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t h e n e o - c o m i n t e r n e l e c t r o n i c m a g z i n e
I n s t a l l m e n t N u m b e r 1 5 9
We Are the New International
June 24th, 2001
Editor: BMC
Writers:
AlterEcho
Spite
Bu Joe
Heckat
Margarina Cataclysma
Cog
BMC
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;P Featured in this installment .b
$ $
$ Aye. Eye. I. - AlterEcho $
$ Miss Summer Breezes Speaks! - Spite $
$ Up Close and Personal - Bu Joe $
$ Leaves of Grass - Heckat $
$ Dullness Masked in a Sly Manner - Margarina Cataclysma $
$ Yahweh - Cog $
$ I Don't Care if She Cries when She Reads This - BMC $
`q p'
`nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn'
EDITOR'S NOTE
(please do not read the following)
:::::::::::
:+: thought it would be fun to do anextra
+:+ personal theme issue this week.
+#+
+#+ hope you get a kick out of seeing us
#+# at our most vulnerable.
###########
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;P AYE. EYE. I. .b
`q by AlterEcho p'
`nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn'
- I, Claudius.
- I mean - I, AlterEcho.
- (I am nervous.)
- I don't like talking about myself, really.
- I don't know what to say.
- I do actually know what I want to say, but I thought it would be more
stylish if I didn't admit to it.
- I think the most important thing for me is for people to like me.
- I would give you the shirt off my back, all you need to do is ask.
- I am currently not wearing a shirt, but instead my favourite ripped jeans,
my lucky purple boxers, my brand new Something for Kate hood, and a
t-shirt advertising a now bankrupt supermarket in the Philippines.
- I think there is difference between a shirt and a t-shirt, obviously, and
I'm not just talking about the 't'.
- I am a manic-depressive, but lately I have been working on the manic.
- I want to be a rock star.
- (I play the trombone.)
- I would also like to be an actor, a writer, a professional thief and a
popular politician, but not necessarily simultaneously or in that order.
- I think that if I were in charge of the entire world, it would be a much
better place to live in for all, except really stupid people whom I would
be forced to exterminate for the good of society.
- I would call myself Flash Buckland if I were a porn star, because someone
told me you take the name of your first pet as your first name and the
name of the first street you lived in for your surname.
- I would like to say that I love you, but that would be blatant plagiary.
- I am (currently) in love with the red-haired Antichrist with whom I work.
- I am more in love with Alyson Hannigan, and one day I will marry her.
- I think marriage is a dead insitution.
- I have never had a steady girlfriend.
- I am not sure if this is a bad thing or not.
- I am an intellectual (indeed almost a genius), at the same time I am not
very clever and so need to study harder than anyone else.
- I stole that from Sue Townsend's 'True Confessions of Adrian Albert Mole,
Margaret Hilda Roberts and Susan Lilian Townsend', so I guess I am a
plagiarist.
- I love you.
d""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""b.
;P MISS SUMMER BREEZES SPEAKS! .b
`q by Spite p'
`nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn'
- I have a real name, but I don't like it very much so I won't tell you what
it is.
- I once ate an entire box of Kraft Dinner, just to see if I could do it.
- I have read the book "The Catcher in the Rye" about 5 times.
- I quit university two years ago because I didn't know what I wanted to do
with my life.
- I still don't know.
- I am currently hooked on a old band called "Neutral Milk Hotel" and I
suggest you listen to them.
- I can sit and think for an extended period of time and then not remember
what I was thinking about.
- I was crowned Miss Summer Breezes 1992.
- I didn't want to give back the cheesy tiara at the end of my reign.
- I am finding it suprisingly difficult to write this article.
- I drank coffee at the Voy once and liked it.
- I still cry every time I see the movie Titanic.
- I can only play one song on my guitar.
- I tried to learn German when I was in university, but I dropped the class
because it was too hard.
- I really like playing golf.
- I want to be famous for something someday.
- I miss being a little kid sometimes.
- I like the idea of being in a meaningful relationship, but I can never
commit to one.
- I am trying to grow my hair out, but I always end up getting it cut short
again.
- I prefer silver over gold.
- I have a pet turtle, and I feed him goldfish sometimes.
- I dressed up as Don Cherry for Halloween one year.
- I dropped acid once and thought I had the origins of life all figured out
by staring at the ceiling.
- I believe in karma.
- I crave Big Macs from MacDonald's, despite the fact I find them almost
revolting.
d""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""b.
