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The Lone Gunmen Issue 043
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| | | | __ | | <_ | Issue #:043
_| |_ _| |_| | | \___/ | Date:04\12\96
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_ / / \ \ _
/ _ / THE LONE GUNMEN Presents: \ _ \
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| | The Art Of Falling Down | |
| | Written By: Captain Head | |
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********************************STOP******************************************
*** In this day and age, anyone can get there hands on txt philez and that ***
*** means that even the YuppIe kids, who don't follow directions, can (and ***
*** will probly blow there faces,hands,fingers,noses,legs,nipples, and P-P ***
*** blown off, so befor you continue read the File "DISCLAIM.ER!" that was ***
*** included in the .ZIP file. it basicly says that you cant sew me if you ***
*** get fucked. **************************************************************
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Falling down is starting to become a lost art form. There are
not many good trippers and/or fallers left in the world today. Falling
down can be done for amusement, damage, or injury. I will list some of
the most popular falls and a few of the more dangerous ones.
I The Open Space Trip
===================
This is an easy fall to do. All you need is some open floor ahead
of you, say about 20 feet, and absolutely nothing in your path.
This is of great importance. Start walking at a reasonable pace,
and either catch your foot on the ground or the back of your other
heel. Trip and hit the ground. (As with all falls, be sure to
land on your upper arm\shoulder region. NEVER land on your knees
or elbows, as great pain can occur.) For added effect, slap the
ground real hard and roll around. People will either a.) look at
you like you are asshole, or b.) stop and see if you are ok. This
fall is done for amusement purposes only.
II The Shoe Rack Fall
==================
This fall is done with intent to cause damage or a mess to a
storefront. As with the open space trip, walk at a casual pace.
Make sure to talk to your friends or look at something while you
are walking. Now, this next part can be done in 2 ways. Either
trip and fall into the rack, scattering merchandise everywhere,
or you can walk straight into the rack like you never knew it
was there. This one makes more of a mess, because you will take
out the whole rack. Tripping into it only causes a minor mess.
Remember not to fall onto the rack. It may be sharp and you can
get hurt.
III The Take Someone Out Trip
=========================
This is a personal favorite of mine. Find someone walking along
and get about 2-3 feet behind him or her. Trip and make sure you
clip the back of the person's legs. This will cut the legs out
from under the person, causing him/her to fall and possibly drop
whatever they are carrying. DO NOT do this to someone who could
possibly beat you up. This is best done on little kids, dorks,
and older men.
IV The Escalator Fall
==================
DO NOT attempt this fall until you feel you have mastered the
basics of falling down. This will almost definately cause injury
to you or other people. Step onto a crowded escalator. Try to
move so that you either slip or trip on the step. Let yourself
fall and roll down the escalator. You will knock down anything
in your path. Very funny if done right. Another version of this
one is the bottom of the escalator fall. As you are stepping off,
catch your toe in the area where the steps begin to go under the
floor. Fall down. If possible, knock something over.
V The Inanimate Object Fall
=========================
Very simple fall. Can be done in a variety of places. Walk, and
just fall over something in your way. Preferably a plant or one
of those children's rides that you put a quarter in. Chairs also
work well in this situation. If you are feeling really wild, you
can go for the Fountain Fall. This is done in public places where
there is a fountain in the floor. If there is no wall protecting
it, just trip and fall right in. If there is a wall, have someone
shove you or bang into it and flip right into the water.
VI The Sonofabitch Fall
====================
Lots of fun. Get in a VERY crowded area, such as the exit of a
soprts arena, where everyone is packed in tightly. When the people
start to walk, throw yourself forward into the crowd, and scream
"Sonofabitch!!!!!" It will shove the whole crowd forward, and
stops everyone behind you. While on the ground, scream "Shit!!!
I'm being trampled!!!!!" It adds to the effect.
These are a few of the falls you can do. Feel free to make your
own as you go along.
