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The Neo-Comintern 065
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t h e n e o - c o m i n t e r n e l e c t r o n i c m a g z i n e
I n s t a l l m e n t N u m b e r 6 5
.WE ARE THE 5th INTERNATIONAL
.May 30th, 1999
.Editor: BMC
.Writers:
.Gnarly Wayne
.Komrade B
.BMC
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";P'
Featured in this installment: `$
$
Do Not Resist...- BMC $
Why BRE Is Better Than Sex- Gnarly Wayne $
Why Sex Is Better Than BRE- BMC ;P
Bordello Dayz- Komrade B d'
;P
d'.
.,;::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::;,"*,;
EDITOR'S NOTE
Why not take a trip into the world of the BBS board game where the
beautiful ANSi graphics make your head spin and the dizzying whirlwind of
ASCii action makes you literally vomit with delight. Enter the world of the
door game where you will be visited by three spirits by the names of BMC,
Gnarly Wayne, and Komrade B, who will lead you through the upside down and
often backwards worlds of The Pit, BRE, Bordello, and Studs. Enjoy this trip
as it may be your last, and cling with terror to the rail as your mind is
manipulated to and fro through the Comintern mines.
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";P'
DO NOT RESIST... d'
by BMC ;P
d'.
.,;::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::;,"*,;
Many people wonder what The Pit is, but not me. I know that The Pit
is perhaps the finest ANSi (note the elite spelling) game ever made. From
your origin as a young sailor from the hills of Mongol, you rise to become
a warrior and strategist, slaying scores of foes along the way. If you've
ever wondered what happens when two omega characters duck it out on a field
of dots, this is the first and last game you will ever need.
From the slaves who ask "Are you sure you wish to fight?" to the
overblord, Phelonious, who begs, "Do not resist.....", there is fight and
fury awaiting in every arena battle. It is a harrowing experience, and some
don't even have the balls to pass the first level (ie someone who writes for
The Comintern) For the benefit of these people, i have included a list of
Pit Tips that I found on Ming Men 2400 baud BBS. I have tried these, and
they all have worked for me.
Some cool things to try in this game:
-Drink 12 Devils Brews in the tavern and you will be given the Sword
of Odin.
-Fight an elemental in the first match and you will be given an extra
level for bravery.
-Go to the weapon shop and sell your weapon when you have no weapon.
It's really cool, and you can get about 250 gold for basically
selling nothing.
-Use the jeweled necklace and drink the dark grey potion at the same
time. (this makes you invulnerable)
-Don't try fighting Norse Gods until you're on level 3.
-Do not resist!
-Do not drink at the tavern right at the start until u pass out and
get robbed and have people throw nickels at the back of your head.
The End (ps call anti conspiracy i swaer it's good 3o6-6s2-!o2g)
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";P'
WHY BRE IS BETTER THAN SEX d'
by Gnarly Wayne ;P
d'.
.,;::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::;,"*,;
1. In BRE, you get to build a headquarters.
In sex, you do not get to build a headquarters.
2. In BRE, you have four advisors to advise you.
In sex, only two.
3. In order to play BRE, you must "log-on" with your "modem" and "transfer"
"data" through your "ports".
In sex, you just put dick into the cunt.
4. Sex only lasts seconds.
BRE lasts for minutes.
5. In BRE, you can work with another person to acheive mutualy beneficial
collective goals.
In sex, you would rather not.
6. In BRE, you are the ruler of millions and millions of people.
In sex, you are the ruler of no people (possibly one).
7. In BRE, you can form an alliance that lasts for years.
In sex, the alliance only lasts for seconds (maybe a minute).
8. In BRE, you can use chemical and biological warfare.
In sex, chemical and biological warfare is not often used.
9. You can't masturbate while having sex.
10. In BRE, there is an option called Gooie Kablooie.
In sex, there is an option called Gooie Kablooie.
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";P'
WHY SEX IS BETTER THAN BRE d'
by BMC ;P
d'.
.,;::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::;,"*,;
This is just a joke title. There are no ways that sex is better than
BRE. The End.
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";P'
BORDELLO DAYZ d'
by Komrade B ;P
d'.
.,;::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::;,"*,;
Well as the anchor of the issue its time to talk of a couple of the
more popular door games: Bordello and Studs. I remember my first exposure
to Studs. The BMC was playing, and when his turn was up it showed the
rankings and he was number 2 (In score). From therein my interest in the
game grew. I cried when Ron was beaten up, and cheered when his 10000
dollar penis enlargement was a complete success.
The game quickly becoming a facet in our lives. As our man serviced
his thousandth customer, it was as if we were servicing those women. It was
as if we were contracting those VD's. In fact, BMC was so in sync with the
game that he actually contracted genital herpes. (Which later was confirmed
by the medical community as a stigmata)
Another classy game of the time was Bordello. Most of what I know of
women I learnt from this game. In a quest to have several "10" rated girls
to bring in hordes of money, I would often find myself beating up pimps and
smacking up bitches. Alas, spending three years in jail taught me a valuable
lesson when trying to implement the world of Bordello into the real world,
but I was sure to find the designer of the game and Kill him.
THank You
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___________________________________________________
|THE COMINTERN IS AVAILIABLE ON THE FOLLOWING BBS'S |
|~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~|
| BRING ON THE NIGHT (306) 373-4218 |
| CLUB PARADISE (306) 978-2542 |
| THE GATEWAY THROUGH TIME (306) 373-9778 |
|___________________________________________________|
| Website at: http://members.home.com/comintern |
| Email BMC at: thebmc@home.com |
|___________________________________________________|
odO$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.$Obo.odO$|$Obo.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$.odO$Obo
Copyright 1999 by The Neo-Comintern #65-05/30/99
All content is property of The Neo-Comintern.
You may redistribute this document, although no fee can be charged and the
content must not be altered or modified in any way. Unauthorized use of any
part of this document is prohibited. All rights reserved. Made in Canada.
MAXIMUS v2.01 You approach a large, old, brick structure of a building... You
know what there is inside, being one of the lucky ones... You glance at your
electronic passkey as you stick it into the slot. A screen appears below:
WELCOME TO... *
/ \
| |
=================== / T \
The GATEWAY /////// | I |
---------->THROUGH | M |
=================== | E |
/_____\
/ \
//////\\\\\
SysOp: NIGHTSTALKER
OPERATING 24hours a DAY, 7 Days a week.
2400/9600/14400 BPS
NEW USERS: Please enter your real name first, and your Alias
will be asked later during the Log-On sequence.
What is your name: the boss mc
The Boss Mc [Y,n]?
Password: ...........
OH CANADA
ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ
ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ
ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ
ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ
ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ
ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ
ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ
ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ
ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ
ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÞÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ
ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÞÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ
ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ
The Gateway Through Time
THE TRUE: PROUD CANADIAN BBS...
CELEBRATING 126years AS A NATION
Press <ENTER> to move on!
Walking in, you take a quick glance around and head to the front
desk. The receptionist hands you your punchcard which you stab fiercely into
the time clock. A loud `DING' sounds, you remove your card and glance at
your stats before handing it back:
Thank you for using The Gateway Through Time, The.
You are the 26583rd traveller, and this is your 187th voyage.
You have sold (UL) 736K. You have bought (DL) 6045K. (UL:DL=1:8.)
You wander down the halls, looking at all the interesting paintings
and artifacts installed to brighten up the place. On your way to your TIME
POD, you notice a Cork Bulletin Board which you take a look at:
Press <ENTER> to move on!
