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The mini-Annals of Improbable Research 1994-03
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The mini-Annals of Improbable Research ("mini-AIR")
Issue Number 1994-03
July, 1994
ISSN 1076-500X
Key words:science humor,Improbable Research,Ig Nobel
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The mini-journal of inflated research and personalities.
Published by The Annals of Improbable Research (AIR)
at The MIT Museum
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1994-03-01 TABLE OF CONTENTS
1994-03-01 Table of Contents
1994-03-02 News: Yes Indeed! Curiousity, Kilt, the, CAT
1994-03-03 Additional, Unreported Dangers from Mexican food
1994-03-04 International Sweetness Ages
1994-03-05 Specimen of the Month
1994-03-06 May We Recommend...
1994-03-07 Upcoming Events
1994-03-08 Calls for Papers
1994-03-09 Purpose of mini-AIR (*)
1994-03-10 How to Submit Articles (*)
1994-03-11 How to Subscribe to AIR(*)
1994-03-12 How to Receive to mini-AIR, etc.(*)
1994-03-13 AIR's Mailing and Internet Addresses (*)
1994-03-14 Please DO make copies! (*)
Items marked (*) are reprinted in every issue.
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1994-03-02 News: AIR, Curiousity, Kilt, the, CAT
1. Yes Indeed!
We are very pleased to announce:
You can now become a charter subcriber (whatever that means) to
The Annals of Improbable Research (AIR). The magazine will appear
on your doorstep 6 times per year. For details, see section 1994-
03-11 below. PLEASE SPREAD THE WORD!!!!!!
2. Curiousity
We AIRheads continue to receive queries from former readers of The
Journal of Irreproducible Results (JIR) hungry for details of why
the entire staff (1955-1994) of JIR felt it necessary to resign
from that publication and create The Annals of Improbable Research
(AIR). The matter is explained in news reports in The Scientist
(July 11), Science (June 24) and Nature (June 9). Details can
also be obtained by emailing a request to air@mit.edu.
3. Kilt
Would the Scottish reader who mailed a kilt to the AIR editorial
office please inform us of your address? We are otherwise unable
to send you a letter acknowledging that the contribution is tax-
deductible.
3. the
Effective with this issue of mini-AIR, we must discontinue our
popular data feature "The 'The' Count." "The 'The' Count"
reported how many times during the previous month the the word
"the" appeared in major metropolitan newspapers in 162 cities. If
and when Internet sites in Asia and Australia agree not to censor
the data, we will resume publishing the column.
4. CAT
The winner of the CAT scanner lottery is Norman F. Lee of Hong
Kong. Second prize, a wooden tongue depressor, was won by Traian
Mihaescu of Iasi, Romania.
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1994-03-04 Additional, Unreported Dangers from Mexican food
by Steve Mirsky
New York City
The recent report from CSIPI [1] on the high fat and salt content
of Mexican food, though long overdue, still neglects to
implicate the myriad other health dangers consumers face when
dining in Mexican restaurants.
The plates upon which Mexican food is traditionally served
can be very, very hot, indeed approaching the "yip yip woo
hatcha" stage. Contact between said plates and human skin
can result in tissue damage followed by vigorous hand waving
and blowing that in turn can cause hyperventilation.
A little-discussed danger of Mexican dining is the finite
probability of encounters with roving Mariachia bands. A
condition known as Castanet Culjone, though rare, is
particularly painful and debilitating. In addition, the
small mobile orchestras are exceptionally annoying, which can
lower the immune response.
Finally, there is the much observed but little discussed
"twice-burned" phenomenon, consistent with the relative
indigestibility of certain key ingredients of Mexican food
that register particularly high on the Scoville Organoleptic
Test (the official scale of hotness)[2]. At least one Navy test
has shown that window cleaning fluid, especially if it
contains ammonia, can be an effective topical neutralizing
solution for SOEYYWH (Sudden Onset Egress Yip Yip Woo
Hatcha)[3].
REFERENCES
1. The Center for Science in the Public Interest
2. "Peppers," by Amal Naj, Vintage Books, 1992, p. 25.
3. Personal communication to the author. A Naval Academy graduate
reports that his roommate at Annapolis used to spray his (the
roommate's own) anal region with Windex after a spicy meal.
