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There Aint No Justice 004
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*-* TTTTTTTTTT AAAAAA NNNN N J *-*
*-* T A A N N N J *-*
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*-* T A A N NNNN JJJJJ *-*
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*-* There Ain't No Justice *-*
*-* #04 *-*
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*-* Phoenix Modernz Inc. 908/830-TANJ *-*
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- This Ain't No SANFile! / I Hate Banks! -
This ain't no SANFile. Thats the title of this edition of TANJ,and I mean what
I say. TANJ is the SOLE property of Phoenix Modernz Inc. If you downloaded this
textfile under any name except TANJ.004, then you have been gyped.
Phoenix Modernz is not associated in any way with SANctuary, Modernz Textfiles,
or any other group of any sort.I have nothing against the folks at SANctuary,
but to be honest, I don't know you guys, and I have no desire to become part of
what sounds like a communistic attempt to become great by joining everything
everywhere under your leadership.
I write text because I enjoy doing so. I also write text under the delusion
that someone out there enjoys reading it,but even if that were not the case,
I'd probably write for my own pleasure,anyway. Someone might even learn from my
experiences & observations. If this is the case, give TANSTAAFL a call and you
can thank me semi-personally. Who knows...I might even chat! (Inside Joke).
Now some might ask, why are you writing a file about not being a SANfile? Fair
question I suppose. I guess the reason is that when I gave Digital-demon all
rights to the MODERNZ textfiles, I did so because the rest of us in Phoenix
Modernz did not wish to be associated with strangers,as we had been in the
past. Our group previously had problems with people claiming to be in the
group who weren't, and we saw it happening all over again with this SAN
business. I know I for one was never asked if I wanted to be linked with this
new group, which was fine,since at the time I was basically in a coma anyway.
Comas are the Phoenix Modernz trademark these days...GHOST hasn't called a bbs
in months,and I have no idea what Leech has been up to lately...
In any case,when I gave the ownership over to Digital-demon,he printed my
announcement stating that he was supreme cheese along with my first TANJ file.
No problem there...I considered it a fine swan song. I was flattered, even.
But when the others started appearing in Modernz as well, I knew it was time
to write this file.
Anyway...I have been out of the text writing business for a few weeks while
I worked on another project...TLSNet. TLS (The Lawless Society) is a small
learn-as-you-go h/p group near me. I was "adopted" into the group,and have even
written one textfile under their banner (TLS 5,to be exact). The sysop of the
Syndicate, TLS's home bbs,wanted to start a network of BBS's all sharing a FIDO
type echomail structure, so he & I got to work setting up FrontDoor.
Anyone who has ever built a network from scratch knows the kind of hell we put
ourselves thru. Everything seemed harder than it was,since the instructions
for frontdoor are cryptic,at best. But we eventually got it working,so be on
the lookout for a TLSNet Site near you. TLSNet hopes to be a carrier of the
best illegal message chatter,as well as a method for spreading TLSFiles,
TANJFiles,and Modernz releases.
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Anyway,so much for long winded disclaimers.
Banks. Every town has one, or two, or more. If you have ever tried to deal with
one, I'm sure you've noticed that they are nice & friendly until they have
your money,and then....they change. My local bank recently got taken over by a
larger, statewide bank. To put it mildly, it sucks. I recently witnessed a
teller at the drivethru tell some shmoe that she couldn't cash his payroll
check (which was drawn on THAT branch of THAT bank) because he didn't have an
account there. Even more recently, I was told I could no longer cash MY payroll
check there unless I had enough money in my account to cover it.
So lets see... you can't cash a check drawn on the bank without an account,
and you can barely cash a check if you DO have an account there. It was at this
point that I started my crusade...to crush the banking infrastructure of this
country. I mean...who out there actually LIKES banks?
What must you do to join this crusade? First, get yourself a mason jar. The
mason jar represents your desire to find an alternative to a bank. Next, close
out any and all bank accounts you might have. Encourage your friends, relatives,
and neighbors to do the same. Bug people on the street about it. And then take
things a step or two beyond the usual...
