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The Neo-Comintern 046
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t h e n e o - c o m i n t e r n i n s t a l l m e n t 4 6
WE ARE THE 5th INTERNATIONAL
December 27th, 1998
editor: BMC
writers:
Gnarly Wayne
Street Fighter
BMC
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.
featured in this installment: .
A Typical Day In Hell- Gnarly Wayne .
Life And Death: The True Story Of Animal: Street Fighter .
Chris Otsig, The Animal- BMC .
:
. . . . . . .. ...................................;
AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR
And we venture forth into the 9o's (more specifically, the '99). So,
paix be upon you and joyeux noel to the country of France. We're also
working on our New Year's Resoultions, so maybe we'll reveal them in a future
installment. I guess that's all there is to say for now, so as snuop doggie
ddog says, "Happy Hizaunakah!"
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.
A TYPICAL DAY IN HELL .
By Gnarly Wayne .
:
. . . . . . .. ...................................;
6:00am - Awakened by bucket of magma poured on skull.
6:01am - Scrap hardening magma from skull while screaming.
6:05am - Shower consisting of shards of broken glass and old toe nail
clippings.
6:15am - Breakfast consisting of nothing.
6:30am - Worship Satan for a spell.
6:45am - Head to work in frankfurter car (uncooked).
10:00am - Arrive at work in the mines.
10:05am - Put on work clothes (cement boots, steel-wool underwear, spandex
pants, and iron bucket helmet with eye holes punched out).
10:15am - Mined rocks.
1:15pm - Thirty second lunch break. Today's menu: nothing.
1:15.30pm - Daily motivational torture. Today's torture: Multiple kidney
punches.
2:00pm - Mine more rocks. Occasionally lucky enough to find a large rock.
5:00pm - Frog call signals end of days work.
5:05pm - Pick up paycheck. Total pay: $187.00.
5:05.01pm - Die again.
5:10pm - Try to cash cheque, forgetting no banks exist in hell.
5:15pm - Head home.
10:00pm - Arrive home and eat supper consisting of cabbage rolls, brimstone,
and lava gravy.
10:30pm - Finally stop writhing about after burning out innards. Watch TV.
11:00pm - Only thing on is Super Harlem Globetrotters, so listen to music.
12:00pm - All tapes are Yella: This 1's fa tha E, and all tracks are
acapella, so do daily breakdown and cry routine.
4:00pm - Commit suicide.
4:01pm - Wake up in hell.
4:02pm - Cry again.
5:59pm - Go to sleep on bed of nails, glass, magma, and snapping turtles.
Authors note: An alternate title could also be A Typical Day in the life of
a Capitialist.
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.
LIFE AND DEATH: THE TRUE STORY OF ANIMAL .
By Street Fighter .
:
. . . . . . .. ...................................;
Animal as defined by the Neo-Comintern dictionary:
A hideous abomination, created through the UnHolY alliance of 60's
acid, shitty weed (200% weaker compared to today's high quality), morphine
and cough medicine (yay for the good times the good ol' boys in Nam had on
this one).
This spawn was conceived by 16 and 18 year old substance abusers who
were steeped in twisted, arcane rites of pagan worship. This heinous act
created ANIMAL a.k.a MANIMAL!!!!!! This would-be anti-Christ figure can
create anything from his vast repertoire of surplus antique equipment; from
breaking into the most high tech facilities in North America to disproving
that a government exists.
In all actuality HE can do all. Even the Prince of Darkness cannot
hold a candle (a Hell candle of course made from the flesh of Monster Labour
Camp guests) to him. The atrocities perpetuated and endorsed by this being
of Original Sin put the Nazi's to shame. The Holocaust is Sunday brunch to
Animal.
How should mankind view this man\creature\Beast\devil\abomination\etc
etc etc? With only the understanding a grub has in the fingers of a gorilla.
No amount of logic, truth and beatings can change his UnHoLY opinions. Only
his Laws of Physics could make a car run on urine, only he can one up the
Son of God by dying and rising twice. Hell, twice in one night. So wake up!
The time of Revelations and Apocalypse are upon us. No, not in the form of
year 2000 but in the misbegotten life-span of ANIMAL!!!!
AAHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. NONONONONNONNO NON NO NO NO IN TYPING
THIS DEFINITION I HAVE OPENED MY MIND TO HIS PRESENCE I AM NOW HIS TOY
TO DO WITH AS HE PLEASES. no no PLEASE ANIMAL DO NOT INTRODUCE ME TO
YOUR FRIENDS NO NO NO AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
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.
CHRIS OTSIG, THE ANIMAL .
By BMC .
:
. . . . . . .. ...................................;
Some said that the Animal would never last, and although he has'nt
been spotted by the authorities in recent years, he still lurks in the seedy
underbelly of the city of night. A local legend, Animal has been known to
defy the laws of thermodynamics and reason.
The life of Animal is by no means normal. From his abitity to drink
thirty beers without getting drunk to proving that he can sustain life by
eating nothing but his own excrement, Animal has amazed the science
community from dae 1, and is otherwise known as "The Modern Dae Copernicus."
Of course, all of his feats are fabrications of his poor, twisted
mind. Animal's co existance with the human race is equal to a man living
among gods. Animal, however, would consider himself a god among men. Maybe
he's closer to feces among celetial bodies.
Animal's humble beginning was as a grade 9 hacker elite. Everybody
in my school was familiar with his hacking/phreaking "skills," although he
could never offer proof that he could operate a computer or even a telephone.
One of his exploits involves hacking into the bank computer, then
asking me if he could borrow five dollars. Of course I said no. He claimed
to be leader of a large Saskatoon gang. He claimed to have built a satellite
dish out of cardboard and tin foil. It got ALL of the satellite stations,
especially the top secret government transmissions. Perfect reception, too!
In closing, if you ever see this human dartboard (AKA genetic
experiment failure #187) don't ask him to drive over the median.
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___________________________________________________
|THE COMINTERN IS AVAILIABLE ON THE FOLLOWING BBS'S |
|~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~|
| BRING ON THE NIGHT (306) 373-4218 |
| CLUB PARADISE (306) 978-2542 |
| THE GATEWAY THROUGH TIME (306) 373-9778 |
|___________________________________________________|
| Website http://www.sfn.saskatoon.sk.ca/~ad357 |
| Email BMC at manta1@hotmail.com |
|___________________________________________________|
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#46-12/27/98
Copyright 1998 N-Com
All content is property of The Neo-Comintern.
Unauthorized use of any part of document is prohibited. All Rights Reserved.