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1994-03-04 International Sweetness Ages
by Susan Andersen, Lennox University, London, U.K., and Bernadette
Highwood, University of Massachusetts, Amherst, Massachusetts
In virtually every culture, people who have generous, kind
dispositions are described as being "sweet." However, this term
is usually reserved (by other adults) for individuals who have
reached a certain age. We conducted a cross-national study[1] to
determine how "the minimum age of adult sweetness" varies from
country to country. Our results our presented below.[2]
Country Age (Number of people surveyed)
======= === =========================
Argentina 51 5
Australia 64 550
Austria 58 69
Belgium 57 57
Brazil 56 179
Bulgaria[2] 90 1
Canada 58 867
Columbia 59 2
Costa Rica 58 2
Croatia[2] 114 1
Denmark 59 59
Ecuador[2] 3 1
Estonia 63 7
Fiji[2] 98 1
Finland 67 85
France 14 89
Germany 84 357
Great Britain 64 1222
Greece 58 12
Hongkong 51 17
Hungary 59 4
Iceland 66 7
India 50 27
Ireland 60 41
Israel 75 124
Italy 55 60
Japan 62 41
Korea 58 3
Kuwait[2] 206 1
Malaysia 54 6
Mexico 59 14
Netherlands 50 178
New Zealand 64 103
Norway 62 80
Peru 50 2
Poland 67 12
Portugal 58 29
Romania[2] 714 1
Russia[2] 4 1
Saint Lucia[2] 1 1
Saudi-Arabia[2] 91 1
Singapore 58 27
Slovenia 69 2
South Africa 50 75
Spain 48 33
Sweden 48 143
Switzerland 69 94
Taiwan 61 10
Thailand 54 10
Turkey 58 10
USA 68 12934
NOTES
1. Due to space limitations,we cannot list here the many national
agencies that helped us carry out the survey. We gratefully
acknowledge their assistance.
2. Data may not be reliable for countries that reported fewer than
two responses to the survey question.
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1994-04-05 Specimen of the Month
Taxonomic and analytical text prepared by Emmert Lowery, Jr.
This item is on exhibit at The MIT Museum.
ITEM #786-4591-089 Ferdie The Cow
This fiberglass bovine, measuring eight feet in length from tail
to snout and four feet tall at the shoulders, appeared on the
morning of October 31, 1979 perched atop MIT's 150 feet tall
Great Dome. The previous night Ferdi had been, "liberated" from
its home in the Hilltop Steak House in Saugus, Massachusetts, by
an unidentified group of MIT students. Ferdi's visit to the Great
Dome attracted wide media coverage, and the Hilltop management
took it in good stride, displaying Ferdi with mortar board and
diploma after its return home.
Ferdi returned to MIT in 1990, as part of the MIT Museum's exhibit
on science humor. Since then she has served both as exhibit
artifact and landmark. "Take a right at the cow," has become a
standard instruction to visitors.
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1994-03-06 May We Recommend...
Research reports that merit a trip to the library:
"Identification of Gourmet Meat Using FINS (Forensically
Informative Nucleotide Sequencing)," by Alistair Raymond Russel
Forrest and Patrick Robert Carnegie., "Biotechniqes," 1994, vol.
17, no 1, pp. 24-26. The report reads in part:
"To protect both producers and consumers from illegal substitution
of cheaper meats for expensive meats, it is necessary to have
tests available that are effective with both cooked and processed
meats.... This high cost of development cannot be justified for
gourmet meats, such as emu, crocodile, and buffalo... As an
example of the application of the improved FINS technique, a
sample of an emu shish kebab ordered at a local restaurant was
analyzed..." It was found that the "emu" shish kebab was actually
buffalo shish keb. (Thanks to Gene Cutler for bringing this to
our attention.)
"An Automated Feeding and Testing Device for Elephants," by
Charles W. Hyatt, Andy T. Richardson, Bruce W. Copeland, John R.
Lehnhardt, "IEEE Transactions on Instrumentation and Measurement,"
Vol. 43, No. 1, February 1994, pp 100-101. The abstract reads:
"An automated feeding and testing device was developed to provide
behavioral enrichment and research instrumentation for the
elephants at the National Zoological Park/Smithsonian Institution
in Washington, DC." (Thanks to Steve Goldstein for bringiing this
to our attention. Goldstein points out that this device may be
the world's biggest touchpad keyboard.)
(We welcome your suggestions for this column. Please include full
citations. If possible, please send us a photocopy of the paper.)
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1994-03-07 Upcoming Events
MIT ALUMNI/AE CLUB OF LONG ISLAND date TBA
U RHODE ISLAND, Kingston Sept 30, 3 pm
Pastore Hall Auditorium (Chemistry Dept.)
Spons. by URI Sigma Xi and URI Dept. of Chemistry
For info: Prof. Louis J. Kirschenbaum
kirschenbaum@chm.uri.edu 401-792-2340
1994 IG NOBEL PRIZE CEREMONY Thurs., October 6
Kresge Auditorium,MIT, Cambridge, Massachusetts.
You are cordially invited to attend.
"CRAZY AFTER CALCULUS" ongoing
An ongoing exhibition of extraordinary humor at MIT from
prehistoric times through the presen. [NOTE: The police car that
recently materialized atop MIT's Great Dome is now in storage at
The MIT Museum.]
