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The Neo-Comintern 072
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t h e n e o - c o m i n t e r n e l e c t r o n i c m a g z i n e
I n s t a l l m e n t N u m b e r 7 2
.WE ARE THE 5th INTERNATIONAL
.August 3rd, 1999
.Editor: BMC
.Writers:
.Gnarly Wayne
.BMC
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";P'
Featured in this installment: `$
$
The Boss MC and DJ Gnarly Wayne Go Camping- BMC ;P
Umar and Alfonso Go Carpet Shopping- Gnarly Wayne d'
;P
d'.
.,;::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::;,"*,;
EDITOR'S NOTE
Well it looks like it's time for some more summer fun, wacky rides
and interesting articles. I believe that the articles featured this issue
are particularly insightful. They plunge deeper into human psychology than
we have done for a long time (since "Fries," in fact. See issue 5).
Anyway, here's something new and nice for you to enjoy!
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";P'
THE BOSS MC AND DJ GNARLY WAYNE GO CAMPING d'
by BMC ;P
d'.
.,;::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::;,"*,;
OK now, the most important thing to remember about this story is that
it all takes place back in the summer of '86. No, wait, the most important
part is that this was the summer that The Boss MC was going to teach Gnarly
Wayne how to get laid by some dangerously young ladies.
It was a misty spring morning, and as Boss awoke from his slumber an
enchanted and evil idea rose in his mind. This would be the weekend when
sex was obtained for both young friends and the burden of being 9 year old
virgins would finally be lifted. The plan unfolded in his mind from the
beginning to the end and there was certainly no way in which it could be
fouled up.
The idea was a camping trip. Boss MC had already gotten permission
from the two young mothers to take their daughters on the camping trip. The
girls were the pinnacle of beauty and ignorance, and their names were Plum
and Carrot. Both girls were angelic, and it was simple to understand how The
Boss could fall so deeply and crazily in love with them. Gnarly Wayne
brought the camping equipment and Boss brought the alcohol and electric eels.
"This is going to be the best weekend of our lives," said the MC.
"I concur," replied the DJ, "I am likewise anticipating a weekend of
excellently fun camping."
"And getting laid," said Boss.
"Uh-huh oh yeah I forgot. I'm so totally eager," said Wayne.
part 2
So we went and picked up the girls in Wayne's car, and I noted that
there was not enough room for Carrot and Plum in the back seat and that
Carrot should sit up front with us. Gnarly Wayne seemed to have no clue that
this was my subtle way of getting her into a position where I could feel her
up, and being the swell guy he is he got out of the car and threw a bunch of
stuff out until there was enough room back there that we could successfully
segregate the men from the women, erh, girls. Assuming that the girls would
not understand a sophisticated language like Pig Latin, I said "ayneWay,
hatWay reAay ouYay oingDay? e'reWay ryingTay oTay etGay aidLay, ememberRay?"
"Oh right I forgot we were trying to get laid," said Wayne, audible
enough that there was no way that the girls could have missed it. I looked
back nervously and saw a sly smile graze the lips of Plum. In what Wayne
later told me was an attempt to seem cool, he put Prozac's tape in the deck
and turned it up very loud and began singing all the words. I looked back
at the girls who were bug-eyed with horror, and suggested that Wayne
substitute the tape with something a little more seductive. I injected my
personal copy of "Marvin Gaye's Greatest Hits," and a smile returned to
their faces, but it was a slow process because of the great amount of shock
they had just suffered.
Needless to say the drive was a long one, and when we finally reached
the lake, the Waynestar picked out a spot and freestyled some Bzarhands
stories through the afternoon and into the evening. I spent most of thet
time eyeing up Plum as her eyes were locked on my loaded weapon. One of my
many excellent plans was to intoxicate the young beauties, and upon my
suggestion we opened a large bottle of vodka and commenced drinking games.
We played several games of truth or dare, and Gnarly Wayne kept giving stupid
dares like "eat some grass" or "roll around in the dirt". To top it all off,
he constantly chose to tell the truth about things, and this made things
incredibly boring. During this time the DJ consumed more than three quarters
of the bottle, which didn't leave enough for the rest of us, but did
intoxicate him to the point where I believed that he had completely forgotten
about the prime objective of getting laid.
