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The Neo-Comintern 005
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E-MAG
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The Neo-Comintern Installment 5
We are The 5th International
March 2nd, 1998
Editor: The BoSS MC
Assistant Editor: Komrade B
Writers:
The Comintern Editors
BMC
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EDITOR'S NOTE
What can be said?
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Featured in this installment:
Hope Springs Eternal (E)
Fries- BMC
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Eternal E
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Recently, the untimely death of Eazy-E has come to our attention.
We, the staff of the Neo-Comintern will now express our sorrow of the
passing of this bard with a special 15 page tribute to the eaze.
We'll take it back to the beginning. NWA. As Eazy realeased "Boyz
In Tha Hood", we were spry young lads, approximately 10 years old. It was
a lazy spring afternoon, and a slight breeze kissed my skin as I first heard
this "Insane Gangsta". People say that rap music sucks, and that NWA and
Eazy-E suck. This may be true for all I know, but when I was in my formative
years, this little gangsta was my idol. I remember thinking he was just
a few years older than me, and i still believe he was born in '73.
When I first took my 20 dollar tape to school, only to have it
confiscated by the teacher, I thought for the first time about how Eazy-E
was a true champion for what I later discovered to be Communism. I didn't
know the words, but I knew that that confiscation was the action of fascism,
and every song, every word that spilled from Eazy-E's lips were like razors
ripping apart that capatalist system through a meticulous pattern of nouns
and verbs, as though they were ink flowing from the pen of Yeats. I have
no idea what Yeats wrote. What did Yeats write? Who is Yeats? Is he
a superhero? Is he a Communist? Did he draw Communist propaganda for
Marvel comics in the 50's? Let me just check in the Communist research
labs.....
hmm..it seems thet William Butler Yeats was a nobel prize winning
author from Ireland who died in 1939. Anyway, Eazy-E made rap and no fan can
dispute it. He wrote all the NWA songs and as my reliable sources state
thought of the names of all the rest of the guys in NWA. All the members
originally where named as colours. Grey, Red, Yellow, and Clear. Eazy said it
wouldn't work, so they decided make their names something that was actually
cool.
Now you might not know this but there was a huge dispute over who
got the name Dre. Lorenzo Patterson (Red) and Andre Young (Grey) both wanted
the name of Dre, but considering that Grey's christian name actually
contained the name Dre, he got to be "Mista Dre". Red got his name changed
to "Wren", but due to confusion between him and the 18th century architect,
Sir Christopher Wren, Eazy dropped the W, and changed his name to "Ren".
Oshea Jackson (Clear) got the name "Ice Tea", but because it was too similar
to the rapper "Ice-T", they changed it to "Ice Cube". Oshea was very
dissappointed with this agreement. Yellow got to keep his name, but it was
spelled with a gangsta "A" at the end. Eazy Eric Wright changed his name to
simply "Eazy-E". This, he felt, was a reflection off his informal,
easy-going nature. Now a group was formed.
Then there was the song "Straight outta Compton". It was an
autobiography of the "E". You should listen to it right now. I have
multiple unopened copies of this album in a wooden crate under my bed.
Eazy's climb to number one in all locations is well documented. His
community action songs like "Neighborhood Sniper". Or his love songs like
"Gimme that Nutt" and "I'd Rather Fuck You" speak out to taday's young female
generation. But I personally like his many rebuttles towards Mista Dre, now
Dr.Dre because he got his PHD in loserdom.
At this point it is necessary to dicsuss the sexual fetishes of NWA.
Eazy E was a regular verile young man with a great deal of sexual energy,
sexual energy which spills through into each and every song. Doctor Dre
was into nuts. Every song on his solo album makes at least 5 references
to nuts, and how big they are. Is it possible that Dre has gigantism
of the testicles? He also makes Poop Doggy Dogg talk about his balls.
MC Ren is a unique case. He has an obsession with broomsticks and
implementing them in sexual ways. (ie "stick my dick in her ass like a dry
coarse broom", "cut your hair off and fuck you up the ass with a broomstick",
"nigga came in and started fuckin her with a broom", and "she likes suckin
on dicks and lickin up nut and will even take `the' broomstick up the butt")
The way he says this makes it seem that he has a favorite broom that he
uses in his sexcapades. Ice Cube just likes to get his "grub on", and Yella,
well, Yella is the Smithers to the E's Burns. (no coincidence, actually.
Eazy E was the creator and original producer of "The Simpsons" TV show)
Enough about his much noted public image. While the Compton thugster
was cutting platinum hits there was a much more private Eazy-E. A poet, a
lover, a spokesman, a champion, a Communist. There were some obscure tapes
of him and Ren talking about a segregated society of peasants, a higher
class, feudal societies, and smatterings of MONSTER LABOUR camps. Well, I
should state that Eazy duz most of the talking, and Ren just listens. I know
he was present even though he says nothing except for the occaisional "Yep"
that coincidentally seems to be said at inappropriate times.