The MIT Museum
265 Massachusetts Avenue, Cambridge, MA 02139 USA
(617) 253-4422 (ktl@mitvma.mit.edu)
GODDARD SPACE CENTER, Greenbelt, MD Oct 28
details TBA
MENSA CONVENTION, Chicago, IL Sat., Oct. 29
For info call Dianne Miller, (708) 747-5651
INTERSOCIETY POLYMER SOCIETY Mon., October 10, 1995
Stouffer Harborplace Hotel, Baltimore, MD
The society recommends early reservations. Info: (518) 387-7942
***
In honor (?) of the new book, "Sex As a Heap of Malfunctioning
Rubble," (see below) the books's editor and many of its other
authors are barnstorming North America, doing readings/slide shows
and presenting current trends in improbable research.
Stops on this first leg of the tour included:
POWELL'S TECHNICAL BOOKS, Portland, OR;
UNIV. OF PORTLAND; MICROSOFT, Redmond, WA; UNIV. of WASHINGTON,
Seattle; UC BERKELEY; 3DO, Redwood City, CA;
"WEST COAST LIVE" (NPR); U CHICAGO; NORTHERN ILLINOIS U;
SCI-FI MINICON, Bloomington, MN; BROOKHAVEN NAT'L LAB;
COLUMBIA PRSBYTERIAN MEDICAL CTR; NEW YORK MENSA CLUB;
CORNELL U. MEDICAL CENTER; BRYN MAWR COLLEGE; FRANKLIN INSTITUTE,
Philadelphia; ARMY RESEARCH FORUM, Alexandria, VA;
ENVIRONMENTAL PROTECTION AGENCY, Washington, DC;
CONGRESSIONAL OFFICE OF TECHNOLOGY ASSESSMENT, Washington, DC;
LIBRARY OF CONGRESS, Washington, DC; MARY WASHINGTON COLLEGE,
Fredricksburg, VA; NAVY RESEARCH LAB, Washington DC;
NATIONAL INSTITUTES OF HEALTH, Bethesda, MD; HORN POINT
ENVIRONMENTAL LAB, Cambridge, MD; TECHNICON SCI-FI CONVENTION,
VIRGINIA TECH, Blacksburg, VA; CEBAF NATIONAL LAB; U CINCINNATI;
AMERICAN CHEMICAL SOCIETY, Cincinatti, OH; OHIO STATE U;
CORNELL UNIVERSITY; MIT ALUMNI CLUB of NEW HAMPSHIRE
::::: THE NEXT LEGS: Invite us to your place!!
Other events are being organized now.
If you would like to be a host/instigator for an Improbable
Science Event for 50 or more people at your city, university,
hospital, research center, high school, book store, etc., ASAP
please contact the editor .
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1994-03-08 Calls for Papers
CALL FOR PAPERS on the topic: "A Knot Theorist's Analysis of City
Street Maps." We are seeking a series of cross-disciplinary
reports in which the mathematics of knot theory is used to analyze
the city street maps of Tokyo, London, Buenos Aires and other
complex cities. Please include maps and relevant diagrams.
CALL FOR SLIDES AND X-RAYS that show unexpected shapes (swans,
chickens, elephants, the Eiffel Tower, dogs, fish, smiley faces,
ships, trains, Bart Simpson, Margaret Thatcher, etc., etc.). The
most outstanding of these will appear on the cover of AIR.
CALL FOR NOMINATIONS for the 1994 Ig Nobel Prizes. Ig Nobel Prizes
are awarded for achievements that cannot or should not be
reproduced. Nominations may be submitted, anonymously or
otherwise, by e-mail or by standard mail.
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1994-03-9 Purpose of mini-AIR (*)
The mini-Annals of Improbable Research (mini-AIR) publishes news
about improbable research and ideas. Specifically:
A) Haphazardly selected superficial (but advanced!) extracts of
research news and satire from The Annals of Improbable Research.
B) News about the annual Ig Nobel Prize ceremony.
C) News about other science humor activities intentional and
otherwise.
WHAT IS AIR? (An introduction, of sorts)
AIR is a new magazine produced by the entire former editorial
staff (1955-1994) of "The Journal of Irreproducible Results
(JIR)," the world's oldest satirical science journal. The new
magazine's co-founders are Marc Abrahams, who edited JIR from
1990-1994, and Alexander Kohn, who founded JIR in 1955 and was its
editor until 1989. AIR is published at the MIT Museum in
Cambridge, MA. AIR's editorial board consists of more than 40
distinguished scientists from around the world including seven
Nobel Laureates. Every October, AIR and the MIT Museum produce the
Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony, honoring people whose achievements cannot
or should not be reproduced.
