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The Neo-Comintern 018
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E-MAG
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The Neo-Comintern Installment 18
We are The 5th International
May 9th, 1998
Editor: BMC
Writers:
STUYA
BMC
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Featured in this installment:
STUYA
Spite World- BMC
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STUYA
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
Dear
Hi, I'm supposed to write something for this issue, but nobody likes
my writings. So... so long.
Therefore, my message is done. Don't try to make further contact or
else I will send my good friends "The Communists" your way. Bye.
(If you liked what you just read send me $5 and I'll give you a free
registered copy of it.)
P.S. I'm serious, don't try to make contact with me, or it will be your
life!
(If you act now, you'll also get an autographed bulletproof vest with a hand
drawn bulls-eye on it.)
P.P.S. Sleep with one eye open! I'm not schizophrenic!
(Yes I am.)
Sincerely,
STUYA
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SPITE WORLD
By BMC
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
OK, I started working at McCormicks this the other day and after
much rigorous training, I am now an expert on spices. I decided to put my
vast seasoning and spice knowledge to the test by critiquing the new movie
"Spice World", which I was told by a co-worker was an educational film about
the origins of many of the world's spices.
Now, the fact that these spices were actually represented by human
actors threw me off a bit at first. "How can spices talk?", I asked the guy
sitting behind me. "Oh well", I thought, "This must be that `artistic
liscense' I often have heard about."
So there's these five "spice girls" who are starting a band or
something. It is much like the California Rasins, another singing food group
that mesmerized us in the late 80's. Ahh, the 80's. Max Headroom, CCDC
glasses, neon hats, Cherry 7up. Speaking of the 80's, I saw the movie "The
Wedding Singer" the other day, and it sucked. As with any Adam Sandler movie
(or any other Saturday Night Live alumni movie), this story kept going for
the same joke over and over and over and over and. The single, continuing
joke in this movie was the use of 80's music for the intent of humour.
Perhaps an 80's hit might come on the radio and a guy will sing along with
it. Maybe someone will make reference to an 80's song. The people who laugh
at this garbage- who are they? Are the people laughing with, or at Sandler?
Not funny. This is among the worst movies I have ever seen. Now, Spice
World, that's a completely different affair.
Now take for example, Ginger Spice. This actress portrays the spice
of ginger with accuracy. Her hair colour is ginger-like, and she is tasty in
Chinese recipies. It's true! Ginger beef is one of the best dishes
availiable in fine restaurants today.
But what about these other spices? Baby spice, for instance. What
is baby spice? Did the creator of this name, disturbing to say the least,
mean to imply that babies are intended to be eaten and that there is a
certain spice that improves their taste? Or did the sick bastard intend for
militant fans of the movie to grind babies to spice in large baby mills?
I cringe at this, for I have seen the mills and mixers. They are no place
for a baby. I personally have no desire to eat food or spices made from
babies, and I feel that this is one of the most disgusting concepts ever
envisioned by a movie writer.
Scary spice? What the hell is that? Let me just say that even
after perusing all of the McCormick company's "Top Secret" documents, I have
yet to find out about a "scary" spice. Well, actually, pepper is pretty
scary to someone with allergies, but I really don't get the reasoning behind
that. Oh, and the market prices for spices are high, so that's a kind of
scary too, but it still dosen't make a whole lot of sense to me. And sporty
spice. When I think of sporty I think of gamey. If I were hunting wild game
and caught, oh say, an elk, I would like to use some type of "sporty" spice
on it.
Posh spice. Where do they get these stupid alternative names for
spices? Since this is the only name left, it must cover all the rest of the
spices, especially the fine ones found in upper downtown fine restaurants.
In closing, I was dissappointed with this movie. I found that it
focused too much on music and clothes, and not nearly enough on the pure
spice. Where does paprika fit in? I'd like to know that. huh? WHERE THE
HELL DOES PAPRIKA FIT IN? When the current "government" is overthrown by
the underground militia, a few crappy landmines around the Diefenbaker bunker
won't stop us. Nothing will stop us, because the way of spice will be on our
side. We will kill or die for paprika to earn it the name it deserves.
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___________________________________________________
|THE COMINTERN IS AVAILIABLE ON THE FOLLOWING BBS'S |
|~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~|
| BRING ON THE NIGHT (306) 373-4218 |
| CLUB PARADISE (306) 978-2542 |
| THE GATEWAY THROUGH TIME (306) 373-9778 |
|___________________________________________________|
|Website http://ncom.base.org |
|Email BMC at manta1@hotmail.com |
|___________________________________________________|
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Copyright (c) 1998 Comintern Publications and BMC
All Rights Reserved. #18-5/9/98