Some people say that Dre was the hardest working member of NWA. I
totally agree with this. It seems that because of Dre's extremely low pay,
he also had to work a job as a shipper. He loaded trucks until the day
Eazy-E died and he was freed from his contract. The details of this contract
entail the owing of a one Dre's soul to Eric Wright. So, in a way, Eazy-E
is still alive, but Dre is dead. So, sometimes Dre had just come from work,
which explains why he's always out of breath. Also, sometimes he got locked
out of the studio, and you can hear Dre in the background. (ie "yo dre!"
"what up" "gimme a funky bass line") You can tell that Dre is shouting
this from behind the locked door of the studio.
Now let me get back to Ren's brooms. Another quote from N.W.A.
"Shoot a motha fucka in a minute. Find a good piece of pussy and bust a
broom in it." Whoa, what power from Ren. It would pay homeage to the
greatness of Eazy. Here are some Eazy-E quotations:
"Now cat got beat for resistin arrest."
"I'd ratha fuck with you cuz the other bitchz wanna wine and dine.
I'd better hurry up and get this nut cuz it's check out time."
ANd the solo. "Dettle le beep bop do booby dingle dang coo coo da da
da dad a aaaaaaaaah. DEaaaaaoooooooo."
If you have an official Communist point and click pic gatherer, use
it now
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If you have the program you would see an authentic picture of Eazy
and Ron Jeremy autographed in gold ink by both superstars.
More Eazy-E Quotes:
"How can a nigga die when he's causing the blood shed?"
"Fuck with me I'll put `a' foot in your ass"
"so I slapped the ho like a pimp, I may be a woman beater but I'm
not a pussy eater"
Yella, "the beats master", loved Eazy like a god (lower predicate).
Take note his career ended with Eazy's life. Now we can say that Eazy was
not just an idol to most of us, but in fact an actual living, breathing, god
to some others. It's also imperitive to relay the message that due to lack
of talent, Yella's tribute album was less sucessful than Puff Daddy's.
Again back to Mista Dre, who at this point was know as "Drizzay".
Here are some quotes from his song.
"Back up off deez nutz, Doctor drizzay's about to rip shit up"
"Ya gotz teethz in ya mout soz my dickz gotz to fit"
"ya used ta fuck me"
"I gotz a big dick, big nutz and a big fat chronic sack"
Dre's album should have been called "I Love Nutz" instead of "The
Chronic"
Now that we've bagged on everyone else, with the exception of Clear,
who is barely worth mentioning, let's rag on him. I like the way he tries
to create equality and integration by referring to the whites as "The Devil".
So anyway, Ice Cube, you may have written most of Eazy-E's songs, but there
is no way you could have performed the musical alchemy that the E did. The
E turned your lead into gold. You were deadweight from the beginning, and
the only way you made profit was by clinging to the days of the Eaze and
NWA. You got kicked out cause even Yellow said you were a loser. Just
kidding.
Let's get back to the E and how powerful
his life and death were. His death was paramount tragedy, much like the
deaths of the following:
Princess Diana
Mother Theresa
Jesus
Cowboy from Grandmaster Flash and the Furious 5
The Notorious B.I.G.
Sonny Bono
Red Skelton
My father, W. O. Mitchell
Jason Bateman
Eazy-E will be missed by all, the most by Yellow, the least by Grey,
and somewhere in the middle by the staff of the Neo-Comintern.
Read future installments for lengthy followup articles.
"You're dead now, not number one but a zero"
-Eric Wright
Rest In E
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FRIES
By The BoSS MC
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French Fries and their expression of society
Shoestring fries are for the straight foward type of person. An active
young communist who is focused on politics and striving for utopian society
would be the type of person who prefers these fries.
Crinkle cut fries are obviously for the person who tries to conceal various
things from different people, depending on their perspective. The shadows
of the folds may be hiding vegetable oil, or perhaps a secret fascist
alliance.
Wedge potatoes are for the petty bourgeiouse who want to take a large piece
of the potato, or the country's wealth, depending on your translation,
whether literal or figurative.
Mexi fries are for immigrants and vagabonds.
Spiral fries represent the plummeting economy.
The end
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___________________________________________________
|THE COMINTERN IS AVAILIABLE ON THE FOLLOWING BBS'S |
|~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~|
| BRING ON THE NIGHT (306) 373-4218 |
| CLUB PARADISE (306) 978-2542 |
| THE GATEWAY THROUGH TIME (306) 373-9778 |
|___________________________________________________|
|Website http://www.sfn.saskatoon.sk.ca/~ad357 |
|Email The BoSS MC at manta1@hotmail.com |
|___________________________________________________|
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Copyright (c) 1998 Comintern Publications and The Boss MC
All Rights Reserved. #5-3/2/98