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1994-03-10 How to Submit Articles (*)
The Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) publishes original
articles, data, effluvia and news of improbable research. The
material is intended to be humorous and/or educational, and
sometimes is. We look forward to receiving your manuscripts,
photographs, X-rays, drawings, etc. Please do not send biological
samples. Photos should be black & white if possible. Reports of
research RESULTS, modest or otherwise, are preferred to
speculative proposals.
Articles are typically 500-2000 words in length.
Articles intended for mini-AIR should be much shorter.
Please send two neatly printed copies.
Alternatively, you may submit via e-mail, in ASCII format.
Because of the volume of submissions, we are unable to acknowledge
receipt of printed manuscripts unless they are accompanied by a
SELF-ADDRESSED, ADEQUATELY STAMPED ENVELOPE.
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1994-03-11 How to Subscribe to AIR(*)
The first issue of AIR will appear in late autumn. A large number
of subscribers would make it possible to accelerate the schedule,
so please pass the word to anyone else who might like to
subscribe!
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1994-03-12 How to Receive to mini-AIR, etc.(*)
mini-AIR is an electronic publication, available over the
Internet, free of charge. It is distributed as a LISTSERV
application. We publish approximately 12 issues per year.
To subscribe, send a brief E-mail message to either of these
addresses:
LISTSERV@MITVMA.MIT.EDU or LISTSERV@MITVMA
The body of your message should contain ONLY the words "SUBSCRIBE
MINI-AIR" followed by your name.
Here are two examples:
SUBSCRIBE MINI-AIR Irene Curie Joliot
SUBSCRIBE MINI-AIR Nicholai Lobachevsky
To stop subscribing,
send the following message to the same address:
SIGNOFF MINI-AIR
To obtain a list of back issues,
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INDEX MINI-AIR
To retrieve a particular back issue,
send a message specifying which issue you want.
For example, to retrieve issue 94-00001,send this message:
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To obtain a somewhat complete list of gopher sites that maintain
mini-AIR, email us a request.
::::: AIR extracts are on USENET
The USENET news group clari.feature.imprb_research presents a
syndicated weekly column of reports extracted from The Annals of
Improbable Research. The material presented there is different
from what appears here in mini-AIR.
[Please note: The news group is available to you if and only if
your Internet site subscribes to the Clarinet newsgroups.]
::::: Books
"Sex As a Heap of Malfunctioning Rubble (and further
improbabilities): More of the Best of The Journal of
Irreproducible Results," Marc Abrahams, editor.
A collection of dangerously potent science humor, much of it
written by the people who have now founded AIR. With riveting
photos, x-rays and eye charts.
Workman Publishing, New York, 1993. ISBN 1-56305-312-8 $14
"The Journal of the Institute for Hacks, TomFoolery, and Pranks at
MIT," by Brian Leibowitz.
A complete history, lavishly illustrated with inspirational
photos, of the world's leading institute for elegantly conceived,
engineered, and connived collegiate practical joking.
The MIT Museum, Cambridge, 1988. ISBN-0-917027-03-5 $24
Both books are available from the MIT Museum. The prices quoted
here include shipping/handling to any destination at or above sea
level. For expedited Air Mail Service to locations outside the US,
add $12 to the order. Otherwise, we'll ship book rate. These books
can also be found in many libraries and bookstores.
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1994-03-13 AIR's Mailing and Internet Addresses
Our mailing address:
The Annals of Improbable Research (AIR)
The MIT Museum
265 Massachusetts Ave., Cambridge, MA 02139 USA
(617) 253-4462 fax: (617)253-8994
Editorial matters: (617) 253-8329
PLEASE include your Internet address
in all printed correspondence.
Our Internet addresses:
Editorial matters: air@mit.edu
Ig Nobel matters: ig@mit.edu
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1994-03-14 Please DO make copies! (*)
You have permission to distribute copies of mini-AIR or excerpts
from it. The only limitations are:
A) Please indicate that the material appeared in mini-AIR and is
reprinted with permission.
B) You do NOT have permission to copy or excerpt this document for
commercial purposes.
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(c) copyright 1994, The Annals of Improbable Research
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The mini-Annals of Improbable Research (mini-AIR)
Editor: Marc Abrahams (marca@mit.edu)
Chairman of the Editorial Board: Alexander Kohn
Tech Support: Christopher Small (chris@das.harvard.edu)
Associate Editors: Mark Dionne, Stanley Eigen, Jane Patrick
Museum Exhibits Coordinator: Diego Garcia
Authority Figure: Barbara Linden
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IMPORTANT -- The Annals of Improbable Research is IN NO WAY
associated with the name "The Journal of Irreproducible
Results" or with the publisher of "The Journal of
Irreproducible Results"
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