;P UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL .b
`q by Bu Joe p'
`nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn'
- I am bu joe
- I love reading
- I love films
- I am going to make movies some day
- I also want to write a book
- I watch 4-5 films a day
- I hate sit-coms
- I really hate soap operas
- I love Quentin Tarantino, Kevin Smith and Robert Rodriguez
- I like nature shows
- I love nature
- I smoke cigarettes
- I play TEOS religiously
- I write DoC
- I should update DoC
- I am a Coke drinker not a Pepsi drinker
- I have a crush on Claire Forlani
- I am glad men don't give birth
- I don't go to school
- I am a socialist (at times)
- I dislike china
- I love Tibet
- I am a Buddhist
- I hate capitalism
- I want to have 2 daughters and a son
- I once skipped class to watch squirrels look for food and fight
- I want to move to Manchester, England
- I love soccer
- I love Manchester United
- I hate Liverpool
- I prefer a shaved head then long hair
- I love Billy Bragg
- I love Oi music
- I am done
d""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""b.
;P LEAVES OF GRASS .b
`q by Heckat p'
`nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn'
- I am afraid of the blinking light on my answering machine
- I am convinced that one of my relatives (no, I'm not going to tell you
which one) will try to kill me someday
- I am embarrassed that when I ice skate, I look like a duck
- I am insanely addicted to my flannelette sheets
- I was given a feather pillow when I was a toddler and I kept it for
twenty-two years until I realized it was probably crawling with little
microscopic living things and then I threw it in the garbage
- I have fish named after the leading men in two of Jane Austin's novels...
Knightly and Darcy
- I have a cat who I consider to be the best in the world, but I must
confess that I gave her a name that means "fetter," just as a joke
- I do not believe I can psychologically damage my cat by giving her a name
that was inspired by my evil sense of humour
- I am addicted to the popcorn made in my popper, but I also enjoy Rainbow
Cinemas popcorn
- I haven't much enjoyed many of the movies I've seen at Rainbow Cinemas,
but I find that bad movies are actually the most enjoyable to watch in the
theatre
- I used to pretend I was a member of a coven of witches with my cousin and
we would invent spells to cast on people
- I don't believe in true love
- I used to wish I was a beautiful medieval princess, but it was more
because of the clothes than any aristocratic aspirations
- I like to make lists of things that I would buy if I had money
- I own about five hundred books
- I never wear a watch but I like it when other people do
- I once retrieved a banana from where I had stored it (I was two years old
and my storage spot was a big old vase my mom kept on the living room
floor) and began to eat it, but my mother ruined my fun when she saw me
and mistook the grey, mouldy banana for a mouse and began screaming
- I feel happiest when no one's actually watching me, but I like to pretend
someone is
- I like it when people tell me secrets
- I am deathly afraid of sharks
- I like the idea of having "lunch time"
- I only like telling time on a twelve-hour clock with hands
- I wish I had my very own greyhound dog named Syracuse
- I want to be reincarnated as a burly carpenter
- I want you to love me
d""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""b.
;P DULLNESS MASKED IN A SLY MANNER .b
`q by Margarina Cataclysma p'
`nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn'
- i am, simultaneously, both myself and the roaring strobing pride of lions
that springs from my mouth.
- i am sure you know the colour of morning.
- i just ashed my smoke into an old beer can.
- i was then, and am now, right on target.
- i don't like your attitude, suh.
- i made the little round bun.
- i'll save it for a rainy day, as per instruction.
- "i am a cowgirl to your Krishna," thinks i to myself as i lie awake
screaming silently.
- i am on assignment.
- i was misted by the clouds that hung over the green mountains.
- i spend an inordinately large amount of time not reading.
- i wonder what's got her goat?
- i am bouncing my mattress in time with the music.
- i don't care about nothin', nohow.
- i hope + wish + pray that Doug brings that bottle of scotch back with him.
- i am folded within a heavy blanket of rocks and trees.
- i am distilled by your kiss.
- i have dust and dirt.
- i was born to serve one purpose.
- i am your insufferable nightmare and your escape.
- i am not afraid of your greed.
- i am a seed, their seed, your seed.
- i like to kick dirt.
- i may change my mind.
d""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""b.
;P YAHWEH .b
`q by Cog p'
`nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn'
- I hate theme issues.
- I keep saying that I dislike them, but to no avail.
- I am writing an article for this theme issue.
- I know now that I will burn in hell for giving up so easily.
- I was thinking of writing an extremely long haiku in this style.
