Copy Link
Add to Bookmark
Report
the unplastic news issue 05
November 1992 Unplastic News
===========================================================
O O
\ /
\ /
\ /
\ /
\ /
\ /
\ /
________________\_______/________________________
| |
| _________________________ |
| | | |
| | | | /----\ | ( ) |
| | | | | | | |
| | | | | | | ( ) |
| | \____/. | |. | |
| | | () () () |
| | unplastic news | |
| | | |
| |_______________________| |
| |
| |
|_______________________________________________|
HH HH
HH HH
HH HH
LLL LLL
________________________________________________________________________
| S E N D |
The Unplastic News#5 | T O A | FREE
| F R I E N D |
________________________|_______________|______________________________
ISSUE #5
The "Democracy Makes Me Sing With Joy" Issue
November 1992
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
========================================================================
|
| the unplastic news is available
CONTENTS: | at the following ftp news stands:
^^^^^^^^^ |
Editorial |
Material from | eff.org
B. Hathrume Duk | quartz.rutgers.edu
Poetry of Politics |
Quotes |
Things odd | or by subscription by sending e-mail to:
ascii art |
More quotes | tibbetts@hsi.hsi.com
Democracy(as seen on TV)|
=========================================================================
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
_-^--^=-_
_.-^^ -~_
_-- --_
< >)
| |
\._ _./
```--. . , ; .--'''
| | |
.-=|| | |=-.
`-=#$%&%$#=-'
| ; :|
_____.,-#%&$@%#&#~,._____
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Language is a virus from another planet."
William Burroughs
<*>-<*>-<*>-<*>-<*>-<*>-<*>-<*>-<*>-<*>-<*>-<*>-<*>-<*>-<*>-<*>-<*>-<*>-<*>
"Famous remarks are very seldom quoted correctly."
Simeon Strunsky
No Mean City (1944)
<*>-<*>-<*>-<*>-<*>-<*>-<*>-<*>-<*>-<*>-<*>-<*>-<*>-<*>-<*>-<*>-<*>-<*>-<*>
Editorial
^^^^^^^^^
Well, The Unplastic News is back for the fifth time and I have
a tiny story for YOU, the viewer.
On election morning I awoke and stumbled into the crispy
morning toward the local fire department to cast my ballot.
The 6:07am fog smelled like pumkin.
As I crossed the street, I overheard a conversation between a
young couple. "She's not a nun," the man said, "she's from
Phoenix."
I went in and voted anyway.
Later at home, as I was cleaning a shelf, I upset a paper which
fell to the floor. I read it. The paper held a quote from the
AP wire and read,
"! KICKER !
Nun Wins $1 Million in California Lottery
(Sacramento, California)--In California, a nun who has lived for
54 years under a vow of poverty has become a (M) millionaire in
the state lottery's Big Spin Game.
Sister Josephine Contris, assigned to a convent in Redwood City,
is pledging to use the money to support a financially strapped
retirement home in Santa Maria.
With members of her order in the television studio audience
cheering her on, Sister Josephine turned down a sure 40-thousand
dollars to take a chance for the one (M) million-dollar prize."
Just as I finished reading, my friend Toeless Peetie Schamata
arrived with an atlas. He said, "Yo, Thal. You gotta help me
plan my road trip. I'm driving from Phoenix to Sacramento in
July with my brother Two-Digit Willie and his friend from the
band Anal Flapjack, the one with the ear infection."
He stopped speaking and stared at me.
I cracked awake suddenly.
I was doused with epiphany and sparked with satori.
I again smelled the pumpkins.
I awoke because I remembered that just three days before, Toeless
Peetie Schamata had arrived at my Holloween party dressed as a nun.
It was then that I realized, suddenly and with hope, that I would
have no more election media to take my mind off quacky synchronicities
and things would be getting back to normal. Only this time, deeper.
Thaloneous Platypus
Editor-in-Chief
Tangiers, 1992
^~!^~!^~!^~!^~!^~!^~!^~!^~!^~!^~!^~!^~!^~!^~!^~!^~!^~!^~!^~!^~!^~!^~!^~!^~!
"Politics and the fate of mankind are formed by men without ideals
and without greatness. Those who have greatness within them do not go in
for politics."
Albert Camus
****************************************************************************
The Poetry Of H. Ross Perot
ALLIANCE AIRPORT TO LINDA
---------------- --------
We So now
own that you have-
this land.
you know, whoever
I don't spend
any time you're trying
on this land. to do
This a favor
is a tiny for
little piece
-you've done it-
of my
business and I'm sure
interests. you had
It's like a smirk
a grain on your mouth
of sand.
as you got me
(recited on ABC's Town Meeting, into this.
June 29, 1992)
(composed for Linda
Wertheimer on NPR)
>From SPY Magazine
November 1992
-$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
(Associated Press)
OROVILLE - A recent burglary victim attending a neighborhood watch meeting
spotted her television, Christmas stockings and other lost items in the home
of the neighbor hosting the meeting, police said.