It was time to set up the tents. "Hey what do you know," I said, "I
guess I only brought one two-man tent. How crowded this will be!" The girls
giggled and I found myself unable to stop smiling. "Well, actually...," said
Wizzo, "I brought another te-"
"Shut the hell up," I said to my drunken friend, "we are getting laid
tonight and you're not going to ruin it!"
Gnarly Wayne continued to unload the car. As I sat there with my
head in my hands for a moment, I heard Wayne mutter something angrily. Plum,
Carrot, and I gathered around to see what was the matter. Wayne spoke:
"When I was clearing out the back seat I tossed two of the sleeping
bags out. Now we only have two sleeping bags between the 4 of us." I smiled
to myself, because Wayne finally figured out what was going on and had
devised a most ingenious plan of his own. Well apparently I thought wrong,
because it turned out that his solution was that the girls sleep in one
sleeping bag and we sleep in the other. This was particularly disturbing
because bith Wayne and I sleep in the nude. In the meanwhile the girls were
next to us rolling aroung and giggling. Wayne got pissed off and told them
to shut up or he'd punch them. My dreams of scoring were shattered and
instead my rough reality was that the Waynestar kept touching me all night,
apparently mistaking me for Toni.
Part 3
When we woke up, I kept throwing up all over the place. I was sick
all day, but the drunkeness of the prior night made it all worthwhile. I
don't remember what happened the night before, but Carrot and Plum were
angry with me, and Boss was frightened and wouldn't come within 8 feet of me.
We drove the girls home and went to the hideout.
"So did you have fun?" asked Boss sarcastically. I said, "I think
so, at least I got drunk, didn't I?" He looked at me with anger, so I asked
him why he was so mad. Then it dawned on me. I remembered that the mission
of the weekend, and of all life in general, was to get laid or at least some
head from some young girls. Then a single tear rolled down my cheek.
"Dammit, Boss, why didn't you remind me?" I asked. Apparently he
reminded me more times than he cared to recall, and now there was nothing
I could do but sulk. We philosophized on the topic of women, and life in
general. "If only I could turn time back," I thought. What an interesting
idea.
"Hey Boss, have you ever wished that you could go back in time?"
"Well not wish, per se," he replied. For a moment I was confused and
then I realized that we were back at the lake at the beginning of our camping
trip. It was really cool, not that Boss could turn back time, but that this
time I went up in it.
Part 4
Dear diary,
This weekend we went camping with The Boss MC and DJ Gnarly Wayne.
It was pretty weird. First Gnarly Wayne got drunk and was real mean to us,
then they bar-b-qued some stuff and Gnarly Wayne can't bar-b-que worth a
damn. It was overall pretty puzzling, especially shuddering of fear that
we noticed in the other sleeping bag. Anyway, just when we thought that
things couldn't get any worse, The Boss turned time back and him and Wayne
were up in it. It was pretty good, except that Boss had no idea whatsoever
what he was doing.
Sincerely,
Plum and Carrot
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";P'
UMAR AND ALFONSO GO CARPET SHOPPING d'
by Gnarly Wayne ;P
d'.
.,;::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::;,"*,;
Umar picked up Alfonso in his 2 horse driven buggy.
"Nice buggy." said Alfonso.
"Let's just get the damn wall-to-wall carpeting", said Umar.
"Bet." said Alfonso.
At the sto, they looked at some nice plush rugs that were blue and green.....
and gold.
But there was a cat in one and Alfonso petted the cat and was happy.
Except the cat clawed him in the penis and Alfonso screamed out in pleasure.
Umar quickly jumped to the rescue and built the cat into a rain barrel.
The cat meowed.
The salesman asked if they'd like to have an installation fee as well.
"install this", said Umar and handed him the roll the carpet.
"OK", said the salesmang.
Just then, they went home and watched the carpet being installed.
THE END
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___________________________________________________
|THE COMINTERN IS AVAILIABLE ON THE FOLLOWING BBS'S |
|~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~|
| BRING ON THE NIGHT (306) 373-4218 |
| CLUB PARADISE (306) 978-2542 |
| THE GATEWAY THROUGH TIME (306) 373-9778 |
|___________________________________________________|
| Website at: http://members.home.com/comintern |
| Email BMC at: thebmc@home.com |
|___________________________________________________|
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Copyright 1999 by The Neo-Comintern #72-08/03/99
All content is property of The Neo-Comintern.
You may redistribute this document, although no fee can be charged and the
content must not be altered or modified in any way. Unauthorized use of any
part of this document is prohibited. All rights reserved. Made in Canada.
