the least, intrigued.
But this is Derf's story. Over the course of time, Derf entered the "Circle" of
my friends. We came to know and almost like him... he had a desperate need to
be liked. We indulged him in his wild ideas, and he us in ours. it was a fine
time. I sold him a spare 1200 baud modem, just so he and Angel Baby could call
my BBS (all he had was a 300 bauder, and even in 1989, I locked out the
exceptionally slow). There was a friendly rivalry between myself and several
other "adult" users for the affections of Kaos Kidd's exgirlfriend, and I, like
the others, was encouraged to "take her away, if we could".
Well, a few months went by, and something occurred that came to be called "Fred
Meeting One". (Kaos Kidd's first name was Fred, you see). A small group of us
congregated at KK's house to trade software, swap stories, and watch Midnite
hack at his first Unix account. But sometime after this meeting, the
friendships began to falter. While planning Fred meeting Two, KK decided that
he no longer wished to be known as Fred, something which he had long used
interchangably with his handle. So, the appelation of Derf was coined.
It is important to mention that it was also about this time that people began
to suspect that the woman KK had all along introduced as his sister Vicki was,
in fact, Angel Baby. Angel Baby had described herself as being a brunette, with
measurements sure to incite any adolescent (or post-adolescent) male to quite
interesting thoughts. "Vicki", on the other hand, was a bit on the large size,
and did not resemble at all the picture that she (Angel) had sent Midnite,
which he shared for the viewing pleasure of his friends.
I was actually the first person to discover the WHOLE truth. Angel Baby was NOT
KK's ex-girlfriend. She was his WIFE... and she was "Vicki". By this time, I
had been telephoning her for several months, and was quite fond of the person,
behind the voice... the relationship which developed after that is not for THIS
particular textfile...
In any case, KK's relationships continued to downslide. By the time of the
actual "Fred Meeting Two" (now more popularly called a Derf Meeting) there was
open hostility on many sides. KK's outlandish claims grew more and more
grandiose, culminating in its ultimate folly, the contraption known as DerfLink.
DerfLink had its roots in a Commodre peripherial device known as RamLink, by
Creative Micro Designs. RamLink sought to expand the Commodre RAM limits from
512k to over 4 megs. Derf (as we all called him by now) was certain that he
could improve on this device, and upon another CMD device (their series of
Commodore compatable HardDrives) by using his "vast" electronical knowlege
to allow one to connect ANY sort of hard drive to a Commodore by interfacing
them via a Tandy controller.
Needless to say, the vast majority of people who heard the original claims for
"DerfLink" were highly amused. But Derf was adamant, and claimed he could do
it. He was invited to try. Its been three years. No DerfLink yet. But the IDEA
of DerfLink has continued to grow. DerfLink has often been cited for marvelous
applications: one could interface a cow and a stove via DerfLink, and have
steaks cooked to order by your computer. Several of us have threatened over the
years to build our OWN DerfLink, complete with flashing lights, a multitude of
wires dangling everywhere, and various household appliances sticking out at odd
angles.
I think Midnite said it like this:
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
I think Chris/Liquid Jesus, Tal, and I deserve the credit for the spread
of Derfism. It never would have gone very far beyond a personal joke if
the almighty (!?) Derf himself didn't make such a big deal about it. He
regarded it as the most horrendous personal offense possible, so
essentially he added flame to his own cremation fire.
The usage of Derf, however, isn't solely a local phenomenon. On a BBS in
Blacksburg, VA, there is a sub devoted entired to Derfism, with
basically the same feelings about Derf as we have. Except, for them Derf
is a single 'entity' (whereas here we often refer to a group of Derfs,
or multiple individual Derlike persons [still recognizing the true
father of Derfism however]). (The sub is called: Pertaining to ////,
\\\\, the anti-////, or anti-\\\\. The slashes are literal, as they
never use the sacred word save for explaining to newcomers their
meaning.)
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Derf is everywhere. Thanks to the miracle of QSD, people from all over the
world have been accused of being Derf by myself and others. During the early
days of the Gulf War, the Ghost, Cool One, and myself tormented some poor,
pro-Saddam Palestinian kid with cries of "Thou Art Derf!" for over four hours.
I have seen Derf being referred to on boards in Kansas, Germany, Japan, and
Switzerland. I've even heard the occasional non-computer-person use Derf to
refer to someone.
For those of you wishing to learn even MORE about Derf, his wife Angel Baby
continues to run a BBS to this day. (July, 1992) Give it a call and commune
with the almighty Derf in person! Derf is usually there in the evenings, and
more than willing to chat about his life and the future of DerfLink to anyone
who is willing to listen. Call Angel's lair at 908-269-7810
This concludes this mostly pointless issue of TANJ. I can be contacted
anywhere, really!
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