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The Neo-Comintern 020
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E-MAG
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The Neo-Comintern Installment 20
We are The 5th International
May 17th, 1998
Editor: BMC
Writers:
DJ Gnarly Wayne
BMC
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RAP N ROLL DUTY
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Featured in this installment:
A Gee-Eye-Ay-Een-Tee- Gnarly Wayne
AG (And Other Giantz Of Note)- BMC
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A GEE-EYE-AY-EEN-TEE
by Gnarly Wayne
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"Yeah, I'm a GIANT, that's what you better say, you don't believe it,
then, yo!, check my resume"
When Showbiz and A.G. first released the single "Soul Clap", nobody
thought it would really catch on. They were right, but to Gnarly Wayne, BMC,
Komrade B, and (to a lesser extent) God, it meant so much more. So much
more, in fact, that it was gigantic in proportion to a normal sized humanoid.
Peeping the video would lead you believe that A.G. is, in fact, quite
the opposite of a GIANT. He doesn't seem unhumanly large, nor does he wield
a tree stump or eat livestock whole and raw. But, after a few verses, you
begin to see that A.G. is, in fact, quite a bit smaller than an average
humanoid. A.G. has done much to try to cover up this fact and I have
uncovered this evidence through tireless nights (and days) of reserch. In
reference to the intro quote, here is a snippet of A.G.'s resume:
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Name: A Giant
Race: Giant
Occupation: Being a giant, rapper
Work History: Pizza Hut Cook
Duties Include: cooking pizzas, being a giant, cleaning tables,
handling cash floats, mopping floors
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Here's another quote which I will analyze:
"A GIANT in the mental, yeah, you know that ..."
Am I right to assume that A.G. has some sort of super-sized brain?
Maybe he drank too much nerve tonic. To glance at his cranium, one would
think "That's a normal sized cranium", so, to be true that his brain is of
giant size, this means that his brain must push down his spine and take up
some extra room in the torso area. This leads us to another interesting
mystery ... what organ is A.G. missing so that his brain may reside in it?
Think about that as you chew your beef jerky and drink your milk.
"I've been a GIANT since I wuz a kid ..."
Who were A.G.'s parents and how did they possible lead a normal life?
A.G. leads us to believe he grew up in "the inner city", but being from a
race of giants, how is that possible? A more likely story is that A.G. grew
up high atop Mt. Olympus and came down when he felt like getting a record
deal. A.G. also most likely ran awayne from home, as A.G. is so creative,
his parents could not nourish this attribute. His parents were obviously the
most uncreative giants on the planet, naming their son A Giant.
"Oh look, Allan, it's a beautiful baby giant son."
"Let's name him A Giant."
"I love it!"
A.G. soon hooked up with Showbiz as he was quite unhappy working at
the Pizza Hut and always being called a "stupid giant". They cut the Soul
Clap and A.G. finally had the respect and admiration he wanted, even if it is
only from Gnarly Wayne, BMC, and Komrade B.
Hmmm.. I should have ended this article with the above, but instead,
I'm going to analyze another quote as soon as I can hear one:
"on every continent, I'm a G-I-A-N-T"
A.G., once again, says he is a giant, but proves that he is a giant
in the mental too cause he can spell five letter words. It is interesting
that he would have to mention that he is a giant on every place on the
earth, except for oceans and seas. I would have thought this would go
without saying, but apparently, A.G. must reassure listeners that
he will NOT shrink down to a normal sized human but switching continents.
Now I'm going to analyze the video.
First off, the special effects in this video are spectacular. They
have actually been able to make A.G. look like a smaller than normal sized
humanoid in reference to everyone else. At the beginning, he is perched high
uptop a ladder and you may think "It's just a trick of perception, he is
still a G-I-A-N-T", but later in, in the third verse, which I like to call
"the party scene", A.G. is admist friends, co-workers, past loves, and
Showbiz and it is very clear that he is the smallest person there. I think
A.G. did this to give metaphorical significance of some black thing.
After, he climbs down his ladder in the first verse, he shows just
how much of a giant he is by pushing the ladder over like only a giant can
do. He doesn't even need to look at the ladder, he just knows where it is,
no doubt due to keen giant senses.
The only disappointing thing about the video is that it appears that
A.G. deals with and is friends with Fat Joe, Da Gangsta. The only reason I
could think why A.G. would stoop to such a low is that either he feels more
comfortable with a big fat ass around him, or he is planning on feasting on
Fat Joe should he ever run out of cows and pigs. The End.
