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The Neo-Comintern 063
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t h e n e o - c o m i n t e r n e l e c t r o n i c m a g z i n e
I n s t a l l m e n t N u m b e r 6 3
.WE ARE THE 5th INTERNATIONAL
.May 14th, 1999
.Editor: BMC
.Writers:
.Gnarly Wayne
.Komrade B
.BMC
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";P'
Featured in this installment: `$
$
The Miracle Of Making Stuff Up: The Sharks- Gnarly Wayne $
Xandorian Rites Of Passage- BMC ;P
Rexxogans 4Ever- Komrade B d'
;P
d'.
.,;::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::;,"*,;
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";P'
THE MIRACLE OF MAKING STUFF UP: THE SHARKS d'
by Gnarly Wayne ;P
d'.
.,;::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::;,"*,;
The Shark pirate clan are not the Sharks you may be thinking of.
They are actually humans that wear the little shark fin on the top of their
head. Oh yeah, and they have three rows of teeth. The only real shark in
their ranks is the leader of the Sharks, the Big Slammu. He is a shark/human
mutant hybrid who is jawesome and always kicks fin, except he never replies
to email sent by adoring fans, even though the fan may have poured his little
soul and heart into the email, and the Big Slammu doesn't even the decency to
reply to me! Errr... <cough>. Anyway, the Sharks are not a large pirate
clan, but what they lack in numbers they make up for in effort. Like most
pirates, once a baron has 50,000 units of troops, jets, and tanks, the
pirates will always lose a battle as they simply cannot afford to keep up to
this kind of firepower. However, regardless of defense, the Sharks always
manage to sneak in and steal 30,000 turrets or so without anybody knowing.
How is it possible to steal 30,000 structures built solid into the ground and
get them away without anyone seeing? Up until now, one could only speculate
on how each of the pirate clans does this. But, through the miracle of
making stuff up, we of the Neo-Comintern have discovered the amazing truths
behind how each clan specially captures various assets. The Sharks have a
amazingly simple, yet devious plan. A group of Sharks come up through the
sea, exposing their fins as they come towards the shore. Any military
personel flee in terror at the prospect that land-sharks may be attacking.
Once evacuated, the Sharks show their true colors and proceed to steal arms
and take them back to the murky depths of the ocean. For the harder-to-steal
turrets, the Big Slammu himself comes and uses his giant strength to tear the
turret from its foundation and hurls it into the sea, where it taken by a
group of Sharks to their home base (which is not Atlantis).
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";P'
THE XANDORIAN RITES OF PASSAGE d'
by BMC ;P
d'.
.,;::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::;,"*,;
The Xandorians are a peace loving race, perhaps even moreso than any
other of the elite pirate strike forces. They have been known in the barren
realms as an exceedingly kind bunch, highly skilled in the art of treachery,
leachery, and fine lovemaking. When choosing to attack the pirate group,
most countries send a substandard fleet of armies, because the Xandorians
are generally more concerned with poetry and the improvement of latex to fend
off an attack of any more than one troop.
Aside from being the fairest of lovers, the Xandorians are nearly
impossible to see, being of the darkest of blues against the blackest of all
blacks. We assume that they look similar to Peterson or some other extremely
handsome creature. Much different from the famous pirates that once sailed
the high seas, who delighted in rum, chanties and the Jolly Roger, these
pirates preferred champagne, ballads, and a white flag with the image of a
rose on it.
You may also be familiar with the hazing rituals of the Canadian
navy. Well, there is a similar tradition in the Xandorian hoarde, but it is
a rite of passage that is reserved for the 17 year olds of the tribe. On
the day of the seventeenth birthday, a young girl will be invited onto that
famous Xandorian ship where all rituals are performed. I believe that the
title is the H.M.B.R.E.S. Chastity, but I could be mistaken, and perhaps even
deceitful in my explanation.
To Be Continued
Xandorian Rites Of Passages Part II
By BMC
A few years ago, I was lucky enough to have a first hand observation
of one such "rites of passage" ceremony. The sixteen year old girl was lead
onboard, and for the twenty-four hours before her seventeenth birthday she
was lead through mental and physical preparation, including meditation and
yoga. At the strike of midnight, she was lead into the hull of the ship
where the entire crew was waiting. They took turns taking her virginity,
and as special guest I was informed that I must also take my turn. I was
impressed by their hospitality, and I accepted out of politeness and respect
for Xandorian custom. Then there was dancing, dining, and plenty drinking.
It was one of the most beautiful experiences I had ever experienced.
Then I was offered to be made an honourary Xandorian, a title which I gladly
accepted. Then I found out that Xandorian men had to go through the exact
same ritual, and I was repeatedly sodomized for the next 36 hours.
The End
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";P'
REXXOGANS 4EVER d'
by Komrade B ;P
d'.
.,;::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::;,"*,;
Through the mists of time, through the super desert, and the vast
river valleys of of the sevannah, a stark kingdom clung to a lonely mount.
The Rex king Imperious Rex oversaw his horde amassing at the foot of the
rocky crag. They were armed with combat rifles, picks, and shovels. They
were perfectly equiped for the plan Rex had for his peoples.
To further his nations goals, his troops drew up a plan. Sneak over
the border at night fall. Find, dig up, and carry 234567 turrets back to the
secret base. The target was the merchant kingdom of the Communist Global
Empire, an empire whose military might was weak, but boasted a large retinue
of poets, and soothsayers. Surely such an empire of artisans and dreamers
would hardly miss several thousand turrets! Rex was betting his nation
they wouldn't..........
As they approached the border of the barony fear crept into the
hearts of the kings men. There was a border patrol not far away. Easy to
handle but the danger of an alarm sounding was too great.
Alas the patrol was drunken and more interested in finding faeries
and nymphs then a fully armed enemy patrol. As they sauntered by, the
Rexxogans crept into enemy territory.
The turrents were easily found, scattered across the country side.
Unguarded the soldiers quietly went about their business of digging up the
monstrous structures. Hours went by until the alotted amount had been dug up
and the journey home was to begin. Of course Rex wasn't a realist as much as
he was a great strategist. With only 14000 men to carry the 200000+ turrents
the task was impossible....
Within half an hour the troops arrived at home each carrying 14
turrets each. There was no time to dig in the turrents to repel the horde
the communists would be sending. The communists turn had arrived and the BMC
had sent a large detachment to deal with the Rexxogans pirates. Of course
Imperious Rex craved battle for he was born to the sword, and a great battle
ensued. The Rexxogans, badly outnumbered and exhausted from the previous
turn of digging up and carrying turrents, fought hard and died as only
Rexxogans could. In end they lost horribly and the evil BMC got back all his
turrets, and some jets, tanks and 3k gold. Such was the life of the Rexxogan
dream. Battle was the only life they knew and war was their only bride,
unfortunately death and defeat was their only friend. Pity these little
Rexxogans...Rexxogans....Rexxogans 4evr.
Thank You.
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___________________________________________________
|THE COMINTERN IS AVAILIABLE ON THE FOLLOWING BBS'S |
|~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~|
| BRING ON THE NIGHT (306) 373-4218 |
| CLUB PARADISE (306) 978-2542 |
| THE GATEWAY THROUGH TIME (306) 373-9778 |
|___________________________________________________|
| Website at: http://members.home.com/comintern |
| Email BMC at: thebmc@home.com |
|___________________________________________________|
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Copyright 1999 by The Neo-Comintern #63-5/14/99
All content is property of The Neo-Comintern.
You may redistribute this document, although no fee can be charged and the
content must not be altered or modified in any way. Unauthorized use of any
part of this document is prohibited. All rights reserved. Made in Canada.