"The clincher was that the woman putting on the neighborhood watch program
was wearing the victim's dress," Oroville police Detective Art Hatley said.
The victim, Nancy Miler, sat calmly through the discussion by neighbors and
two Oroville police officers, Hatley said.
"She kept her head about it. Then, when the meeting was over, she waited
outside for the officers and told them what she had seen," he said.
Detectives obtained search warrants for the home and for a locker the
residents rented at a storage business.
When they served the warrants Wednesday, they found about $9,000 worth of
stolen property belonging to Miller and other burglary victims in both
places, police said. They also found an ounce of methamphetamines.
Denise and Jeffrey Lagrimas were arrested on charges of possession of
stolen property and methamphetamines for sale. They were booked into Butte
County Jail and released on $10,000 bail each.
Miller lost the television set, dress and other items when her storage
locker, at the same business where the Lagrimases had a locker, was
burglarized in mid-November.
+-*+-*+-*+-*+-*+-*+-*+-*+-*+-*+-*+-*+-*+-*+-*+-*+-*+-*+-*+-*+-*+-*+-*+-*+-*
"Money is life. Not in the sense that without money you
starve. Not in the sense that capital gives one class power
over the entire lives of another class. But in the sense that
money is the token of, and the key to, every human capacity.
The power to spend money is the power to live. According to
the legends of publicity, those who lack the power to spend
money become literally faceless. Those who have the power
become lovable."
John Berger
WAYS OF SEEING
1972
}-{o}-{o}-{o}-{o}-{o}-{o}-{o}-{o}-{o}-{o}-{o}-{o}-{o}-{o}-{o}-{o}-{o}-{o}-{o}-{o
Jane and I got mixed up with a television show -- or as we call it back
east here: TV -- a clever contraction derived from the words Terrible
Vaudeville. However, it is our latest medium -- we call it a medium because
nothing's well done. It was discovered, I suppose you've heard, by a man
named Fulton Berle, and it has already revolutionized social grace by
cutting down parlour conversation to two sentences: "What's on television?"
and "Good night".
Goodman Ace
Letter to Groucho Marx, in The Groucho Letters (1967)
}-{o}-{o}-{o}-{o}-{o}-{o}-{o}-{o}-{o}-{o}-{o}-{o}-{o}-{o}-{o}-{o}-{o}-{o}-{o}-{o
We are now, there can be no doubt, in the final historical seconds of that
crisis - a crisis which involves the end of history, our departure from
the planet, the triumph over death, and the release of the individual from
matter. We are, in fact, closing distance with the most profound event a
planetary ecology can encounter - the freeing of life from the dark
chrysalis of matter.
In other words, we humans may be released into a realm of pure self-
engineering. This was Blake's perception. This is where we came from. This
is where we are going. And it is only to be approached through cognitive
activity.
Terence McKenna
"New Maps of Hyperspace"
(~~) (__) (~~) (__)(~~) (__)(~~) (__)(~~) (__)(~~) (__)(~~) (__)(~~) (__)--
Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to
realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
Ronald Reagan
At a conference in Los Angeles, 2 Mar. 1977
(~~) (__) (~~) (__)(~~) (__)(~~) (__)(~~) (__)(~~) (__)(~~) (__)(~~) (__)--
____________________ ?
/ \ \ ____________
! ! / \
! ! ! \
\____________________/ ! \
! ! ! \_____
! ! ! !
L_ ! ! !
/ _)! ! ____!
/ /__L ! /
_____/ (____) ! /
(____) ! /
_____ (____) \____________/
\_(____) / \
! ! [][][][][][][][]__! !________
! ! / \___
\__/ \_______________________________/ \
STRIKE ANY KEY WHEN READY !
==============================================================================
K E M P in 92 ... NOT!
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
"The feminist agenda," Pat Robertson observed in a recent letter
to his supporters, "is not about equal rights for women. It is
about a socialist, anti-family political movement that
encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their
children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become
lesbians."
================================================================================
On the national scene, the long, twisted road to democratic practice
is winding down. For the first time in my life it seems like someone who I want
to win is going to finally win. The Reagan-Bush-Quayle monstrosity, a beast
which ruled the land throughout my teenage years and in to my early twenties,
has slimed for the last time, or at least until the next election.
B. Hathrume Duk
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
"Masturbation is the thinking man's television."
Christopher Hampton
Philanthropist (1970)
)0(0)0(0)0(0)0(0)0(0)0(0)0(0)0(0)0(0)0(0)0(0)0(0)0(0)0(0)0(0)0(0)0(0)0(0)0(0)0(0
"Nice June day out today, lots of people probably graduating.
I can see the Cloisters with its million in medieval art out
the bedroom window. I got to go in and puke. I just want to
be pure..."
