The Lone Gunmen Issue 095

eZine lover (@eZine)

Published in 

The Lone Gunmen

 · 5 years ago

  

 
                 ______________ 
                |  ___    ___  | 
                | |_  |  |  _| |  ______           ______ 
                |___| |  | |___| |_    _|        /        \ 
                      |  |         |  |         |   /----\/ 
                      |  |         |  |         |  | 
                      |  |         |  |         |  |    ___ 
                      |  |         |  |  __     |  |   <_  | Issue #:095 
                     _|  |_       _|  |_|  |    |   \___/  | Date:11/20/96 
                    |______|  () |_________| ()  \________/ () 
                     _ / /                            \ \ _ 
                   / _ /     THE LONE GUNMEN Presents:  \ _ \ 
                  | |                                      | | 
                  | |           Screw Your School          | | 
                  | |          Written By: THouGHT         | | 
                  | |                                      | | 
                  | |                                      | | 
                  |  \____________________________________/  | 
                   \________________________________________/ 

 

 
********************************STOP****************************************** 
*** In this day and age, anyone can get there hands on txt philez and that *** 
*** means that even the YuppIe kids, who don't follow directions, can (and *** 
*** will probly blow there faces,hands,fingers,noses,legs,nipples, and P-P *** 
*** blown off, so befor you continue read the File "DISCLAIM.ER!" that was *** 
*** included in the .ZIP file. it basicly says that you cant sew me if you *** 
*** get fucked. ************************************************************** 
****************************************************************************** 

Ok hello again, some little tips for getting back at that shitty institution 
we call high school. 

 
1. Get a syringe(from local junkie, or other reliable source) Mix a tube of 
epoxy glue with small amount of rubbing  alcohol. You now have 'bout 30 mins 
to fill locks, door jambs, and other places that would piss someone off. After 
30 miuets though the mixture hardens. 

2. Take the syringe from #1 and pretend to shoot up during class. 

3. Call the school and leave the phone off the hook. 

4. Draw or super glue a obscene poster or other piece of wonderful artwork 
on wall maps or movie screens. 

5. Shitty food, can you say food riot? 

6. In gym clases or in hallways between clases have massive searches for lost 
contact lenses. 

7. Free all of the animals and other assorted goodies from the Science rooms. 

8. Write a consumer report on the "Education" your reciving. Distribute at all 
PTA and other parent-school board functions. 

9. Preform citizens arrests on the administrators at your school for destroy- 
ing the minds of youth, den call da cops. 

10. If you got the balls piss in your pants while giving a presentation in front 
of your class. 

11. Demand to see your school records (If they give you shit, tell them to go 
fuck themselves, you have every legal right to see them) 

12. Have giant sneezing and coughing epidemics in class and study hall. 

13. Rub lipstick, glue, vaseline, or poo onto the doorknobs of the schools 
administrative offices and other assorted places. 

14. Swallow some snake bite antidote, then walk into the principals office 
The antidote(get the safe kind)will make you yuke. Have fun :) 

15. Pick up some dog training liquid-smells like concentrated piss, then go 
nuts. 

16. Remove contents of teachers mailboxes, keep the interesting and confidental 
stuff. 

17. Leave notes that say "Thursday's the day...." 

18. Impersonate parental voices and make nasty phone calls to the office. 

19. (NOTE:The mixture used to make the stink bomb was totally Abigwar's idea, 
just giving credit where credit's do) Jack some Hydrochloric Acid from a 
science room, then get a chunk of aluminum place in acid, and run, You will 
puke from this if you smell the stuff. 

20. Call in a bomb threat, good for big test days. 

21. Print up false notices using the same format as the school uses, then 
print up some shit, and put them in the teachers mailboxes. 

22. Late at night, do some new "Art" to your school, spray paint 
works good (red). 

23. Get ahold of a film that is to be shown  at a assembly or in many clases, 
edit the tape, and add some choice scenes from your favorite flicks, (Allmost 
anything from Basic Instinct or the comedy Clerks) 

24. Get some clay and come in early and put it in the drains of all the 
bathrooms, then turn on the water. :) 

25. Teachers often leave gradebooks, conduct sheets, and attendance records 
unguarded. Use this to your advantage. 

26. Put up posters all around the school. To make them stick permanatly use Pet 
evaporated milk for glue. 

27. Ride a bicycle down a busy hall. 

28. Let skunks, rats, chickens, or pigeons loose in the school. 

29. Start swearing profousely in the halls..loudly. 

30. Carry and sell oregano rolled up in paper and asprin with the name filed 
off. 

31. Take booze to school in a thermos and pass it around. 

32. Put alarm clocks up around the school and set them for the loudest 
setting them to go off every 10 mins. 

33. walk around you school with a large American flag and loudly sing the 
Star spangeled Banner, when you get in trouble contact all the local TV 
and Radio stations and tell them how you got fucked. 

Well kiddies go have some fun, and don't fucking blame me if you get screwed. 

(c)opyright THouGHT 1996, All rights reserved. 
SAUCE00Screw Your School                  THouGHT             ThE Lone Gunmen[TlG]19961121 

P†