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The Neo-Comintern 017
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E-MAG
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The Neo-Comintern Installment 17
We are The 5th International
May 5th, 1998
Editor: BMC
Writers:
Neologia
BMC
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Featured in this installment:
Through My Eyes- Neologia
Truth Is Stranger Than Fiction (my hangover)- BMC
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THROUGH MY EYES
By Neologia
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I just thought I'd inform you that both of Neil Young's children have
Downe Syndrome. No shit, true story. And, if you'd like to meet them, you
have my permission. Just tell them that Mr. Nash sent you (he's real good
with the Community Living). I also noticed that bottom eyelids (not anyone's
in particular) don't get enough credit. Sure, the top eyelids get all
dressed up with makeup and sparkles, but the bottom eyelids are the real
wind beneath the eyes' wings. No one pays any attention to them, but if they
weren't there your eyes would fall right out of the sky. It's amazing! If
you don't believe me, take a knife and cut them off, and see what happens.
I would ask you to write back to us to tell all of our faithful
readers what happened, BUT....
...you'd have no eyes. Therefore it would be pointless, because you
wouldn't be able to visit our website, or see us all laughing at you for
being such a Community Living. Hey, I know some people you could hang out
with, and take your useless eyeballs with you. I've heard that Mr. Nash
thinks they're quite a delicacy. He'll really appreciate it. (so serious!)
I would now also like to ask of you to please write to me if you, or
someone you should or shall know, has eye lashes covering the entire eyelid.
I need to know immediately for these eyelids, along with thier carrier, are
in grave danger, and only I can cure these poor eyelids of their strange
condition. I have come to the conclusion that maybe, just maybe, if I could
cut the hairs... they'd be gone! Now this is only in theory, so I'd like to
put my research into practice. So please write me, or hell, just drop by!
This could be a huge breakthrough in the science of eyelid
cosmotology, but it can't happen without your help. In return for letting
me perform this surgery on your eyelids, I will give you some genuine eyelid
hairs freshly cut off the head of an authentic freak. This is a limited
offer, so act now.
My Number: Unlisted - if you call the police and say that there was a death
in the family, and that it's crucial you get a hold of me, they'll give you
my number. (of course I'll be on the internet, so don't even bother)
My Adress: Back off you creep, and stop trying to involve me in your freaky
no-eyelid life, I've got a boyfriend - he's Bo$$ MC, he's deaf, and he
says (not in actual words, unfortunately), "Handicapped people are for the
`comics'.. yo yo yo!".
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TRUTH IS STRANGER THAN FICTION
By BMC
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Man, I remember how I used to get hung over when I drank as a
teenager. You know, every time it happened, I would swear it would never
happen again because I would never drink again. A few months later, I would
swear that even though I would still drink, I would never get hung over
again. After a while I would get sick again, and that would be the pattern.
Big Deal. But, as I got older and drank more often, I stopped
getting sick. Then, a few months ago, I decided that I would stop drinking
to keep my mind sharp. It was the greatest period of my life. Then, about
two days ago I went to the bar and drank several pitchers, then went to a
friend's house and drank more there. I had my first hangover in.... hmm...
now, come to think about it, the last time was only about 4 months ago.
Oh well, nigh unto hell with that theory.
Anyway, in the near future, with the Communist overthrow of Canada,
hangovers will be outlawed. Fifteen of the worlds top scientists will be
forced to create an inoculation for the hangover. The only hangovers left
in the world will be in that exceeding special place where pain and suffering
run rampant.
In the future, special beverages will be invented which taste like
Gin, but will contain heavy drugs other than alcohol which will intoxicate
abusers without any side effects. It will be completely safe, and MLC
workers will be used for testing and research. This amazing new drug will
aid the problems of the proletariat, and benefit the Communist nation.
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___________________________________________________
|THE COMINTERN IS AVAILIABLE ON THE FOLLOWING BBS'S |
|~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~|
| BRING ON THE NIGHT (306) 373-4218 |
| CLUB PARADISE (306) 978-2542 |
| THE GATEWAY THROUGH TIME (306) 373-9778 |
|___________________________________________________|
|Website http://ncom.base.org |
|Email BMC at manta1@hotmail.com |
|___________________________________________________|
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Copyright (c) 1998 Comintern Publications and BMC
All Rights Reserved. #17-5/5/98
