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The Neo-Comintern 073
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t h e n e o - c o m i n t e r n e l e c t r o n i c m a g z i n e
I n s t a l l m e n t N u m b e r 7 3
.WE ARE THE 5th INTERNATIONAL
.August 13th, 1999
.Editor: BMC
.Writers:
.Gnarly Wayne
.BMC
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";P'
Featured in this installment: `$
$
Voyage From Atlantis c.i- BMC ;P
Masturbating on Masterball- Gnarly Wayne d'
;P
d'.
.,;::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::;,"*,;
EDITOR'S NOTE
hey, I'm a bit fucking drunk right now, so for give me in advanne
for embarassing myself, ny friends, and my family. Anyway, since I recieved
so many fan letters over my first "Voyage To Atlantis" series (ZERO), I
thunk it would be a good idea to do a second series. I got about ten
installments into it and realized it was a terrible idea. Then I said FUCK
IT, this is solid gold. Then I looked around and realized that nobody was
laughing at me, so it seemed safe to put this in here. I was thinking about
putting it in sometime special like issue 50 or something, but I didn't want
to wait that long so FUCK IT. Here it is. Oh and here is also a very
special dedication article from Gnarly Wayne to Cog. I don't get it, but
apparently it is some strange form of compliment a la Gnarly Wayne? hi.
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";P'
VOYAGE FROM ATLANTIS (chapter i) d'
by BMC ;P
d'.
.,;::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::;,"*,;
After the coronation of my father, King Namor, the underwater city
of Atlantis became drunk with the soft, flowing sounds of Christopher Cross.
As the finest of all musicians performed for the peons and princes, my father
summoned me into his mighty chamber.
"My most beloved son," he spake to me, "this may be an innapropriate
time for a discussion such as this, but I must inform you immediately of my
first order of government."
I half-listened as he spoke, being young and eager to hear the
universal truths sung by Christopher Cross in his barrier breaking songs of
peace, tranquility, and hot sex with servantile young women. My father
continued to speak. "I have been warned of an impending attack from the
jealous land-dwellers of Cavercus, who will be lead to the city walls by
their evil patriarch, Proteus."
He stopped and looked around a bit. "BMC, I need you to venture
forth into the overworld and destroy the evil Cavercussians."
With this, our conversation was over. Determined to bring all
enemies of the state to justice, I stumbled to the pearly city gates, where
I discovered Komrade B laying unconscious under a pile of garbage. "Wake up,
brother," I said, "we must destroy an intelligent and innocent
civilization." With this The Komrade was up and ready to destroy. I had to
restrain him as he began flailing wildly. I sedated him with a handful of
Prozac, and prepared to venture forth into a world of gore and glory.
As I opened the gates, our grandfather Poseidon approached us and
offered us the use of his sub-water boat to speed up our journey and protect
us from imploding in the extreme pressure of the deep sea. I thought that
was a nice gesture. And with that, we scuffled into the boat and sailed
toward our foes.
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";P'
MASTURBATING ON MASTERBALL d'
by Gnarly Wayne ;P
d'.
.,;::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::;,"*,;
Fucking MASTERBALL!
What the hell is this "thing" suppose to be? even if it is a
"thing?" Is it an idea or "ideal" or ... what the fuck is it?
All I know is that I hate it. I hate it more than Triangle Man hates
Particle Man and Person Man put together.
I have no idea what it or who it is, but I would run over it if given
the chance, or failing to have a car at the time, kick and stomp it until
it looked like it had been run over.
It apparently has some super powers, yet I have not heard about it on
the moving picture news or in the "newspaper". Seems like that would be
newsworthy. Oh wait! Maybe nobody reported on it because it fucking blows
and fucking sucks!
If MASTERBALL! comes out with a cereal, that's it. I'm killing Dr.
Yon Gabriel.
You cannot possibly understand my rage after reading the MASTERBALL!
article. I was only calmed by going on the shopping spree.
If I had any gladitor monkeys left, I would send them in search of
MASTERBALL! and they would rend and tear him and bring me the pieces.
Which I would yell at.
So, in closing, fuck MASTERBALL!
THE END
Try my hand lotion!
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___________________________________________________
|THE COMINTERN IS AVAILIABLE ON THE FOLLOWING BBS'S |
|~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~|
| BRING ON THE NIGHT (306) 373-4218 |
| CLUB PARADISE (306) 978-2542 |
| THE GATEWAY THROUGH TIME (306) 373-9778 |
|___________________________________________________|
| Website at: http://members.home.com/comintern |
| Email BMC at: thebmc@home.com |
|___________________________________________________|
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Copyright 1999 by The Neo-Comintern #73-08/13/99
All content is property of The Neo-Comintern.
You may redistribute this document, although no fee can be charged and the
content must not be altered or modified in any way. Unauthorized use of any
part of this document is prohibited. All rights reserved. Made in Canada.
