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The Neo-Comintern 027
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t h e n e o - c o m i n t e r n i n s t a l l m e n t 2 7
WE ARE THE 5th INTERNATIONAL
July 26th, 1998
editor: BMC
writers:
Komrade B
BMC
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.
featured in this installment: .
Sea Monstars- Komrade B .
Bases and Balls- BMC .
:
. . . . . . .. ...................................;
EDITOR'S NOTE
Whatever you are looking for; you have found it.
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.
SEA MONSTARS .
(not to be confused with sea monsters) .
by Komrade B .
:
. . . . . . .. ...................................;
Sea Monstars freely roam the seas, oceans, some rivers, and a couple
of fresh water lakes in the far north. What, you haven't heard of Monstars?
Well, that doesn't surprise me, cuz the government has been keeping these
guys hidden for years now. I have seen them, but I've never seen a dinosaur,
so those don't exist. Nor have I seen a giant turtle, so they most don't
exist either. Robots and plastercine models are all that exist of these
fictional characters.
When the revolution comes (and it will), Sea Monstars will take their
rightful place in our Government as pets of high ranking officials, and they
will also control medicare by eating anyone who is sick or moderately
injured.
Last fall, when I was at the Sea Monstar capital of Cavercus, talking
with King Namor (he is a king now), we discussed the role of Monstars in
global affairs. Ol' Namor suggested that Monstars should be more active in
Global Trade, or should I say the halting of Global Trade. (Did you know
that last year the United States alone lost over 250 billion dollars due to
Sea Monstar attacks on trade vessels and this was only 36% of total loses)
Namor hopes to increase attacks on trade vessels by over 75% with the help of
Carribean and Japanese Pirates, and of dimensional Monsters.
Also during that enlightening, cool, breezy fall night below tha
lappy, foamy, waters in the capital, I learned that Monstars are ruled by a
dictatorship under a Communist regime. They also have alliance with the MoON
MonSTars, and the evil race of space mutants. Oh how I wish I could achieve
things so that we humans might have contacts with these strange creatures.
Russia, under the Bolshevik banner signed tha first peace treaty
mankind ever established with the Sea Monstars, and as such they received the
rudiments of what we later called Space flight (a.k.a. Sputnik).
So next time you litter or put your waste and filth in the choppy
blue waters of our beautiful earth, just remember something in the water is
watching, and they can't wait to get their hands on you. It will be at a
place I can't mention, where you will be sent when we are in power. PEACE!
Thank you.
EDITOR'S NOTE- Hey, what was that place that you can't mention?
UH a place that most but myself would not consider a PARADISE.
the end
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.
BASES AND BALLS .
by BMC :
. . . . . . .. ...................................;
Ok, so people always use baseball references in everyday situations.
For example, you might hear someone say "Man Oh Man, I scored last weekend",
or they might call a difficult question or situation a "curve".
I'd just like to say at this point that this article was already
written out, but there was a split second blackout or some thing, and almost
an entire article was wiped out. If you want to help, send $20 to
Manta1@hotmail.com.
OK, now that that is out of my system, let me continue. I hate
people who use these baseball references. Sometimes you might hear of a
person perusing the neighbourhood as going for a "walk" then perhaps
returning "home". I should also mention that Italian gangsters always have
a "home base", usually a restaurant where no customers are allowed in, just
mobsters. Classic shows like "New Jack City" and "Wise Guys" prove this
theory to be fact indeed.
When I was younger, it seems that I heard these phrases all the time,
like "Hawkeye", "Hit the ball", "Hustle", "Stealing Second", "Pop Fly", etc.
I heard this kinda stuff every day in Massey, but I was also a member of the
Massey Place.....hmm, come to think of it, I don't think our team had a name,
but if we did it would have been the Massey Place Communists, or something
like that. Anyway, I think I was going somewhere with that part of the
story, but now I'm just too shaken up to continue with this paragraph.
So, the usa are supposedly big baseball fans, and this is probably
how all these stupid phrases become popular. So, I say let's make up a bunch
of hockey phrases that are cool. Sometimes you will hear people replace the
word "aspiration" with "goal". You see, the idea of hockey allusions in
common vernacular is not a new one. One reason phrases like "oh boy, the
cops busted my hydroponics operation and now I'm in the penalty box for 5
minutes", are not common (yet) is because of the problem between the
Anglophone and Francophone cultures. Not only do the french speak a
different language from us, they also are strange people, and if you need
proof, just look at gerard depardieu. These problems will be solved when
Quebec is turned into the secondary MLC headquarters. All of the hockey
players will be banished to the CAMPS (with the exception of Randy Carlyle,
the greatest hockey player of all time, and also a great humanitarian), so
the phrases of hockey will be forced into the general vocabularies of many.
So some day, you may overhear someone say "hey, I scored last
weekend". But now you'll know they are referring to hockey instead of
baseball. You'll probably hear difficult events referred to as "Slap Shots",
and you will probably commonly hear the phrase "hey man I was like in the
3rd period last weekend and I like body checked this girl man like into the
boards and stuff, and then I went into the box for roughing man, and then
like five minutes later I was out of there and then I dropped my gloves and
stuff and then Don Cherry like commented about it and stuff man, and it was
cool, and Ron MacLean said it was cool and stuff and then Don Cherry said
shut up to Ron MacLean and then I was cool I think. Know what I mean?"
So you can take this with a grain of salt if you like, but I'd advise
against it, because I can fully guarantee that this system will be fully
activated by July 2nd, 2027. By Proteus, it will! And next time some
fascist yankee bastard yips some stupid baseball cliche at an audible level
overheard by you or one of The Komrades, break a Louisville Slugger over
the back of his rubicand neck and tell him, "Just Tah Let U Know, da Bo$$
eMCee sayz This 1'z Fa You!" And e-mail me, and I will send you 20 dollars.
* W * O * R * D *
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___________________________________________________
|THE COMINTERN IS AVAILIABLE ON THE FOLLOWING BBS'S |
|~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~|
| BRING ON THE NIGHT (306) 373-4218 |
| CLUB PARADISE (306) 978-2542 |
| THE GATEWAY THROUGH TIME (306) 373-9778 |
|___________________________________________________|
|Website http://www.sfn.saskatoon.sk.ca/~ad357 |
|Email The BoSS MC at manta1@hotmail.com |
|___________________________________________________|
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#27-07/26/98
Copyright 1998 N-Com
All content is property of The Neo-Comintern.
Unauthorized use of any part of document is prohibited. All Rights Reserved.
