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The Lone Gunmen Issue 047
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| | | | __ | | <_ | Issue #:047
_| |_ _| |_| | | \___/ | Date:04\27\96
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/ _ / THE LONE GUNMEN Presents: \ _ \
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| | Deep Thoughts | |
| | Written By: THouGHT | |
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********************************STOP******************************************
*** In this day and age, anyone can get there hands on txt philez and that ***
*** means that even the YuppIe kids, who don't follow directions, can (and ***
*** will probly blow there faces,hands,fingers,noses,legs,nipples, and P-P ***
*** blown off, so befor you continue read the File "DISCLAIM.ER!" that was ***
*** included in the .ZIP file. it basicly says that you cant sew me if you ***
*** get fucked. **************************************************************
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Well here's some more tid bit's from me.
Hey I just realized something. This place is a garbage dump. One
hot, dry, garbage dump.
A Palestinian pausing to reflect before firing his
rifle in the air in continued celebration.
He lured me up to his bedroom under false pretenses of oral sex.
Then without warning, he pulled out some contracts and forms and started
discussing music. I told him i wasn't that kind of girl. I felt so dirty.
Madonna
Hey, baby, wanna go out? Spend any money? Hey, sugar....Yeah i'm
talking to you. Come here cutie. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, you look so good.
Your 18 year old daughter, paying the tuition
you can't offord.
So you wanna see how good the thigh master works, huh ass-hole?
Why don't you put your head between my Knees and i'll show you.
Ms. Summers, Tired of being a bimbo.
No sweat. I just tightened up my buttcheeks really hard and pretended
to cry like when my mom spanked me. Hah, slant-eyed suckers! I think i'll go
back out tonight and tag a couple more cars.
Micheal Fay, Putting the sing back in Singapore
Everybody always talks about poor Micheal Fay. How do you think i
Feel? I have to get all wet and slap his pimpily white ass! And i'm not
even gay!
The Cane, Singapore
You know honey, I could have saved one more Jew if i Hadn't made
a copy of the list. Oh well.
Oskar Schindler
And now for my next act.....Whatch as i make my virginity disapear.
I'd like some help from the audience for this one.
David Copperfield
Hey all you Supermodels, why don't you bitches get in line and
see who get's to be the first to shack up with the world's most eligable
batchelor! Cause the Piano Man's single, and he's on the warpath, and he's
gonna tag you all, one by one!
Billy Joel, Pushing His luck
So you want to hear some scary stories do ya? Ok you hear the one
about the 16 year-old kid who has this asshole dad who thinks it's a funny
prank to smear pig's blood all over his sons sheets, and plays really shitty
Metalica Music on his guitar with his dipshit friends and his son can't
even invite his friends over because his dad is always sitting on the couch
naked whatching football with his Frankinstien mask on. How's That for horror!
Stephan King Jr., Bangor, Maine
And now for my last act...Whatch as i make Claudia Schiffer's taste
in good men Dissapear.
David Copperfield, testing the outer limits of his
magic.
Well that's it, and remember drugs are bad ;)