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AG (AND OTHER GIANTS OF NOTE)
By BMC
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"A Giant in the mental is worth two in the fern." -BMC
Now I have a few things to say about a G-I-A-N-T. First of all, I
have to tell the world that Showbiz and A.G. are in no way affilliated with
4AD recording artists "They Might Be Giants". Now that I have put an end
to that long lasting controversy, I can continue with my disjointed
ramblings.
Second of all, it is rumored that A.G. might, in fact, not actually
be a giant. Some fans say he is human size, and that makes him a sell-out.
I love him either way. Remember that Nikita Khrushchev, Communist leader
and beautiful person, was only 5'3".
One reason fans believe he is not a giant is because of this quote:
"They know that I'm short because they know that I fight well"
Take Josef Stalin, for example. He was only 5'6", and he was one of
the greatest fighters for Communism in our earthen history. I know some
other people who fight well too. Mike Tyson, for example. I am not sure
exactly how tall he is, but I know that he's short because I know that he
fights well. Or is that "bites well"?
Speaking of biting, in the song "Ballin" by ATL, KMG says "cause I'm
a giant". In Def Jef's song "Droppin Rhymes On Drums", he says "small things
are nothing to a giant". Ice-T also says this on the song "Pimpin Ain't
Easy". A.G.(i-a-n-t) has proven to be an inspiration to the rap world, even
to the rappers who said those quotes before he ever released an album.
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GIANT: n. (in fairy tales) a being of superhuman size; abnormally
large person, animal, or thing; person of outstanding ability;
-a. very large. giantess n, fem
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"The giant is greater, so step back"
This quote is AG's opening statement in "Soul Clap". In this
context, it is obvious that AG is calling himself not only a giant, but
"greater", in a physical sense. Therefore he is a true giant. Perhaps he
is merely short by giant standards.
Other Giants Of Note:
-The Friendly Giant, children's entertainer
-The Gentle Giant, Don Williams
-The Jolly Green Giant, canned vegetable spokesgiant
-The Littlest Giant (from Ren and Stimpy)
-The Sleeping Giant, children's story character
-Andre The Giant, professional wrestler
-Giant Gonzales, professional wrestler
-That guy from 1998 movie "My Giant"
-Goliath, old testament giant
-The Giant from Jack and The Beanstalk
-Common Hill Giant, creature of lore
Giants have always been very important characters in our world,
perhaps even being considered the staple of society by some.
For all of the right-wing parents who read the N-Comintern, these are
the meanings behind some of the lyrics your children are listening to.
"I killed more suckers than a world war"
There were over 15 million people killed in the 2 world wars, if you
include civilians. Only a G-I-A-N-T would be capable of killing this many
people. Proof again that A.G. _is_ a giant. If I were a giant, trying to
sell albums, I would probably not mention the fact that I killed about 7.5
million people.
"for you to hit the giant, that would take a miracle whip"
Is it the unhealthy cholesterol, or the allergic reaction some giants
have toward eggs? Nobody can be sure, but one thing we do know is that the
G-I-A-N-T has but one weakness. It is very important that you tell this to
your kids. Should the giant choose to include you in his list of millions
killed, there is only one defense.
"I love hip hop, not rock and roll, cause I'm a giant and I got lots
of soul"
We now know several things from this song. Not only is the giant
short, a fighter, a lover, a killer and a hero to the International League of
Communism, he is also a hip hop activist. One might have guessed this by the
format of his song, but the G-I-A-N-T leaves no room for questions in this
rap 'n roll lecture. In this quote he also reveals that because he is a
giant, he also has a great big G-I-A-N-T soul.
"those who diss me that's ok"
That's a complete and total relief to me. During my writing of this
essay, I was fearful of retaliation on a giant-sized scale. Not that I'm
dissing the G-I-A-N-T, though, he is a god to me.
Although AG is easy and inexpensive to make fun of, I would be
overjoyed if the world of rap would return to those days. You know, back in
the day where you could respect a rapper as well as making fun of him. Oh,
well, pity that time moves constantly forward. C!
P.S. There is a Showbiz and A.G. greatest hits album coming out
soon. It will be availiable both on 45 and on cassette single.
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___________________________________________________
|THE COMINTERN IS AVAILIABLE ON THE FOLLOWING BBS'S |
|~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~|
| BRING ON THE NIGHT (306) 373-4218 |
| CLUB PARADISE (306) 978-2542 |
| THE GATEWAY THROUGH TIME (306) 373-9778 |
|___________________________________________________|
|Website http://ncom.base.org |
|Email BMC at manta1@hotmail.com |
|___________________________________________________|
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Copyright (c) 1998 Comintern Publications and BMC
All Rights Reserved. #20-5/17/98
