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The Neo-Comintern 088
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t h e n e o - c o m i n t e r n e l e c t r o n i c m a g z i n e
I n s t a l l m e n t N u m b e r 8 8
WE ARE THE 5th INTERNATIONAL - LANOITANRETNI ht5 EHT ERA EW
December 12th, 1999 - 9991 ,ht21 rebmeceD
Editor: BMC - CMB :rotidE
Writers: - :sretirW
Margarina Cataclysma - amsylcataC aniragarM
BMC - CMB
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;P Featured in this installment .b
$ $
$ Do Two Wrongs Actually Make A Right? Shocking Study Says "No"- BMC $
$ Cultural Deconstruction For Beginners- Margarina Cataclysma $
`q p'
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EDITOR'S NOTE
Well it's time for finals here in Saskatoon, the city of night. The
other day I was writing one, and before the test today I said, "I need to
pass this test... but how? I KNOW! I GOTTA BELIEVE!"
The girl beside me smiled a bit. Then I chuckled too, and all of a
sudden my face became very blank... another second and it was fierce... the
girl sitting next to me got a look of fear on her face and I muttered, "I
WISH I was playing some FUCKING Parappa instead of taking this fucking test
and having to sit next to you!".... she cried. I smiled.
Wow... am I turning into Wayne?
d""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""b.
;P DO TWO WRONGS ACTUALLY MAKE A RIGHT? SHOCKING STUDY SAYS "NO" .b
`q by BMC p'
`nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn'
We have heard the evidence for both sides and we have collectively
drawn our conclusion; two wrongs don't make a right. We have all agreed on
this in recent years, but what are we basing it off of? I mean, we usually
will bother to incorporate some sort of evidence or scientific research into
our decisions, but I don't think anyone really ever tested this one out.
So I went to university, became a Bachelor of Science, and now I am going to
experiment to find out if two wrongs actually do not make a right.
Experiment one: Wrong plus Wrong
I was hungry this morning and noticed that there were only two eggs
left. As I picked one up, it stuck to the carton a bit and tippped it over.
The egg that wwas still in the carton rolled out along the marble surface
of the kitchen counter and then proceeded to fall off the edge and collide
with the floor. It broke. A single tear rolled down my cheek, and then I
remembered the grant the government had given me to conduct my scientific
experiments. "Do two wrongs make a right?" I asked myself as I watched the
other egg hit the floor as my hand lay guiltily open. I had dropped the
second egg, expecting the problems to be solved through this act. Well there
I was with no eggs to eat so I had to kill and eat some kids that were
playing in my driveway. They tasted better than eggs anyway, actually, but
the point of this story is that I determined that two wrongs did not make a
right in that particular circumstance.
Experiment two: Wrong minus Wrong
Since the experiment was over and all tha data had been collected,
we decided that we wanted another year's worth of funding so we made up a
second experiment to do. I was going out to do some more field work. It
was in the hills of Cambodia and I was meeting a sage named Cthulu Jones.
He took me into his medicine igloo and made me smoke from several pipes that
had funny and unique smokes that came from them. They were delicious, and
in the sudden delerium I murdered the sage with a trident that I had
concealed on my person. I looked into the eyes of my old friend and
realized that he was dying. This was a wrong if a wrong there ever was.
All he could say was "why?" It was pretty crappy, dude. Anyway, I decided
that the best thing to do would be to minus the wrong. Since I figured the
wrong was stabbing him, the only way to make it right would be to pull the
trident back out! But I forgot that the prongs were heavily barbed. Sorry,
Cthulu Jones.
Experiment three: Wrong times Wrong
I had just recieved the third yearly public funding cheque, so I
decided to go to a bar and buy a round of drinks for the house. On the way
to go ring the bell at the bar, I bumped into one of the guys that I had just
bought a drink for. He spilled the drink I bought on me, and this made him
mad. He was a pretty big guy, and I fell backwards when he hit me. I
figured that this was a wrong, so I went out to my car and grabbed a pool
ball. When the guy came out of the bar I hit him about twenty times more
than he hit me and I was hitting him about twice as hard cause I had just
taken a hit of PCP. I beat the him till he was almost dead, and even though
it was fun it did not get rid of the black eye he gave me earlier in the
night. Wrong times wrong had been a failure as well.
Experiment four: Wrong divided by Wrong
After the government cut off my funding I had to start robbing
people. One time I took a wallet from an old lady in an alley in the
projects. The cops caught up with me and busted me. This was wrong. I
decided to attempt to divide the wrong by offering the officer half of the
money within the wallet, but when he realized that there was an hundred
dollars in it he beat me up, broke my fingers, and took all of the money,
just leaving me there with an empty wallet. So all that dividing the wallet
did was get my ass kicked.
Experiment five: TBA
I am currently living on the streets and have no labratory in which
to conduct my experiments. I will continue research when the government
gives me another grant, which should be within the next few years.
UPDATE:
On January 24th, 2003, BMC conducted his final test. He was found
under a steam vent with ten million dollars in his hand. The money was
earned through a combination of plagarism and selling out. He died because
he became a capitalist. Let this serve as a lesson to all that equality is
the only way! Peace, komrades!
d""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""b.
;P CULTURAL DECONSTRUCTION FOR BEGINNERS .b
`q by Margarina Cataclysma p'
`nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn'
First, be skeptical. Then, immerse yourself. Lose your phonebook.
Lie. Misdirect people. Adopt a foriegn culture to replace the one you're
deconstructing. Adopt an alternative persona. Love ravers. Love rockers.
Love your mama. Eat apples. Borrow. Keep a clock set to a differend time
zone, pretend you're there.
Brag. Pursue an illogical goal. Pursue an illegal goal. Advise
someone to pursue you. Wear your sunglasses till someone tells you that you
look like Liz Taylor, then give them away.
Pedal madly wherever you go. Make as much noise as the traffic
around you. Remember that you were there first.
Burn something. Pardon something. Adopt an attitude of no
tolerance. Pretend to know the whereabouts of the North Star.
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___________________________________________________
|THE COMINTERN IS AVAILIABLE ON THE FOLLOWING BBS'S |
|~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~|
| BRING ON THE NIGHT (306) 373-4218 |
| CLUB PARADISE (306) 978-2542 |
| THE GATEWAY THROUGH TIME (306) 373-9778 |
|___________________________________________________|
| Website at: http://members.home.com/comintern |
| Email BMC at: thebmc@home.com |
|___________________________________________________|
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Copyright 1999 by The Neo-Comintern #88-12/12/99
All content is property of The Neo-Comintern.
You may redistribute this document, although no fee can be charged and the
content must not be altered or modified in any way. Unauthorized use of any
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