- I decided against it.
- I realised it wouldn't really be a haiku if I did that.
- I thought of writing a suicide note in this format.
- I am not entirely convinced that this isn't, in fact, a suicide note.
- I am starting to believe that it actually is.
- I have taken a step back for a moment.
- I am merely writing a cry for help.
- I don't think it's really even an effective cry.
- I see it as more of a whimper.
- I don't even think it's for help.
- I think it's actually a whimper for something to drink.
- I think it's milk that I would most likely whimper for.
- I really don't know why I would write a whimper for milk.
- I am allergic to it.
- I just thought of something...
- I bet that an ancient Roman guy might get confused with all these I's.
- I mean, he would think they were Roman numerals.
- I once again have demonstrated a tendancy to belabour a joke.
- I could probably write all day following this format.
- I kinda think it would be funny if this ended up being, like, a novel.
- I would laugh as people thought it was some sort of "nouveau modèle de
l'écriture".
- I could then learn french to learn that the preceding meant "new style of
writing".
- I am sitting here thinking, "Je déteste des articles avec commun un lien!"
- I think all this French stuff is funny (for the moment).
- I don't think I could do this all day anymore.
- I realise that now.
- I am becoming very self-centered while writing about only myself like
this.
- I just fired my secretary, disowned my family, and ridiculed a small child
on a simple whim.
- I did it because writing in this style makes me egotistical.
- I noticed that I over-explained that joke as well.
- I apologise for calling that last bit a "joke".
- I guess it wasn't actually all that funny.
- I suppose it was some sort of "nouveau comédie"
- I bet you're wondering what makes a guy like me tick.
- I notice that you come here often.
- I don't usually see a nice reader like you in a place like this.
- I am not kidding anyone.
- I can't really see you.
- I think you know that.
- I go on to think that I just shattered the entire illusion of the fourth
wall.
- I mean, in the literary world.
- I guess I just ruined it for everyone.
- I hope we can still be friends...
- I see that you're getting bored.
- I yam what I yam, and that's ALL what I yam.
- You just stopped reading the article.
d""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""b.
;P I DON'T CARE IF SHE CRIES WHEN SHE READS THIS .b
`q by BMC p'
`nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn'
- I already wrote a whole bunch of these on my writer's page, so I should be
warmed up by now
- I wanna be cool, tall, vulnerable and luscious
- I sometimes lose all self confidence and get an uncomfortable cold chill
through my body
- I have recently started playing tennis
- I have only got one year left to go to get my degree
- I slept for 11 hours last night, but only 6 the night before
- I become obsessed with certain video games (ie Buster Bros)
- I want to write some poetry because DAMMIT my writing needs more of a
poetical element in it
- I occasionally cling to close-mindedness because I am afraid to admit how
much I have to learn
- I like humankind because of the potential we have, but I hate individual
human beings because there are not enough who have the morals and the
leadership to make the world better for everyone and not just themselves
- I don't believe in spirituality or salvation but that which we create for
ourselves, and there is nothing wrong with that as long as it doesn't
upset anyone
- I believe that love can be a perfectly rational thing
- I am fully aware that someday I will look back on my present state of mind
with shame
- I want to achieve enlightenment, but the struggle for it may last forever
- I would go there today if I knew the way
- I would rather make a difference in the world than be rich or famous
- I am into the 4th dimension but I'm not sure about the 5th
- I have been trying my hand at poetry lately, did I mention that?
- I would drink some tea, but I am at university and don't have any money
and even if I drank it my nerves would fizzle and I'd feel like crap
- I am the reincarnation of Grub Street
- I have recently watched Citizen Kane
- I have a cat who enjoys aromatherapy
- I know that if you are breaking the rules you have to break them well, but
if you follow the rules you also have to follow the well
- I am not much into the rules anyway, but there are probably a bunch of
them that I inadvertantly follow
- I am currently fighting the urge to call asleep (and I hope you aren't
fighting the same symptom due to reading this)
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___________________________________________________
|THE COMINTERN IS AVAILIABLE ON THE FOLLOWING BBS'S |
|~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~|
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|___________________________________________________|
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| Email BMC at: thebmc@home.com |
|___________________________________________________|
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Copyright 2001 by The Neo-Comintern #159-06/24/01
All content is property of The Neo-Comintern.
You may redistribute this document, although no fee can be charged and the
content must not be altered or modified in any way. Unauthorized use of any
part of this document is prohibited. All rights reserved. Made in Canada.
