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The Neo-Comintern 133
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t h e n e o - c o m i n t e r n e l e c t r o n i c m a g z i n e
I n s t a l l m e n t N u m b e r 1 3 3
We Are the New International
December 17th, 2000
Editor: BMC
A Ed: Rahula
Writers:
Jeff n' Brendan
Rahula
BMC
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;P Featured in this installment .b
$ $
$ Comintern Heirarchy Update - BMC and Rahula $
$ Hey Canadian! - Jeff n' Brendan $
`q p'
`nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn'
EDITOR'S NOTE
Here is the Neo-Comintern issue that you have been waiting for. It features:
-a surprise
-a new assistant editor
-a creamy chocolate treat
-a tender article parodizing nationalist stereotypes
-a toy!
And if that's not enough for you then something is wrong.
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;P COMINTERN HEIRARCHY UPDATE .b
`q by BMC and Rahula p'
`nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn'
As usual, big things are going on at the Neo-Comintern HQ, but this time
it's REALLY big (if you know what I mean). "How big," you ask? I mean
like new assistant editor and BMC-successor big, baby!
I... mean... we... have... a... new... assistant... editor...
And you'll never guess who it is, either, cause it's my cat, Rahula, and...
oops.
It's my cat. Her name is Rahula ("Ra" or "the cat" for short).
It came as a surprise to me too, actually. One day after taking a short
break from writing I returned to the computer room to find that Rahula was
standing over the computer. At first I thought she was just sleeping on it
or walking across it or something like that, but then I looked at the screen
and realized that she was actually typing out her first masterpiece. I call
it "Gutz and Glory":
nmj gyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj
My first thought was, "Hey, I could write something better than that!" But
then I realized that I was being culturally insensitive and that in cat
language this could be something quite brilliant. In fact, I have never
heard of any famous feline authors and Rahula could actually be a pioneer
and groundbreaker in that field.
So instead of confronting her and asking difficult questions about her craft
and criticizing her for her brevity, I have decided to encourage her by
making her assistant editor and printing anything she writes no matter
whether I fnd it pleasing or not. I also think this will help to bridge the
gap and get us more cat readers. It's tough to say, so we'll just see how
it goes in the next few years/minutes/whatever. So on that note I'll say
"peace" and Rahula says "jmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ."
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;P HEY CANADIAN! .b
`q by Jeff n' Brendan (America's Favourite Sons) p'
`nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn'
Hey Canadian!
While you're getting fisted by a mountie, I'm getting my cock sucked by a
fancy American-made blowjob robot!
While you're waiting in line at the bank to get some of your multicolored
"funny money," I'm tossing pennies at the homeless from a moving Ford motor
car!
While you're swerving to avoid a moose somewhere near Saskatchewan, I'm
wrapping myself in an American flag and going over the blueprints for my
new "bitch magnet" hot tub!
While you're aboot to get drunk off of maple syrup and paint thinner, I'm
eating a Denver Omelet. Try me, motherfuckers!
Go on! Step to us! I'll plant my Russian-made American boots upside your
Canuckian skull!
Hey Canadian!
While you're listening to Donna Summer... so am I. But I'm doing it while
touching myself in America!
While you're trying to open a can of baked beans with your teeth, I'm
watching reruns of Mama's Family in the US of A!
While you're trying to have sex with a 14-year-old girl, we're also trying
to have sex with a 14-year-old girl... only she's 12.
In America, we have things like "freedom" and "hot pants" and "sunlight."
Eat it, Canada!
While you're busy watching your precious "hockey," I'm busy filming the
latest installment of my pornographic film series, "The Poontang Clan."
Michael J. Fox can eat bullets! Except for that Back to the Future shit.
That was some hot fucking shit. Remember how he had that fucking flying
Delorean? John Delorean is my motherfucker! Me and Johnny Dee do lines off
the breasts of Rae Dawn Chong! J.D. can't go to Canada! All that snow? He'd
lose his MIND! Oh, and Family Ties, too. That was hot.
Hey, Canadian! Die!
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___________________________________________________
|THE COMINTERN IS AVAILIABLE ON THE FOLLOWING BBS'S |
|~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~|
| TWILIGHT ZONE (905) 432-7667 |
| BRING ON THE NIGHT (306) 373-4218 |
| CLUB PARADISE (306) 978-2542 |
| THE GATEWAY THROUGH TIME (306) 373-9778 |
|___________________________________________________|
| Website at: http://members.home.com/comintern |
| Email BMC at: thebmc@home.com |
|___________________________________________________|
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Copyright 2000 by The Neo-Comintern #133-12/17/00
All content is property of The Neo-Comintern.
You may redistribute this document, although no fee can be charged and the
content must not be altered or modified in any way. Unauthorized use of any
part of this document is prohibited. All rights reserved. Made in Canada.
