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The Neo-Comintern 202
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The Neo-Comintern Electronic Magazine -- Installment Number 202
.... .. . . . . . . . . . . . . .. ....
`""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""'
Subversive Literature for Subverted People
Date: May 26, 2002
Editor: BMC
Writers: ada
BMC
d""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""b.
;P Featured in this installment: .b
$ $
$ Confessions of a Hat Thief - ada $
$ Bugz in Tha House! - BMC $
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`nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn'
EDITOR'S NOTE
(please do not read the following)
here's something grand - "1000"
Hi! It's me. BMC, the editor of the Neo-Comintern, remember? I talked
to you one time. No, I don't remember where. It was in this place,
and when you walked in everything else disappeared. Then it was just you
and me. Then I disappeared and then it was just you. And then I think
you disappeared too. So I'm not sure if you remember me like that anyway.
But what I wanted to say - what I wanted to say - what I wanted to say
was very important. IS very important.
Out of the corner of my eye, you look weird.
my girl, did you find the letter I wrote to you? it was markings on a
paper, the only evidence of my life you would ever see. as you look at
it, remember that I meant everything. and believe that words can last
forever. and, if you ever can, please write back to me.
i looked into the mirror and saw you.
,o$o
o$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$Y$$$$b
d$$$' ` `$$b
d$$' Confessions of a Hat Thief ,$$
$$: By ada ,$P
`$n,.. . . . . . . . . . . . . ..P'
`"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""'
it started the night I kept your hat at the foot of my bed. you know the
one. gray, itchy, feels like lichen against my forehead... the one I
wore to work without telling you. tomorrow I have to find a way to put it
back. until then I wanted to ask you something. do you remember the
movie where the guy in the hat kills the other guy in the hat? it's
symptomatic of how the thing watches me when I'm trying to sleep...
pulling the steel wool over my eyes. it's hard to believe you would own a
hat like that.
tell me, what's the big deal anyway? why do you need it back so badly?
do you think I have lice? or dandruff maybe? it's not that I don't wash
my hair anyhow. it's not that I don't take care of it. I even started
sleeping with it last week (that's partly to ward off any evil plans of
suffocating me to death). it's not an obsession, or a compulsion really.
I guess I just wanted to get inside your head, and the best way to do
that, was to steal your hat. sometimes I like to wear it while I'm
eating. last night I had my supper, fried chicken and potatoes, and I
wore the hat for comfort. I lied to myself though, I told myself I was
wearing it because our apartment is cold and I have to wash my hair at
night so I don't walk to work with soggy shoulders.
it's not that I don't respect you either... or your stuff. I mean, it's
all just possessions anyway. I didn't realize you were so materialistic.
I guess I didn't know you very well at all when I decided to move in with
you. it's bad enough that you only lock the door cause you're afraid your
bike will get stolen, but now you've realized the truth. the thief is
right here in your apartment. the fucker sleeps in the room next to
yours, separated by thin yellow walls, and maybe a bookshelf. I'll tell
you one thing, hats are meant to keep heads warm. maybe you should have
considered buying earmuffs instead.
,o$o
o$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$Y$$$$b
d$$$' ` `$$b
d$$' Bugz in Tha House! ,$$
$$: by BMC ,$P
`$n,.. . . . . . . . . . . . . ..P'
`"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""'
There are two ways you can view a bug in your house: the intruder or the
lost soul. I always go for the lost soul view, since bugs are barely
sapient and would be unable to pull off such a plan as taking your house
over. Some people view bugs as intruders, but... that's just fucking
stupid.
One thing we can all agree on is that we don't want our houses to be
co-habited by free-running bugs of all kinds (unless we are very "
earthy"). So the question is what to do about them.
1) Squish them in a kleenex. This is what tissues were made for. So just
pick up that little creature who has lost his way from his family and
squish the fuck out of him. Hopefully the same would happen to you if
you were ever in a strange city and needed directions. You'd ask some
burly trucker and he'd squeeze your guts out like a tube of toothpaste.
2) Flush them down the toilet. This is such a great idea that it makes me
wonder why they don't use drowning as the prime method of capital
punishment! Not only is it easy, but once the creature is submerged
you can quickly put it out of your mind as it suffers a horribly
painful death!
3) Put them outside. If I was lost, I'd certainly prefer if someone put
me back where I was supposed to be instead of murdering me. I
understand that you don't want bugs in your house, but if you were in a
bear's forest I'm sure you would rather have them chase you back to the
city instead of slaying you on the spot. The point is, just because an
animal is bigger and stronger, that doesn't give it the right to kill
anything it wants. If that were the case, we wouldn't have any moral
objection to killing small children. Well, I kind of don't, but that's
another story (see small hands hashbrowns recipe).
Now, my point is, don't kill the bugs in your house! Put them outside!
It only takes a second of effort. If I had to walk all the way to the
door of my house to spare your life, I would do it. So why don't you do
the same for all of the other little living creatures?
I thank you on behalf of all of the animals in the world.
.d&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&b.
The Neo-Comintern Magazine / Online Magazine is seeking submissions.
Unpublished stories and articles of an unusual, experimental, or
anti-capitalist nature are wanted. Contributors are encouraged to
submit works incorporating any or all of the following: Musings, Delvings
into Philosophy, Flights of Fancy, Freefall Selections, and Tales of
General Mirth. The more creative and astray from the norm, the better.
For examples of typical Neo-Comintern writing, see our website at
<http://www.neo-comintern.com>.
Submissions of 25-4000 words are wanted; the average article length is
approximately 200-1000 words. Send submissions via email attachment to
<bmc@neo-comintern.com>, or through ICQ to #29981964.
Contributors will receive copies of the most recent print issue of The
Neo-Comintern; works of any length and type will be considered for
publication in The Neo-Comintern Online Magazine and/or The Neo-Comintern
Magazine.
- - - - -- -------===========================------- -- - - - -
___________________________________________________
|THE COMINTERN IS AVAILIABLE ON THE FOLLOWING BBS'S |
|~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~|
| TWILIGHT ZONE (905) 432-7667 |
| BRING ON THE NIGHT (306) 373-4218 |
| CLUB PARADISE (306) 978-2542 |
| THE GATEWAY THROUGH TIME (306) 373-9778 |
|___________________________________________________|
| Website at: http://www.neo-comintern.com |
| Questions? Comments? Submissions? |
| Email BMC at bmc@neo-comintern.com |
|___________________________________________________|
- - - - -- -------===========================------- -- - - - -
copyright 2002 by #202-05/26/02
the neo-comintern
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You may redistribute this document, although no fee can be charged and
the content must not be altered or modified in any way. Unauthorized use
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