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The Neo-Comintern 131
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t h e n e o - c o m i n t e r n e l e c t r o n i c m a g z i n e
I n s t a l l m e n t N u m b e r 1 3 1
We Are the New International
December 3rd, 2000
Editor: BMC
Writers:
Gnarly Wayne
BMC
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;P Featured in this installment .b
$ $
$ Sex Chart v.187 - BMC $
$ An Interesting List - Gnarly Wayne $
`q p'
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EDITOR'S NOTE
Before we get into any articles this week I would just like to proudly
announce that after five years The Neo-Comintern has finally been picked up
by another BBS! Yes, ladies and lads, I'm talking about the world-famous
TWILIGHT ZONE BBS
(9o5-432-7667)
The Sysop, Rebel, has been kind enough to grant The Neo-Comintern a special
file section on her BBS (appropriately entitled "text"). Also, this BBS
features the excellent science-fiction game TEOS (The Exploration of Space,
for those of you who are not in the know). I cannot stress enough how
thankful I am to Rebel for her promotion of the Neo-Comintern within her
sphere, and I owe her the stars and nothing less. So Twilight Zone BBS, the
stars are yours now. Nope, no need to thank me, you've earned them.
"Hey BMC, how come you have that list of non-operational BBSes at the bottom
of every issue?"
I have had that very question posed to me many times since the The
Neo-Comintern (1998)'s conception that stormy February morning. Well the
reason, simply put, is to pay tribute to these fine BBSes whose Sysops loved
the original Comintern (1995) with all their hearts and whose combined
clientele downloaded almost thirty copies per issue. Also, when the N-Com
started up (1998) we were using a modified version of the template from the
1995 series (1995) and I just could not (and never have been able to) let go
of Saskatoon's two greatest BBSes ever: Nightstalker's "Gateway Through
Time" and The Kid's "Club Paradise." Bring on The Night wasn't bad either.
Blah Blah Blah, right? WRONG! FUCKING WRONG! Cause there's a new BBS in
town, baby! Well, actually it's not in my town but in Oshawa, and it's not
really new either, well unless you're talking about it in relation to the
age of the universe... cause then it's, like, really new.
So anyway, before you read the articles today, I would like you to scroll
down and take a look at the BBS list at the bottom, because for the first
and possibly the last time ever it has been updated and YES I love this BBS
as though it were the blood in my own body.
"Hey BMC, what's a BBS?"
Shut up.
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;P SEX CHART v.187 .b
`q by BMC p'
`nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn'
official computer scene sexchart update
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The other day I was looking at all things on the INTERNET and I saw that
there is an official document that gives detail of all sexual activity
that takes place within the "computer scene." Despite the 3litist sound
of this, I decided to read on and as I looked at the chart my life changed.
Everything suddenly had meaning to me, and not just a shallow Hallmark
greeting card meaning, this was more like one of those really deep Hallmark
cards. It changed the core of my being. I felt as though I had a soul
for the very first time.
What is the computer sex chart? What is going on? What is this? I didn't
know, but I could feel the metamorphosis before I even found out. And
once I did find out... wow!
I learned that in this list "a link is denoted by any sexual action between
computer users that is capable of spreading an std, with a minimum
requirement of wet kissing," and, "an email address is qualification for
this chart."
Well, hey! The list surely must include me then! I have an email address
<thebmc@home.net> and I have gotten wet with a few motherfuckers, so
surely there must be mention of me on the list.
I scanned through and saw the names of people who have become known for
their loose morality and waistbands. Oh god, where would I find myself on
the list? Surely I must fit in to this category of people "capable of
spreading STDs." I kept scrolling down, hoping that I would find my name
among the computer world's most promiscuous people. Please let me be a
notorious slut, Jesus, you owe me that much.
Alas, I could not find my name anywhere on the chart. I started to become
jealous because I had never heard of any of the people on the list or
even had sex with them. I decided to draw a sex chart starting with The
Neo-Comintern staff and expanding from there, and what do you know, I
discovered that we actually do link into the big sex chart! So if you
know the person who is in charge of the list, please forward this
textfile to them.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Neo-Comintern
BMC ---------------- Cog ----.
||`---. ||| |
|| | ||| |
|| Gnarly Wayne ---'|| |
|| | | || |
|Junior Haagis -|-----'| a popsicle stick
| | | | |
Margarina Cataclysma --' a watermelon with a tiny hole drilled in it
|
Trilobyte
Note: we are all related to each other
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
See? SO they can put us on the chart now because we are obviously cool and
deviant enough! Yay!
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;P AN INTERESTING LIST .b
`q by Gnarly Wayne p'
`nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn'
BMC turned to me and slurred something about dissing Cog every two weeks or
something. I said I need to conserve my insults for every person, whether
young or old. Then he said "Why does the music cut out when the baby sun
giggles?". Then I said "Ok, you win, I will write the Cog article, but I
won't like it and I'm going to make it make no sense at all." Then he said
"None of your articles ever do." Then I ran home and cried until I realized
he was write. Then I wrote the article.
1. A watermelon with a small hole drilled into it.
2. The Hindenberg, but only while it is crashing and on fire. He was near
the back.
3. The hole in a CD. He can fit a couple of em on.
4. [omitted due to its excessively cruel nature]
5. Gnarly Wayne, cause... ermm...oops.
6. A tub filled with Vasoline.
7. Blood.
8. An Emmy.
9. Some of the material which I seem to be running out of.
10. Hugo Strange. They are two "peas" in a pod.
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___________________________________________________
|THE COMINTERN IS AVAILIABLE ON THE FOLLOWING BBS'S |
|~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~|
| TWILIGHT ZONE (905) 432-7667 |
| BRING ON THE NIGHT (306) 373-4218 |
| CLUB PARADISE (306) 978-2542 |
| THE GATEWAY THROUGH TIME (306) 373-9778 |
|___________________________________________________|
| Website at: http://members.home.com/comintern |
| Email BMC at: thebmc@home.com |
|___________________________________________________|
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Copyright 2000 by The Neo-Comintern #131-12/03/00
All content is property of The Neo-Comintern.
You may redistribute this document, although no fee can be charged and the
content must not be altered or modified in any way. Unauthorized use of any
part of this document is prohibited. All rights reserved. Made in Canada.