Jim Carroll
BASKETBALL DIARIES
1963
]==[...]==[...]==[...]==[...]==[...]==[...]==[...]==[...]==[...]==[...]==[...]
Alliance, n. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have
their hands so deeply inserted in each other's pocket that they cannot
separately plunder a third.
Ambrose Bierce
Cynic's Word Book (1906)
]==[...]==[...]==[...]==[...]==[...]==[...]==[...]==[...]==[...]==[...]==[...]
Political Poetry
from Roger Simons colum in the Baltimore Sun
October 28, 1992
Bill Clinton's excuses run hollow.
With logic that's quite hard to follow.
When asked about beer,
He said with a leer,
"I tasted, but I didn't swallow."
A tycoon made us swoon in the spring
Not a pol! Just clear answers he'd bring.
Though once in absentia,
He's back with dementia!
Thinks we're calling for him to be king!
There's been trouble ever since he began.
Iran-contra... S&Ls ... and there's Dan!
But the biggest non-winner
Was when George left his dinner
On the prime minister of Japan
OoOoOo00000OoOoOo00000OoOoOo00000OoOoOo00000OoOoOo00000OoOoOo00000OoOoOo00000
"Television has brought back murder into the home--where it belongs."
Alfred Hitchcock
OoOoOo00000OoOoOo00000OoOoOo00000OoOoOo00000OoOoOo00000OoOoOo00000OoOoOo00000
Art without engineering is dreaming. Engineering without art is
calculating.
-- Steven K. Roberts in "Computing Across America"
{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}
Ronald McClanahan, 41, was arrested in September when he tried to rob a
Columbia, Mo., gun shop with a knife. He tried to open the electronic
cash register by randomly pushing buttons, but then became frustrated and
tried to carry it away until the cord got caught, yanking him to the floor.
When an employee approached with a shotgun, McClanahan first lay perfectly
still, then bolted up, yelling, "Go ahead and shoot me," then tried to lug
the cash register out again. Then he dropped it so he could flee, but when
the drawer broke open, he stopped to grab some money. As he ran for the
exit, gun-wielding employees blocked him. When police arrived, they had
to use force to loosen his grip on the money.
News Of The Weird
=*=/\=*=/\=*=/\=*=/\=*=/\=*=/\=*=/\=*=/\=*=/\=*=/\=*=/\=*=/\=*=/\=*=/\=*=/\
'The man is definitely paranoid. I think he's crackers... I once knew a man
who used to stare at a light bulb for hours and talk to Jesus. He really
believed that he was talking to Jesus.'
G. Gordon Liddy
commenting on
H. Ross Perot
=+-+==+-+==+-+==+-+==+-+==+-+==+-+==+-+==+-+==+-+==+-+==+-+==+-+==+-+==+-+==+-+=
"Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and
deserve to get it good and hard."
H. L. Mencken
Little Book in C major (1916)
=+-+==+-+==+-+==+-+==+-+==+-+==+-+==+-+==+-+==+-+==+-+==+-+==+-+==+-+==+-+==+-+=
We were all punks, didn't have anything worth living for. I had
a job once for a few months, some new rationing plan came through,
and my boss burned the place down and shot himself. I guess he
wasn't making any money. None of us had jobs now except for a
little dealing once in a while. I knew they'd throw in with me
if the price was right."
Gerry Reith
NEUTRON GUN
/-\_/-\_/-\_/-\_/-\_/-\_/-\_/-\_/-\_/-\_/-\_/-\_/-\_/-\_/-\_/-\_/-\_/-\_/-\_/-\_
"Democracy is the name we give the people whenever
we need them."
Arman de Caillavet
31 May 1913
/-\_/-\_/-\_/-\_/-\_/-\_/-\_/-\_/-\_/-\_/-\_/-\_/-\_/-\_/-\_/-\_/-\_/-\_/-\_/-\_
ascii art provided by:
______ ____________________
/ / ._>____ __ __ __ __ __ Bryan So (so@betty.cs.wisc.edu)
/ / . \ / ._>\ ' //. |/ ' / Computer Sciences Department
/_/____//_\_\ / //_\_|_/\_/ 1210 W. Dayton
______________ /_/_________ Madison, WI 53706
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
STAY TUNED
The Unplastic News #6 is in the pot and boiling.
Enjoy your new president before he sours.
questions & comments to: tibbetts@hsi.hsi.com
Special Thanks To: B. Hathrume Duk
Who nearly gave his life so that this issue could be completed.
_ _
___ (o)-___ ___-(o) ___
////\_|_/\\\\ ////\_|_/\\\\
, | , , | ,
'|` '|`
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
S E N D U S S T U F F
_______________________________________________________________________________
This is not the age of pamphleteers. It is the age of the engineers. The
spark-gap is mightier than the pen. Democracy will not be salvaged by men
who talk fluently, debate forcefully and quote aptly.
Lancelot Hogben
Science for the Citizen (1938)