A million files have been written about ATM machines. This is not going to be
another one, unless you consider the few common sense ideas I am about to
present to apply. First,you must consider that super-glue is a terrorists
best friend. It can be used to clog up every orifice on the ATM, from the
cash recieve drawer to the slot the card goes into. If your bank uses the
machines that have a window that closes over the keypad, glue that shut too.
Spray paint over the security camera, the information screen, and the keypad.
And while you're there, be sure to trash the garbage chute for discarded
cash advance reciepts.... waste not, want not!
While the bank is open, wander inside. On a busy day, you can drive their
operating costs thru the roof several ways. Steal all the pens, or better yet,
undo them and steal their innards. Take EVERY slip of paper on the counter.
All of it! If they have a desk with money market deposit slips, etc., take all
that stuff too. If its a warm day, find some way to wedge the doors open. Give
cold days a chance to drive up their costs, too. Get on line... even if you
don't want anything. And... be creative.
What to do with all those slips of paper? You could just throw them away,
or start a fire in their dumpster with them... or you could fill them all out,
and send them back. Apply for credit in a dozen different names, addresses, etc.
Someone, somewhere, will have to waste their time going thru all of your
fraudulent applications trying to sort out the real ones. This takes time, which
costs the bank even more money.
I think Mojo Nixon said it best...
"I hate banks...
I just can't stand 'em.
Gimme a shovel & man I'll plant 'em.
Six feet under thats where they belong...
I hate banks is the name of this song.
I think I'll rob myself one or two...
Yeah I hate banks, yeah, how 'bout you?
Well...lend me a nickel & lend me a dime,
repossess my house any old time.
Financial institutions think they're so high faluting...
Just a bunch of fruits in three piece suits,
trying to steal all my loot.
Things are smelling pretty rank,
We must be near a stinking bank.
Smells worse than Rockefellars feet,
Wall Street can eat my meat.
Yeah throw the moneylenders out of the temple;
I hate banks its just that simple.
Royal Crown made of tin,
is a metal thing to keep your money in.
Mason jar is okay too,
if you see a bank well you know what to do.
Now,lemme tell you people something...
The only banks I like, well, I like Ernie Banks alright.
And I like the banks of the Mississippi River...
Yeah, and I like banks of fender twin reverb...
Electric guitar amplifiers behind me, raging on the stages...
Well,when I walk in they treat me like a dog;
want to hit them in the head with a doo-doo log.
Republicans, one and all...
Their talleywhackers are mighty small.
Stealing from the poor gonna give to the rich...
Wanna make the bank president twitch in a ditch.
Yeah, see that teller with the blue hair,
giving me the evil-eye stare.
Won't cash my check don't like my ID...
got the security guard after me.
If I was E. F. Sloane,
I'd say the Dow Jones can suck my bone.
Yeah.
Everybody say the three magic words!
I want you to help me say the words!
I want you to repeat after me!
I HATE BANKS!
Can't stand 'em!
I HATE BANKS!
Don't Like 'em!
I HATE BANKS!
Bunch of Foo-Foo's!
I HATE BANKS!
Like a big zit!
I hate banks...
I just can't stand 'em.
Gimme a shovel & man I'll plant 'em.
Six feet under thats where they belong...
I hate banks is the name of this song.
I think I'll rob myself one or two...
Yeah I hate banks, yeah, how 'bout you?
Now lemme tell you something...
I'm not real fond of the PHONE COMPANY either!
You know?
Yeah, and I don't like the cable TV company.
You know why I don't like the cable TV company?
Cause they just be sucking that stuff right out the sky!
THEY don't have to pay nuttin for it!
I just get me one of them bootleg cable boxes,
and get me one of them climb the pole and stick the thing in...
I ain't gonna pay for it!
NOOOOO!!!!"
The above is copyrighted somewhere,and used completely without permission.
Somehow, I doubt Mojo will mind.
Thats it for this file. (C)opyright Phoenix Modernz.
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*-* Phoenix Modernz Inc. TANSTAAFL BBS:908/830-TANJ *-*
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